(Special Collectors' Edition) Nancy Checks out the hottest spot in town...when murder crashes the party
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gellaho
🚨 The Nancy Drew Files ™️ Poll Time 🚨
This time we're going back to the lady with the blonde hair and bad taste in men. Vote for your favorite by using the matching reaction.
🚕 #15 - Trial by Fire
💃 #100 - Dance Till You Die
🐬 #121 - Natural Enemies
Polls close in three hours.
FancyShark
I'm voting for the one I'm least excited about because I have to miss the read this week
Mudjacked Concrete Javo
Are you not seeing the fucking dancing karate kick
FancyShark
That's why I'm not voting for it!
I want to be here for that one!
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
I'm assuming the Natural Enemies are animals and that one's going to involve fighting animals
Could be dece
FancyShark
They all sound promising. But I'm listening to the selfish part of my brain
Gentleman Brendan
I'm glad we all chose wisely and the same.
gellaho
The people have spoken. For this edition of The Book Cage, we will be reading a very Special Collectors' Edition of The Nancy Drew ™️ Files #100: Dance Till You Die. We got knife fights, disappearances, strangulations, and invitations. This Friday, 5pm eastern, we will find out what this random eagle is about.
gellaho
gellaho
@Brockway pin this, or become a gorgeous dead DJ
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
Oh shit Razor's Edge nightclub
So edgy
gellaho
With a name like that you'd think the DJ would be slashed to death, but no dice
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
Can't get slashed to death if you dance-kick the knife away
gellaho
That cover is a collage of madness
Dolphin cop Thrillho
I thought that was a promotional image from Streets of Rage for a second
Brockway
Don't fuckin tempt me
gellaho
I'm sure it'd be a beautiful corpse
gellaho
Coming up on the hour, it's The Nancy Drew Files ™️ #100 - Dance Till You Die. Nancy Drew does not provide previews, so go over these case notes instead
Mudjacked Concrete Javo
Gaetan Orakuma
gellaho
Weird names in this one.
Going to be difficult on the phone
gellaho
Charity Freeborn is a fake name if I've ever seen one
Chloes massive punchcock pronoun
Holy shit I love THE CASE:
gellaho
Getting started a little late, but here we go
gellaho
Off to a thrilling start
Kahn Air
Not in the US, though. Life plus 70 only applies to works first published after 1978, otherwise it's 95 years from publication
gellaho
When I think cool, I think bald head, pink shirt
Derpbat
Nancy Drew in a t-shirt? At the club?
Shock!
Greg
You have to dress comfortable when you Dance Till You Die
gellaho
A common teen girl problem is dweebs from the riding club
gellaho
I feel like naming the club "The E" might confuse the people looking for party drugs
gellaho
gellaho
Yeah, like that
Derpbat
The Edge? Now you're taunting the drug addicted.
gellaho
Nancy's right, there's no reason for anyone to want Bess
gellaho
Dance Club Revenge sounds like a great movie
Gentleman Brendan
SALUTATIONS, DREWVIANS
gellaho
hola
What a weird thing to say about your missing friend, Nancy
Gentleman Brendan
I remember this period in history and THE RAZOR'S EDGE is a really futuristic name for a time when everyone's dancing move was just lean/squat from side to side then pop your shoulders up.
Speaking of, Charity Freeborn and Etienne Girard sound like they're popping in from your Gaspunk spec-fic.
Where is the Shark? I was promised a very fancy shark.
gellaho
He's on vacation
Gentleman Brendan
Why is there no emoji for HARLOT?
Gentleman Brendan
Teens smoking heroin on the dance floor again.
gellaho
In order to find Bess, Nancy and her crew go to an Underground Dance Party. Somehow happening in the amusement park after without anyone noticing
Gentleman Brendan
Olive-skinned? This swarthy foreigner just moved to the top of Nancy's suspects list!
gellaho
A wealthy goth teen? Now I've heard everything
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
You can't call them urchins anymore, Nancy. Jesus.
gellaho
Gaetan is your Ice, this evening
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
Gentleman Brendan
A right tatterdemelion, she is!
gellaho
Carousel knife fight!
Gentleman Brendan
Gaetan Orakuma and Etienne Grand? I misspoke, this is a Lupin III case.
gellaho
Short knife fight
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I remember this scene from the cover
gellaho
There's your moment, @che jakesy, sports revolutionary
gellaho
Let me list all the things I know about Angola:
OK, done.
gellaho
Classic Angolan-French collaboration
gellaho
Did Bess get turned into a cat?
Gentleman Brendan
Nancy using all her aerobics skills to put Corporate Anne Hathaway in her place.
gellaho
Didn't think we'd be getting chloroform. But here we are
Gentleman Brendan
Seems like a weird play at the best place in town to score GHB, but what do I know? I'm not a monster.
gellaho
I guess you could call that green
gellaho
LyraV
that classic eagle color
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
Nancy's one shining moment
Hahaha this cover was very expository
gellaho
Nancy is visited by an 80s slasher
Gentleman Brendan
That tattoo is baller.
Anyway, the culprit is an ex-military dude.
Prowling outside Nancy Drew's window? Great way to get yourself shot by the Hardy Boys.
gellaho
Gotta get on the princess phone
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
Nancy did 9/11, confirmed
gellaho
Tom Kragen: Quarry Nerd
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
I hate to do back to backs but
gellaho
Lied to his parents that he's dating Bess.
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
gellaho
Sure, the classic dark room at the quarry
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
Perv time
gellaho
I am dubious that you could see a blush in a room entirely lit by red
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
Ha yes the darkroom beakers
Classic setup
gellaho
Who would have guessed this is how the quarry adventure would end
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I feel like Nancy has enough experience with quarries to expect this.
gellaho
Couldn't avoid the deadly pebbles
Greg
In Hardy Boys it would be "Joe Hardy looked up to see a massive Boulder crash down on top of him"
And then open next chapter with "Joe used karate to dodge"
gellaho
The Nancy Drew Files pattern is to end every chapter with an exclamation point
Regardless of scenario
I have been disappointed by the snacking so far, but I love the sandwich rescue team
gellaho
This Halloween non sequitur better be relevant
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
And frolic in the pumpkin patch
gellaho
The Etienne-Gaetan-Charity triangle has killed many a sailor
Gentleman Brendan
You've just never met anyone as white as Nancy Drew, sir.
Or her entire town, I guess is my point.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
The Etienne-Gaetan-Charity triangle sounds like a political alliance that involves Prussia
gellaho
Tell the children about the rippling muscles, ghostwriter
Gentleman Brendan
But who had dislodged the boulder? And why was he foreign?
LyraV
Well fuck you too Lonnie
gellaho
RIP Frenchie
gellaho
Nancy "Bones" Drew
gellaho
Make sure you let the kids think that ether is yummy, ghostwriter
Greg
Ether does not smell like dough
(I work with solvents)
gellaho
Suspicious
The ghostwriter has made the odd decision to not give any of the cops first names
Gentleman Brendan
After a moment, Etienne lifted his head. "Alors, quell embarassment, Nancy...as you no doubt know, ze French, we 'ave a great affection for...qu'est-ce que le mot...asphyxiation erotique."
Gentleman Brendan
In Project Order they have no names.
gellaho
Really just pulling out the laziest writing for #100
Gentleman Brendan
"hi, etienne, this is your business partner, Gaetan. I'll be coming over there in 11 minutes at...4:53 p.m. Do me a favor and leave the door unlocked?"
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I wonder how hack writers moved their plots forward before answering machines were invented.
gellaho
This couldn't possibly be a clue
Greg
I don't have the Nancy Drew vibe down enough to tell if the writing is this bad or slightly less bad and this is a red herring
gellaho
Good call
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Nancy's detective skill aren't as impressive when criminals are this dumb.
gellaho
The writing in this one is very dry
Question Mark: The Paragraph
Gentleman Brendan
scribble a pencil over a notepad.
Gentleman Brendan
I am a hack and I know how to catch a hack.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
No lie, the other joke I was trying to make was wondering if they'd do that.
gellaho
Ah, they're still on Earth. Good to know
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
Sun was hanging dong
Gentleman Brendan
If we went to another planet, the sun is probably how we'd decide west.
gellaho
Oh, they're eating. Thank God
Gentleman Brendan
...are there even planets with opposite rotation?
gellaho
Not in this solar system, but they could spin the opposite direction elsewhere I assume
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I think either neptune or uranus spins at a 90 degree angle to the other planets in the solar system.
gellaho
Hmmmmmmm
LyraV
Uranus
gellaho
No, that's a freedom-loving bald eagle
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
phoenixes aren't generally green.
gellaho
Also: no fire
Jesus, Bess
LyraV
How dare you feel empathy Bess.
gellaho
Quarry Round 2: Night Edition
Greg
Solid Snake over here nice work Nancy
gellaho
Nancy goes completely feral
Greg
This is how I play MGS
Give it a minute and the alarms reset
gellaho
Anti-climax achieved
Gentleman Brendan
The fire is in your DANCE MOVES.
Gentleman Brendan
I love how often Nancy Drew is PG Veronica Mars.
gellaho
Offscreen: Gaetan runs from the police
LyraV
Nice of the police to just let these civilians know what's up.
gellaho
At least the hemlock makes it kind of goth
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I thought answering the door was the butler's job.
gellaho
They are very progressive
Cream blazers
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
his blazer is a sweater?
gellaho
They leave without getting any information, so that's fun
I'm assuming "black baggies" means he was wearing garbage bags
gellaho
Always start your marriage proposals with a murder threat
gellaho
Nancy gives out her dad's information to this broke DJ
gellaho
I'm pretty sure he's not an immigration lawyer, but sure
Then Gaetan gets immediately arrested, how wacky
LyraV
I feel sure I'm pronouncing all these names incorrectly.
gellaho
Oh, most definitely
At least she's getting fed now
gellaho
What a coincidence
gellaho
Nancy is threatened by a caveman
Gentleman Brendan
I dig the "Get a load of these Reagan Republicans and their wannabe goth punk daughter" angle.
Gentleman Brendan
Baggy jeans were YUUUUGE
This might be YA's first documented JNCO
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I had a pair of black jncos in high school.
Gentleman Brendan
The JNCOs take one step for every two you do.
gellaho
Did you call them baggies? I feel like I've only people call the things you pick up dog shit with that
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
baggies are for sandwiches and dogshit
or maybe fruit snacks
Gentleman Brendan
Bullshit, that girl plainly wants a $50 city hall certification. It would make Daddy soooooo angry.
Gentleman Brendan
I did not, but I was lucky enough to live someplace I didn't have occasion.
Style is forever, fashion is for fuckwits.
you live somewhere unhip enough and you're insulated from most of the latter.
gellaho
I'll take your word for it. I dress for comfort
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
calling them baggies sounds like a term limited to a very specific location
like how hoodies are only called bunnyhugs in Winnipeg.
gellaho
I don't believe for a second Nancy Drew hasn't worn roller skates
gellaho
I guarantee there's a roller rink book in the 99 books before this
Tom Kragen weeb confirmed
Gentleman Brendan
Don't we all now?
I have suits just languishing like I'll ever be in a crowded room again.
gellaho
Gasp, not the business owner!
gellaho
Could it be... the insurance money?
Gentleman Brendan
That club is going up in flames, folks.
gellaho
Nancy first though
Gentleman Brendan
Great White is coming to town.
gellaho
Well, steam
But still. Hot
Gentleman Brendan
Did Nancy drew baffle and dodge a jetstream?
gellaho
There's the Hardy Boys "wait, I lied" resolution
Gentleman Brendan
Steamboat engineers used to carry a broom handle for steam.
gellaho
This is a bold strategy, Tom
Gentleman Brendan
High-pressure steam doesn't condense visibly, so you'd hear a hiss and wave the handle around
gellaho
They used a dirty rag
Gentleman Brendan
when the end fell off like a goddamn samurai film, you found your leak.
gellaho
That was around for... reasons
Gentleman Brendan
How dare you describe Nancy as such.
gellaho
And I guess Ned died before this book, because he is nowhere
Seemingly replaced by George, Bess's female cousin
Gentleman Brendan
I like to interpret all these books for what they really mean. Tom's telling everybody sordid sexual details that never happened.
gellaho
I specify female, because I've never heard of a lady George outside of George Foreman's kids
Gentleman Brendan
Gorgeous Georgeous.
gellaho
Nancy's crew heroically hide in a closet for several hours
gellaho
IT FINALLY HAPPENED
gellaho
@che jakesy, sports revolutionary the dream has been achieved
@FancyShark also
Just in case the text wasn't obvious enough
Gentleman Brendan
Two hours is a reasonable timing, George.
gellaho
Gotta get knocked out at least once
gellaho
Nancy is suffering from short term memory loss
gellaho
In case you were wondering, Bess was kidnapped for literally no reason
Gentleman Brendan
We had to kill Etienne to cover up that he had successfully dissuaded us from killing you.
He says otherwise, but he never tried to kill Bess after that.
gellaho
Busting out all the clichés for #100
gellaho
Well, at least there was an explosion
gellaho
I'm not sure how the water created a fireball. But it's something
Still respecting the Dumpster branding
gellaho
Phone-jitsu
gellaho
gellaho
@che jakesy, sports revolutionary Serial Insurance Fraud
Gentleman Brendan
Christian teens will do ANYTHING to stay technically within boundaries.
gellaho
Convenient how everything just works out
gellaho
Nothing matters, yay!
gellaho
What a nothing ending
Gentleman Brendan
Man, I should be writing Nancy Drew books.
If the government wrongfully accuses you they have to give you citizenship, that's in the Bible Constitution.
gellaho
Well, we survived The Nancy Drew Files ™️ #100: Dance Till You Die I guess
gellaho
Hardy Boys Casefiles #100 was better
Gentleman Brendan
The funniest part was knowing 30% of it took place to Snap's "Rhythm Is a Dancer."
LyraV
Argh I had to dip out I cant wait to read what I missed!
gellaho
You think you'd do a little something more for the 100th. Maybe something involving Nancy Drew's actual life, not just three random 20 year olds from a dance club
That's an extra short edition of The Book Cage.
gellaho
May you all have successful insurance fraud schemes
Gentleman Brendan
Gellaho, you are a scholar, and a scholar.
gellaho
Gracias
Greg
Thanks, @gellaho
We need @FancyShark back I could only keep up with his emotes for 40 minutes
Gentleman Brendan
I have no idea how he fires those out.
It's a gift.
Dolphin cop Thrillho
Where is @FancyShark anyway?
gellaho
Vegas
I won't give anything away, but the next Psi-Man has some wonderful surprises
Gentleman Brendan
Oh good. We could use some Psi-Man.
gellaho
Well, you have to wait for summer
Gentleman Brendan
I treasure these evenings, @gellaho.
gellaho
I appreciate that
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
This is what I like to see
che jakesy, sports revolutionary
I'm so upset I was stuck in traffic for the big reveal
