Based solely on the back, I'm guessing someone saw Robocop and didn't understand it
Science God Q Alchemy
"What if robocop but also death wish"
gellaho
You know, sometimes great art isn't appreciated in its own time
sensitive New Age jakesy
The ultimate cop eh
Dr Skin, the dandy
I was going to say post an excerpt. You beautiful human
His clothes look like carpet underlay
Science God Q Alchemy
Wow, that's some dynamite writing
gellaho
3 pages in, and that outfit is accurate
Science God Q Alchemy
Most works of fiction would spend maybe more than a half a second to contemplating the philosophical ramifications of this situation
gellaho
The clothes look like that because it's basically an electric blanket
Dr Skin, the dandy
Steele said "How the hell can be human with a computer for brain?with metal parts and plastic skin?"
"Your not human," Higgins said, "You shouldn't even be speaking! Why is my Dean Martin pyjama real doll speaking back to me?" He asked, reaching for the cattle prod.
gellaho
Also: Missle Backpack
Science God Q Alchemy
Worked wonders for boba fett
gellaho
This is how police trainees dress
Science God Q Alchemy
Steele is the ultimate cop, a descriptor that will definitely not stop being cool ever
gellaho
Also get a description of the World Trade Center
Science God Q Alchemy
"let's give the trainees rocket backpacks" a man who definitely did not end up regretting that idea
Science God Q Alchemy
What year does it take place?
gellaho
In this universe one of the towers is still standing, whoops
The Bloodsucker Proxy
Nobody can panic and empty a clip into an unarmed black teenager like Steele can
gellaho
Don't know yet
Science God Q Alchemy
But It is the future
gellaho
I'm assuming, most of New York has been destroyed
Dr Skin, the dandy
He's overburdened with weapons, to the point he would fall over and die in a puddle.
He can be overcome by a damp meadow.
Science God Q Alchemy
"I bet in the future New York will be blown up but the world trade center will still exists"
Dr Skin, the dandy
All of these people can be immobilised by a large magnet
Or a narrow staircase
Science God Q Alchemy
I mean, how's the author going to compensate for his feelings of inadequacy without giving the hero tons of guns
Also of course he's equipped with a .44 magnum
Of course
gellaho
By the way, Steele is the instructor for these trainees. And he's a huge dick
Dr Skin, the dandy
@gellaho
Is there an audiobook, if there isn't do you think they will let you read for it?
Science God Q Alchemy
I think Steven seagal would be perfect to do the audiobook
gellaho
You ready for two yikes?
The Bloodsucker Proxy
wonderful
gellaho
That virus killed billions
Then there was a nuclear holocaust
The Bloodsucker Proxy
why would anyone make a virus like that?
Dr Skin, the dandy
The Chingos and the Green Dragons running together!
This means war when the Mick and Paddy coalition find out!
We better head over to the Bolognese Ciabatta club.
(what year did this come out?)
gellaho
1989
Also, zombies
The Bloodsucker Proxy
can't have post apoc without zombies
gellaho
He just couldn't decide on a post apocalypse
AdomicBomb
What was the fifth mutation? This virus is all over the place.
Dr Skin, the dandy
The fourth mutation caused Parkinson's?
gellaho
AdomicBomb
Huh. Parkinson's then turns to pneumonia. Got it.
gellaho
I don't want to post the whole book, but I'll share Steele's gritty backstory
gellaho
sensitive New Age jakesy
The first Gritty Pre-boot
Like I know there will be a huge amount of major plot holes here, but any virus deadly enough to kill in seconds would not be able to spread worldwide in a matter of hours or days or whatever
Science God Q Alchemy
This book has so much going on, four different apocalypses and it's not even about those, it's about a robot dude who fights crime.
sensitive New Age jakesy
Unless the terrorists are like, UPS
Imagine the logistics you would need to distribute that thing worldwide
gellaho
Everyone's dead, everything is destroyed. There are at least 5 major gangs operating parts of New York. But there are still cops and specialists
Science God Q Alchemy
Make Don diebel a carrier, he'll infect half the world in a matter of hours.
gellaho
No functioning government, but cops
sensitive New Age jakesy
The most important service to restore in the apocalypse is not power, or medical services. Definitely cops
gellaho
The angry police chief literally just mentioned "the feds" but DC is a burning crater
Science God Q Alchemy
I mean, the idea that police and military are the most important to maintain order is like, Fascism.
How are their fucking feds?
how is there a government?
gellaho
No, nobody knows what's going on in most of the country
The Robocop program is called "Project Download" by the way
Science God Q Alchemy
Was there a second draft of this book?
sensitive New Age jakesy
The World Wide Web is in, you guys
Science God Q Alchemy
I actually kind of want to try reading this shit now, it sounds insane
sensitive New Age jakesy
The complete lack of understanding how viruses work makes it a little hard to get into the story but I agree it would be an experience
Like “virus turns into completely different type of virus” is 3rd grade essay level stuff here
It would be like the alien who’s currently running our earth simulation deciding that the next strain of COVID causes AIDS
gellaho
So far, second chapter is all about Steele's wife Janice. And how much she hates/wants to fuck him
Science God Q Alchemy
Wow, we are just balls deep in this authors psyche huh?
gellaho
Well, I'm now reading about Steele visiting a priest (Catholic church, still going strong)
So yes
Science God Q Alchemy
I feel like i have an image of the author in my mind
im going to see how accurate it is
Ok so not quite what I thought he'd look like
apparently JD masters is a pseudonym, of a man who legally changed his last name to hawke and has written, just so many star trek novels
Dr Skin, the dandy
He looks like a body builder got old
Science God Q Alchemy
yeah, i imagined an ill fitting suit
Dr Skin, the dandy
He had the head of a History teacher from Liverpool, the torso and arms of a guy working in the shop at O.C Choppers!
He is Steele!
gellaho
The whole second chapter is about the marriage. I'm a quarter of the way through and this dude hasn't died yet
Dr Skin, the dandy
I may have to unironically read these.
Science God Q Alchemy
Given the politics on display in the book Steele, I wouldn't figure him for a star trek guy
Dr Skin, the dandy
The first time he fucks his wife, he fucks her like they had been married for years.
"Yes!" She says to his proposal, as her mind screams "No!"
gellaho
Now it's turned into a matrix thing where CIA (apparently also still exists) scientists are going to download his police skills and upload them to other cops
Dr Skin, the dandy
Where's the author from?
Is he British? The gangs read like someone from a UK village stretching for gritty New York drama voice
gellaho
Not sure when the robot part will happen
Dr Skin, the dandy
Is there a graphic novel?
Science God Q Alchemy
apparently he's from colorado?
Dr Skin, the dandy
Dammit.
The Chingos and the Green Dragons.
I mean the Green Dragons could be the remnants of some sort of Larpers. I googled Chingo and it means nude in Spanish? Is that correct?
A team up between role players and a gang whose USP is they're naked?
Science God Q Alchemy
The worldbuilding makes no sense, it's a post apocalypse but the cia and many of the structures of government still exist as well as police force, but new york is just violent gangs. But like, laws and shit still exist? Like am I just missing context or what?
Dr Skin, the dandy
So, the intelligence services are basically little organic nations. I can see they would look to survive. They know how to maintain structures in a warzone. They would probably love it. They would probably be over the fucking moon
Is there a court system?
Can someone please draw this
gellaho
The population of the world has been dropped below a billion, but there are still a lot of people in New York
Dr Skin, the dandy
How's the Amazon doing :thinking:
gellaho
So this is how the government works
Science God Q Alchemy
I think if we dropped below a billion no structure would be able to function no matter what
gellaho
Except that 3 states are totally dead, Texas has seceded, there's a war in the Midwest (?), and nobody knows what is going on with the west coast
Dr Skin, the dandy
Waging war on "the survivors"
gellaho
I don't know who's at war in the Midwest
Dr Skin, the dandy
This is the greatest book. I miss those old yellowed trash pages.
If I had read this at 13 I would have taken it so seriously.
Science God Q Alchemy
I cannot wrap my head around how any of this functions? Am I dumb?
gellaho
Here's some stupid shit
Science God Q Alchemy
Like the use government is still around sort of? but everything on fire.
Dr Skin, the dandy
They have brought in the unarmed combat champion ( all branches) of the US army.
Science God Q Alchemy
Written by a man who has absolutely been in fights before
Dr Skin, the dandy
Steele is gonna iron Man Vs Captain America his moves
Science God Q Alchemy
To be fair, that cannot be a large pool to choose from anymore
Dr Skin, the dandy
Just him and six guys
It's the golden age of fake Karate
Science God Q Alchemy
like it feels like the author forgets that the world has been reduced to a tenth of it's population, there is no way they bounced back in however many years it's been since the initial virus.
Dr Skin, the dandy
If you haven't got scurvy you are in the top three
gellaho
Time to examine Steele's dick
sensitive New Age jakesy
Hahaha
Is this written by Riker?
Dr Skin, the dandy
"I was wrong, that is a mutilated bratwurst and my stomach is turning, oh my god is that a Balldo?" She asked.
Science God Q Alchemy
"Gotta make sure everyone knows he has a huge dick" - Simon Hawke, genius
Wait, they should as a prank make his dick smaller
Dr Skin, the dandy
What is his next thought please?
Science God Q Alchemy
just a tiny robo chub
Dr Skin, the dandy
At least someone in this damn lab knows to complement a man on his cock, during his RoboCop induction phase.
Wait, his dick is a gun isn't it.
gellaho
Good news, TV is still available
Science God Q Alchemy
"In soviet russia dick shoot you"
Dr Skin, the dandy
What do cyber men with huge dicks watch, after a hard shift slaughtering green dragons?
gellaho
Talk shows
1
Science God Q Alchemy
Your mom?
gellaho
Full page devoted to a fictional ad
Dr Skin, the dandy
I gotta go. @Gellaho you are good man for mining this rich vein of hyper masculinity. Please @ me if post any descriptions of the gang members. I will be disappointed if the Chingos are not Nude Europeans and if the Green Dragons are not medieval role players though.
gellaho
@Dr Skin, the dandy here you go
The Green Dragons are Chinese
1
Dr Skin, the dandy
Oh god I came back into the room my phone was charging to see
sensitive New Age jakesy
Victor Boradini, strong Italian man, gets a nice manly mob name while the Chinese guy is jus “Chang”
Dr Skin, the dandy
I think they didn't even ask 'Chang' his fucking name.(edited)
This is cartoon gold.
Philippe and Chang. Over there Viktor and Akeem.
Then you get "Peacemaker" who is going to get more airtime I hope.
gellaho
Chang is "a young, good looking Asian with a youthful angular face and long, jet-black hair"
That's what you get for him
Phillipe is ignored
sensitive New Age jakesy
“He looks like one-a them Asians”
Dr Skin, the dandy
You know, with kind of an angular youthful face.(edited)
gellaho
At this point, the sexy lady scientist tried to fuck Steele without any build up. And Steele's wife is cheating on him with multiple men(edited)
Dr Skin, the dandy
Isn't it funny the virus killed any person with an expression of individuality. Leaving weird ethnic gangsters.
Science God Q Alchemy
Holy shit
gellaho
I'm halfway through, still waiting for the plot to start
@gellaho
I'm halfway through, still waiting for the plot to start
Dr Skin, the dandy
We must fund the purchase of the entire series. There is nothing else now in my life.
I want to draw "Chang"
Science God Q Alchemy
Well, look man they have to get the worldbuilding done, how are we gonna take this cyborg action series seriously if we don't first learn that his wife's a whore.
also the evolving pokevirus
Dr Skin, the dandy
I imagine he's wearing silk.
He has a ponytail
He is resentful nobody asked him name, which is Stephen.
As it happens it is Stephen Chang. That's not the point.
sensitive New Age jakesy
And like all lady doctors, she couldn’t resist dipping that pen in the company ink
gellaho
Jesus
Dr Skin, the dandy
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MOTHERFUCKER
That you John Coffee?
Science God Q Alchemy
"He said 'hold right there' but in the way black people say things" - Simon Hawke, genius
1
Dr Skin, the dandy
JUST WATCH OUT FOR ALL THESE BURNT TORN UP MATTRESSES, WE TOO FUCKING STUPID TO SLEEP ON. YOU KNOW THESE THINGS ARE FUCKING EVERYWHERE DOG.
sensitive New Age jakesy
The uhhhh not being able to see him in the dark because he’s so black thing is a little sus id say
Dr Skin, the dandy
Even with predator vision.
Science God Q Alchemy
Is steele a robot yet?
also let's talk about how lucky the robot guy is to be named steele
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
yeah, nobody tells the story of Jacob R. Fleshboy, the cyborg
1
sensitive New Age jakesy
It’s like how every town where the resistance is based is somehow already named Sanctuary
Just crazy coincidence
gellaho
He just got shot to shit, exploded, and then a building fell on him
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
there is a Blaseball player named Oliver Notarobot, who is the reverse
gellaho
So I'd say it'd be robot time
sensitive New Age jakesy
Was it Chang? Tell me it was Chang
Chang deserves revenge
gellaho
That's the mystery
Ferroday, ScapeApe
"a voice that was unmistakably black" has big Wakka energy
Science God Q Alchemy
He couldn't see the assailant, because he was black and it was dark
Dr Skin, the dandy
I know by the naming conventions Peacemaker is an antagonist the author was working on, he will get a cameo.
Science God Q Alchemy
So how far would this story have to tip to become straight up fascist? Like I don't think it's there yet but it's closer than maybe you'd want it be.(edited)
Dr Skin, the dandy
"How's it been Ice?"
"OH YOU KNOW, JUST CANT MAKE UP MY MIND ABOUT WHETHER I SHOULD BE BURNING OR TEARING UP THESE MATTRESSES, HERE IN THE DARK. I EVER TELL YOU WHY THEY CALL ME ICE? THEY DON'T"
gellaho
RoboSteele
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
what a tantalizing glimpse of a Ship of Theseus/Axe of my Grandfather problem that will probably be glossed over after he has his deus ex i never asked for this moment
Dr Skin, the dandy
Your brain will be as obsolete as an amstrad in about 18 months. Good luck.
@Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
what a tantalizing glimpse of a Ship of Theseus/Axe of my Grandfather problem that will probably be glossed over after he has his deus ex i never asked for this moment
Science God Q Alchemy
According to the cover blurb they spend like, a sentence on it before he threatens to rip a dudes lungs out
God, what is the process of upgrading your brain to the newer model?
gellaho
"Electronic sedative"
Ferroday, ScapeApe
a cyberpunk story written by someone that understands neither computers nor human biology
Science God Q Alchemy
I mean, is he still the same man?
gellaho
Good news, ladies!
Also some religious philosophy after the dick talk
Science God Q Alchemy
they couldn't save his brain, but they did save his dick
priorities i guess
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
"Your soul was in the grundle, bud, so you're good!"
Science God Q Alchemy
also are we defining humanity based on reproductive ability? Is that what that passage is saying?
Dr Skin, the dandy
Hey readers, in case your wondering he still has a dick. Back to the story.
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
i mean i was waiting for the fuckest shit, gender essentialism/BIOTRUTHS comes as none surprise
Ferroday, ScapeApe
"what about my soul" asked so casually
Dr Skin, the dandy
Catholism isn't clear about the exact location of the soul, so you know. It could be eeerrrrrmmmmm there ( touches elbow)
Ferroday, ScapeApe
glossing over the big transhumanist questions with "who cares, you still have a penis"
@Science God Q Alchemy
also are we defining humanity based on reproductive ability? Is that what that passage is saying?
gellaho
There's some more "but what is the soul, really?" talk on the next page
@Ferroday, ScapeApe
glossing over the big transhumanist questions with "who cares, you still have a penis"
Dr Skin, the dandy
Chekovs penis(edited)
gellaho
But talking about the dick first makes it somewhat irrelevant
Science God Q Alchemy
"If you introduce a massive penis in the first act, it must go off in the third act" - Anton Chekhov
Dr Skin, the dandy
Such weird male insecurity.
I will let you leave me my flaccid flabby man flesh and just give me a super penis, thanks.
Ferroday, ScapeApe
maybe it's just me, but if I was getting a nigh-immortal robot body I really wouldn't give a shit if I still had genitalia
gellaho
He has a nuclear powered heart!
"A miniature fusion generator"
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
BIOTRUTHS
Dr Skin,ndy
Brain, take it.
Skin/ face, take it.
Penis, whoah. This kings sceptre, the seat of the soul. These four inches of Albion? NO. Way.
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
i mean i think it's important to have something that makes you feel like a person, whether that's taste ealistic skin, the junk, or whatever
Ferroday, ScapeApe
as long as I still have access to the basic senses to interact with the world around me I do not care if I'm classified as human anymore
gellaho
I don't know what this book is about
Ferroday, ScapeApe
at least, biologicallly
like, just put my brain in a robot suit and leave me be
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
if you can think and reason and shit you're still human
body is a fuck
real gnostic hours
Dr Skin, the dandy
I dunno guys. I think the digestive system has a lot of play. All the irrational stuff is important.
@Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
if you can think and reason and shit you're still human
Ferroday, ScapeApe
exactly, the rest of your flesh is irrelevant
PRAISE THE OMNISSIAH
gellaho
I said "fuck off" out loud after reading this
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
but everyone has a different way of feeling like a person
maybe you need to eat to feelr eal
maybe you need to bone
maybe you just need to read
there's different needs
Ferroday, ScapeApe
"wondered if a cyborg was capable of tears"
"he wasn't
GOOD
Dr Skin, the dandy
His eyes are going to go all gross and dry.
The author is an idiot
The Bloodsucker Proxy
"At least I'm still too manly to cry"
Science God Q Alchemy
Im a materialist, so I don't believe separating mind from body is possible.
Ferroday, ScapeApe
he weeps from his penis now
Science God Q Alchemy
He has the clap?
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
the body influences the mind, but i'm no materialist
gellaho
He's working out now for some reason
Dr Skin, the dandy
"My dick is still here too, Susan's gone. Probably won't be back for a few minutes" Steele thought to himself.
Science God Q Alchemy
And that's the story of how he lost his dick and had to get a robot version
don't jerk off with your uncalibrated robot hands
sensitive New Age jakesy
Too tough to cry, too flabby to forget leg day
Dr Skin, the dandy
He peeled back the latex nyskin to expose his terminator arm.
Determinedly and without crying (for the first time in years) he began to masturbate while he focused on revenge fantasies against his wife. Who is, for some reason only in the story to be utterly deplorable.
gellaho
I think he forgot that this is post apocalyptic
Science God Q Alchemy
he keeps doing that
Dr Skin, the dandy
What the fucking fuck is the issue with the wife?
sensitive New Age jakesy
Lol at legal proceedings and apocalypse landlords
Like look guys NY is ruled by roaming gangs but you’re 3 months late on rent and the bank is about to foreclose on me
How am I going to save up for my daughter to attend Fordham at this rate?
Science God Q Alchemy
JUST:clap: KILL:clap: HIM :clap: WITH:clap: YOUR:clap: HANDS
Dr Skin, the dandy
"Your cowbag of a wife called, she's told the kids you died sucking Chang's cock and it's Robbie's birthday. It's best if you don't focus on correcting your relationship with your children and just store up the rage for later"
The Bloodsucker Proxy
"And then they got an eviction notice and -wait, shit, the world ended. God, what is in these pills? How long have I been awake?"
Science God Q Alchemy
I mean, his legal status is nebulous, so he can't be tried for murder right?
also everyone died of a virus so like, who gives a shit?
sensitive New Age jakesy
On top of all this, I gotta take the LIRR at rush hour!?
Dr Skin, the dandy
Who granted a restraining order against a deadman who's been ressurected as a Robocop
sensitive New Age jakesy
Oh wait, apocalypse. Right. The LIRR is just a tunnel now. A gang tunnel
Dr Skin, the dandy
Why would he pay a blind bit of notice. This all screams messy divorce for the author.
Science God Q Alchemy
Are you saying this man has had trouble with women?
gellaho
Where Robocop shot a rapist in the dick, Steele... arrests a mugger
Science God Q Alchemy
Wait, a mugger? can you imagine living in the end times and fucking mugging someone?
sensitive New Age jakesy
Also, he’s a cyborg cop. What’s going to happen if he breaks the law? Is there a super cyborg cop to arrest him and take him to mega jail?
Science God Q Alchemy
"Steele has qualified immunity, the qualification is that he's too strong and no one can stop him"
"We may have made a terrible mistake"
sensitive New Age jakesy
Nobody survives UltraRikers
gellaho
He just fucked the lady scientist
Ferroday, ScapeApe
of course he did
Science God Q Alchemy
With his gross human dong
sensitive New Age jakesy
Any of these New York references landing?
Ferroday, ScapeApe
"I- I mean, my character is a badass cyborg that doesn't need to cry and has super duper cyborg powers and has a really big dick and bangs all the chicks and he doesn't even NEED you Sharon."
gellaho
No
Science God Q Alchemy
Yeah, let's actually talk more about Steele is incapable of crying
that's hilarious
sensitive New Age jakesy
Oh wait! He’s Tappan Zee lady scientist!
Science God Q Alchemy
Like, can you imagine the level of insecurity?
imagine being that guy
Dr Skin, the dandy
The author has apparently attempted a set of humourous murder mysteries, with William Shakespeare as a detective.
I'm not going to lie, I'm interested
The Bloodsucker Proxy
as an elevator pitch, that kinda rules
Science God Q Alchemy
I mean, they can't be worse can they?
Dr Skin, the dandy
This clearly isn't the man to write it, but that is NETFLIX material
Ferroday, ScapeApe
what's this guy's name again?
Science God Q Alchemy
Simon Hawke, writing as Jd masters
he changed his name to hawke, legally
which will never stop being funny to me.
Dr Skin, the dandy
All the Shakespeare's murder mysteries would have to feature thinly disguised characters from Shakespeare's creations.
Oh my GOD HE'S A GENIUS.
Macbeth with Shakespeare as Poirot?
gellaho
Cover continues to be on point, here comes the laser eyes
Ferroday, ScapeApe
OH MY GOD IT'S A SERIES?!
The Bloodsucker Proxy
honestly, if you handed that idea to, let's say Taika Waititi, I could see it working
and then there was the porn parody, Hard as Steele
sensitive New Age jakesy
Oh no he just has a spare hand. It ain’t missing
gellaho
It would have to be a series, I'm almost done with this book and they've been in the lab for 75% of it
Dr Skin, the dandy
Bandolier jetpack straps
Non dextrous stabbing hand
Ferroday, ScapeApe
the cover for the first book he just looks like someone drew over a ghostbuster
Science God Q Alchemy
The entire Steele series is like, a desperate cry for help from a dude having a lot of problems with his masculinity
God, I remember dunking on these covers. I secretly worried they might not be that bad, but here we are.
Dr Skin, the dandy
His eyes glow red as he sees red, red dots appear on his target's heads
Science God Q Alchemy
so we have found the point the editor just gave up
Dr Skin, the dandy
These were written in an age where books needed publishers right?
gellaho
Here's the classic, stop or I'll kill the kid scene
Laser eyes, of course
Dr Skin, the dandy
This is the most ineffective use of government money.
He would not be deployed in this fashion.
gellaho
This feels like it was written by a computer
Science God Q Alchemy
I mean, the entire oversight committee died of virus an unspecified amount of time ago
The Bloodsucker Proxy
there's this reviewer called Yahtzee who once said that no amount of super soldiers is going to be more effective in combat than a good bomb
gellaho
Like, why did the gang member just decide to pull out a knife
Dr Skin, the dandy
You notice in the justified violence fantasy, it's not required that you immediately check on the victim
Who is only there as a sort of provocation
Dr Skin, the dandy
Was there a butterfly knife moral panic in the 80's?
Science God Q Alchemy
Dude who doesn't take a child hostage gets shot in the head, but he disarms and incapacitates the dude holding the child hostage.
Also "snikked out his knife"
The Bloodsucker Proxy
there was a moral panic about everything in the 80's
gellaho
He was dropped off at the Green Dragons' territory. I don't know why, but I only have twenty pages left
Dr Skin, the dandy
With crushed shoulders.
Which has gotta make you walk funny when you're mad.
gellaho
He's now explaining what he is to a news reporter. This is about the fifth time it's been explained
sensitive New Age jakesy
Also Victor Borodini, who will fucking kill you if you shorten his name in any way, is now the boss of all the gangs?
Dr Skin, the dandy
The victim, meanwhile is dying in a puddle of blood, because some psychopath shot a gun that was against her hair with another gun. Then presumably fucked off.
gellaho
Yes
Dr Skin, the dandy
I feel like Borodino is a syllable soup noone checked.
gellaho
That happened while Steele was being turned into a robot
Science God Q Alchemy
"eh, sounds italian" - Simon Hawke, genius
Dr Skin, the dandy
How's Peacemaker? I feel like I put a lot of chips on Peacemaker.
gellaho
The government also decided to share this classified information with Steele's priest
sensitive New Age jakesy
Yeah did someone snikk a knife on Peacemaker early on?
AdomicBomb
I just caught up and I appreciate this call back.
Science God Q Alchemy
Im pretty sure this story will continue well into the series.
gellaho
Peacemaker hasn't been anywhere since he was introduced
Dr Skin, the dandy
If he has just dropped Peacemaker in as a cool handle, and moved on with Phillipe, Chang and Victor I will only be reviewing this 11.5/10 stars.
gellaho
They are also absent
Dr Skin, the dandy
At this point I just took a minute to make a note in my gratitude journal.
"At least he isn't going to Harlem in blackface"
AdomicBomb
Well yeah, you can't waste all the good story arcs right off the bat.
sensitive New Age jakesy
125th street? Isn’t that closer to Spanish Harlem? Unless my NY references are dated I don’t think his white face comment is as relevant as he thinks it is
AdomicBomb
You need a slow burn.
Science God Q Alchemy
We were talking about artists showing their ass, and I think this book is Hawke showing his entire ass.
Dr Skin, the dandy
The virus has killed the entire white population except law enforcement, sexy doctors and vindictive ex wives.
Everyone else is a Cholo, a triad or Vincent Bogalov
gellaho
Did somebody say underaged prostitute written phonetically?
Dr Skin, the dandy
A girl who couldn't have been a day over 16 but looked at least 20.
Science God Q Alchemy
Yeah, the editor stopped caring a long time ago
Dr Skin, the dandy
That is unforgivable.
Please try sticking your tongue in your cheek then saying "Whatchou be wantin with him"
AdomicBomb
Lmao
Dr Skin, the dandy
Did you sound a prostitute in a time conundrum
Science God Q Alchemy
@gellaho does the detachable hand show up in this book?
does the gun hand?
gellaho
No
This book is just like a setup for the rest of the series
Looks like he's going to have a black partner in the next one
sensitive New Age jakesy
Or a Black nemesis
gellaho
Ice was the leader of the Skulls (i.e. black) gang, so I think they'll be working together to bring them down
Dr Skin, the dandy
Whose powerful thigh muscles bulge against his trousers. Ahem
sensitive New Age jakesy
Lady Scientist has entered the chat
gellaho
So a couple of notes about the rest of the "plot"
1) After Steele goes down to Harlem, he finds Akeem and kills a bunch of skulls
2) Reporters show up. Steele decides to leave. Turns out some guy in the police is tipping off the media about where Steele is
Dr Skin, the dandy
Can you have a trim, muscular waist? In trousers?
gellaho
3) Bad news about lady scientist, she gets murdered by a helicopter minigun
Dr Skin, the dandy
This is long form Malibu comics.
Science God Q Alchemy
I bet they don't turn her into a robot, They need that tech for cops, can't waist it on what has to be one of 12 scientists who still exist
sensitive New Age jakesy
How are we supposed to know how virile the new muscle guy is if he can’t bang the scientists
gellaho
4) Nothing is resolved, Steele gets fucked up by the minigun. They are going to upgrade him
The End
Dr Skin, the dandy
Into the rage motivation tank. That bitch who experimented on me then fucked me while I was arguably vulnerable.
Science God Q Alchemy
i think he keeps forgetting about the plot point that there's only ten percent of the population left
Dr Skin, the dandy
9.7 by then end of the series
Science God Q Alchemy
"I'll make my first book a meandering prologue with no real structure or climax and then end with a cliffhanger" - Simon Hawk, Genius
Dr Skin, the dandy
Why are all these assholes lurking in New York without any agricultural infrastructure?
gellaho
Here's a weird thing. Right after he fucks the lady scientist (Susan, FYI) he has weird memories of a different life
This isn't paid off, and is arguably the only bit of intrigue to be found in the book
Science God Q Alchemy
The super mega apocalypse weighs on my mind, and makes it hard to take this whole plot seriously.
Dr Skin, the dandy
He was just dribbling meandering plot considerations into the page and never went back to correct.
Half assed implanted memory idea, unexplored left in.
Science God Q Alchemy
I repeat my question, was there a second draft?
gellaho
Surprsingly, I didn't see any typos
But I did read the whole thing in a couple of hours
Dr Skin, the dandy
It was a trick, his proofreaders were so mad he was guaranteed they wanted more. For closure.
He's going to win back his ex wife with his flesh cock.
gellaho
Looks like he gets the secondary hand in the next one
Dr Skin, the dandy
Fuck you minigun hand!
It would be so much easier to just have a versatile gun, in a functioning hand.
sensitive New Age jakesy
Where does the ammo come from?
Dr Skin, the dandy
His posture is very "Cat disturbed taking a shit"
The artist has done great work on the tunic sleeves though.
I mean they have real 'weight'
Science God Q Alchemy
Sticks it in his arm, like upgrade
Dr Skin, the dandy
Hisssssss!
@gellaho
This isn't paid off, and is arguably the only bit of intrigue to be found in the book
sensitive New Age jakesy
Wait, is Johnny Silverhand slowly overwriting his memories?
gellaho
Well, Cold Steele and Killer Steele are on their way
Science God Q Alchemy
unfortunately he did not put that effort into the face
sensitive New Age jakesy
Cyberpuuuuuuuuuuunk!
gellaho
Can't wait to find out about this scary mannequin
I hope everyone enjoyed my live reading of STEELE
Science God Q Alchemy
He is fucking terrified
Can't wait for the next one
gellaho
I should probably eat something
sensitive New Age jakesy
Yeah this was electrifying
Dr Skin, the dandy
@gellaho
Bless you. It's 1:30 am where I am. I was riveted.
1
gellaho
I also have the Hardy Boys "Bad Rap" coming in, so that should be a hoot
Science God Q Alchemy
excellent
Dr Skin, the dandy
This is the zenith of book threadism.
Live reading of awful books. This was a Meat Party level event.
sensitive New Age jakesy
Should we form a Bad Book Club?
Take turns buying and live reading awful 150 pagers
Meera Leester needs to be added to the list
Get one of them beekeeping shits on here
Ferroday, ScapeApe
I can't do that
I physcially cannot will myself to sit through a bad book
Science God Q Alchemy
Yeah, I have trouble with that too
sensitive New Age jakesy
I mean I’m perfectly fine letting @gellaho be a hero here but I also don’t want him to carry this burden alone
gellaho
I have the secret techniques. I just need to upload them from my cybernetic implant
That technology was called psychocybernetics by the way. I don't know if I shared that
Science God Q Alchemy
Psychocybernetics is a GREAT name for a band
Alpha Scientist Javo
@Brockway pin the start of the live read as a bookmark plz. I need to catch up
AdomicBomb
@gellaho thanks for powering through that. It was a blasty blast.
1
gellaho
That was a thing. Thanks for following along. Time for bed
gellaho
I should have done this yesterday, but I wanted to thank @Fatamatician for posting that first Steele cover
