1: Steele J.D. Masters (Simon Hawke)

Dr Skin, the dandy

With crushed shoulders.

Which has gotta make you walk funny when you're mad.

gellaho

He's now explaining what he is to a news reporter. This is about the fifth time it's been explained

sensitive New Age jakesy

Also Victor Borodini, who will fucking kill you if you shorten his name in any way, is now the boss of all the gangs?

Dr Skin, the dandy

The victim, meanwhile is dying in a puddle of blood, because some psychopath shot a gun that was against her hair with another gun. Then presumably fucked off.

gellaho

Yes

Dr Skin, the dandy

I feel like Borodino is a syllable soup noone checked.

gellaho

That happened while Steele was being turned into a robot

Science God Q Alchemy

"eh, sounds italian" - Simon Hawke, genius

Dr Skin, the dandy

How's Peacemaker? I feel like I put a lot of chips on Peacemaker.

gellaho

The government also decided to share this classified information with Steele's priest

sensitive New Age jakesy

Yeah did someone snikk a knife on Peacemaker early on?

AdomicBomb

I just caught up and I appreciate this call back.

Science God Q Alchemy

Im pretty sure this story will continue well into the series.

gellaho

Peacemaker hasn't been anywhere since he was introduced

Dr Skin, the dandy

If he has just dropped Peacemaker in as a cool handle, and moved on with Phillipe, Chang and Victor I will only be reviewing this 11.5/10 stars.

gellaho

They are also absent

Dr Skin, the dandy

At this point I just took a minute to make a note in my gratitude journal.

"At least he isn't going to Harlem in blackface"

AdomicBomb

Well yeah, you can't waste all the good story arcs right off the bat.

sensitive New Age jakesy

125th street? Isn’t that closer to Spanish Harlem? Unless my NY references are dated I don’t think his white face comment is as relevant as he thinks it is

AdomicBomb

You need a slow burn.

Science God Q Alchemy

We were talking about artists showing their ass, and I think this book is Hawke showing his entire ass.

Dr Skin, the dandy

The virus has killed the entire white population except law enforcement, sexy doctors and vindictive ex wives.

Everyone else is a Cholo, a triad or Vincent Bogalov

gellaho

Did somebody say underaged prostitute written phonetically?

Dr Skin, the dandy

A girl who couldn't have been a day over 16 but looked at least 20.

Science God Q Alchemy

Yeah, the editor stopped caring a long time ago

Dr Skin, the dandy

That is unforgivable.

Please try sticking your tongue in your cheek then saying "Whatchou be wantin with him"

AdomicBomb

Lmao

Dr Skin, the dandy

Did you sound a prostitute in a time conundrum

Science God Q Alchemy

@gellaho does the detachable hand show up in this book?

does the gun hand?

gellaho

No

This book is just like a setup for the rest of the series

Looks like he's going to have a black partner in the next one

sensitive New Age jakesy

Or a Black nemesis

gellaho

Ice was the leader of the Skulls (i.e. black) gang, so I think they'll be working together to bring them down

Dr Skin, the dandy

Whose powerful thigh muscles bulge against his trousers. Ahem

sensitive New Age jakesy

Lady Scientist has entered the chat

gellaho

So a couple of notes about the rest of the "plot"

1) After Steele goes down to Harlem, he finds Akeem and kills a bunch of skulls

2) Reporters show up. Steele decides to leave. Turns out some guy in the police is tipping off the media about where Steele is

Dr Skin, the dandy

Can you have a trim, muscular waist? In trousers?

gellaho

3) Bad news about lady scientist, she gets murdered by a helicopter minigun

Dr Skin, the dandy

This is long form Malibu comics.

Science God Q Alchemy

I bet they don't turn her into a robot, They need that tech for cops, can't waist it on what has to be one of 12 scientists who still exist

sensitive New Age jakesy

How are we supposed to know how virile the new muscle guy is if he can’t bang the scientists

gellaho

4) Nothing is resolved, Steele gets fucked up by the minigun. They are going to upgrade him

The End

Dr Skin, the dandy

Into the rage motivation tank. That bitch who experimented on me then fucked me while I was arguably vulnerable.

Science God Q Alchemy

i think he keeps forgetting about the plot point that there's only ten percent of the population left

Dr Skin, the dandy

9.7 by then end of the series

Science God Q Alchemy

"I'll make my first book a meandering prologue with no real structure or climax and then end with a cliffhanger" - Simon Hawk, Genius

Dr Skin, the dandy

Why are all these assholes lurking in New York without any agricultural infrastructure?

gellaho

Here's a weird thing. Right after he fucks the lady scientist (Susan, FYI) he has weird memories of a different life

This isn't paid off, and is arguably the only bit of intrigue to be found in the book

Science God Q Alchemy

The super mega apocalypse weighs on my mind, and makes it hard to take this whole plot seriously.

Dr Skin, the dandy

He was just dribbling meandering plot considerations into the page and never went back to correct.

Half assed implanted memory idea, unexplored left in.

Science God Q Alchemy

I repeat my question, was there a second draft?

gellaho

Surprsingly, I didn't see any typos

But I did read the whole thing in a couple of hours

Dr Skin, the dandy

It was a trick, his proofreaders were so mad he was guaranteed they wanted more. For closure.

He's going to win back his ex wife with his flesh cock.

gellaho

Looks like he gets the secondary hand in the next one

Dr Skin, the dandy

Fuck you minigun hand!

It would be so much easier to just have a versatile gun, in a functioning hand.

sensitive New Age jakesy

Where does the ammo come from?

Dr Skin, the dandy

His posture is very "Cat disturbed taking a shit"

The artist has done great work on the tunic sleeves though.

I mean they have real 'weight'

Science God Q Alchemy

Sticks it in his arm, like upgrade

Dr Skin, the dandy

Hisssssss!

@gellaho

This isn't paid off, and is arguably the only bit of intrigue to be found in the book

sensitive New Age jakesy

Wait, is Johnny Silverhand slowly overwriting his memories?

gellaho

Well, Cold Steele and Killer Steele are on their way

Science God Q Alchemy

unfortunately he did not put that effort into the face

sensitive New Age jakesy

Cyberpuuuuuuuuuuunk!

gellaho

Can't wait to find out about this scary mannequin

I hope everyone enjoyed my live reading of STEELE

Science God Q Alchemy

He is fucking terrified

Can't wait for the next one

gellaho

I should probably eat something

sensitive New Age jakesy

Yeah this was electrifying

Dr Skin, the dandy

@gellaho

Bless you. It's 1:30 am where I am. I was riveted.

1

gellaho

I also have the Hardy Boys "Bad Rap" coming in, so that should be a hoot

Science God Q Alchemy

excellent

Dr Skin, the dandy

This is the zenith of book threadism.

Live reading of awful books. This was a Meat Party level event.

sensitive New Age jakesy

Should we form a Bad Book Club?

Take turns buying and live reading awful 150 pagers

Meera Leester needs to be added to the list

Get one of them beekeeping shits on here

Ferroday, ScapeApe

I can't do that

I physcially cannot will myself to sit through a bad book

Science God Q Alchemy

Yeah, I have trouble with that too

sensitive New Age jakesy

I mean I’m perfectly fine letting @gellaho be a hero here but I also don’t want him to carry this burden alone

gellaho

I have the secret techniques. I just need to upload them from my cybernetic implant

That technology was called psychocybernetics by the way. I don't know if I shared that

Science God Q Alchemy

Psychocybernetics is a GREAT name for a band

Alpha Scientist Javo

@Brockway pin the start of the live read as a bookmark plz. I need to catch up

AdomicBomb

@gellaho thanks for powering through that. It was a blasty blast.

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gellaho

That was a thing. Thanks for following along. Time for bed

gellaho

I should have done this yesterday, but I wanted to thank @Fatamatician for posting that first Steele cover

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