15: High Stakes David Peters

gellaho

Gambler has turned off the planet's force field

Dr Shark

The force field is controlled by a cartoonishly large lever?

JCantrell

You know what this kids laser tag franchise needs? Some holocaust references

GDC

yeah, one of those big old frankensteins switches

gellaho

This doesn't have the cartoonish whiplash of the Holocaust/children's story of the last book

But it's so fucking weird

JCantrell

The darkness grows

If I knew what that meant I'd be scared probably

Dr Shark

Pirarr has a pirate voice, despite not being from Earth and never seeing Treasure Island.

gellaho

He's literally a pirate

He was the one in charge of recruiting Hitler

JCantrell

The tone is a weird mix of dark and insanely silly, like animorphs

Dr Shark

I'll take that over more of Gambler's rhymes.

hype slug jakesy

It’s the perfect book in the age of the Hungry Hungry Pelotons

gellaho

These Arrian ships seem remarkably shitty

JCantrell

I never get rhyming characters in fiction, it's harder to write and while also making them deeply insufferable

Its a lot of effort for no good reason, much like all of creeds discography

gellaho

So I guess he meant to say "projecton" earlier

That sucks

JCantrell

Wait they have the same weakness as those dudes from power rangers?

gellaho

It's literally laser tag

Ok. I think it's back

More fun for the kids

And I guess Warriarr is on the cover

Dr Shark

Okay, I wasn't the only one.

gellaho

I was going to be so pissed, I'm almost done

Dr Shark

Is everyone else back?

GDC

yeah, it's back for me

gellaho

Warriarr sucks

gellaho

Why is he on the cover

Dr Shark

They should've had the Phoenix instead

Old Man Brendan

If you can endlessly torture these guys, why would you keep respawning them back at base?

See how much fight is in them after they've spent a week getting their nuts photon-lasered.

gellaho

How could they possibly hit an exposed area

gellaho

Dr Shark

Dammit! If only there was some opening in his armor!

GDC

that is the expression of a man who just failed to land an axe kick.

gellaho

These books should really be about Lord Baethan

Old Man Brendan

At Warriar Technical Univarrsity, you'll learn critical skills for today's hot job market, like soldarring, carr reparr, and pick-up arrtist skills in case you meet a princess with a perv daddy.

Dr Shark

Baethan rules.

gellaho

Old Man Brendan

GAMBLARR, CLASS of '82: "Definitely glad I enrolled here I am, lad, I destroyed a planetary shield and used a girl to piss off her dad."

gellaho

Thanks.

gellaho

Dr Shark

I doubt there's enough glory to make your first book worth seeing, Peters. And yes, I know you meant the title.

gellaho

Prisms

gellaho

gellaho

Son of a bitch

GDC

i need a drink after that last simile.

hype slug jakesy

Yeah discord shit the bed for a sec

Ugh is Peters worse than Milan with these jokes

Dr Shark

Goddammit again Bhodi

gellaho

Bhodi Li: Snitch

gellaho

Time for armed combat

Dr Shark

In the area? Just, the general location?

gellaho

I think that was supposed to be arena

He got some great editors on this

Dr Shark

Probably, but Peters squandered benefit of the doubt long ago.

gellaho

I love this excuse. "It was too noisy, so I shut down your planetary shields"

gellaho

Goodbye, Gambler

Dr Shark

"Emperor, should we try your daughter for war crimes and high treason?" "No. She is grounded."

Old Man Brendan

What happened to the ten-year-old wearing a 40-lb computer backpack, did he also elude the four-armed murder-monsters?

gellaho

he's around

He didn't do much in this one

Old Man Brendan

Trial by combat for the fate of the universe.

gellaho

BUT WHAT OF MOM!?!?

Old Man Brendan

Why'd Gambler get his mind wiped? Why did he have to leave?

gellaho

To be continued in THE SEARCH FOR MOM

Old Man Brendan

And why did a guy whose wife let him put 12 babies into her think he had any chance of controlling the oldest?

gellaho

He turned off the planetary forcefield to try and impress a girl

Old Man Brendan

She was DOOMED to rebel against his Shakespearen fathering skills.

gellaho

Which allowed theArrians to attack

Dr Shark

He'd have to first acknowledge she could act on her own.

gellaho

Now we wait until next time, so we can find mommy

Dr Shark

That was fun. Thanks @gellaho

Old Man Brendan

Reveal: MOM is the princesses' mother

Always a pleasure, @gellaho -- you're our favorite librarian.

gellaho

It's been a real good three weeks

I'm still trying to process the weird 12 princess dance

Dr Shark

That was messed up.

Old Man Brendan

Rotoscope: Womanhood

Dr Shark

THAT was the word. Thank you!

Kept thinking, what the hell was the image series to progress like the steps of evolution? Not "mobius strip"

Old Man Brendan

I've got a Muybridge in front of me, so I cheated.

Dr Shark

Eh, win's a win when finding the right word.

gellaho

Photon: High Stakes has been defeated

gellaho

And The Book Cage rests for another week