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Reminder: Tomorrow, 5pm Eastern: Killer Steele
#3 Steele
Reminder: Tomorrow, 5pm Eastern: Killer Steele
I still love how that "it's a cyborg" line is supposed to be a shocking development as though they could only cyborg one dude
This feels like it's going for drama and tension that is wildly unearned at this point
Also what are the odds on evil cyborg killing raven?
Oh shit gambling time
There should be a pool for who the first character to die will be
Is Ice still alive? If he is I can’t imagine it’ll be for much longer
Where did we leave off? Mob boss was let go and Steele is with the girl? I forget names.
Yeah last I remember Borodini is on the loose but I forget if some of the side characters are still alive
I still have money that he becomes robo-Borodini at some point
And the mannequin on the cover is his old partner as an evil cyborg?
It would seem that way based on the teaser
But in the world of Steele it’s not always super clear
My bets are
Girlfriend - killed by evil mannequin
Evil robo partner- killed, not redeemed
Borodini - shows up in last chapter to set up next book
Discussion of Steeles dick - Yes
That’s a solid parlay right there
Steele for sure fucks. It would be an upset if he didn’t
If Steele doesn't fuck that would be a first
Betting on Steele not fucking is like betting on Green in roulette
The fact that it's his partner is clearly going for some kind of pathos, but his partner was barely mentioned so I don't care
Its like voting on purple in roulette
I think steele should get his dick shot off, it's had more screen time and we're all much more invested in it's arc
I skipped most of the stuff with the partner because it was boring. He mostly existed so Steele had someone to talk about his wife cheating on him and so he could explain why they were meeting with Ice
One of many characters that existed solely for exposition
Now he has exists to kill steele
I too am interested in the arc of Steele’s dick
If Steele's dick doesn't get shot off I'll be so disapointed
It will be the ultimate dramatic turn for the character
I don't know if JD could part with that
He keeps talking about his ability to have children, he's gotta impregnate someone before he loses that dick
I think JD is too insecure to ever shoot the dick off the character he projects himself into
I mean, were assuming normal writing rules where things like forshadowing and chekovs gun apply and I just don't think he masters, genius, is that kind of writer.
I think the man whose real actual legal name is simon hawke, a name he deliberately chose, is going to be that predictable
Or you know, good
Steele begins soon. If you need a refresher on the setting you can find it here: http://www.gellaho.com/books/steele
If you want Steele faces for your own personal use, you can find them here: http://www.gellaho.com/images
Thanks, I do want Steele faces for my own personal use
If you don’t use them they use you, choose carefully
I need some people to do steele face profile pics with me, ideally we have one of each
Why? I don't know.
There have been many great opening lines in the history of literature
Who had immediate Steele dick?
Everybody's naked!
What a strong female character
In case you were wondering about Steele's construction, his eyes, brain, skeleton and most of his skin has been replaced
But he still has some internal organs for some reason
So much dick talk already
This obsession on Steele’s dong being real is so wild to me
God such an amazing mastery of the craft
None of the armor piercing bullets that tore him to shreds winged his ding-a-ling?
They can send messages to Steele's brain directly now. And they sound like screams
It was quite lucky
Damn all the bets on No Fuck Green have already been lost
I bet it's not even his real dick
I bet it's just some guys
It will always be funny to me how lazy this is
Somehow, fuck you expect me to write how that happened?
Lol
These things just happen, somehow
I think it's great how immediately he went into Steele's real dick.
Somehow the terrorists got the shit to advance the plot!
And ass apparently
His face ass and balls are all that make him human now
This guy got robocop’d into just a pelvis and face
Raven explored his body quite thoroughly, I wonder if that means she pegged him
I think we can call that canon
Do you think he cried when she stuck it in?
I feel like he would
Great maximum security at the building that houses the CIA, Congress and the President
One of my biggest peeves is “what seemed to be” like fucking is it??
They should probably get that pile of marines cleaned up before guests come over
gasp
FATALITY
Seems like they made this one a lot stronger
I mean, good call making an unstoppable murder robot.
See this one didn't have a human penis and so he went insane.
fatal mistake
I feel like you're asking for trouble with this name
Ol' JD/Simon can't resist a cliché
Wait, so these are cyborgs
Doesn't that mean they need like, a ton of human bodies to make them?
Were gonna need a lot more cops shot to death in the face and organs but not the dick
I'm guessing JD didn't think through
He was too busy writing this kind of gold
Really uncharted territory
This is the type of important detail that gets chopped for a better description of Steele's functioning genitals
This is a great way to go about creating unstoppable murder machines. Keep information to yourself
I don't know if this guy understands how long 20 seconds is
They act like the cyborgs are invincible murder machines but do we have any details?
Like is he explodeproof?
Or fireproof?
They wanted to build an unstoppable army of cyborgs are, are they the bad guys?
Armor piercing bullet sniper proof?
I guess we're getting future weapons in the post apocalypse
Love the “I can’t tell you but trust me”
And is Steele still a cop? Do cops get called in to take down rogue military agents?
Oh shit, he’s about to give him head
Steele is whatever the story needs him to be
Really seems like they haven't missed a beat, despite the billions dead
These books are a sloppy pile of cliches and bad ideas, written by some kind of maniac
Okay, so over half the CIA is dead
Also, they're talking about budgets?
Are they still printing money?
Sometimes I think the author didn't fully think through the societal implications of billions dead / zombie apocalypse
They're also worried about media attention
I can't get over that he thinks television would survive this
At least they will get help from the strike force
Lol
What will the networks think?
Good
Yeah he was completely engulfed in flame after an explosion, but he survived that
Hahaha what part of him were they able to keep alive?
"he died in that ambush" like fucking so did you dick
“Guys we saved the dick, we can work with this!”
They can cyberize people, keep up.
I think he hurt Steele's feelings
God it's almost like making an unstoppable killer cyborg was a bad idea
Did they not add an emergency shutdown?
That "You didn't have to" is so passive aggressive
"god, steele, can you not be such a little birch about this?"
That breezy
dialog is best read in Ryan George’s voice from those pitch meetings.
Also, why is he having more of existential crisis about his partner being a cyborg than he did for him?
Steele's ex-wife is back
Full body search?
What did that entail?
And on top of all this, my god dam wife wants alimony
That feel when your ex wife is hanging out with your new 18 year old girlfriend
The director Higgins is a great guy
Wait, did they copy Steele's brain?
Is the stalker steele?
I thought Steele had a meat brain
No he has a cyber brain
Yes
But it's hilariously just sitting in the Texas Psyciatrist's apartment
I think it also had the exact same dreams Steele did in the last book, which doesn't make any sense
Are they going to kill steele and bring him back with the copy?
I'm not sure what character I'm supposed to like in these books
They where memories put in to fill out memory gaps so I think it makes sense.
I don't know these are so badly written.
why is it so important for the engram to have steele's voice if it will still provide the same info?
I also disagree with the premise that Steele's brain would respond identically to robot steele, if he's in a different set if circumstances. They'll grow further and further apart until they're basically two different people
you're assuming steele is capable of character growth
All that damn red tape keeping copies of his super brain out of any idiots hands
The Texan Psychiatrist who took the copy of Steele's brain is now lecturing on how it's immoral to copy a brain
"What is a man?!" (shatters wine glass)
I think that was so the psychiatrist would feel more comfortable talking to the computer
Then the psychiatrist who was just on his high horse is talking about forcing the computer to answer his questions
just casually discussing a free will AI like that's not the most complicated fucking thing
JD masters might be out if his depth on this one, weirdly
Let me tell you, this conversation is long and keeps folding back on itself
actually how can it have free will if you can install an imperative? you can't have it both ways
It might be just padding
this is about the fourth time this has been discussed in these 20 pages
I like the implication that the program is smart because it figured out it doesn't have a body
I think I that's something you would notice
This is just the plot of Cyberpunk now
Keanu is taking over his brain, mannnnnn
it's also a little bit of Peace Walker
Keep it in your pants JD
Is, is a three way coming up?
Haha classic Steele, sure she’s sad and crying but I bet I can slip it in still
He's. Just. Too. Sexually. Powerful.
The human cock! It’s so good!
Are you getting it yet?
that might be the least sexy way to describe sex
there are medical textbooks with more spice
God, jd masters, genius, has some fucking issues with women
"She's so hot, but she's such a bitch"
This is why I call him "incel steele"
Holy hell
oh fuck off
Gid, fuck you simon hawke
This is a great page
post-apocalypse but there's still courts, divorces, and restraining orders
I assumed he did that to get rid of the wife so he didn't have to deal with her being part of Steele's life
Didn't think she'd be back
Is "you didn't have to" Steele's catch phrase now?
heaven forbid we have a main character be in a committed relationship
"is that is"? I expect better from your editor, JD
God, steele is being such a fucking whiner in this one
KILLER STEELE
Was jd masters, genius, going through a divorce or something?
I wish this horseshit family drama would stop
Simon hawke can not write real people.
If this was the post apocalypse he actually described, those kids would just be dead
Oh for sure this is just Masters narrating his home life now
so is Steele his first name?
Donovan is his first name
why would his ex-wife refer to him by last name?
I know a lot of divorcees, literally none of them do this
That's a great question
So like, how is the world still kicking so much in the end times? We've got middle class waspy family drama going on.
How would a kid (or anyone for that matter) make it from Boston to New York
there are like a dozen roving street gangs
I feel like this must take place in the same """post-apocalypse""" as ready player one
These kids should be dead
Janice is such a great character
the spacing on those ellipses bothers me more than it should
Ready player ones is more realistic, you can reasonably to get that hyper capitalist dystopia level, some countries have ended up there
Was the murderous cyborg not enough stakes? Why introduce this
padding
someone's working through some shit
Jd masters, genius, is trying to hit his word count.
Fuck yes, bring me Ice
Hell yeah, let’s get iced baby
Steele wants to fuck ice, like so so badly
who doesn't? he's the best character
This reads goofier than I think was intended
I think this is supposed to be frightening, but it's written so weirdly
I feel like the pedestrian being a monster and flipping the car is in every Saturday morning cartoon and dumb horror film
wait, what?
These are just weird language choices
No editir
His writing style is very passive
It’s always like “these things happened”
Use your action verbs Mastere
Esteban crawls like a worm, crawls like a worm from a bird
Passive writing is the first thing they beat out of you in any creative writing class
Stalker has just recruited some kind of cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers
Hes their god now
I guess his zombie screamers weren't enough, so he's also introduced mole people that live in the subway tunnels and eat human flesh
So if his partner is this horrifyingly callous, he was probably always kind of a dick right?
Lol, the NYPD already found his son
Cool, glad that was a meaningful conflict
His daughter is still out there, which worries me
The mechanics of this message relay had better pay off in the climax.
Bionic eyes don't cry
I forgot steele physically can't cry
That's, that's just the best
They still have access to doctors and sedatives, of course
I think at this point we're safe to ignore the apocalypse stuff
God dam child abusing pimps
Did Q write this?
Blink twice if this is the Great Awakening
You don't know the half of it
Q!!!!!!!!!!!
Steele: WWG1WGA
The newest installment
BUT the pimp's name was Tim.
Why does this keep happening
Fuck
That's a weirdly dark turn
...wait a second
that's my street.
Then JD decided it was a great idea to list out his literary crimes
Guys, it's a really nice street.
the saddest sad trombone
There is practically NO cyborg-on-pimp violence here.
Idk, empirical evidence indicates otherwise
Things are going well for everyone it seems
So the author did the "child gang-raped" storyline and then decided he had better do it a second time to Steele's daughter so readers understand why he'd be angry about it?
Had to get the word virile in there
I keep getting bamboozled by the promises of these books
The last one promise a buddy cop story and this one promised cyborg on cyborg violence
Natty Bumpo: Texas Cyborg Edition.
I FUCKING GET IT JD
Stop expecting these books to deliver anything but madness
Oh good this is back
Why the fuck is this happening now
I'm caught up and this is not a very exciting book
I'm not interested in your religious discussion, bud. Two pages ago you had child prostitution
Oh my god, eye roll
Surprise evangelism!
"not believing in things is exactly the same as believing in those things'
Everyone does have that one atheist friend though.
Steele, coming to pure flix this fall
Oh great, he's going to see Steele's friend the Catholic priest
Who is this book supposed to be for
Fantastic
Angry girl dads who feel impotent to protect their family from the world around them
Donovan Steele, Program: Can San Francisco's hottest architect keep his boss from discovering he's actually an engrammatic matrix TRYING to do his best to raise a precocious little girl left on his doorstep by a guy named Tim? Thursdays on ABC after Hanging With Mr. Cooper!
Ah, the TAKEN model.
I think this book is for people too dumb to get robocop
OK, try to follow this. They're doing this pointless religious discussion
And then there is the most abrupt turn
sad trombone
Props to masters for just repeatedly swinging and missing at topics he has no chance at hitting
The stripper comes out of fucking nowhere
What the actual fuck am I being exposed to. I am either too sober, or not sober enough, for this.
Yeah, what a transition
I think he just gets bored when there's not a gunfight or tits happening
I honestly thought we were swinging over to her to see what she thought of the whole AI-soul situation.
This is whiplash of the highest order
It's the magical world of Steele
It's only a gate to hell if you've got the key, Gozer.
That might be happening
"the gate of hell" definitely something a sane man with a healthy relationship with women would call it
Calling a vag the gate of hell is kind of telling on yourself.
Is... Is this what a Giant Sloar's true form looks like? Because I was told it was a three-eyed slime Dinosaur, and I feel dreadfully unprepared for the sanity damage this is inflicting.
Normally I'd question if it's diagenically the character or the author but this ain't my first rodeo
This is another reminder that the author doesn't remember that this is post apocalyptic
This is inexplicable
Man wants drink, priest punches man, bartender compliments priest, stripper offers priest table dance
Neve trust a priest
Boy the CIA dropped the ball on that priest.
Not the first time I bet
He's cold-cocking dudes in strip clubs and staring down the staff but they think he's no threat.
I missed the part where everyone gives a priest a pass when they assault someone. A grown man in a strip club, anway.
Priests get qualified immunity
Like cops
Strong media presence
...flightsuit?
your guess is as good as mine
Aw, yeah. Here he is
The thirstiest description I've ever read
Ice is a fed now
I appreciate the precision in the description of his arms.
Was the suit taylored to be so tight?
Does ice want everybody to get a look at the gun show?
Must be nice
That corner's one of my favorite places on earth, incidentally. Duke Ellington circle. Spectacular golden hour.
No wonder Ice got no complaints.
Brendan mcginley trying to convince us new york's not just packed with cyborg on pimp violence
The bio-war happened because libs banned guns, I get ya.