4: Killer Steele J.D. Masters (Simon Hawke)

gellaho

Reminder: Tomorrow, 5pm Eastern: Killer Steele

Science God Q Alchemy

I still love how that "it's a cyborg" line is supposed to be a shocking development as though they could only cyborg one dude

This feels like it's going for drama and tension that is wildly unearned at this point

Also what are the odds on evil cyborg killing raven?

sensitive New Age jakesy

Oh shit gambling time

There should be a pool for who the first character to die will be

Is Ice still alive? If he is I can’t imagine it’ll be for much longer

Greg Danang Danar Dono

Where did we leave off? Mob boss was let go and Steele is with the girl? I forget names.

sensitive New Age jakesy

Yeah last I remember Borodini is on the loose but I forget if some of the side characters are still alive

I still have money that he becomes robo-Borodini at some point

Greg Danang Danar Dono

And the mannequin on the cover is his old partner as an evil cyborg?

sensitive New Age jakesy

It would seem that way based on the teaser

But in the world of Steele it’s not always super clear

Greg Danang Danar Dono

My bets are

Girlfriend - killed by evil mannequin

Evil robo partner- killed, not redeemed

Borodini - shows up in last chapter to set up next book

Discussion of Steeles dick - Yes

sensitive New Age jakesy

That’s a solid parlay right there

Steele for sure fucks. It would be an upset if he didn’t

gellaho

If Steele doesn't fuck that would be a first

sensitive New Age jakesy

Betting on Steele not fucking is like betting on Green in roulette

Science God Q Alchemy

The fact that it's his partner is clearly going for some kind of pathos, but his partner was barely mentioned so I don't care

Alpha Scientist Javo

Its like voting on purple in roulette

Science God Q Alchemy

I think steele should get his dick shot off, it's had more screen time and we're all much more invested in it's arc

gellaho

I skipped most of the stuff with the partner because it was boring. He mostly existed so Steele had someone to talk about his wife cheating on him and so he could explain why they were meeting with Ice

One of many characters that existed solely for exposition

Science God Q Alchemy

Now he has exists to kill steele

Wirebiter (he/him)

I too am interested in the arc of Steele’s dick

Science God Q Alchemy

If Steele's dick doesn't get shot off I'll be so disapointed

It will be the ultimate dramatic turn for the character

gellaho

I don't know if JD could part with that

He keeps talking about his ability to have children, he's gotta impregnate someone before he loses that dick

Greg Danang Danar Dono

I think JD is too insecure to ever shoot the dick off the character he projects himself into

Science God Q Alchemy

I mean, were assuming normal writing rules where things like forshadowing and chekovs gun apply and I just don't think he masters, genius, is that kind of writer.

I think the man whose real actual legal name is simon hawke, a name he deliberately chose, is going to be that predictable

Or you know, good

gellaho

Steele begins soon. If you need a refresher on the setting you can find it here: http://www.gellaho.com/books/steele

If you want Steele faces for your own personal use, you can find them here: http://www.gellaho.com/images

Greg Danang Danar Dono

Thanks, I do want Steele faces for my own personal use

Ye Olde Albany Blood Knife

If you don’t use them they use you, choose carefully

Science God Q Alchemy

I need some people to do steele face profile pics with me, ideally we have one of each

Why? I don't know.

gellaho

There have been many great opening lines in the history of literature

gellaho

Who had immediate Steele dick?

Everybody's naked!

gellaho

What a strong female character

In case you were wondering about Steele's construction, his eyes, brain, skeleton and most of his skin has been replaced

gellaho

But he still has some internal organs for some reason

So much dick talk already

Wirebiter (he/him)

This obsession on Steele’s dong being real is so wild to me

Science God Q Alchemy

God such an amazing mastery of the craft

Wirebiter (he/him)

None of the armor piercing bullets that tore him to shreds winged his ding-a-ling?

gellaho

They can send messages to Steele's brain directly now. And they sound like screams

gellaho

It was quite lucky

sensitive New Age jakesy

Damn all the bets on No Fuck Green have already been lost

Science God Q Alchemy

I bet it's not even his real dick

I bet it's just some guys

gellaho

It will always be funny to me how lazy this is

Somehow, fuck you expect me to write how that happened?

sensitive New Age jakesy

Lol

Wirebiter (he/him)

These things just happen, somehow

Science God Q Alchemy

I think it's great how immediately he went into Steele's real dick.

sensitive New Age jakesy

Somehow the terrorists got the shit to advance the plot!

Science God Q Alchemy

And ass apparently

His face ass and balls are all that make him human now

Wirebiter (he/him)

This guy got robocop’d into just a pelvis and face

gellaho

Raven explored his body quite thoroughly, I wonder if that means she pegged him

Wirebiter (he/him)

I think we can call that canon

Science God Q Alchemy

Do you think he cried when she stuck it in?

I feel like he would

gellaho

Great maximum security at the building that houses the CIA, Congress and the President

Wirebiter (he/him)

One of my biggest peeves is “what seemed to be” like fucking is it??

They should probably get that pile of marines cleaned up before guests come over

gellaho

gasp

gellaho

FATALITY

gellaho

Seems like they made this one a lot stronger

Science God Q Alchemy

I mean, good call making an unstoppable murder robot.

See this one didn't have a human penis and so he went insane.

gellaho

fatal mistake

I feel like you're asking for trouble with this name

gellaho

Ol' JD/Simon can't resist a cliché

Science God Q Alchemy

Wait, so these are cyborgs

Doesn't that mean they need like, a ton of human bodies to make them?

Were gonna need a lot more cops shot to death in the face and organs but not the dick

gellaho

I'm guessing JD didn't think through

He was too busy writing this kind of gold

Really uncharted territory

Greg Danang Danar Dono

This is the type of important detail that gets chopped for a better description of Steele's functioning genitals

gellaho

This is a great way to go about creating unstoppable murder machines. Keep information to yourself

I don't know if this guy understands how long 20 seconds is

Greg Danang Danar Dono

They act like the cyborgs are invincible murder machines but do we have any details?

Like is he explodeproof?

Or fireproof?

Science God Q Alchemy

They wanted to build an unstoppable army of cyborgs are, are they the bad guys?

Greg Danang Danar Dono

Armor piercing bullet sniper proof?

gellaho

I guess we're getting future weapons in the post apocalypse

sensitive New Age jakesy

Love the “I can’t tell you but trust me”

Greg Danang Danar Dono

And is Steele still a cop? Do cops get called in to take down rogue military agents?

sensitive New Age jakesy

Oh shit, he’s about to give him head

Science God Q Alchemy

Steele is whatever the story needs him to be

gellaho

Really seems like they haven't missed a beat, despite the billions dead

Science God Q Alchemy

These books are a sloppy pile of cliches and bad ideas, written by some kind of maniac

gellaho

Okay, so over half the CIA is dead

Also, they're talking about budgets?

Are they still printing money?

Greg Danang Danar Dono

Sometimes I think the author didn't fully think through the societal implications of billions dead / zombie apocalypse

gellaho

They're also worried about media attention

I can't get over that he thinks television would survive this

Greg Danang Danar Dono

At least they will get help from the strike force

sensitive New Age jakesy

Lol

What will the networks think?

Science God Q Alchemy

Good

gellaho

Yeah he was completely engulfed in flame after an explosion, but he survived that

sensitive New Age jakesy

Hahaha what part of him were they able to keep alive?

Science God Q Alchemy

"he died in that ambush" like fucking so did you dick

sensitive New Age jakesy

“Guys we saved the dick, we can work with this!”

Science God Q Alchemy

They can cyberize people, keep up.

gellaho

I think he hurt Steele's feelings

Science God Q Alchemy

God it's almost like making an unstoppable killer cyborg was a bad idea

Did they not add an emergency shutdown?

gellaho

That "You didn't have to" is so passive aggressive

Science God Q Alchemy

"god, steele, can you not be such a little birch about this?"

Perpetually Shocked Fay

That breezy

dialog is best read in Ryan George’s voice from those pitch meetings.

Science God Q Alchemy

Also, why is he having more of existential crisis about his partner being a cyborg than he did for him?

gellaho

Steele's ex-wife is back

Science God Q Alchemy

Full body search?

What did that entail?

sensitive New Age jakesy

And on top of all this, my god dam wife wants alimony

Science God Q Alchemy

That feel when your ex wife is hanging out with your new 18 year old girlfriend

gellaho

The director Higgins is a great guy

Science God Q Alchemy

Wait, did they copy Steele's brain?

Is the stalker steele?

Greg Danang Danar Dono

I thought Steele had a meat brain

Science God Q Alchemy

No he has a cyber brain

gellaho

Yes

But it's hilariously just sitting in the Texas Psyciatrist's apartment

I think it also had the exact same dreams Steele did in the last book, which doesn't make any sense

Science God Q Alchemy

Are they going to kill steele and bring him back with the copy?

gellaho

I'm not sure what character I'm supposed to like in these books

Science God Q Alchemy

They where memories put in to fill out memory gaps so I think it makes sense.

I don't know these are so badly written.

Ferroday, ScapeApe

why is it so important for the engram to have steele's voice if it will still provide the same info?

Science God Q Alchemy

I also disagree with the premise that Steele's brain would respond identically to robot steele, if he's in a different set if circumstances. They'll grow further and further apart until they're basically two different people

Ferroday, ScapeApe

you're assuming steele is capable of character growth

sensitive New Age jakesy

All that damn red tape keeping copies of his super brain out of any idiots hands

gellaho

The Texan Psychiatrist who took the copy of Steele's brain is now lecturing on how it's immoral to copy a brain

Ferroday, ScapeApe

"What is a man?!" (shatters wine glass)

gellaho

I think that was so the psychiatrist would feel more comfortable talking to the computer

Then the psychiatrist who was just on his high horse is talking about forcing the computer to answer his questions

Ferroday, ScapeApe

just casually discussing a free will AI like that's not the most complicated fucking thing

Science God Q Alchemy

JD masters might be out if his depth on this one, weirdly

gellaho

Let me tell you, this conversation is long and keeps folding back on itself

Ferroday, ScapeApe

actually how can it have free will if you can install an imperative? you can't have it both ways

Science God Q Alchemy

It might be just padding

gellaho

this is about the fourth time this has been discussed in these 20 pages

gellaho

I like the implication that the program is smart because it figured out it doesn't have a body

Science God Q Alchemy

I think I that's something you would notice

sensitive New Age jakesy

This is just the plot of Cyberpunk now

Keanu is taking over his brain, mannnnnn

Ferroday, ScapeApe

it's also a little bit of Peace Walker

gellaho

Keep it in your pants JD

Science God Q Alchemy

Is, is a three way coming up?

sensitive New Age jakesy

Haha classic Steele, sure she’s sad and crying but I bet I can slip it in still

gellaho

He's. Just. Too. Sexually. Powerful.

sensitive New Age jakesy

The human cock! It’s so good!

gellaho

Are you getting it yet?

Ferroday, ScapeApe

that might be the least sexy way to describe sex

there are medical textbooks with more spice

Science God Q Alchemy

God, jd masters, genius, has some fucking issues with women

gellaho

"She's so hot, but she's such a bitch"

Science God Q Alchemy

This is why I call him "incel steele"

gellaho

Holy hell

Ferroday, ScapeApe

oh fuck off

Science God Q Alchemy

Gid, fuck you simon hawke

gellaho

This is a great page

Ferroday, ScapeApe

post-apocalypse but there's still courts, divorces, and restraining orders

Science God Q Alchemy

I assumed he did that to get rid of the wife so he didn't have to deal with her being part of Steele's life

Didn't think she'd be back

gellaho

Is "you didn't have to" Steele's catch phrase now?

Ferroday, ScapeApe

heaven forbid we have a main character be in a committed relationship

"is that is"? I expect better from your editor, JD

Science God Q Alchemy

God, steele is being such a fucking whiner in this one

gellaho

KILLER STEELE

Science God Q Alchemy

Was jd masters, genius, going through a divorce or something?

gellaho

I wish this horseshit family drama would stop

Science God Q Alchemy

Simon hawke can not write real people.

gellaho

If this was the post apocalypse he actually described, those kids would just be dead

sensitive New Age jakesy

Oh for sure this is just Masters narrating his home life now

Ferroday, ScapeApe

so is Steele his first name?

gellaho

Donovan is his first name

Ferroday, ScapeApe

why would his ex-wife refer to him by last name?

I know a lot of divorcees, literally none of them do this

gellaho

That's a great question

Science God Q Alchemy

So like, how is the world still kicking so much in the end times? We've got middle class waspy family drama going on.

gellaho

How would a kid (or anyone for that matter) make it from Boston to New York

there are like a dozen roving street gangs

Ferroday, ScapeApe

I feel like this must take place in the same """post-apocalypse""" as ready player one

gellaho

These kids should be dead

gellaho

Janice is such a great character

Ferroday, ScapeApe

the spacing on those ellipses bothers me more than it should

Science God Q Alchemy

Ready player ones is more realistic, you can reasonably to get that hyper capitalist dystopia level, some countries have ended up there

gellaho

Was the murderous cyborg not enough stakes? Why introduce this

Science God Q Alchemy

padding

Ferroday, ScapeApe

someone's working through some shit

Science God Q Alchemy

Jd masters, genius, is trying to hit his word count.

gellaho

Fuck yes, bring me Ice

sensitive New Age jakesy

Hell yeah, let’s get iced baby

Science God Q Alchemy

Steele wants to fuck ice, like so so badly

Ferroday, ScapeApe

who doesn't? he's the best character

gellaho

This reads goofier than I think was intended

gellaho

I think this is supposed to be frightening, but it's written so weirdly

Science God Q Alchemy

I feel like the pedestrian being a monster and flipping the car is in every Saturday morning cartoon and dumb horror film

gellaho

Ferroday, ScapeApe

wait, what?

gellaho

These are just weird language choices

Science God Q Alchemy

No editir

sensitive New Age jakesy

His writing style is very passive

It’s always like “these things happened”

Use your action verbs Mastere

The Bloodsucker Proxy

Esteban crawls like a worm, crawls like a worm from a bird

Science God Q Alchemy

Passive writing is the first thing they beat out of you in any creative writing class

gellaho

Stalker has just recruited some kind of cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers

Science God Q Alchemy

Hes their god now

gellaho

I guess his zombie screamers weren't enough, so he's also introduced mole people that live in the subway tunnels and eat human flesh

Science God Q Alchemy

So if his partner is this horrifyingly callous, he was probably always kind of a dick right?

gellaho

Lol, the NYPD already found his son

Science God Q Alchemy

Cool, glad that was a meaningful conflict

gellaho

His daughter is still out there, which worries me

Old Man Brendan

The mechanics of this message relay had better pay off in the climax.

gellaho

Bionic eyes don't cry

gellaho

Science God Q Alchemy

I forgot steele physically can't cry

That's, that's just the best

gellaho

They still have access to doctors and sedatives, of course

Science God Q Alchemy

I think at this point we're safe to ignore the apocalypse stuff

sensitive New Age jakesy

God dam child abusing pimps

Did Q write this?

Blink twice if this is the Great Awakening

gellaho

You don't know the half of it

sensitive New Age jakesy

Q!!!!!!!!!!!

Steele: WWG1WGA

The newest installment

Old Man Brendan

BUT the pimp's name was Tim.

gellaho

Why does this keep happening

Science God Q Alchemy

Fuck

That's a weirdly dark turn

Old Man Brendan

...wait a second

that's my street.

gellaho

Then JD decided it was a great idea to list out his literary crimes

Old Man Brendan

Guys, it's a really nice street.

Science God Q Alchemy

the saddest sad trombone

Old Man Brendan

There is practically NO cyborg-on-pimp violence here.

Ferroday, ScapeApe

Idk, empirical evidence indicates otherwise

gellaho

Things are going well for everyone it seems

Old Man Brendan

So the author did the "child gang-raped" storyline and then decided he had better do it a second time to Steele's daughter so readers understand why he'd be angry about it?

Science God Q Alchemy

Had to get the word virile in there

gellaho

I keep getting bamboozled by the promises of these books

The last one promise a buddy cop story and this one promised cyborg on cyborg violence

Old Man Brendan

Natty Bumpo: Texas Cyborg Edition.

gellaho

I FUCKING GET IT JD

Science God Q Alchemy

Stop expecting these books to deliver anything but madness

Oh good this is back

gellaho

Why the fuck is this happening now

Greg Danang Danar Dono

I'm caught up and this is not a very exciting book

gellaho

I'm not interested in your religious discussion, bud. Two pages ago you had child prostitution

Science God Q Alchemy

Oh my god, eye roll

gdc032

Surprise evangelism!

Science God Q Alchemy

"not believing in things is exactly the same as believing in those things'

Old Man Brendan

Everyone does have that one atheist friend though.

Science God Q Alchemy

Steele, coming to pure flix this fall

gellaho

Oh great, he's going to see Steele's friend the Catholic priest

Who is this book supposed to be for

Science God Q Alchemy

Fantastic

sensitive New Age jakesy

Angry girl dads who feel impotent to protect their family from the world around them

Old Man Brendan

Donovan Steele, Program: Can San Francisco's hottest architect keep his boss from discovering he's actually an engrammatic matrix TRYING to do his best to raise a precocious little girl left on his doorstep by a guy named Tim? Thursdays on ABC after Hanging With Mr. Cooper!

Old Man Brendan

Ah, the TAKEN model.

Science God Q Alchemy

I think this book is for people too dumb to get robocop

gellaho

OK, try to follow this. They're doing this pointless religious discussion

gellaho

And then there is the most abrupt turn

Science God Q Alchemy

sad trombone

Greg Danang Danar Dono

Props to masters for just repeatedly swinging and missing at topics he has no chance at hitting

gellaho

The stripper comes out of fucking nowhere

Literary Chimera, Porn Mercenary

What the actual fuck am I being exposed to. I am either too sober, or not sober enough, for this.

Old Man Brendan

Yeah, what a transition

Science God Q Alchemy

I think he just gets bored when there's not a gunfight or tits happening

Old Man Brendan

I honestly thought we were swinging over to her to see what she thought of the whole AI-soul situation.

gellaho

This is whiplash of the highest order

gellaho

It's the magical world of Steele

Old Man Brendan

It's only a gate to hell if you've got the key, Gozer.

gellaho

That might be happening

Science God Q Alchemy

"the gate of hell" definitely something a sane man with a healthy relationship with women would call it

gdc032

Calling a vag the gate of hell is kind of telling on yourself.

Literary Chimera, Porn Mercenary

Is... Is this what a Giant Sloar's true form looks like? Because I was told it was a three-eyed slime Dinosaur, and I feel dreadfully unprepared for the sanity damage this is inflicting.

Science God Q Alchemy

Normally I'd question if it's diagenically the character or the author but this ain't my first rodeo

gellaho

This is another reminder that the author doesn't remember that this is post apocalyptic

gellaho

This is inexplicable

Man wants drink, priest punches man, bartender compliments priest, stripper offers priest table dance

Science God Q Alchemy

Neve trust a priest

Old Man Brendan

Boy the CIA dropped the ball on that priest.

Science God Q Alchemy

Not the first time I bet

Old Man Brendan

He's cold-cocking dudes in strip clubs and staring down the staff but they think he's no threat.

gdc032

I missed the part where everyone gives a priest a pass when they assault someone. A grown man in a strip club, anway.

Science God Q Alchemy

Priests get qualified immunity

Like cops

gellaho

Strong media presence

Old Man Brendan

...flightsuit?

gellaho

your guess is as good as mine

Aw, yeah. Here he is

Science God Q Alchemy

The thirstiest description I've ever read

gellaho

Ice is a fed now

gdc032

I appreciate the precision in the description of his arms.

Science God Q Alchemy

Was the suit taylored to be so tight?

Does ice want everybody to get a look at the gun show?

gellaho

Must be nice

Old Man Brendan

That corner's one of my favorite places on earth, incidentally. Duke Ellington circle. Spectacular golden hour.

No wonder Ice got no complaints.

Science God Q Alchemy

Brendan mcginley trying to convince us new york's not just packed with cyborg on pimp violence

Old Man Brendan

The bio-war happened because libs banned guns, I get ya.