Science God Q Alchemy
On every corner
4: Killer Steele J.D. Masters (Simon Hawke)
#3 Steele
Tags:
Renegade Cyborg!
Archive
gdc032
Did the NRA write this section?
Science God Q Alchemy
What are simon hawkes politics?
My guess, bad
Old Man Brendan
He's making a really good case for banning them, though.
When guns are banned for use on living things, living things become guns.
gellaho
I don't like where this is going
Old Man Brendan
Is Rico played by Prince?
Science God Q Alchemy
Twink alert
Old Man Brendan
Because I only made it as far as spike heels before I thought Prince, and then it got Princier.
gellaho
Ugh
sensitive New Age jakesy
He’s really into the kid rape huh
Like any amount is uncomfortable but uhhh. He really lays it on thick
Science God Q Alchemy
Simon hawke us an unwell man
Old Man Brendan
Really weird how the one time this guy gets diction right, it's when a pimp abuses a minor.
gellaho
sensitive New Age jakesy
Write what you know, I guess
gellaho
Uh oh
Old Man Brendan
HA HA HA HA! "Wait, of the Cos Cob Steeles?"
Science God Q Alchemy
Is borodini fucking rico too?
Old Man Brendan
But Steele TOOK DOWN Borodini with Ice's help in the smash follow-up RIVETING STEELE.
gellaho
The tone is all over the place
Old Man Brendan
...bushy at work?
Later that week, Higgins sent Stone an email confessing to how close he felt they had grown working in the lab. The threat to her career, though never directly stated, was as pathetically awkward as Higgins himself.
gellaho
I don't know why there needs to be another scientist to look at this copy of Steele's brain
Old Man Brendan
Because this is a love interest in a lab coat.
gellaho
Out of nowhere sex scene with the new lady scientist and the project director? Absolutely
gellaho
Pervy Steele program? Why not
Old Man Brendan
This...actually kind of tracks to redheads of my acquaintance.
So the implication is that Steele would also be a voyeur for his colleagues.
sensitive New Age jakesy
Steele loves watching
But the real news is mutha fuckin’ Borodini is back, baby
gellaho
Well, I just got through a page that described four different rapes
Old Man Brendan
"Steele's penis, though still all man, was as rigid as his name. God, it turned him on to watch his coworkers bone. It was probably why he wasn't home enough to realize his 15-year-old daughter was constantly being victimized by the worst people in the worl--NO! No time to think of that now. Higgins's untailored dress shirt was riding up, revealing the cottage-cheese ass of a middle-aged man badunking way above his league."
...in a ROW?
gellaho
They were flashbacks, but I don't know why he had to rapid fire them out
Old Man Brendan
Probably so they didn't glut the ones yet to come?
gellaho
This is the first one. I feel like "Rico was a real twist" is such a bizarre way to end that
Old Man Brendan
That no-goodnik is going to draw quite the comeuppance from Steele over his shenanigans.
sensitive New Age jakesy
“What a galoot! So where was I? Right, the raping. God I love that rapin’”
gellaho
Meanwhile, Stalker has started attacking the gangs
even though he said he was going to take down the cops
Old Man Brendan
IS it possible that Hawkes just thinks Rico would "rap" at them because he's "street"?
We've got CHUDs!
Greg Danang Danar Dono
"Tunnel dwellers."
sensitive New Age jakesy
Yeah that sound like he means it to be racist somehow
gellaho
Yeah, he already had screamers as a zombie-type thing, but whatever
Old Man Brendan
Damn Cornish miners.
gellaho
Meanwhile, Ice is out here getting work done
Actually trying to find Steele's daughter for him
Old Man Brendan
But the rifles were the first ones banned. Are we to believe the entire Bio-War was fought for naught?
gellaho
Ice is much more efficient
sensitive New Age jakesy
Ice is the real hero
gellaho
He's so much better at this
Old Man Brendan
I feel I could write down 10 lines I think Ice says in the book and be correct about 7 of them.
gellaho
Victor Borodini is in hiding
gellaho
And Rico is dead. Glad there was all that rape description for this dude to die as soon as he delivered Steele's daughter
Old Man Brendan
five large is five thousand, Paulie, you knucklehead.
I'd say Rick's so ruthless nobody would do business with him to lose their money and life, but...Trump still has about a thousand petty millionaires fooled so...
gellaho
Steele physiology update: he can't get drunk
Dr Skin, the dandy
Thank fuck I'm caught up.
Old Man Brendan
I hate every character in this book except for that scientist who wandered in from a porn premise.
gellaho
Speaking of, that 30-something who spontaneously decided to fuck the director was a virgin
Old Man Brendan
Wedding Crashers did this scene better. Ben Shapiro did it worse.
Science God Q Alchemy
I mean, at 30 you're just looking any way to get rid of your virginity
gellaho
It's amazing how much of this book that isn't rape is just CW-level relationship and family drama
Dr Skin, the dandy
This whole story is Simon hawkes maribu stork nightmare
gellaho
And Ice kicking ass
Old Man Brendan
It's amazing how every female character is defined by her sexual status.
gellaho
JD really wants me to be invested in the relationship between this new lady doctor and Higgins, the CIA director who wants to install security cameras in everyone's homes
Dr Skin, the dandy
The author wants raped virgins and children to avenge.
Science God Q Alchemy
Higgins is a pervert, guarantee.
Old Man Brendan
The irony is that Higgins is the first victim of the AI perv cameras.
@gellaho Lady Doctor is a sexist term. Please use Doctoresstrix.
Dr Skin, the dandy
"The project is a success!" Immediately fucks old scientist on table without foreplay. I deem this plausible.
gellaho
You have to be shitting me
I get it
This is like the 30th time he's described how these fucking cyber brains work
Dr Skin, the dandy
So the cyborg is schizophrenic
They Jurassic parked his brain.
Science God Q Alchemy
I seriously think a judicious editor could turn these 3 books into one, maybe 2
Old Man Brendan
Did you guys hear the one about the Bio-War vet whose son was in the hospital? The doctor's like, "I can't operate on this idiot. This is my son." HOW?
The answer is in the future, women can be doctors if they thank their superiors for career advancement with sex.
Dr Skin, the dandy
I think Simon Hawkes conversation with his editor ran the complete opposite direction
gellaho
It's good to explain your villian's motivation as late as possible
Old Man Brendan
We've got a Barry!
Dr Skin, the dandy
Stalker is so boring.
gellaho
I like that his rage is caused by a sitcom-esque misunderstanding
Dr Skin, the dandy
I want to hear more about ice's lats.
Old Man Brendan
His waist is actually quite slim.
Dr Skin, the dandy
He was drawn by the minds at Malibu comics.
Science God Q Alchemy
Ice, the world's most fuckable man
gellaho
Everyone is after this kid now
I wanted robo-violence
Dr Skin, the dandy
Anybody else bothered this cyborg was built by like two guys.
Old Man Brendan
I love that Stalker's basically as capable as anyone who visited Radio Shack in 2009.
He's got Facebook's face ID algo and a cheap radio scanner.
Dr Skin, the dandy
He has both broadcast, and receiver capabilities
Let's see it he ever really needs his "radio broadcast" superpower
gellaho
Still on dial-up
Old Man Brendan
Hahaha, he's a phreaker.
gellaho
He got one thing right about the future
Dr Skin, the dandy
You know the noise when you accidentally call a fax machine?
Old Man Brendan
You could do the same thing by whistling with perfect pitch, no lie.
Which side will you guys be on in the Bio-War?
Science God Q Alchemy
They still have phone lines?
Dr Skin, the dandy
The tunnel dwellers. They really must have started out pessimistic.
Old Man Brendan
I'm thinking Screamers. The Tunnel Dwellers are a bit gauche for my tastes and the Skulls are lame since BORING-dini took over.
gellaho
Fuck yeah, car phone
Dr Skin, the dandy
"my car is slowly reversing while I make this call, it confuses the shit out of the NSA"
Science God Q Alchemy
God, just had his pulse on the bleeding edge of technology
gdc032
I bet Steele has an awesome pager.
Old Man Brendan
The police can't triangulate you if you drive in circles.
gellaho
"boffed"
Science God Q Alchemy
Gross
gellaho
that's a fun word to use for rape
Science God Q Alchemy
There is so much rape in these books
JUST. SO. MUCH.
gellaho
That first book was very misleading
Dev is losing it
Old Man Brendan
Borodini's leadership style is to explain performance issues and hierarchal structure, teaching his team to think through outcomes for efficient actions.
Science God Q Alchemy
Is there this much rape in suman hawkes star trek books do you think?
Old Man Brendan
Even women can be affected by guilt!
Why's Dev all stressed? Just the work at Project Download?
Science God Q Alchemy
God this asshole
This character sucks why is here?
gellaho
There's another copy of Steele's brain now
Old Man Brendan
So we have two Matrix steeles and one meat Steele?
Plus Stalker.
Dr Skin, the dandy
Steele Skynet is about to come online
Science God Q Alchemy
There's gonna be an army of Steeles like in that resident evil movie
Old Man Brendan
And the Jurassic Park chimera?
Dr Skin, the dandy
The digital steels will download themselves to stalker resolving his schizophrenia
Science God Q Alchemy
They should combine all the minds into a super steele
Dr Skin, the dandy
But they will not have a cock, this will show their inferiority to steele
Old Man Brendan
it would be so funny if Stalker finally found Steele, only to get an OS update right before he draws on him.
gellaho
Steele's brain is giving the psychiatrist therapy now
Dr Skin, the dandy
This is my ending prediction
Old Man Brendan
What's new in the Steele Fall Creators Update? You can now take notes on rape you witness, and Project Download will automatically transcribe to text for Hawke's readers.
Science God Q Alchemy
Why is this steele nice?
gellaho
Good night, sweet prince
Ferroday, ScapeApe
no dick
Old Man Brendan
This Steele was engrammed prior to his two kids' lives absolutely being ruined
Wait no, I like Ferroday's explanation better.
Steele meat parties are so much fun.
Dr Skin, the dandy
#SHIT
#SHIT
#SHIT
............
#WHERE IS MY DICK? ERROR
gellaho
I think program Steele might be escaping to the world wide web
Science God Q Alchemy
Oh God know
Old Man Brendan
{if Dev == asleep;
run 'shit';
Repeat check 0:02}
gellaho
or Lawnmower-manning
Old Man Brendan
That's bad news because Dev's a nerd who owns a 28800bps modem
Steele will be fully uploaded before Bio-War II
gellaho
Old Man Brendan
The Chingo social hierarchy, though complex, is shitty at a glance.
Science God Q Alchemy
Is chingo a racial slur? It sounds vaguely racist
Dr Skin, the dandy
The Chingos, a diverse ethnic group, of erm Hispanics and nobody else
Ferroday, ScapeApe
chingo is spanish for shit
Old Man Brendan
The actual SoHo hierarchy is Swedish tourists on shopping holiday and a diverse mixture of kids standing in line wearing Supreme gear to buy more Supreme gear.
Science God Q Alchemy
Simon hawke has wanted to say the n word many times in his life
Dr Skin, the dandy
I'm not crediting the author with knowing that
gellaho
Apparently they've decided to house son-fucker Victor Borodini
gellaho
And typed it at least once
Ferroday, ScapeApe
wait, Chingo apparently means a lot?
google translate why do you do this to me
Old Man Brendan
Of course Hawke isn't an Oxford comma enthusiast.
Dr Skin, the dandy
Oh yeah, the author threw that into the last book didn't he. What a wildly bad decision.
Science God Q Alchemy
These books are just a series of bad decisions
Old Man Brendan
SoHo's where the first CHUD movie takes place, so I expect some goddamn tunnel dwellers.
gellaho
Note the use of the word "delicious"
Dr Skin, the dandy
I like how the tunnel dwellers resorted to cannibalism while there are still functioning police forces, strip bars and utilities
Ferroday, ScapeApe
I get the feeling Masters really wanted to write a comic book but couldn't convince an artist to help
Dr Skin, the dandy
Can you imagine.
gellaho
Stop. Saying. Daddy.
Dr Skin, the dandy
Borodini is a bastard
gellaho
The chud-ening
Old Man Brendan
there was a SECOND son?
gellaho
Now we get a Hardy Boys-esque removal of danger
gellaho
There were three. The pedophile son died in the last one. Then there was Rick the middle son, who is just competent. And the youngest twink son, who Victor Borodini was fucking
Old Man Brendan
....his own son?
gellaho
ahuh
Old Man Brendan
Good lord.
gellaho
For old time's sake
Science God Q Alchemy
the fact these got published gives me hope for my own terrible novels
gellaho
Steele's daughter is actively trying to get murdered
Science God Q Alchemy
Ravens just kind of disappeared into the background, hasn't she
steele kind of has too
gellaho
Something might happen now
gellaho
She literally hasn't left the apartment
And talks like a suburban mom
Science God Q Alchemy
well as long as she doesn't do anything catastrophically dumb she'll be safe
gellaho
A couple of chapters ago Steele was going into the sewers to find Stalker
That never actually happened
He just commandeered a car from the people Borodini sent to tail him
Science God Q Alchemy
these three books could have been one book i swear
just cut out all the pointless shit
gellaho
You were saying?
Science God Q Alchemy
oh she's so fucked
gellaho
They're also letting Steele's son come with them
Science God Q Alchemy
I really went out on a limb with that earlier comment, glad it panned out.
gellaho
Ice is knocking people out for no reason now
gellaho
Science God Q Alchemy
Ice is a loose canon
this is the fifth time he's done this
he's knows scotts not gonna shoot him
scotts a fucking little bitch
gellaho
I think the two copies of Steele's brain are fucking
Greg Danang Danar Dono
He gets complete access to the dial-up internet and gains the power to fuck around with traffic lights
Science God Q Alchemy
Why did this dumb joke turn out to be what happens in the book?
gellaho
They're definitely perving out
Science God Q Alchemy
maybe check for cameras in the secure facility you're fucking in
gellaho
Cory is having a hard time
Science God Q Alchemy
I meant this one
Two Ak-47s? jesus steele is fucked.
gellaho
A lot of the end of this book seems to be settling up the next one
Science God Q Alchemy
jesus, these books are like the fucking marvel movies
gellaho
And not resolving this one
Science God Q Alchemy
just all set up to the next one
there is not enough that he needed four books for this story
gellaho
Ice just used his special move on Steele's son
Science God Q Alchemy
Ice is so cool, ice should have his own book
just cut out all the cyborg stuff, just have ice solve crimes and fuck
sensitive New Age jakesy
So the next book is going to be Steele vs Computer Steele
I should have known the only man who could take down Steele is Steele himself
Science God Q Alchemy
why isn't that resolved in this book? it is in no way meaty enough for two books.
gellaho
Why stop now?
The Bloodsucker Proxy
The only thing that can stop a bad Steele with a gun is a good Steele with a gun
Science God Q Alchemy
these books are nothing but cliches and rape, held together with world building a five year old would come up with.
a demented five year old
The Bloodsucker Proxy
I've seen five year olds come up with better stories than this, I've read Axe Cop
gellaho
Ice is the only one to have done anything
Science God Q Alchemy
Ah, it's great when the heroes gun fleeing enemies down in the back
gellaho
Turns out the cover of this book is incorrect. The cyborg looks like Mick not a mannequin
Science God Q Alchemy
the cover is symbolic
gellaho
Oh, God. He's trying to talk him down
Science God Q Alchemy
he makes a compelling point, he did say come alone
Raven just completely disregarded that
Greg Danang Danar Dono
I hope every conflict in this series continues to be solved by Ice clocking people
gellaho
An entire police squad also showed up
Greg Danang Danar Dono
All punching the rogue Steele AI in the computer brain
Science God Q Alchemy
If he doesn't kill Cory he'll never have any credibility in the future
they'll all know he's a welcher
he'll know he's a welcher
gellaho
We got a bunch of geniuses here
gellaho
Ice saving the day again
gellaho
This might explain why Steele's face keeps changing
gellaho
"Steel Justice."
Science God Q Alchemy
they let this man be a professional writer
gellaho
These robots have an awful lot of blood
Science God Q Alchemy
they gave the cyborgs extra blood for climactic battles
gellaho
Here's how Steele wins: head kick
gellaho
Then, head punches
gellaho
I guess the daughter died
gellaho
Steele's going to lose all his sad memories
gellaho
And the sequel setup
gellaho
The End.
I guess that daughter only existed to get raped and murdered, so that's fun
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Whee!
And you censored some of the rape for us?
Jesus
gellaho
Science God Q Alchemy
wow, these just keep getting worse huh?
gellaho
Everyone is just miserable and/or horrible
Science God Q Alchemy
You've committed yourself to finishing them, you're now trapped in a hell of your own making
gellaho
This doesn't seem to have anything to do with program Steele
Science God Q Alchemy
I hope there's less rape in this one
gellaho
that would be pretty great
Greg Danang Danar Dono
I am pretty sold on this one
sensitive New Age jakesy
I know I keep bringing this up but this is almost the exact story from Cyberpunk
I think we’re onto CDPRs little secret
Maybe they put in like 30% less rape