A Photon Adventure Novel #5. The All-new Intergalactic Action Series! It's not just a game. It's an adventure...
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gellaho
This week, we continue our Photon journey with A Photon Adventure Novel #5: Photon: The Ultimate Game on Planet Earth: Exile by David Peters. This time it's all about Tivia! And she's purple now for some reason! Will David Peters/Peter David finally succeed in his quest to drive me insane? Find out this Friday, 5pm eastern, as we journey into the disgusting world of men.
gellaho
@Brockway In order to figure out if you are in the 99% of all men who are creeps, or the 1% who have creep tendencies, I'll ask you to pin this please
gellaho
Coming up on the hour, Photon #5. Peter David certainly has a way with words
Every Photon book baffles me
FancyShark
"Good. That's just what I've been looking for."
"Well, there they are."
"Good. That's where I want them to be."
"Then you're in luck."
gellaho
"What is Star Wars? Never heard of it."
FancyShark
"Is it a Crystal Night?"
Even after following you through all the other books, after reading the first one I can't believe they allowed more to be published
gellaho
It somehow got crazier than laser tag Nazis
FancyShark
Right?!
GDC
Mr. Goodscum to the front desk. The front desk is looking for Mr. Goodscum.
icy spicy jakesy
“Bhodi Li moistened his lips before blurting out ‘what’s a walrus?’”
gellaho
You got one more book to go, bud
FancyShark
Paul and Carol, you monsters
gellaho
Be sure to wait on describing your core concept on book 5
FancyShark
He's starting with describing the actual game though. How many steps is it going to take to get to "we restarted the universe"?
gellaho
This is such a weird thing to do on book 5
icy spicy jakesy
Hey kids, Peter David here!
gellaho
I don't know how you can bring yourself to write a page like this
"Jesus, it all looks pretty stupid written all out like that, huh?"
icy spicy jakesy
Maybe this was his attempt to let his editors know how stupid this whole thing has been
“I know you’re not reading this, fuckos”
FancyShark
"I'm going to spell this out to you bastards and dare you to tell me it's cool"
Also, still no good description of Bugarr
gellaho
Hey, dummies
Just in case you started with Photon #5
GDC
For those of you reading in the waiting room of a dentist office
gellaho
Pete wading into lip territory
FancyShark
"Make herself not hysterical. Not let her emotions take hold. Achieve a state of lucid placidity"
gellaho
They have understudy princesses?
icy spicy jakesy
The part of Princess in today’s show will be played by Duria
FancyShark
"Tivia lets us watch movies and eat candy"
gellaho
"Exceptional men"
FancyShark
"Duria, have you ever met Bhodi Li?"
gellaho
You know, like Bhodi Li, the 10 year old nerd, the lizard man, Mr. Potato Head, and the cyborg wizard
FancyShark
To be fair, Parcival will probably conquer the world when he hits 12
gellaho
Ancestresses
FancyShark
"Mom, not everyone is on board with turkey basters"
GDC
Oh no, is earth the descendants of the exiled men?
I am predicting it will be that dumb.
FancyShark
That sounds very very likely
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
I will never get over “Tivia of Nivia”
FancyShark
Master of Trivia
GDC
Powered by Nvidia
icy spicy jakesy
Drinker of Zevia
gellaho
If so, they have the right to be concerned about radical feminists
FancyShark
Destroyer of Chlamydia
gellaho
We don't need men, that's why our planet is less populated than New York
very efficient reproduction
gellaho
FancyShark
"Mom, they don't resent it. There's whole genres of movies based around this"
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Men can fetishize and resent something at the same time, tbf
FancyShark
Okay, true
gellaho
Truly a regal outfit
FancyShark
Yep. Yellow and green
gellaho
Of course, all planets eventually develop the nunchuck
FancyShark
I don't know if "slapping" is the verb to use there
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Thigh high boots, what every warrior wears
FancyShark
10 to 1 they have high heels
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Oh you bet
icy spicy jakesy
Slappin her bangin titties around with homemade nunchucks
FancyShark
"Uh, Peter? She's still 17"
gellaho
Good to see that the names on Nivia follow the feminine naming convention of the romance languages
I'll be surprised if I encounter a name not ending in "a"
FancyShark
Centura was destined to be old, wasn't she?
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
It’s definitely just a discount Themyscara
gellaho
"My stars, a man!?"
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
When not dressed for battle there is zero chance they’re not walking around in flowy, empire-waisted dresses
Sandals
icy spicy jakesy
Lol the backup princess was doing it for the clout
gellaho
Peter, I'm not sure you know what you are doing
FancyShark
No, go ahead, Peter. You've got this
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Oh no, this is about to get real dumb, isn’t it?
gellaho
Probably
Reminder: this is Lydia's favorite author
Greg
Duria is a rad go-kart racer or something and is super cranky that she's going to have to attend space galas and meet with space dignitaries
gellaho
Yeah, there's no way Christopher Jarvis/Bhodi Li is muscular
FancyShark
Duria's going to be pissed when she hears about durian fruits
Greg
I'll never stop loving how dope everyone thinks Bhodi is despite his every word, thought and action sucking so much
gellaho
"I'M GOING TO LOOK LIKE SUCH A NERD IF I DON'T GO TO IHOP, DAD!"
FancyShark
It's like the whole series is pranking us
"If I can't have a Rootie Tootie Fresh N Fruitie, I'm basically a virgin for life!"
Greg
Why do you give a shit Bhodi? The universe is a sick game of some B-tier watchers. You have a space girlfriend! You were named Murdarr like 7 days ago
Who gives a shit about IHOP
gellaho
Bhodi Li is the dumbest person who ever lived
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Ahahaha I was going to make some crack about the boy whining about prom
FancyShark
You have literally met God
gellaho
Dude was literally at D-Day and is complaining about not being able to go to prom
Junior prom
HE. MET. HITLER.
Greg
You're fucking lucky I have to go to space to fight Hitlarr, dad
FancyShark
He met Churchill
Greg
Didn't know who Churchill was though
FancyShark
He didn't know who Hitler was either!
Fucking...he didn't know what D-Day was despite his grandpa telling him in agonizing detail
gellaho
FancyShark
goddammit Peter
gellaho
The creators of Superman, Peter David? Really
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
What?
Greg
To be fair who cares about earth wars. He might be really knowledgeable in the Blarkiab conflicts of Scramvlaws fourth moon
FancyShark
Siegel and Shuster
gellaho
He's riding his bike to play laser tag, and he's so mad that he can't go to IHOP that he wrecked his bike
because he's 8 years old
FancyShark
Who were also Jewish, so Bhodi probably never heard of them
gellaho
I feel like this crack about Bhodi Li's action figure's hair is a reference
But I ain't gonna look into Photon action figures
Greg
That's the line you won't cross?
gellaho
yes
Every cover has him with blond hair, and this book said it was dark so I don't even know what color it's supposed to be
Greg
gellaho
Does his hair color change when he becomes Bhodi Li?
Tivia's fucking skin color changes, I don't care about his hair color
Greg
It might just be shitty stilted dialogue
And not a clever little Marvel style nod
gellaho
What did it take to get fired as a comic writer
gellaho
You spoke too soon
GDC
Each piece of this action figure comes from re-using the mold of a different action figure.
FancyShark
Sorry. I'm assuming that's what you meant
gellaho
Greg
Hahaha
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Well, I mean the whole thing was kinda baffling. Like he ate shit because he wasn’t paying attention, immediately recovered (superhumanly?) and then continued riding around recklessly
FancyShark
lol, true
gellaho
Peter, either explain it or don't explain it
Pick a lane
FancyShark
"I kill everyone and drop clones in place when I send you back, Bhodi"
gellaho
I don't think Peter David knows what slacks are
gellaho
Some Kind of Wizard
that's a vaseline dispenser.
FancyShark
He's completely smooth. Like a doll
Greg
Son, why do you have a laser blast wound?
gellaho
What a tremendous moron
icy spicy jakesy
Exiled into oblivia
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
“Whose face was the most mobile”? What the fuck does that mean?
gellaho
Just the dumbest person
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
This, this exceptional male specimen…I must mate with him immediately
FancyShark
"That selfish asshole! Why would she do this to me?"
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Is Tivia just really into himbos?
gellaho
Maybe
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
I mean, I get it
gellaho
They kissed in the second book and he still is like "buh, what she luvs me?"
FancyShark
She's gotta be pretty desperate
gellaho
"we've only made out several times?"
FancyShark
I do hope we find out Leon's been pining for Bhodi this whole time
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
He saw Bhodi and Tivia making out and ran away crying
gellaho
The dumbest protagonist
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Bhodi, what?
FancyShark
"You fucking idiot. I don't know why I ever loved you"
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Also, Leon with the clap back
GDC
Bhodi Li does not read the prepared briefing.
gellaho
Fuck, he's so stupid
"We go underwater in spaceship? How we breathe?"
FancyShark
Leon is catty as hell and I love him for it
gellaho
This is just idiocy after idiocy
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
I like that the other characters are fed up with his shit
FancyShark
Everyone's dumping on him. It's like they finally heard us
gellaho
Jesus Christ
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
HAHAHAHA oh my god
FancyShark
By the end of this, they're just going to be pummeling him with pipes and hammers as a group
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
The most exceptional man!
FancyShark
Christ, Tivia. Have some fucking standards
gellaho
Bhodi remembered when Tivia said she loved him, even though he was confused about that two minutes ago
FancyShark
"Huh, I guess we had the ingredients of a relationship. But...nah, just my imagination"
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
This is outta control
gellaho
Ice cream cones without the ice cream. Or: cones
FancyShark
Maybe all the head trauma is catching up with him
GDC
He is so bad at describing things.
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
So he’s traveled all over space and time
And he still expects things to be like they are in comics
gellaho
This is a 17 year old who didn't know anything about Hitler or WWII even though his grandfather talked about it constantly
FancyShark
"What the hell? I can't fuck any of these fish"
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Maybe if you gave him a WWII comic instead of jawing off, grandpa
gellaho
Here's Pike, the shapeshifter Mr Potato Head, being confused by a hologram not needing to breathe
Every other time we've encountered Warriarr, he's immediately been punked out. Let's see what happens this time
FancyShark
"...I lost my best friends on the beaches of Normandy"
"Whatever, old man"
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
“The horrors I saw in the camps…” “I went to camp too! I like canoes”
gellaho
Jesus, Warriarr sucks
gellaho
Bhodi Li literally saved his grandmother from the trains taking her to a concentration camp and did not recognize her appearance or name
FancyShark
Be thankful, Warriarr. If Peter had ever seen hentai, you'd be begging for death right now
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
So this dude appears for like 1 page just to be eaten by a squid. Cool story bro
gellaho
Yay, they recharged the Photon crystal. Why are you wasting my time with this, Peter.
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Bleblublins
Perfect. No notes
gellaho
The Warlord of Arr appears to be breaking up with the Arrians
FancyShark
Why is Warriarr drenched if it was a hologram? Did he swim in a pool for verisimilitude?
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
“It’s not you, it’s me”
GDC
I just think we want different things out of this.
gellaho
Hey, Peter. Don't do footnotes
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Oh come on, it’s not like this is easy for me
FancyShark
"People change. That's just a fact of life"
gellaho
I hope you liked Chapter 4
FancyShark
hahahaha
gellaho
It was three pages long
FancyShark
Okay, bets right now: is the pun going to be 'regulated' or 'registered'?
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
I thought it was a dig at guys named Reggie
gellaho
Tivia begins her conversion to tomboy
gellaho
I hope you weren't expecting a payoff
FancyShark
DAMN YOU, PETER!!!
gellaho
The only option after being expelled from the world of women is pretend to be a man
FancyShark
So she looks like a punk girl with pubes on her face
gellaho
Parcival is a 10 year old black orphan who lives on Interstellar, the Photon headquarters
for some reason, that's not an option for the former princess
GDC
Yeah, MOM really dropping the ball here.
FancyShark
CPS has MOM under surveillance. She can't take on more wards right now
GDC
You can tell how serious this warrior woman is because she took the incredibly drastic step of taking off her mascara.
gellaho
And you have to address the tits
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Tiv, you need a proper binder. Using an elastic wrap is dangerous
FancyShark
Dangerous in a harmful way or a wardrobe-malfunction way?
gellaho
Tivia is immediately propositioned by a prostitute
FancyShark
Although the word 'thin' makes it sound like she's using bungee cord
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Harmful. I was half joking but folks who use ACE bandages and stuff to bind can cut off circulation, etc
gellaho
I know the first book had Hitler in it, but these are supposed to sell laser tag to children
I shouldn't be surprised, and yet I am
FancyShark
"Pete, we're cutting the chapter where Tivia gets offered a blowie in an alleyway if she can spare some heroin"
gellaho
I do not understand this plan
Greg
A little late but here's Warriarr
FancyShark
His posture sucks
GDC
"Here's some Star Wars molds that came out off-model. You can use them for your laser tag line."
FancyShark
So Tivia's plan is to see the worst men possible to scare her not-straight?
gellaho
Shots for the 17 year old
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
That’s how gay works, right?
FancyShark
It must. It's not like it could happen naturally
gellaho
Reenar: the fiercest name Peter could think of
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Only men do shots, apparently. I’ll have to tell all the college girls that hang out in the bars downstairs
FancyShark
Ironically, Reenar has kidney problems
gellaho
I literally don't understand why she can't just go hang out with the Photon gang
which is all she's been doing
icy spicy jakesy
Hes the embodiment of renal failure
GDC
Reenar rhymes with wiener.
icy spicy jakesy
If that was your joke and I stepped on it, forgive me
But also these colors don’t run and I have no regrets
FancyShark
haha, you're good dude
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
U-S-A! FOUR O CLOCK!
gellaho
Names are hard
FancyShark
Two of these companions would later get sued by Neil Gaiman
GDC
The other three apparently went on to draw x-men comics?
icy spicy jakesy
Skeritt you say
This reminds me
https://youtu.be/6X9tBHX_Fl4
FancyShark
Don't link that! Tivia's trying to see the worst men
GDC
Exceptional Men.
gellaho
Tivia is unfamiliar with these emo-tions, even though there's no reason for that to be the case
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Ok I don’t know the context but that’s clearly a nod to some dudes named “Sienkewicz” and “McFarlane” and I feel like you coulda just left that out man
You didn’t have to stuff your buddies’ names in there
FancyShark
"I'm writing about an underage girl and I thought of you guys!"
gellaho
There was a Raiders of the Lost Arc reference in Photon #1, Peter David refuses
icy spicy jakesy
It’s like how all the Steele books have the character George T.T. Marvin
FancyShark
Tivia did at least learn that men never betray other men
gellaho
Meanwhile, Bhodi asks Tivia's mom if he can take her to Junior Prom
icy spicy jakesy
gellaho
Legend
icy spicy jakesy
Hahahaha
FancyShark
I hope Bhodi gets one of his tits cut off, gets lectured on this rumored Amazonian practice and bleeds out
icy spicy jakesy
Bhodi Li, seer of god and destroyer of worlds, is still thinking about prom
FancyShark
Maybe if things go really well, he'll take Tivia to the IHOP
gellaho
It goes about as well as expected
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
I’m wondering if Peter David writes Bhodi like a dipshit because he’s 17
FancyShark
There's strong evidence Peter's working through some personal issues in these books
gellaho
The third book was about two computers called MOM and DAD fighting, so yeah
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Haha
GDC
Well it sounds silly when you put it that way.
gellaho
Everyone in Photon is a moron
FancyShark
"We still use windows and visual tracking"
icy spicy jakesy
The guy at the Space Guard Shack can’t even see it!
GDC
They were surprised when he put it on his space ship because they had all been eating it.
gellaho
I guess pirate iconography is universal
FancyShark
What kind of skull, Pete?
gellaho
The fact that there is a literal space pirate Arrian named Pirarr in addition to this shit is staggering
FancyShark
Waalt was named right as his parents stubbed their toes
gellaho
His descriptions are so unhelpful
FancyShark
So...orc?
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Orc
icy spicy jakesy
How much you wanna bet the big reveal is that he’s actually Reenarr
FancyShark
I'll give Pete this one. An orc offering a cookie is charming
gellaho
Oh, hey. Pirarr
Who would have guessed
FancyShark
Warriarr shouldn't really be throwing shade with his record
gellaho
It's also impossible to recognize someone by their upper face
The eyes aren't the window to the soul after all
gellaho
Jesus, Warriarr sucks
FancyShark
See?!
Warriarr probably is only allowed safety scissors
GDC
"See, this is why you can't go places in person."
FancyShark
He had more arms before the thresher incident
gellaho
The Arrians suck so hard
Listen, we have to team up to defeat this group of six. Three of them are children!
FancyShark
Reenar really knows how to wring the shame out of these guys
gellaho
I'm liking Reenar
icy spicy jakesy
Hahaha
FancyShark
It took five books, but we finally have a likable character
GDC
Reenar is what is known as the "audience insert".
gellaho
MEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN!
FancyShark
If she wanted an example of male toxicity, she should have just gone on Twitter and stated an opinion on video games
or anything really
gellaho
MEANWHILE: Bhodi Li interacts with a female member of his own species
icy spicy jakesy
Does dated mean banged
How do you date someone a few times
gellaho
Bhodi would figure it out
there's no way he's had sex
FancyShark
IHOP, IHOP, Laser Tag, IHOP, Laser Tag
icy spicy jakesy
Haha busy schedule
gellaho
text adventure, arguing with sister, read comic books, Photon
FancyShark
We've seen he's a shitty teammate, so those laser tag dates definitely involved him telling her she'll never win
FancyShark
ignoring grandpa's stories
gellaho
MEANWHILE: the names ending with a continue on Nivia
Oh, and they're planning to overthrow the Queen
FancyShark
gasp!
icy spicy jakesy
Smash the Matriarchy!
gellaho
Lol @ Denise
FancyShark
Install a Matriarchy!
icy spicy jakesy
Hahahaha MOM says I can’t
FancyShark
Oh, Denise. You can do so much better
Wait! I've got it!
gellaho
I demand the footnotes stop
FancyShark
Peter David is Greg Wright!
FancyShark
What makes you think we didn't stop searching?
gellaho
Peter, stay focused on the Tivia story
FancyShark
Oh right. The perpetually unguarded supply ships
gellaho
The fuck is happening
icy spicy jakesy
Markotrafico
GDC
Photonium is the laziest sounding name for made up stuff.
gellaho
When you don't understand what a photon is, you can do whatever you want
icy spicy jakesy
Unobtanium is still undefeated
FancyShark
I feel like Pete's talking to us with that last line
gellaho
I don't understand the biker's worst nightmare simile
FancyShark
Bikers fear gimps
gellaho
You really gotta figure out Tivia's skin color guy
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
And both fear the clown
gellaho
A lot of what I'm reading right now is just Tivia on the pirate ship in the past. The pirate captain decides to lay a trap for the Photon Guardians
Mostly information you could infer from that last page
FancyShark
Any more of Reenar being cool?
icy spicy jakesy
When she says “it’s a trap?”
gellaho
He's hanging out with Pirarr, so no
FancyShark
dang it
gellaho
One 17 year old against a ship full of pirates
This cross dressing operation was barely anything
FancyShark
She's still kicking more ass in this one page than she's been allowed to in the past four books
gellaho
Turns out Skerritt is a Nivian man
FancyShark
Huh
icy spicy jakesy
Well there goes the naming convention
FancyShark
But it fits with Geralt of Rivia
gellaho
I'm not a biologist, but I'm not sure how you have alive Nivian men without women
GDC
I love the idea of them being fooled by the "effective" disguise of some patchy pubes glued to her face.
FancyShark
The purge of men was, like, two months ago
icy spicy jakesy
There’s a reproductive machine that harvests the man yogurt from somewhere
Activia I assume
gellaho
Skerritt helps Tivia escape, and has a very confusing conversation
I'm not clear on how he knows hundreds of Nivian women
icy spicy jakesy
I think we found what the real reproductive machine technology is
FancyShark
He's got downloads
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Why didn’t he say “our” species?
gellaho
I demand you stop, Peter
icy spicy jakesy
“Oh yeah it’s a reproductive machine, just wait for the uhhhh mechanism to come out of the hole”
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
He said “your species” and “my species”
gellaho
I'm not sure Peter David even understands what he's doing
FancyShark
He read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and thought he'd found a great idea
icy spicy jakesy
I’m still laughing at the idea that a few dozen nivian men sold reproductive machines to the whole planet where it’s just a guy in a stall with a glory hole
gellaho
They call them "Birthing Centers"
FancyShark
"Dickspensers" didn't test as well
gellaho
Tivia is also real dumb
FancyShark
"Face pubes are my thing. Who knew?"
icy spicy jakesy
“What gave it away? Was it the tits?”
gellaho
Tivia gets rescued
icy spicy jakesy
Friendzoned, motherfucker
FancyShark
Haha, get rekt Bhodi
icy spicy jakesy
Eat shit Bhodi
FancyShark
Tivia prefers men that are allowed to go to the IHOP
gellaho
Fuck you
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Who doesn’t tho
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
I hate this
gellaho
Skerritt breaks the hologram's back
Somehow
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
I hate this so much
gellaho
He's real bad
RIP Skerritt, also a moron
FancyShark
Even in her own book, Tivia just gets sidelined
icy spicy jakesy
I love how everyone just constantly forgets about the projectons
FancyShark
It's literally their only move. It shouldn't be hard to remember
gellaho
Dues Ex Ladies
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
I think anytime Peter forgot, he would just write in that the character forgot, oops the opposite of what happened, happened
And just go from there
New story
gellaho
Skerritt, in his final moments, tells Tivia how much he wanted to bone her
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Bravo, Skerritt
FancyShark
Skerritt died with statutory confessions on his lips
gellaho
Just enough time for Warriarr to eat shit one more time
FancyShark
Warriarr...just...let it go, man. Find another job
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
It’s weird that this is half teenage romance, half Starlord adventure, and the way the two are being combined makes me uncomfortable
icy spicy jakesy
Projectonnnnnnnnnnnns!!!
FancyShark
Yeah. There's a lot of stuff Pete didn't really think through with this
gellaho
Tivia fights Reenar on top of a volcano
gellaho
icy spicy jakesy
Hahaha dammit
Beat me to it
gellaho
I always have Steele at hand
icy spicy jakesy
Should have known not to come at the champ
FancyShark
Okay, Tivia's berserking is actually fucking sweet
gellaho
Thank God for flimsy shirts
icy spicy jakesy
Tits out for the boys
gellaho
Lopsided smiles for all
FancyShark
"And it's having to endure any more of you"
gellaho
Hey, Tivia. You saw the holocaust. Go fuck yourself
You saw one member of your species die
icy spicy jakesy
Possible the only man in existence not trapped in a glory hole
FancyShark
Oddly, few complaints from the other men
gellaho
It's hard to take her rage too seriously when this follows Nazis and the universe ending
FancyShark
Some of it could be pent-up rage from the other books
icy spicy jakesy
Following up nazis and the end of time with a palace intrigue story is a bold decision
gellaho
"As long as you are one of the good ones"
icy spicy jakesy
Hahahah
Honorary women
Fantastic
FancyShark
"Okay, whip 'em out on the table. I'll get the knife"
gellaho
She no longer has hideous short hair
GDC
Having put her mascara back on, Bhodi tells her how much better she looks like this, without makeup.
gellaho
Does your planet not teach you about puberty, Tivia?
You're 17, shut up
FancyShark
Unless she just hit puberty
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
I mean, lots of American kids don’t really learn about puberty
gellaho
Well, if Jiffypop didn't work, I'm out of idears
gellaho
PETER STOP IT
FancyShark
Grandpa's still in the corner, remembering the sight of a 15-year-old boy who lied about his age to enlist trying to shovel his guts back in
gellaho
That's not an instinct
gellaho
You're playing laser tag
Calm down about the seventeen year old, Peter
Also: she's a goddamn alien
FancyShark
Oh now she's black
gellaho
The alien warrior princess does not have a handbag and evening gown
Bhodi Li's dad is willing to cuck him
GDC
Seventeen years old, Richard.
FancyShark
The Jarvis' marriage is not doing well
GDC
:NarcApe:
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
OH MY GOD
:NarcApe:
gellaho
Giving up on that plan, Bhodi Li's dad works on getting his son laid
gellaho
Buh
FancyShark
Al lost his genitals that night
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Poor Greg Wright
gellaho
Coming up next time, can it be true? A book about Lord Baethan?
FancyShark
Yessss
Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story
Nice
gellaho
Photon #5: Exile has been defeated!
Only one more Peter David Photon book to go
then there's the prequel written by some other dude
FancyShark
Thanks again @gellaho !
GDC
Thanks!
Cheap Hoagie Slut Mo
thanks again, as usual I only tuned in to giggle at the occasional joke and bad prose because I do NOT have the attention span for these
but, man, I love that goofy read-alongs are just a thing that happens here
gellaho
It's a great way for me to decompress before the weekend
FancyShark
Yeah. It starts it off on a high note
Greg
I come and go but always read through the excerpts and chatter
Thanks for another good one*
*good night of jokes, the book was unbelievably dumb
Cheap Hoagie Slut Mo
yeah by 5PM Friday I don't have the mental energy left to read through consistently but it's really funny peeking in at the nonsense
icy spicy jakesy
“Might be a little tight in the inseam son” he said with a wink at Tivia”
