23: Exile David Peters

icy spicy jakesy

Hahaha

FancyShark

It took five books, but we finally have a likable character

GDC

Reenar is what is known as the "audience insert".

gellaho

MEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN!

FancyShark

If she wanted an example of male toxicity, she should have just gone on Twitter and stated an opinion on video games

or anything really

gellaho

MEANWHILE: Bhodi Li interacts with a female member of his own species

icy spicy jakesy

Does dated mean banged

How do you date someone a few times

gellaho

Bhodi would figure it out

there's no way he's had sex

FancyShark

IHOP, IHOP, Laser Tag, IHOP, Laser Tag

icy spicy jakesy

Haha busy schedule

gellaho

text adventure, arguing with sister, read comic books, Photon

FancyShark

We've seen he's a shitty teammate, so those laser tag dates definitely involved him telling her she'll never win

FancyShark

ignoring grandpa's stories

gellaho

MEANWHILE: the names ending with a continue on Nivia

Oh, and they're planning to overthrow the Queen

FancyShark

gasp!

icy spicy jakesy

Smash the Matriarchy!

gellaho

Lol @ Denise

FancyShark

Install a Matriarchy!

icy spicy jakesy

Hahahaha MOM says I can’t

FancyShark

Oh, Denise. You can do so much better

Wait! I've got it!

gellaho

I demand the footnotes stop

FancyShark

Peter David is Greg Wright!

FancyShark

What makes you think we didn't stop searching?

gellaho

Peter, stay focused on the Tivia story

FancyShark

Oh right. The perpetually unguarded supply ships

gellaho

The fuck is happening

icy spicy jakesy

Markotrafico

GDC

Photonium is the laziest sounding name for made up stuff.

gellaho

When you don't understand what a photon is, you can do whatever you want

icy spicy jakesy

Unobtanium is still undefeated

FancyShark

I feel like Pete's talking to us with that last line

gellaho

I don't understand the biker's worst nightmare simile

FancyShark

Bikers fear gimps

gellaho

You really gotta figure out Tivia's skin color guy

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

And both fear the clown

gellaho

A lot of what I'm reading right now is just Tivia on the pirate ship in the past. The pirate captain decides to lay a trap for the Photon Guardians

Mostly information you could infer from that last page

FancyShark

Any more of Reenar being cool?

icy spicy jakesy

When she says “it’s a trap?”

gellaho

He's hanging out with Pirarr, so no

FancyShark

dang it

gellaho

One 17 year old against a ship full of pirates

This cross dressing operation was barely anything

FancyShark

She's still kicking more ass in this one page than she's been allowed to in the past four books

gellaho

Turns out Skerritt is a Nivian man

FancyShark

Huh

icy spicy jakesy

Well there goes the naming convention

FancyShark

But it fits with Geralt of Rivia

gellaho

I'm not a biologist, but I'm not sure how you have alive Nivian men without women

GDC

I love the idea of them being fooled by the "effective" disguise of some patchy pubes glued to her face.

FancyShark

The purge of men was, like, two months ago

icy spicy jakesy

There’s a reproductive machine that harvests the man yogurt from somewhere

Activia I assume

gellaho

Skerritt helps Tivia escape, and has a very confusing conversation

I'm not clear on how he knows hundreds of Nivian women

icy spicy jakesy

I think we found what the real reproductive machine technology is

FancyShark

He's got downloads

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

Why didn’t he say “our” species?

gellaho

I demand you stop, Peter

icy spicy jakesy

“Oh yeah it’s a reproductive machine, just wait for the uhhhh mechanism to come out of the hole”

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

He said “your species” and “my species”

gellaho

I'm not sure Peter David even understands what he's doing

FancyShark

He read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and thought he'd found a great idea

icy spicy jakesy

I’m still laughing at the idea that a few dozen nivian men sold reproductive machines to the whole planet where it’s just a guy in a stall with a glory hole

gellaho

They call them "Birthing Centers"

FancyShark

"Dickspensers" didn't test as well

gellaho

Tivia is also real dumb

FancyShark

"Face pubes are my thing. Who knew?"

icy spicy jakesy

“What gave it away? Was it the tits?”

gellaho

Tivia gets rescued

icy spicy jakesy

Friendzoned, motherfucker

FancyShark

Haha, get rekt Bhodi

icy spicy jakesy

Eat shit Bhodi

FancyShark

Tivia prefers men that are allowed to go to the IHOP

gellaho

Fuck you

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

Who doesn’t tho

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

I hate this

gellaho

Skerritt breaks the hologram's back

Somehow

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

I hate this so much

gellaho

He's real bad

RIP Skerritt, also a moron

FancyShark

Even in her own book, Tivia just gets sidelined

icy spicy jakesy

I love how everyone just constantly forgets about the projectons

FancyShark

It's literally their only move. It shouldn't be hard to remember

gellaho

Dues Ex Ladies

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

I think anytime Peter forgot, he would just write in that the character forgot, oops the opposite of what happened, happened

And just go from there

New story

gellaho

Skerritt, in his final moments, tells Tivia how much he wanted to bone her

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

Bravo, Skerritt

FancyShark

Skerritt died with statutory confessions on his lips

gellaho

Just enough time for Warriarr to eat shit one more time

FancyShark

Warriarr...just...let it go, man. Find another job

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

It’s weird that this is half teenage romance, half Starlord adventure, and the way the two are being combined makes me uncomfortable

icy spicy jakesy

Projectonnnnnnnnnnnns!!!

FancyShark

Yeah. There's a lot of stuff Pete didn't really think through with this

gellaho

Tivia fights Reenar on top of a volcano

gellaho

icy spicy jakesy

Hahaha dammit

Beat me to it

gellaho

I always have Steele at hand

icy spicy jakesy

Should have known not to come at the champ

FancyShark

Okay, Tivia's berserking is actually fucking sweet

gellaho

Thank God for flimsy shirts

icy spicy jakesy

Tits out for the boys

gellaho

Lopsided smiles for all

FancyShark

"And it's having to endure any more of you"

gellaho

Hey, Tivia. You saw the holocaust. Go fuck yourself

You saw one member of your species die

icy spicy jakesy

Possible the only man in existence not trapped in a glory hole

FancyShark

Oddly, few complaints from the other men

gellaho

It's hard to take her rage too seriously when this follows Nazis and the universe ending

FancyShark

Some of it could be pent-up rage from the other books

icy spicy jakesy

Following up nazis and the end of time with a palace intrigue story is a bold decision

gellaho

"As long as you are one of the good ones"

icy spicy jakesy

Hahahah

Honorary women

Fantastic

FancyShark

"Okay, whip 'em out on the table. I'll get the knife"

gellaho

She no longer has hideous short hair

GDC

Having put her mascara back on, Bhodi tells her how much better she looks like this, without makeup.

gellaho

Does your planet not teach you about puberty, Tivia?

You're 17, shut up

FancyShark

Unless she just hit puberty

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

I mean, lots of American kids don’t really learn about puberty

gellaho

Well, if Jiffypop didn't work, I'm out of idears

gellaho

PETER STOP IT

FancyShark

Grandpa's still in the corner, remembering the sight of a 15-year-old boy who lied about his age to enlist trying to shovel his guts back in

gellaho

That's not an instinct

gellaho

You're playing laser tag

Calm down about the seventeen year old, Peter

Also: she's a goddamn alien

FancyShark

Oh now she's black

gellaho

The alien warrior princess does not have a handbag and evening gown

Bhodi Li's dad is willing to cuck him

GDC

Seventeen years old, Richard.

FancyShark

The Jarvis' marriage is not doing well

GDC

:NarcApe:

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

OH MY GOD

:NarcApe:

gellaho

Giving up on that plan, Bhodi Li's dad works on getting his son laid

gellaho

Buh

FancyShark

Al lost his genitals that night

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

Poor Greg Wright

gellaho

Coming up next time, can it be true? A book about Lord Baethan?

FancyShark

Yessss

Adrienne, the Joe Magadatz story

Nice

gellaho

Photon #5: Exile has been defeated!

Only one more Peter David Photon book to go

then there's the prequel written by some other dude

FancyShark

Thanks again @gellaho !

GDC

Thanks!

Cheap Hoagie Slut Mo

thanks again, as usual I only tuned in to giggle at the occasional joke and bad prose because I do NOT have the attention span for these

but, man, I love that goofy read-alongs are just a thing that happens here

gellaho

It's a great way for me to decompress before the weekend

FancyShark

Yeah. It starts it off on a high note

Greg

I come and go but always read through the excerpts and chatter

Thanks for another good one*

*good night of jokes, the book was unbelievably dumb

Cheap Hoagie Slut Mo

yeah by 5PM Friday I don't have the mental energy left to read through consistently but it's really funny peeking in at the nonsense

icy spicy jakesy

“Might be a little tight in the inseam son” he said with a wink at Tivia”

God dammit dad!