26: The Hardy Boys Casefiles #51: Choke Hold Franklin W. Dixon

FancyShark

"The Aristocrats!"

gellaho

More attempted murder

FancyShark

Remember to tenderize your victim before shooting them so the bullet goes through easier

gellaho

These children keep getting beat up by grown ass men, they should be in the hospital

FancyShark

So, Frank's now deafened by having a gun go off inches from his unprotected ears, right?

gellaho

Sure

FancyShark

Seems like you could go to the cops at this point, boys. Boys...?

gellaho

What? No, what?

FancyShark

That's...that can't be how that works

gellaho

None of this makes sense

Shark Puke Fetishist GDC

Frank Dixon does not understand kayfabe.

FancyShark

If a steroid campaign can steal your wrestling org's thunder, you are a terrible showman

gellaho

These two get snuck up on a lot

gellaho

"Sweet, sweet chloroform"

FancyShark

"Oh yeah. That's the good stuff"

gellaho

These two have done nearly nothing so far

FancyShark

No need to shoot them or kill them with any of the accident-prone equipment at the gym

gellaho

They immediately leave the room they were dumped in

gellaho

STAKES!

FancyShark

Sore wrists!

gellaho

OK, I guess the rival wrestling company did it

FancyShark

Always? That must be dull

gellaho

Ahahahaha, heart attack drug

FancyShark

hahaha

gellaho

If you are trying to frame Major Disaster, why make it also look like a heart attack

FancyShark

"Yeah, you're right. We should just sell the company."

"We tried that!"

gellaho

Also, why are these other wrestlers going along with this

What are they getting out of it

FancyShark

They can't break character

gellaho

Like, the Living Weapon hasn't even had any lines

I know nothing about him, he just stands next to East

FancyShark

Once you join a wrestling company, you follow them to the grave

gellaho

The Hardys have already called the cops, I'd suggest leaving, "The Living Weapon"

gellaho

You technically haven't done anything yet

You might get some time for conspiracy, but murdering kids will be worse

I bet if you roll on East they'll commute the sentence

FancyShark

No way. He's an East man through and through.

East in, East out

gellaho

I guess the Romans did not want to help?

FancyShark

"You got this, Weapon!"

gellaho

Huh?

FancyShark

"Actually, sir..."

Wait, did you think they were carrying the guns to hit people?

gellaho

Are they going out guns blazing?

FancyShark

East then forbids them from firing out of fear of bringing the cops down on them

gellaho

I guess they're 50s gangsters now

FancyShark

His powerful, perfectly-normal-size-for-a-man-his-age gun

gellaho

This has taken a strange turn

gellaho

Frank waving the white flag like it's the Civil War, Joe talking like Bugs Bunny

FancyShark

"Sure, I have no reason to question you, only people freely moving at the scene"

gellaho

But the needle boots are here, and not at the wrestling event

gellaho

Why would they have made multiple pairs of needle boots

FancyShark

Stop the match! Disaster is only going to throw that one move over and over! It's too boring!

FancyShark

They were too shy to ask Disaster his boot size, so they made different sizes

gellaho

Stealing a police van, smart

FancyShark

That officer had a fun report to fill out

gellaho

Oh, no consequences for that, cool

FancyShark

The match started and there are still enough fans to clog all the arena entrances? How are they almost bankrupt?

Do they give away a free house with every tenth ticket?

gellaho

The common thing crowds chant: "Unfair!"

FancyShark

"Disingenuous!"

Frank Dixon has totally seen wrestling shows

gellaho

I'm sure they did

FancyShark

That was going to happen anyway

che jakesy, sports revolutionary

Oh fuck it’s Hardy boys time. I am three bottles of wine deep on vacation for the weekend and it’s getting messy over here

gellaho

you missed an Ice

FancyShark

You're just in time to see Joe try to stop a pro wrestler from murdering another one with a heart attack drug on a needle in his boot

gellaho

Whatever ends up happening, I think the good Major still needs to go to prison

FancyShark

That female voice better be Missy

gellaho

That's not how that works

FancyShark

Just like in the script...?

gellaho

Pick a lane, ghost writer. Is it real or not?

FancyShark

The best way to defeat someone is with children

gellaho

I love that the first instinct of anyone in these books is murder threats

FancyShark

How powerful is this anti-steroid campaign? Sammy wasn't going to name Walsh

gellaho

"But why were the wrestlers helping East?"

"Don't worry about that."

FancyShark

Their fighting style of using a gun?

gellaho

You know how the police always call your rivals when they arrest you?

FancyShark

It's required by law

And you can't "slap back" a high five, Dixon

gellaho

And we end with another girl slipping through Joe's fingers

FancyShark

Or just drive to her house and recognize her brother

gellaho

We have defeated The Hardy Boys Casefiles (tm) #51: Choke Hold

gellaho

So concludes another edition of The Book Cage

gellaho

Next Week: The Conclusion of Peter David's run of Photon

FancyShark

Hell yeah. Thanks @gellaho !

Gentleman Brendan

I missed this because I was drinking ok someone else's dime. Few regrets.

Mo's Over, Synergy

I missed it because I was feeling lousy and reading felt bad 😦

Evil J

these keep happening while im at work

gellaho

Well, you missed 50 counts of attempted murder

Mo's Over, Synergy

sounds like the book was exciting, too