Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
When was this published?
52: Decision at Doona Anne McCaffrey
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A fateful encounter between star-roving races, by the author of the Hugo-winning novel DRAGONFLIGHT!
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FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
1969
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
They also make sure to sound out a line of airhorns before each door opens
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Huh, these alien cats predate the ones in Larry Niven books, Star trek, and Wing commander.
gellaho
Spicy wife, spicy life
Gentleman Brendan
I, the reader, am curious why they can't contacttheship.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
And with that, the gargoyles emerged
gellaho
Everybody hates Ken's son
gellaho
Possibly because Todd is a sociopath
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
The kid's head splits in half and a shrieking maw of teeth erupts out, demanding fruit snacks
Oh, good. A psycho child is perfect when there's a bunch of cats around
gellaho
Oh, 1969
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
If he spent more time with his kids he would have known to expect shots to the sack from kids that age.
gellaho
Hell yeah, party Todd
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Better hope the kid suicides soon
gellaho
Future child care seems fun
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
"he was passed out and foaming at the mouth when I imprisoned him. I'm sure he's fine."
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
CTE is the best babysitter of all
gellaho
Uh oh, Anne
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
oh no
oooohhh noooooo
gellaho
Mass suicide caused by a pronunciation mistake
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
That's a fucking magic spell, Anne
This is Social Anxiety, the Book
gellaho
You know, Anne, I'd expect you to have a better idea than this
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Something tells me the author was called Anncaff at some point.
gellaho
Todd's on the loose
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Todd's going to cause a race war. Every parent's nightmare.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Either that or he'll come home crying with a face full of scratch marks.
gellaho
Todd has magic language powers. But still grabs tails
Gentleman Brendan
"Slapped my kid harder than I meant to" is probably a much worse impression to make on aliens.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Todd grabs some rebar and a scalpel, determined to have a tail
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Hrrestan's done more actual parenting with Todd than his parents.
gellaho
Uh oh, Todd's a furry
Gentleman Brendan
Maybe this is anthrocentric but if your species can't countenance a single, struggling mistake from an outsider, stay on your home planet.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Todd is one step closer to creating 4chan
He's already a furry and an amoral monster
gellaho
Hrrula thinks that pulling tails is the sign of a great leader
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
"My kid's a failure. Go to hell, spacecat."
gellaho
DAMN YOU BRIDGE!
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
BRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDGGGGGE!
Just so we're clear, the entirety of the conflict so far is worrying about offending people and depression over a bridge, right?
gellaho
Must be confusing to use a language with only five sounds and a maximum of six letters
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
That and only the cat people recognize how awesome Todd is.
gellaho
BRIIIIIIIDGE
Gentleman Brendan
The Hrrulans cherish Todd, for he is a sociopathic predator, as all cats are.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Briiiiiidge!
gellaho
Or as they say, Zodd. Because Z is easier to pronounce than T
Somehow
Gentleman Brendan
They made him a general!
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Kneel before Todd?
wait, holy shit
Zodd and the hero is named Reeve
Anne predicted Superman!
gellaho
"We gave them presents, and they killed themselves."
Gentleman Brendan
How many pages in are we are that they're still whimpering over whether or not to go?
This is the "I'm no good for you" emo boyfriend of sci-fi
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
"We gave them TLC and A&E and they just gave up."
gellaho
You guys are really obtuse with this prime directive thing
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Quit moving the goalposts!
gellaho
"They say our non-interference requires non-interference? What's up with that!?"
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
"Next you're gonna tell us to leave them alone!"
gellaho
In the future, microphones are impossible to hide
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
And thus wiretapping is born
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I love how in the 60s sci Fi writers assumed that in the future we will still record things on tape.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
They envisioned every advancement except digital media
CD's must have knocked them on their asses
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
60s writers also assumed future computers would still be gigantic and centralized.
gellaho
What a ridiculous assertion
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Lawrence is bringing unprecedented amounts of sass
gellaho
Hrrula just sitting there, thinking this is all fine
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
"He's not staring at us while licking himself, is he?"
Gentleman Brendan
"It's okay, we didn't reciprocate when he shared his culture so he doesn't know what we're saying. Ha ha! Dumb cavecat."
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
I still love that they're so worried over a bridge and not about what the Hrr will do when they find out about what we do to our pets
gellaho
Then they ride around on horses
Here's the world's worst song
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
The laughter is not friendly
gellaho
They all have the space madness
Gentleman Brendan
Lawrence is a lady?
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
The cat people are introduced to the human custom of 'heckling'.
Gentleman Brendan
Do...do we know Lawrence's ethnicity?
"I'd like to buy the world a home, and furnish it with HRR"
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
I will take this song over anything by Creed
gellaho
Lee Lawrence is married to Sally Lawrence
I'm getting real sick of this magic six year old
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Psychic powers, I'm telling you
gellaho
Wo can innately speak alien languages, swim, Houdini out of locked houses
Gentleman Brendan
Ken still amazed his friends have civilization.
Starting to think Ken's a critique of European colonialism.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Ken's gonna start Doona Gate over Ethics in Aliens
, beb
gellaho
Really into skinning animals
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Eyes snapping with pleasure?
gellaho
I think it's more that they are on the verge of worshipping his son as a god
Gentleman Brendan
"Your son is exceptionally cruel. We revere him."
gellaho
Looks like the people at Spacedep were able to figure out what the morons on planet weren't
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Reeve is immediately executed
Gentleman Brendan
Spacederp
gellaho
And the cat people have up and left
Gentleman Brendan
Why don't they just ask the Hrrala if they're native?
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Sitcom dilemma
Gentleman Brendan
Oh damn, they dumped US.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
What?! But we made a bridge!
gellaho
The Hrrubans are pretending that they are native
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
ooohhhhhhh
gellaho
So they don't have to commit mass suicide or whatever the First Speaker said
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Sure, that tracks
gellaho
I hate this kid
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Now Todd wishes him into the cornfield
gellaho
I also hate this chapter title
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
ugh
Oh right, cameras
Gentleman Brendan
Poor old Micheal Goneagin
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
60's writers never imagined cameras wouldn't need film
Gentleman Brendan
BAD FRIENDS
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I would have gone with 'hereagin today, goneagin tomorrow'.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
I appreciate you abstaining from that
gellaho
Excuse me
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
uh
m-maybe he means stomach pump?
Gentleman Brendan
Maybe he's against breast-pumping and only fresh milk will do.
I often dictate to women how their bodies must be employed for the good of my sirelings, to become perfect genetic specimens who will make me glorious in the eyes of the LORD.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Pounding and pumping in the same sentence. What does it mean?
gellaho
I guess in between chapters the investigator left and the Hrrubans came back
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
I'm getting whiplash from these narrative jumps
gellaho
No shit, that is ironical
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
They're cats. Cats wander off all the time and come back only when they feel like it.
God, it's like these people have been on a planet that didn't have room for animals.
gellaho
That must have been one hell of a long time scratching if it was in binary
Gentleman Brendan
Ken memorized the binary pattern and memorized up to three letters.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
It's getting confusing when Anne switches between first and last names for the same character
gellaho
What are these "flapped jacks?"
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Butter, like you called it, @Gentleman Brendan
Gentleman Brendan
they grew a maple tree in one year?
gellaho
Then a stampede caused by a big reptile
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
bwwwaaaaa?
Snake? SNAKE? SNNNAAAAAAAAAAKE!
gellaho
Cats disappeared again
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Must have heard the carrier getting pulled out of the closet
gellaho
And they stole Todd
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Hey, no downside
Gentleman Brendan
Todd has already shared the nuclear defense codes.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Goddammit, Todd
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Todd has correctly elected to live among the cat people.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
I guess boys will be boys
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
He chose the cats who revered him over his abusive parents. Smart kid.
Gentleman Brendan
gotta go eat cobb salad. Or as your people call it, HRR Salad
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
hrrnjoy, Brendan!
gellaho
Landreau's back, and he wants to go probing
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
awww yeeeaaaahhhh
wait, the kid? EWWW
gellaho
Four people from Codep showed up, and they've all decided that the colonists made up the Hrrubans
Because apparently the Hrrubans can go past shields and probes undetected
But mass suicide was their first option
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Anne must've been going through some shit when she wrote this
gellaho
Ken's spent the last several pages yelling at every government agent he can find. Which is a great strategy
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
In a lot of books the author really makes it clear whether or not they're a cat person. But here I'm getting a lot of mixed signals.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
She said she had five cats in the About the Author section
I'm suspecting some of them were not as wanted as the others
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Yeah I have the same feeling about my three.
gellaho
That's definitely going to work Ken
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
yeah, that line never precedes a murder
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
This is a very early use of the term 'space marine'.
When was starship troopers published?
gellaho
Ken somehow escapes on a horse
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
1959!?
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Ah, so it's not that original.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Still, holy crap, 1959
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I didn't realize it was that early
gellaho
Meanwhile, somewhere
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I always thought Forever War was a rebuttal to Starship Troopers, but there's a whole lot of extra context Haldeman was working under if Troopers was pre-vietnam.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
The cats are remarkably chill about the GIANT SNAKES
gellaho
I hate this kid
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
This is Where The Wild Things Are, but dumber and less fun
gellaho
I'm not really clear on what is happening. There's still no explanation for why they left at the worst time
gellaho
But now they have intimate knowledge of human bureaucracy
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
And thanks to this book we have intimate knowledge of cat alien bureaucracy.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Check and mate
gellaho
Hrrula making a rock n roll entrance
gellaho
And immediate exit
gellaho
Ken doesn't listen to the "non-violent" part
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Ken stomps the man's head into paste while he tries to think of the right words for diplomacy
gellaho
Metal objects are proof of aliens
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Landreau got caught on candid cat-camera.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Ken calls Landreau's kids and tells them their father is dead, just to grind his nose in it
Sorry for the initial boo's. I read "catmera"
gellaho
People from alien relations have arrived, and they apparently knew about the Hrrubans
gellaho
But not that the Hrrubans had transporters
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Seems like a PHONE CALL WOULD HAVE HELPED
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Wish I'd thought of that.
gellaho
Then Mr Suicide shows up
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
"Todd, you're adopted."
gellaho
I hate this kid
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Yeah, this is getting old
Ken's going to have to hit Todd extra hard to show him he made the wrong choice
gellaho
So there's a lot of talk about Hrruban formal conduct. Not much happens. The cats are a maybe on a treaty
Then they leave again
gellaho
Excellent point Anne. Maybe write something else
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
If they go it will be trouble, but if they stay it will be double.
Gentleman Brendan
I would like to point out that a guard who shows up for half a page of exposition gets a name but the Third Speaker of Droona-Deciding does hrr-not.
gellaho
I hate this kid
gellaho
I'm sure they all joined brains and spoke at the same time, sure
gellaho
I hate this kid so much
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
So the lesson here is beat your child until they become a diplomat
or ambassador
gellaho
It just never ends
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Anne? Is this all important to the resolution?
ANNE?
gellaho
Seems really peaceful
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Mutual isolation
gellaho
She's writing out the whole damn treaty
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
dear god
gellaho
Why the fuck would you agree to this
gellaho
She has also stopped calling it "Doona" and started calling it "Rrala" because that's what the Hrrubans call it
But they aren't native to the planet, so I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE'S DOING THAT
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
They counter with requiring all cat people to pray to Jesus
gellaho
I hate how this is phrased
gellaho
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
uhhhh
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Was that second d dropped from Todd's name on purpose?
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Was 1969 still a time where people didn't think it was weird for kids to be nude and/or really intimate with each other?
gellaho
That's the end, I guess
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Ken and Hrrula gonna fuuuuuuuck
gellaho
That last thirty pages was incomprehensible alien ceremony and speechifying
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
She didn't write the next book until 1992
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
So the conclusion of the book is that the cat people and humans are cool with each other, which seemed like the case for the whole book, except for some bureaucrats.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Yeah
ADVENTURE!
gellaho
I am tempted
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Go to book jail, Anne McCaffrey.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Honestly, I liked this readthrough more than the French book
gellaho
That was basically all 240 pages of it, yes
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
The story was boring garbage, but McCaffrey didn't have the painful writing style of some of the authors we've read
Granted, she also isn't the fun kind of crazy/awesome as Hawke
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I wasn't cringing at her prose, that's true.
gellaho
On reflection, that child did not get hit in the head enough
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I should read her Pern series.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Let us know how they are
And thanks for another book reading, @gellaho, Town Tamer !
gellaho
This was a plot that could maybe last a single episode of Star Trek
Gentleman Brendan
"At this point Todd helped Sumitral win a very important concession" is exactly that Twain thing I'm talking about.
gellaho
Not a whole ass book
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Yeah. This was a TNG subplot
Story A
Gentleman Brendan
This is how the world of Doona ends. Not with a meow but a purr.
Gentleman Brendan
I would say, sentence for sentence, Hawke is a better writer.
I mean they both wrote entire novels were the story starts on p. 101 but at least he directly and briefly describes the action rather than reporting it.
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
This is true
His books are a lot more fun to read
gellaho
That subliminal blackmailing thing never came up again
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
That was so weird!
How do you blackmail a child into believing in animal heroes?
gellaho
And she never really went back to why the Hrrubans showed up in loin cloths anyway. Or why they kept leaving
At any rate, The Book Cage: Ladies' Edition is over
FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer
Great riffing, everyone!
Have a good night!