public jakesy no. 1
THE INSURANCE MONEY
67.5: 2 Break-Up! Gerry Conway & Paulo Henrique
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Joe & Frank Hardy CALL IT QUITS!
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Gentleman Brendan
I know the labrador joke got made, but I feel the hairstyle distinguishes this joke from that one
FancyShark
IT'S ALWAYS THE INSURANCE MONEY!
Derpbat
Honestly, I'm amazed it took them this long to commit an actual crime.
It's been what, ten pages?
In comic pages. So that's like 50 book pages, give or take?
By now they should really have already committed three crimes.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
And Yah, my dude. Shows require a bunch of insurance.
gellaho
The guy on the left is not impressed by the rollerskate ring of death
Rachel, Swamp Philosopher
oh are we calling the girl a Labrador like a golden lab, the dog?
okay see
Gentleman Brendan
Well she's optimistic enough to be canadian, too.
FancyShark
He's seen some shit
Derpbat
Chet is responding to danger the way he normally responds to danger.
Rachel, Swamp Philosopher
Nevermind, you don't want to know what I think about that
Derpbat
I really like how they've finally gotten Chet down.
gellaho
Rachel, Swamp Philosopher
Just know I have bought a collar and leash for a blonde from Labrador
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Roller Derby is cool enough to not really NEED murdering teens but its not an unwelcome garnish.
Derpbat
They've failed to understand the Hardy Brothers. Fenton. Their aunt. the mother whose name I forget.
But they do have Chet.
Rachel, Swamp Philosopher
This made me laugh out loud
gellaho
Chet has entered the void
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Ghost staff.
Derpbat
Okay, that's a bit on the nose even for a reality tv producer.
But I'm not saying no.
Rachel, Swamp Philosopher
Ah yeah snuff films make mad money
gellaho
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
"Uh.....Ms. Hunt........if any of these kids dies on camera the FCC will absolutely not let us show it."
CHET SNAPS INTO ACTION!
public jakesy no. 1
Luckily her husband Mike is on the board
FancyShark
"hisssssss"
Derpbat
Chet! Running up the stairs! Grabbing for a random lever!
gellaho
Pick your favorite faceless golem sound
Derpbat
Go Chet go!
I like awwwk.
FancyShark
UMHPH
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Damn.
Rachel, Swamp Philosopher
AWWK
Derpbat
You don't often hear a good awwwk these days.
public jakesy no. 1
At least three people just accidentally got laid
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
That girl could only do an unngh because her neck is broken.
gellaho
Joe got real wide
Rachel, Swamp Philosopher
Oop she just got a scholarship to trump university
Derpbat
God dammit, stop showing us Joe's hair!
Just... just stop! Please. I'm begging you, artists.
It hurts as much as the first time, every time!
public jakesy no. 1
While you were out playing roller derby I was out studying lat pull downs
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
I like how they positioned the panel so we could see both Hardys spandex clad asses.
gellaho
"Joe, what are you looking at?"
Derpbat
You need more than motive to prove someone's committed a crime?
Okay, now I know these aren't the real Hardy Boys.
gellaho
These chapter titles are bizarre
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
One of these boys is giving his brother a talking to, and one is preparing to karate.
Gentleman Brendan
Flying Doo-ace-es?
Derpbat
Also, Frank is so angry.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Joe's torso is way too long.
Rachel, Swamp Philosopher
They're both blushing
This is foreplay
Derpbat
I can't believe this is from 2011.
gellaho
Poik
FancyShark
Oh yeah. Definitely foreplay
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Probably both realizing they are wearing skin tight spandex and have no bulges and therefore are the genitalless clone Hardys.
public jakesy no. 1
I think they're about to fuck?
Damn scooped
gellaho
Anime chest bump
Derpbat
Frank has developed the power of flight!
Joe has forgotten his brother is a year older than him and regularly plays football and can absolutely snap him in half!
Gentleman Brendan
Yowie!
Derpbat
WHO WILL WIN.
gellaho
No idea what that button did
public jakesy no. 1
I think they're both cumming?
Gentleman Brendan
Anime is the perfect Hardy medium because they're completely generic but for their hair
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Button clearly controls the Sibling Fuck Emergency Taser Field.
Rachel, Swamp Philosopher
at best, that's electricity that knocked them unconscious
Derpbat
I'm pretty sure for all their many, many, many, many, many, many faults across all continuities, no one until now ever had them decide to start punching each other.
So, that's something new.
gellaho
Great use of space during the escape
FancyShark
Unkillable tackler vs judo robot would be interesting
I assume they're near Saturn
Derpbat
Would explain the weird gravity effects.
gellaho
Then they just leave
Rachel, Swamp Philosopher
Liefeldian in it's laziness
Derpbat
"We went looking for you everywhere, Frank! Oh, hey, Joe. You're alive too."
Rachel, Swamp Philosopher
Except I see feet in the upper right
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Note there's only ONE twin in that panel because the other one is dead.
FancyShark
And still looking great
gellaho
Buh
Derpbat
There was only ever one twin. She was just moving back and forth faster than the speed of light to pretend to be two twins.
gellaho
Duh
Derpbat
I can't prove it, but you can't prove me wrong.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
It's so sad when a redheaded gymnast dies of Hardy Proximity Syndrome.
Rachel, Swamp Philosopher
Trump U picks up two new scholars
Derpbat
Look, she lasted longer than the last redhead who stood within thirty feet of Joe.
gellaho
FancyShark
The Hardys have so much ringworm from walking around barefoot
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Gay chicken.
gellaho
I wonder what happened
public jakesy no. 1
AS A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN I DECLARE YOU ARRESTED
Derpbat
I'm so glad that the rest of you are able to look past the abomination that is Joe's haircut and notice the other things happening, because I cannot.
gellaho
She's dead?! Who couldst have foreseen
Derpbat
Oh, hey, the thing we all knew would happen has happened.
Gentleman Brendan
None of us had knife to the throat though.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
And somehow with a Bowie knife.
Derpbat
Also, Joe's haircut no longer is the worst crime ever committed to ink.
LyraV
When did they rip their sleeves off?
Derpbat
Yeah, that's a twist.
gellaho
Well, time to go home and lose 50 pounds of muscle
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
I think they just naturally get like that because of the ki power.
Its a manga after all.
Derpbat
...Carpathian Investments?
gellaho
I don't know if you are allowed to have an Epilogue before the mystery has been solved
Derpbat
Carpathian Investments?
Is this run by an Alexander U. Card?
FancyShark
We know
Derpbat
No? Then shut the fuck up, Joe.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Shell company for Dracula LLC
Gentleman Brendan
Romanians: Evil
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Worse. Jeff Bezos.
Gentleman Brendan
It's by Dr. A. Cula
Derpbat
Seems legit.
gellaho
Insurance money and snacking? Slow down, Mr. Conway
Gentleman Brendan
Fenton is a butterface
gellaho
public jakesy no. 1
Beef Carpathian is on the menu at the Hardy house
Derpbat
...since when does their mother cook?
These writers knew all of three things about the Hardy Boys universe, and all of them are Chet.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Since she became a blow up doll.
gellaho
Get out the thirty foot table, boys
gellaho
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
"Um......a phone number in the Cayman islands.........and you call that a LEAD?!"
public jakesy no. 1
"They have a Swiss bank account too!"
FancyShark
"We watched a girl die, Father"
Derpbat
I'm not an expert, but I don't think the number for their banker in the Cayman Islands is useful, no.
Derpbat
"What, again?"
gellaho
Women aged quite a bit since the beginning
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Also their mom took her lipstick off?
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okay.
gellaho
"Am I the same woman?"
Gentleman Brendan
Stepford 1.0 was not a success.
Derpbat
Isn't like the only characterization of their mother is that she is incredibly busy?
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
How much food did they cook too?
Theres like two different pans at least.
gellaho
Shit, turned into Doonesbury
Gentleman Brendan
Gotta mealprep when you're hardy-busy
FancyShark
"I made your favorite. It's a blanket."
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Meatloaf?
Gentleman Brendan
You know the old saying: Working Hardy, or hardly working?
Derpbat
Maybe it's roast beast.
These Hardy Boys could be Whos.
They have the hair for it.
Though not the clothes.
gellaho
FUCKING PSYCHED ABOUT WASHING DISHES
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Possible lasagna, but who eats meatloaf with lasagna?!
Derpbat
Fenton is terrified by what his sons have become.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
No. No, fuck you. No.
Derpbat
What.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
NO IT IS NOT.
gellaho
"School? Fuck that, boys"
Derpbat
I... I cannot think of a less useful form of cover than a zombie crawl.
Even in the heady world of fantasy.
LyraV
Those are giant plates!
Derpbat
...I suppose that would explain they were caught so easily.
gellaho
"I can't help, but that teen girl I somehow know about can"
Derpbat
No.
gellaho
What kinda fucked up sequence is this
Derpbat
No.
LyraV
I guess it's the Metabarons influence but I keep expecting them to murder their father.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
OOOOH are we gonna get a horny anime Nancy Drew?!
Derpbat
I said no, dammit.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
God that would be rad if the two of them united their mind power and blasted Fenton right in his stupid brain.
gellaho
PAPERCUTZ
Derpbat
The all-new The Hardyboys The New Case Files.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
"Its got a Z so you know our Nancy Drew is EXTREEEEEME!"
Derpbat
This is incredibly redundant even leaving aside the everything.
gellaho
Only the best from Papercutz
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
"She has a nose ring AND a tattoo!"
Derpbat
I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Stephanie Meyer deserves more respect.
I didn't know there was a bar for that, but there is, and that's it.
Gentleman Brendan
After Fifty Shades, anything was fair game.
Derpbat
🤔
gellaho
"You should really get help from Nancy Drew, boys. All that vampire hunting is going to really help solve this insurance scheme"
FancyShark
Wait, there's more?!
Derpbat
I feel like hunting vampires is a big step down for Nancy Drew.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Nancy Drew has this real intense "Wait what the fuck did you just say?!"
Derpbat
I mean, even besides collaborating with the knock-off Hardy Boys.
gellaho
The last couple of pages is devoted to a preview of that Nancy Drew book
"book"
I'm going to say somehow worse art
FancyShark
"Ohhh, someone's going in the fucking dirt"
Gentleman Brendan
I am so confused. Is this a spoof or is she in a school play?
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Shit she has a fuckin John McCain goiter.
FancyShark
haha
Gentleman Brendan
How has WB/MAD not sued them?
gellaho
That concludes Episode 65 of The Book Cage
Derpbat
WooO! We survived!
FancyShark
We did it!
Gentleman Brendan
What a weird capstone
Derpbat
...oh, holy shit, I may need to actually buy these.
FancyShark
Great work, everyone!
FancyShark
Yes. Thank you, always and again, @gellaho
Derpbat
Okay, apparently WB/MAD don't own the license for Tales of the Crypt.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Much appreciated @gellaho
Derpbat
The actual creator does.
Somehow.
Gentleman Brendan
There's a Harvey Kurtzman estate printing comics?
Derpbat
There's a literary agent representing them.
FancyShark
Have a good night, everyone!
Gentleman Brendan
Well done, bookworms.
Gentleman Brendan
Thanks as always, Gellaho.
Derpbat
...I may actually have to buy one of these