101: A Beeline to Murder Meera Lester

FancyShark

@LyraV , I think this is the abstraction you mentioned

LyraV

hot? I guess?

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Wait, was every recipe a sex scene?!

LyraV

I'm not Not into it

Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃

300 is pretty low for an oven baking temperature

infinite tempest jakesy

In the first paragraph of the recipe there's stir, beat, and cream

FancyShark

OH GOD. What does that mean about the dog biscuits?!

infinite tempest jakesy

So this theory holds water

gellaho

Then there's the Acknowledgements, where Meera claims to have done some research

Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃

Wait was that the end?

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Imagine if movies did that, like during the sex scenes just spliced in five minutes of Great British Bake Off.

FancyShark

LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

LyraV

Wait

gellaho

And claims to have based Abby on a real person, which I would sue to get removed

Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃

That would be the best way to edit them for TV

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Meera googled "beekeeping" and watched like four episodes of SVU to prepare for this.

infinite tempest jakesy

I'll summarize the acknowledgment

https://open.spotify.com/track/1weVfOVVCNUadzABZeXg7j?si=-uE0swS0Qn6lUKkZgjFbJQ

gellaho

And thanks her husband, who I'm sure loved this fantasy about fucking a French guy

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I mean maybe he's open minded.

LyraV

Ha alright well sure yeah. Honey Cake recipe and I'm out the end.

Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃

Maybe he's the one who wants to fuck a French guy

gellaho

I'll skip this preview, except for the recipe at the end

LyraV

NOooooooo

FancyShark

hahahahahaha, the preview has a recipe

LyraV

Not more bee sleep books

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Maybe Meera's husbands thing is to be cucked by a fussy French gentleman.

Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃

So she did the stupid thing and made the murderer some guy we never saw

infinite tempest jakesy

GIF

gellaho

This is the most pointless bullshit I've ever seen

FancyShark

ew

LyraV

it doesn't sound very good at all

gellaho

Why would I want my sugar to smell like roses, Meera?

Why?

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Itd just stank sugar?

infinite tempest jakesy

Wait let me get this straight

Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃

If you like rose flavored stuff

LyraV

like licking those weird dried scent things people keep in bowls

FancyShark

FLORAL FLAVORS NEED TO BE MILD, MEERA

infinite tempest jakesy

You put the petals….in the sugar

FancyShark

OTHERWISE YOU'RE EATING SOAP

infinite tempest jakesy

You're going to have to slow down and walk me through that again

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Like.....okay but I dont think you needed directions for this.

Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃

Btw you can do this with almost anything and sugar. I've done it with lavender, citrus peels, etc

gellaho

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Oh thank fuck shes old as shit.

infinite tempest jakesy

ITS REAL

FUCK YOU

HENNY PENNY IS REAL

gellaho

Yeagh

infinite tempest jakesy

FUUUUUUUCKKKKK

gellaho

She wrote fanfiction about her house

infinite tempest jakesy

YOUUUUUUUUUUU

infinite tempest jakesy

Wait actually this is a good thing

gellaho

We have defeated A Beeline to Murder

FancyShark

WE DID IT!

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Keeps her off Facebook and out of the True Crime podcasts.

FancyShark

WE'RE ALIVE!

FancyShark

Have her listen to the Megan Wants a Murderer episodes of Dogg Zzone

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I want some honey walnut chicken.

gellaho

So concludes episode 101 of The Book Cage

infinite tempest jakesy

No if the Henny Penny farm exists that means we can find it

FancyShark

Thank you, @gellaho !

Great riffing, everybody!

infinite tempest jakesy

And destroy it

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Its so much harder when they are boring.

FancyShark

At least it was terrible, so we had rage to fuel us

gellaho

Clue for next week

It will be an insane ass book written by a black actor in a sci-fi series name beginning with Star

FancyShark

Billy Dee Williams' Tech War?!

Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃

I didn't know John Boyega wrote a book

gellaho

Tune in next time

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Hell yeah, Billy Dee.

infinite tempest jakesy

Mister son of a bitch

https://hennypennyfarmette.com/

LyraV

Aw hell yeah

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Her blog manages to remind me of Geocities without being on Geocitites.

infinite tempest jakesy

It can't be too much more advanced than that