#1 Psychodrome
It's time to return back to where it all began. We'll begin the journey through the world of Simon Hawke's shortest series: Psychodrome. A book so filled with Hawke/Masters/Yermakov energy that it may require more than one reading. What's it about? Find out this Friday, 5pm Eastern!
Coming up on the hour, it's Simon Hawke's Psychodrome. Here's the preview
Fun Fact: In his first book, Journey from Flesh fire crystals were something people ground up and snorted to get high
In this book, they're just valuable gems
That's disappointing. It'd make more sense to flee from space ninjas by going to a planet filled with space cocaine
Hold on, better cut
Shout out to Mississippi
I'm glad they made an arrangement with the author
What the hell is a mimeograph
A copy
Oh 1987 I guess they didn't have scanners then never mind
A pre photocopier technology
Read the opening paragraph and let your mind wander
Hallucination sounds too old fashioned
Commentary on the military-industrial complex?
Home audience?
Psychodrome is a sort of VR game
Future technology that constantly breaks is a Simon Hawke staple.
ahhh
I love Simon Hawke
This is a really weird concept, but Psychodrome is where "psychos" compete in games either real or imaginary for a viewing audience that experiences it through a VR headset
it's unnecessarily complicated
I genuinely like how he describes playing soldier as a kid
Musing on the grim realities of video game war compared to schoolyard play
Simon Hawke must pontificate on the nature of man
You know, on page 2. Before anything is established
He's going full Kojima
Get ready, the ideas are coming fast and loose
"These are the themes this book is about."
Get it, good
So it’s like Photon for adults
And the stakes are a multiplayer achievement/trophy
Instead of MOM, the computer is called MILF
While writing, make sure to undermine your ideas
"The world is consumed in a hellish miasma of corruption and twisted entertainment. Whatevs"
A truly poor choice of acronym
If you are new to Hawke you might think he is just laying the foundation for the "rules" of this world, but a third of these facts will never be relevant again and another third will be directly contradicted
lol
Hmmmm
That’s the best part of Hawke
This doesn't come up until later, but there are twists for the "Special Service" officers that is fantastic
The word 'teutonic' being that close to 'SS' has me nervous
So, one of these names is the main character. He doesn't bother specifying which
Can you figure it out?
The bright plan is also to jetpack straight at the enemy
O'Toole?
Correct
Thanks, gellaho. Thanks loads
I'm assuming Stone Winters is known for being soft?
I bet Stone Winters body will be described in detail
I don't know why it doesn't say "'Thanks, Rudy. Thanks loads,' I said".
You bet her ass
Psy-fi, baby
That sounds like a horrible way to be entertained
Sweet prank
So much scorn for the home audience that couldn't handle playing the videogame like a real man
GASP
Wait, they're suckers for following orders?
The main character is a bit of a buffoon
Our hero gracefully shits his pants on page 5
Ha!
Ah yes, the emplacement dome that every reader will instantly recognize as part of any future VR war simulation
So relatable!
If you remember Steele, shades of Project Download
This turns out to be real
hahaha
During the broadcast, they censored his pants soiling
So, not full Kojima
Great way to start
"Wait, are you killing virgins, Hakim?"
Simon Hawke didn't develop his huge black guy archetype until Ice, so instead we get an African American twink
Unfortunately @hype slug jakesy there are no Ice-types in this book
"I ever tell you how much I crush it, O'Toole?" he inquired elegantly
Our main character hears leprechauns and archbishops in his head
Haha, yeah. What would any Irish religious practitioners know about guilt?
Hears them a lot
"Instinctively, I thought of potatoes"
Irish gambler in Tokyo
Owes money to pharaonic man
So what are the stakes here? He's trying to settle a debt by... winning the big drome?
"I'm basically a coward, in case you didn't pick up on that when I shit my pants before the plot started"
Now: ninjas
Ok, yes!
Kind of, except that the guy he owes money to just wants him dead
Noted Japanese scholar Simon Hawke
Yakuza is a blanket term, not a single organization, Simon
But what about in the future?
Checkmate, 2425 means accuracy can suck it
ooooohhh daaaaaammmmn
This is real, right?
Make sure you introduce your main character's full name randomly during a sudden flashback
Russians: They Only Crave Death
Hahaha this owns
Oops
There it is
Oh hell, this isn't even uncommon?
I hope you are enjoying these details about nonregistered people
A concept that never comes back
Registered for what? Who knows
Hawke didn't hear you could just have the MC run away, did he?
She's still hot though
Hmmm
No joke, every other paragraph of this first chapter is unrelated worldbuilding
"Such a rare beauty. There were thousands like her"
Bradbury, Mars. Get it?
Do you get it though?
Hope you aren't getting tired of him talking to his ancestors
Hawke's entire research on Ireland was a box of Lucky Charms
Let’s fucking go, time to get drunk and marry another chick
When your only tool is a hammer
I almost think this is the best written book I've read of his
Because I think that joke actually works
The scooter line? Yeah, that lands
These are also weird flying scooters FYI
His word choices are weird
Huh, that works pretty well too
Time to gamble for the bride and in laws
don't think too hard about what the SS pin looks like
:JudgePudge:
It's weird because, aside from the Nazi indications and the annoying Irish/Russian garbage, this is not that bad
it's got a DNA helix which is slightly different
The leprechaun shit ain't going nowhere
Of course Hakim owns the Pyramid Club
Think he struggled over how to theme his club?
This paragraph is gold
Yes
Yes
I like this protagonist
He just gives this girl he married while drunk a place to live and money
I'm too used to protagonists in these readings being utter trash. This is refreshing
Just giving it away
Also he went on such a heater in illegal poker that he could afford multiple houses
This is the most elaborate setup you could imagine
The number of steps it takes for him to get into these games is crazy
Okay, get drunk and accidentally married
Russia: A Choir of Misery
Then, win in poker tons of money to give new and soon-to-be ex bride a livelihood
Then get a job
Then get duped by the owned of the casino
Who is clearly a mobster
That's certainly complicated
"That's certainly very complicated" is a very good summary of how Hawke sets up a story
I love it
We ain't done yet
This could have all been "O' Toole gets drunk and gets buried in debt after an illegal poker game" but instead we get a totally unnecessary wife with no impact on the narrative
Chekov’s Wife
"Totally unnecessary with no impact on the narrative" is another good summary of how Hawke writes
It does show us that he's a decent guy deep down
Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. He takes over my legitimate business
Then all my money is gone
So we've now gone from "idiot gets blackout drunk in slums" to "natural gambler pulling in real estate"
Everyone in this town is too damn connected
Hahaha. He's written at least two novel's worth of events in this chapter
Oh, and then he gets in Psychodrome through a lottery
So all of that was fairly pointless
oopsie
Hahahaha
It's such a roller coaster ride to reach "playing VR war"
No kidding. Bhodi Li just won a bunch of laser tag
75% of the world watches Psychodrome
Oh wow that is so much better than I could have imagined. I guess even a Hawke veteran can be naive enough to believe the path we were on naturally led to Psychodrome
Simon Hawke comments on the wealth inequality
I don't know if "people killing each other" caters to every taste
Like, there's bound to be kids that would rather watch Paw Patrol
You got wealthy thrill seekers and the poor who facilitate that
Hell, yessssss. Biochips
There's one of many Hawkisms
Hoorah
It's just the Project Steele stuff from Steele
This is the explanation of Psychodrome
Which could be real or fake and is broadcast to VR headsets
Oh god. It's Twitch VR
Psychodroids
Project Download lives!
Also porn
I was going to say, porn has to be killing it in this world
Obviously, porn
Aw
That's just POV porn with feedback
Dawww
The Leprechaun really never ends
Russia: All Is Pain
O'Toole runs from fame and ninjas
And straight into a scooter gang
Tiger-striped scooter. Fuck yeah
I honestly have no idea what he's talking about when he says "sled"
Just more of that future lingo
What qualifies as a sled when it's attached to a flying scooter
The biker gang decides to take on the Yakuza
He seems to be using the terms interchangeably
You're familiar with the buzz disk, correct? Ok
You're familiar with the buzz disk, correct? Ok
Zzzzp-wheeeeeew
"Snikked, not snikt. You hear me, Marvel?"
Klunck
Also, hell yes. That's Predator tech
I don't think the result of a buzzsaw attack is uncannily messy
Screamers and derelicts (see also Steele)
Unless it was pretty clean
Snikked is prime Hawke
RIP Honda
Mr Roboto
"Don't patronize me, gaijin."
Gasp, lady gangster
A single blemish? Uggo
Oh, I forgot about this
Lordy
Wait, what? That's the first thing she says after the chase?
It's so perfect
hahaha
Succinct
"We're married now."
"Goddammit"
You know, fuck it
Time for chapter 2
We're still in the flashback
lol
Also, I'm pretty sure that's a Chinese belief
It's a real weird book
Gotta love sex in the filthy corner
Tetanus is for Lovers
Primo Masters
He transfers his controlling yakuza properties to the bandits
He’s going through his Asian period here
Wait. Saqqara didn't have control over those before he put out the hit?
He's done now
Oh, the entire point of this is to have ninjas chase him through the rest of the book
Yer boy's famous
Now: New York City baby!
Things are going pretty poorly in NYC
Hahaha that whole thing was only 5 days?
The stuff with Kami was. The rest took 5 years, I think?
#satire
"Your complementary bath of frying medium is warming now"
O'Toole doesn't even own a TV
Wait, who's Stiers?
Stone Winters: Pure Unadulterated Sex
His public relations guy
Also prime ass hat
Hey, Death's into it
Breck is a fascinating character
Amputees are evil. Gotcha. Thanks, Hawke
He's bioengineered and smokes supertobacco
I won't explain how the SS officers are bioengineered, but it's real weird
Hawke is giving tobacco companies an awful lot of credit
What you need to know is that his new partners are so hot
If Breck turns out to not be a nazi, I will be very surprised
He's very observant
I'm a little behind but we're up to two women at this point and both are young or have features like a little girl
Nothing better than having a man explain a woman's character instead of having her do it or showing the reader through narration
You need to keep up with these concepts
Biochips, telepathy, downloading knowledge
"adaptability quotient"
"You shit your pants in combat. You are highly adaptable."
Fucking Matrix can suck it
Mondago was like a literary reference
"Get it? HE'S OLD"
And now we're caught up with the prologue
So far, the central plot is...guy avoiding getting killed by ninjas?
Sort of. The bandits are going to war with the Yakuza in the background
This is all actually well written and interesting and I can't wait until Hawke totally drops the bandit / Yakuza plot without ever resolving anything
Their DM shows up in his dream to start the actual plot
Legs
Mondago then paused as a voice asked him if he wanted Hot Pockets from the grocery store
I haven’t seen enough lip action yet though
I was just about to say that.
Oh no. We're edging into Brooke territory
What's really, real, man
Is this early JD? Before he matured into lips as a window into the soul?
He had that in his first book
Guess the lips are just moister in…THE PSYCHODROME
I would like him to settle on how his future tech works
Ask and ye shall receive
YES
Ok ok not bad
best of luck with that
Here it comes
I'm not sure I buy that he's unlucky
She's turned on by experiencing the world through him
NINJA ATTACK
I'm just happy we aren't still getting the leprechaun and bishop on every page
Ninjas be cock blockin'
I ask this a lot, but is this real life or in the 'drome
The Leprechaun and Bishop sounds like a terrible Irish bar.
Oddly, they're a Cajun restaurant
FUCKIN NYSTEEL
Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Yeaahhh
Now that is how you cyborg arm
Is Breck a nysteel cyborg? The answer is yes
1000 points to Psychodrome
1000 points and 1000 stars
Naked ladies and dead ninjas
Sick? Seems like a fairly standard post-slaughter quip, Stone
Hawke spent so much time building this decent cyberpunk world and immediately filled it to the brim with ninjas
I love him for it
Psychodrome has a lot of mental access
