21: Psychodrome Simon Hawke

FancyShark

Oh right. @Old Man Brendan they were eating cows they thought were animals but were actually shapeshifters

Old Man Brendan

Classic Simon hawke

Were their skeletons made of nysteel?

GDC

No but then the cows shapeshifted into humans to fight them and that didn't stop them from getting eaten.

gellaho

Real BTO fan this Raisin

FancyShark

"That same personage continued 'B-b-b-baby, you ain't seen n-n-n-nothin' yet'"

gellaho

Being followed by the former British porn star

FancyShark

The kangaroo-hopping British pornstar

gellaho

Flying Blind on the Skimmer

Old Man Brendan

Shape shifting livestock is a prude investment. Raise one animal, eat 50.

gellaho

The hermit seems like a really weird choice for a bodyguard

Old Man Brendan

Razin is Han solo

gellaho

Please remember for the rest of the section they're wearing goofy breathing masks

FancyShark

"Don't turn the masks around or they'll siphon all the air from your lungs. Let's go!"

Old Man Brendan

What's the elevation of everest?

gellaho

Volcano. I wonder if anything dramatic is going to happen

FancyShark

29000

gellaho

Seems legit

FancyShark

Looks like they're at the same effective elevation as Kilimanjaro

gellaho

I'm sure you could spend a week climbing out a volcano without food or water

FancyShark

I'm sure they can walk right up to it with no consequence too

gellaho

Remember that a couple fire crystals are apparently enough to live off forever

FancyShark

"And they taste great"

gellaho

Ok, now forget about them completely because they no longer matter

FrozenPie

like a vitamin lollipop

gellaho

Twist O'clock

gellaho

In Simon Hawke's first book fire crystals were highly addictive drugs that were snorted

FancyShark

"And I call that place: Planet Hollywood"

gellaho

He's assimilated all Raisin's... bioplasm?

FancyShark

Wasn't Raisin the guy begging for death earlier?

No, wait, he got shot

gellaho

Raisin is the bald guy who was hired to guard and guide them

The shapeshifter doesn't like the taste of raisins

FancyShark

Not a smart move, reminding people you're delicious

gellaho

The Shapeshifter starts his long ass message to the universe

FancyShark

"Also, we want you to exile the Irish"

gellaho

The shapeshifter claims to understand humans. Then, the shapeshifter threatens the humans with terrorism unless they leave

I don't think they understand

FancyShark

He's still threatening them when there's only one of him

gellaho

Then the Shapeshifter offers a ride

FancyShark

This dude's a little too chill about securing his people's freedom

gellaho

"Eh" :man_shrugging:

FancyShark

"Liberty or whatevs"

gellaho

Simon Hawke muses on the nature of prejudice

FancyShark

oh, oh no

oh, Simon, no no no

You are way out of your depth for this

Old Man Brendan

He's not wrong. There's only one slur and colonialism is the impetus for it.

gellaho

Then he decided to only use the question mark for punctuation

gellaho

The plot interrupts Simon's fifth musing in a row

gellaho

Stone is injured . The shapeshifter lies buried under rock

hype slug jakesy

“Did someone here order a big sausage pizza?” - Cameron

FancyShark

"Dammit, Cameron! Not now!"

gellaho

I guess this common expression did not survive to 2500

Old Man Brendan

Just replace her legs with nysteel. Problem solved

gellaho

Luckily fire crystals are both used in the transmission of Psychodrome and fuck the transmission up

gellaho

As long as she still has the human vagina

Old Man Brendan

Yeah otherwise is she even human?

hype slug jakesy

If she can’t have babies she’s essentially a walking potato

gellaho

O'Toole decides to distract Cameron by walking perilously close to a deadly crevasse

I'm not sure why

FancyShark

Cameron still trying to make things sexy

Old Man Brendan

Mmmm the best dialogue from 1970s action films.

gellaho

Luckily Breck - who I'm pretty sure is the actual protagonist - saves the day

gellaho

After all, he is the one with nysteel

FancyShark

O'Toole hasn't been this heroic since he shit his pants in the prologue

gellaho

Do the night terrors add to the heroism

hype slug jakesy

Nice page

gellaho

Extremely

gellaho

Safe and sound back home

FancyShark

How long were they sitting and staring at him?

gellaho

Or do the mysterious pronouns pronounce doom?

FancyShark

"We're here from the 'cliched Feds' department"

gellaho

Twist time

FancyShark

"The lady that lost both her legs in a storm of violence is dead?!"

gellaho

She was eated by the shapeshifter

FancyShark

I feel like this undermines the shapeshifter's request for a ceasefire

gellaho

A little bit

gellaho

BIOCHIPS are back, baby

FancyShark

This feels like a completely new book. Is his debt paid and the ninjas gone now?

gellaho

we'll get back to it

Time to walk around and find a shapeshifter

gellaho

Genocide, baby

FancyShark

Man, shapshifter really sucks at negotiations

Silver Cyborg Greg (a wizard)

Holy shit so much happens in this book

FancyShark

Right?

gellaho

The characters agree

gellaho

The first time they went out to search for the shapechanger also turned out to be a "hallucinact" and O'Toole did not react well

I skipped over that

FancyShark

Seems like a terrible way to hunt down an alien and self-declared terrorist

gellaho

The best thing are the friends we made along the way

FancyShark

Saqqara must have an amazing benefits program to have an inexhaustible supply of ninjas

gellaho

The Dark Knight got beaten to the punch by Simon Hawke

FancyShark

lol

gellaho

Simon Hawke mulls on power

Silver Cyborg Greg (a wizard)

I wish we had an electronic copy of this book so we could search for how many times Hawke says "ninja"

gellaho

Good news: https://www.amazon.com/Psychodrome-Simon-Hawke-ebook/dp/B00PCDTQFA/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=psychodrome&qid=1625182144&sr=8-1

FancyShark

To be fair, I think he's said "assassin" more often than "ninja"

gellaho

The cover is not nearly as good

Cyberpunks!

gellaho

The shapeshifter has turned into a cyberpunk. Wearing a skinjac? I don't know what that is

FancyShark

Oof. Maybe stay away from inventing new slurs

gellaho

ENHANCE

gellaho

I wonder if Steele lived long enough to be in this Strike Force

FancyShark

So one of the biggest stars on the most-watched form of entertainment in the world is dead and only these two are being sent to find her killer?

gellaho

they don't want people to know there's been an invasion

FancyShark

ah, gotcha

gellaho

Psychological warfare

gellaho

FUCK YOU, NINJA TIME

FancyShark

YES

gellaho

Ninjas and Naked Women: The Simon Hawke Story

FancyShark

Always a treat to see masters of stealth at work

gellaho

You thought the shapeshifter messaging was bad before

gellaho

The Draconian has escaped, but we can still receive closure from the ninjas

hype slug jakesy

We got nysteel, we got strike force, this seems like the same universe to me

FancyShark

What year did Steele take place? I want to say this is that world's future

gellaho

You remember Kami? From 190 pages ago?

hype slug jakesy

Konichiwa, bitches

FancyShark

And just like that, Stone is forgotten

gellaho

Steele takes place in 2142

And I only know that because of a tombstone

A lot has been going on in Tokyo too

FancyShark

I think there was some mention of this book being in the year 23XX or later?

Wait, GUILD?!

gellaho

2425

Don't worry about the guild

It's time for ladies

FancyShark

They still go back to banging behind that one filthy crate in an alley

gellaho

"I don't wanna assign labels to it, man. We're both just street people"

gellaho

What a stronghold

gellaho

Barrel fires, of course

FancyShark

Do we have 80's movie bingo yet?

gellaho

Tunnel dwellers from Steele, nice for them to show up

gellaho

This is an unfortunate plan

FancyShark

This is a helluva lot of world building

uh...

gellaho

Next paragraph

hype slug jakesy

I mean Simon Hawke has like 12 ideas and they all resurface in one way or another in every one of his books

gellaho

Not sure why naked was a part of that plan

FancyShark

Because boobs

gellaho

It's important to get naked before gouging out the man's eyes

The final showdown

gellaho

SEPPUKU

FancyShark

Glad O'Toole isn't the only one unsatisfied with this ending

gellaho

Epilogue

gellaho

I'm skipping just so many poker metaphors

But here are the ones at the very end

FancyShark

Has he been talking in gambling metaphors the entire book, or did this just start during the final confrontation?

gellaho

It's kind of the entire prologue

but he was mostly doing the Russian priest/leprechaun thing for the rest of the book

Silver Cyborg Greg (a wizard)

Pick a lane O'Toole wasn't your thing a leprechaun who guides you?

gellaho

That was Psychodrome!

FancyShark

Nice job @gellaho !

gellaho

Support your local Simon Hawke, won't you? https://www.amazon.com/Psychodrome-Simon-Hawke-ebook/dp/B00PCDTQFA/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=psychodrome&qid=1625182144&sr=8-1

Silver Cyborg Greg (a wizard)

I wish he had spent a few pages with his teen wife in the prologue so the book had symmetry in the random ladies that love O'Toole for no reason

gellaho

Somewhat randomly, all Simon Hawke books except Steele are available on Kindle. Including the Star Trek books

FancyShark

Hawke remains a wonderful mystery

Old Man Brendan

Stone does not practice gun safety.

gellaho

I don't know why there are only three Psychodrome books but 14 TimeWars

Old Man Brendan

Well with the time wars you get stuck in a causalityloop

hype slug jakesy

Yeah for some reason Steele is the one property that’s locked away forever