Velo, Electric Ghost
Or he's dead
This just became The Wire
124: The Hardy Boys Casefiles #76: Ring of Evil #1: Tagged for Terror Franklin W. Dixon
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Ring of Evil
When danger's at the controls, the final destination can be terminal.
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gellaho
Off to Ted's house
FancyShark
"Two assholes ta see yas, boss"
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
rich, Corinthian chimes
Velo, Electric Ghost
Ted is living off his ill gotten luggage theft gains
Brendo
Ted put up his Corvette as bail collateral and he JUST got it back!
gellaho
Great convo, ghostwriter
gellaho
I am stereotypical business lady
FancyShark
hawt
gellaho
"I'm a big boy, mooom"
Gentleman Arch-Thief Badger
Nance is one letter off from a terrible childhood
FancyShark
...Vance?
Velo, Electric Ghost
Pance?
gellaho
Off to the cult town Danny's from
FancyShark
The entire diner stops and stares
Gentleman Arch-Thief Badger
"Haha good one, what's his real name"
gellaho
"They don't take kindly to strangers"
gellaho
Velo, Electric Ghost
"Aint ever been no Minifees round here. Yall best get out. Now."
gellaho
Danny Dangerous
FancyShark
hahaha
Velo, Electric Ghost
"He fucking robbed me when he was a kid."
FancyShark
This just got awesome
gellaho
Holy shit
Velo, Electric Ghost
"No one in town ever said anything about it."
HAH
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
turns out danny is this small town's own personal Joker
FancyShark
Danny is hardcore
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
"I only exploited and underpaid her!"
GDC
I'm on team Danny so far
Brendo
What'd they wander into Innsmouth?
gellaho
You know how you take your shotgun to get groceries
Brendo
Oh man, a DOUBLE "mister wait" from the townies.
FancyShark
Starke can just sense when Danny is being discussed, even from across the street and through a closed door
Brendo
Like a double rainbow. Everyone gets a couple, but you never know when.
gellaho
Unassuming and poor, just like Danny
gellaho
Et tu, Ted?
Velo, Electric Ghost
Danny's poor even back home!
Brendo
The Voorhees boy came by my general store, waving that machete and claiming I murdered his mother after she carved up seven teens, and I owed him my sex-having counselors.
Velo, Electric Ghost
"Ted bailed me out on account of how he's dumb as shit."
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Ted confessed off screen. Let's go home
gellaho
Ted's not bad, he just stole from people and frames me for it
Velo, Electric Ghost
"Old stupid-son-of-a-bitch Ted we used to call him."
FancyShark
Are you sure it was Ted and not a paid actor in makeup trained to act like Ted?
I'm sorry, I mean a clone
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
maybe he's going to pilot a laser drone to destroy the luggage
Gentleman Arch-Thief Badger
Nah, they'll have a suitcase nuke to wipe it all out
gellaho
Back at work, Frank is fascinated by catering
gellaho
Oh, the irony of being crushed by a food cart
Brendo
Ted might frame his friends, but he stand by them. He STANDS by them.
FancyShark
Right toward the least vulnerable part of Joe's body
Velo, Electric Ghost
That's alright, Joe's Head Strong.
Flex your head, Joe!
gellaho
Now Joe gets to ride a conveyor belt
Velo, Electric Ghost
Wheeeeee
gellaho
JOE SMASH
Velo, Electric Ghost
Joe's living his best life
gellaho
Lot of details there
gellaho
Sure is suspicious how he gave us the day off after you nearly died
FancyShark
OSHA called Briggs and threatened his children
Velo, Electric Ghost
"It's almost like no one wants us there because we're a whirlwind of chaos and destruction!"
gellaho
"We want that fancy fishing rod case"
gellaho
We can kill you with all sorts of food transportation devices
FancyShark
"You can't put your elbow in your ear."
gellaho
Dundundun
Brendo
The scheme as I understand it now is to steal luggage to prevent robbers from stealing luggage.
Velo, Electric Ghost
Steall all the luggage!
Also kill Gina
Surprised they haven't done that yet
gellaho
They go to look at Gina's personnel file
FancyShark
"Says here she's an international terrorist. Huh."
gellaho
In order to accomplish that, Joe harasses his secretary
FancyShark
Joe doing improv
gellaho
It's like she's a g-g-g-ghost
FancyShark
Assassins were too lazy to give her a cover story
Velo, Electric Ghost
Gina's not good at this
gellaho
An electrodebuggerizer seems like an especially heinous sex toy
FancyShark
"Also, you may want to give it a minute to air out."
gellaho
Joe is surprised Gina didn't like them showing up unannounced
FancyShark
"So, you know my horrible secret."
"That's right."
"That I'm afraid of documentation."
"Yes, ex- wait, what"
gellaho
Forrester seems like great security
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
I mean you're SOME kind of criminal
just not like a Hardy Boys one
FancyShark
This plan could only have backfired if she tried to get another job, was audited, or if someone looked at her file
gellaho
Mapes!
FancyShark
I like that only now do they confirm it was a threat
Velo, Electric Ghost
Thank god Mapes is back
gellaho
Close like someone you lie to about your crimes
Brendo
Shoplift once, be banned from handling luggage. Steal millions, be given the keys to the company.
gellaho
Ah, memories
gellaho
Velo, Electric Ghost
What?!
FancyShark
wait, dammit. Did the Assassins actually try to assassinate someone?!
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
yeah this is just like that Joe
"my girlfriend turned into the moon."
GDC
The first of many exploded girlfriends.
Velo, Electric Ghost
I thought this was the start of that
I was looking forward to her death!
Brendo
Iola died so that Obama could resurrect.
Brendo
That's rough, buddy. Want to dodge a meal cart?
FancyShark
She died in book one! Gellaho made a movie about it!
gellaho
Air Mapes we'll call it
Velo, Electric Ghost
Hell yeah, Mapes
gellaho
Brilliant detectives
FancyShark
It's not like investors or loan companies demand background checks
Velo, Electric Ghost
Or they could simply steal the planes
Now they are the plane business
gellaho
Aircraft design leads into security, sure
Velo, Electric Ghost
I can't even imagine how much you have to fuck up at aircraft design to become a security guard
There is a pile of corpses behind that sentence
gellaho
I love his lack of discipline
FancyShark
He couldn't be tied down by flying the skies. No, checking random luggage for pocket knives was his calling.
GDC
I think that in reality those are very different career paths.
FancyShark
One would hope
. Rachel, got dam BITCH
you need hundreds of hours in a flight simulator before you can check a carry-on for nail clippers
FancyShark
Otherwise demotions fucking SUCK
Hi, @. Rachel, got dam BITCH !
gellaho
The phone ran
gellaho
You're not my mom
Velo, Electric Ghost
Improv is the only part of Joe's brain that doesn't have damage
. Rachel, got dam BITCH
i've seen improv troupes. brain damage is a requirement.
gellaho
"Is that her real last name, by the way? It can't be, right?"
GDC
Gina's going to get a-bended, if you get me.
FancyShark
"Why? Does she sleep there?"
"Joe, goddammit."
gellaho
"I am very satisfied, sir"
. Rachel, got dam BITCH
everything changed when the Gina Benders attacked
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
do we pretend to be surprised when Gina's in on it?
Velo, Electric Ghost
WHAT?!
gellaho
I was about to say they've seen this before, but
gellaho
Winner Take All is actually nine books after this one
Velo, Electric Ghost
Did they learn nothing from The Suffering Of George Swell?!
EXACTLY
oh
gellaho
They know where Mapes lives, I'm not sure how though
gellaho
FancyShark
Says they found his address in the phone book
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
he pointed it out as they flew over
frank is an expert cartographer
GDC
And no household could possibly own 2 cars.
gellaho
Into the bush!
Velo, Electric Ghost
God damn it, Mapes and Gina
Such a power couple
gellaho
Every girl's crazy 'bout a well-dressed bum
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Joe is so obsessed with gina he recognises her in silhouette
gellaho
Ram the gate
gellaho
The bearded men are like the ninja
Velo, Electric Ghost
The ninja who were cops?
FancyShark
Beards absorb sound
Velo, Electric Ghost
SHOOT THEM
gellaho
It seems like a very chipper scene to me, Joe
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Joe searched frantically with his eyes
FancyShark
He could have searched with his mouth like an algae eater, but it would have taken longer
gellaho
There's my guy
Velo, Electric Ghost
Shoot him Frank
FancyShark
"Ah geez, it's my ex"
GDC
Oh shit, the g-man
gellaho
Motherfucking Gray Man
gellaho
GDC
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
different kind of gray man
gellaho
Have any of you seen an extraordinarily ordinary man?
. Rachel, got dam BITCH
he's so extremely ordinary. more ordinary than you're thinking. extra-ordinary.
gellaho
The Network is on the air
GDC
The right Hardy in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world
gellaho
Frank was falling in love with the efficient computer system running the train
gellaho
Frank is going it alone. Presumably worried about Joe flying into a rage
GDC
Do be fair the subway that runs between ATL terminals is legit impressive.
gellaho
76 books in and Frank still doesn't know about acting
Velo, Electric Ghost
Impressive and now soiled with Frank's juices
gellaho
Mapes seems calm, cool and collected
FancyShark
And the entire book is revealed to be an epic Farmer's Insurance ad
gellaho
Joe of course ignores Frank's plan
gellaho
Joe's plan goes as well as expected
FancyShark
oop
gellaho
Everyone loves that fishing rod case
FancyShark
I hope the case is filled with uranium. Or chocolate.
gellaho
They are so enticed by this rod
. Rachel, got dam BITCH
two great tastes that go great together
my doctor said i shouldn't have milk plutonium, though
gellaho
Well, that can't end well for Mapes
Velo, Electric Ghost
I hope that case just has a normal fishing rod
Oh no Mapes
Gentleman Arch-Thief Badger
Hilariously poor choice of words, Mapes.
Velo, Electric Ghost
You were our hero
FancyShark
Never. Ever. Say that, Mapes
Velo, Electric Ghost
We all loved Mapes
gellaho
TIME FOR VIOLENCE AND BLOOD, KIDS
FancyShark
Mapes coughs, "Where's the rest of it?"
Gentleman Arch-Thief Badger
He could have just hit him with a blackjack, ghostwriter.
FancyShark
The Assassins have a lousy body count. I support this move.
gellaho
The children get a stabbing
GDC
That is a great time for a post mortem one liner.
gellaho
Joe deals with the nylon gang
FancyShark
haha, I love the "Joe is simple" wording
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
yeah that's how you beat a gunman, point out that he's being contradictory
he gets all embarrassed and unsure
FancyShark
Frustration makes the gun hard to fire
gellaho
JOE SMASH
GDC
That only works if you noticed that the shooter still has the safety on.
gellaho
Karate!
gellaho
No! The detergent!
FancyShark
There's something sexual about this but I can't say what
gellaho
Hey, Frank said it right
FancyShark
Frank became a real boy!
At the worst possible time!
Velo, Electric Ghost
Frank has learned object permanence
What a powerful arc
gellaho
Men in suits running all over the place
FancyShark
An entire second story is going on and we're not allowed to join in
gellaho
The Gray Man enters
Velo, Electric Ghost
If only there was less mens in suits
. Rachel, got dam BITCH
when they talk about nylon jackets, are we meant to picture brooklyn mooks in track suits? because i always do
GDC
Mapes is getting taken to a CIA Black site.
FancyShark
His gonads are going to learn some new verbs
Velo, Electric Ghost
Poor Mapes
I know we all loved him
gellaho
And he's dead!
gellaho
Are we having fun, children?
Velo, Electric Ghost
NOOOOO
gellaho
"They're taking all the travel soaps! It's unacceptable!"
FancyShark
"Where the hell is our operative Danny?"
gellaho
I only kind of beat them up
FancyShark
"We're here to collect a sandwich. It's filled with biological weapons."
gellaho
Remember when you exploded in that London basement and we had to solve that entire case by ourselves?
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
fishing rods duh
FancyShark
Once again, the Assassins are international terrorists who can't cover their tracks for shit
gellaho
I could have told you that, he didn't have any extremely unnecessary plastic surgery like Assassins always do
gellaho
Come on, Joe, it can't remind you of Iola that much. After all, she exploded
FancyShark
Just Mapes's head, though
gellaho
Hold on, if the Network was investigating this already, why did you want to hire Fenton in the first place?
FancyShark
Ghost writer forgot that part
Velo, Electric Ghost
I'm starting to think this makes no sense
gellaho
Genius detectives
Velo, Electric Ghost
Mapes died for nothing!
GDC
I really want to know about the relationship between Fenton and the Gray Man.
Colleagues? Rivals? Lovers?
Velo, Electric Ghost
Justice for Mapes!
gellaho
Let's just tell everyone about the ultra-secret Network and Assassins
Velo, Electric Ghost
Not a bad plan honestly. They can't kill you to keep you quiet if you've already told everyone
gellaho
Dundundun
Velo, Electric Ghost
Justice for Mapes!
gellaho
"Not that I want to do that or anything, just seems like what you're suggesting"
FancyShark
She grabs a bat. "Point me to the eyelashes."
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Joe forgot they have a girl on the team, but he takes any excuse to put on that dress
Frank gets it, and hopes one day Joe discovers his own truth
gellaho
Time to break into a dead man's house
gellaho
Gina, you were there when they made the plan
FancyShark
She's already forgotten her boyfriend died
gellaho
Forrester out here violating a dead guy's property
FancyShark
Forrester's just hoping to get back his Momma's Family Complete Series VHS set he lent to Mapes
gellaho
Calling the police!? Are you sure you're the Hardy Boys?
Velo, Electric Ghost
"Step one is we leave and let someone else deal with this."
"Step two is Diary Queen."
gellaho
And that old cop was one week from retirement
Velo, Electric Ghost
God damn it
gellaho
Mapes was a real failure is what I'm saying
Velo, Electric Ghost
They're never getting to Dairy Queen at this rate
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
yeah cops always go into active crime scenes without radioing it in
gellaho
Got some Mayberry-ass cops out there
gellaho
Just going to watch nameless characters for a while
FancyShark
This was a great plan, Frank
gellaho
Joe's got the rage going
FancyShark
Truly a security expert
gellaho
Suicide run from Joe
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
yeah ram that crazed twitchy gunman
gellaho
Case closed
FancyShark
Say insurance money. C'mon come oooooonnnnnnn
gellaho
"Yeah, but you can't prove my other crimes, so there"
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
"you might get a sweet deal if you inform on yourself though"
gellaho
MUST SADLY CONSUME
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
oh yeah Danny and Ted
FancyShark
"So you're single now..."
gellaho
You know the kind of day where you tackle everything
gellaho
And Ted goes to prison, after not appearing for 3/4 of the book
