41: Psi-Man: Main Street D.O.A. David Peters

Signore Bastardo

If a psionic fight lasts longer than three seconds you've already lost.

gellaho

Nevermind, log flume was pointless. Except for the ball kick

FancyShark

So, worth it

gellaho

Lol, Chuck fucked a robot

Signore Bastardo

She thought she was going to die.

FancyShark

They programmed a fuckbot to fear death

Signore Bastardo

Wes and Wyatt created a Westworld woman who believed she was alive, but her sole purpose was to seduce a dog piloting a man's body.

gellaho

Meanwhile, Wyatt shoots his dad into space

Signore Bastardo

We have to invent new consent laws for these kinds of violations.

The launchpad at Wonderworld will surely incinerate all visitors and most cloned dinosaurs.

FancyShark

"Clap, everyone! CLAP OR WE BURN!"

gellaho

This pseudo-lady is having a very rough day

Signore Bastardo

"I know now why you cry out when you orgasm, Psi-Man the Hu-Man. But it is something I could never do."

And with that, the Mexican sexbot straddled her long, tan legs around a crane, and lowered herself into the Wonderlava

"Nooooo," Chuck murmured.

gellaho

Get the psychic fight in at the last minute

FancyShark

Hell yes

Signore Bastardo

His last view of her before Rommel tugged him away by the pant leg, was of her no-nonsense fist, curled in a thumbs nup.

gellaho

Goddammit, Chuck. Stop being such a fucking wuss

Signore Bastardo

So he's strong enough to bend high-quality steel.

Can he bend NYSTEEL? The question remains.

FancyShark

Chuck, crush him into a meatball. It's what the murdered families deserve

Signore Bastardo

Beutel is a school bully.

gellaho

Ok, ok

Ok

Signore Bastardo

Beutel has a cybernetic hand??

FancyShark

Hold up. Beutel has a metal hand?!

gellaho

So, Reuel punches through a wall and damages the rocket

Signore Bastardo

This book is ALL OTHER BOOKS.

gellaho

yes, it was eaten by Rommel in the first book

gellaho

Because the rocket is inside the castle for some reason

Signore Bastardo

Do we have visual on the nysteel? CAN YOU CONFIRM?

FancyShark

🤞

Signore Bastardo

Chuck should crush his expensive replacement hand and just laugh at him.

Like ha ha, you're never going to have full functionality.

gellaho

Then his hand gets fused to the self healing metal of the rocket

FancyShark

Woop!

Signore Bastardo

He could keep edging TOWARDS the "disarm" pun but never make it.

FancyShark

"To infinity and beyond, asshole"

gellaho

Chuck Simon, world's largest wimp, still tries to help him

Signore Bastardo

They have blob-metal and they're wasting it on a one-way rocket.

gellaho

Scratch that, cowardly runs away

FancyShark

And the president was only angry over a cartoon

gellaho

Connie gives him the ol' thumbs up

FancyShark

Fuck yeah! Coward execution!

Chuck now realizes why Connie had no genitals

gellaho

Booooooo

gellaho

Psi-Man: Robofucker

FancyShark

hahahaha, he's dead by asphyxiation

Oh shit. Connie's about to reveal she's Mexican

gellaho

Jesus Fucking Christ, Peter David

FancyShark

Were pores too complicated?

gellaho

Goddammit

FancyShark

Well, I was right about the pheromones. But that wasn't the part I wanted to be right about

gellaho

What in the actual fuck

FancyShark

hahaha, holy shit

Not since the dull snap of frozen flesh separating in Titanic has there been such a jarring tone shift from a tender moment

Signore Bastardo

Can she actually feel love, or is she just programmed to say that to all of her honey pot traps?

gellaho

So, do you remember how Peter David's autobiography ended with a pitch for a fart novel?

FancyShark

oh no

gellaho

@Digital Fartwork jakesy can provide the proof of that

But so can I

FancyShark

nononononono

Signore Bastardo

Because if the former, that is way too fast to fall in love.

gellaho

President Fart everyone

gellaho

The End

FancyShark

Because all the assassins were used up on that first try

gellaho

We have defeated Psi-Man: Main Street D.O.A. That was quite painful

Radio Smasher GDC

This was horrible, thank you.

FancyShark

Yes it was. But fun as always to read along with you, Brendan, and the rest of the hotdoggers

Thank you, @gellaho !

gellaho

I wish I knew what he was trying to do

FancyShark

I think he's trying to make some weird mashup of 70s and 80s TV with the violence of 80s/90s action movies

Like what a teenager would try to do with no restraints

Or what we would do, after looking at that description

gellaho

The first two weren't that jokey. This one was a smorgasbord of madness and puns

FancyShark

He must've thought he was adding whimsy to contrast the darker stuff

gellaho

It also seems like he's trying to say something about Disney and media conglomerates, but they end up being the good guys? The stuff about theme parks is all over the place

That concludes what has to be the longest Book Cage

FancyShark

Thanks again, gellaho. Have a good night!

gellaho

It went on for so long that I forgot about football

Digital Fartwork jakesy

Ugh I have to try to make these again, I have to go into the office for now so it's tough but man I miss riffing on Peter

Fucking David with the fart thing again

gellaho

It is astonishing

Digital Fartwork jakesy

Peter also thinks he's a good writer

gellaho

Loves patting himself on the back

And a Rokku New Year

There are Peter David comics that I love

I have never read any of his work outside that

Signore Bastardo

I'm not filling in the blanks before President Fart.

Seems like it would be easier to just hijack the signal than to sneak a high-tech device that does the same under the president's chair in a world full of political violence.

FancyShark

Wyatt was a supervillain that only got to be the good guy because Peter David wanted to get political

Signore Bastardo

Wall-Eyed Pike and Muddy Mudskipper on the road to Pismo sounds like a fun cartoon though.