Ladies' Month continues in the Book Cage, with the return of Nancy Drew. Explosives seem to haunt all mystery teens, and not even the power of aviation can save Nancy. Will case #13 prove unlucky for Nancy? Will her trip to Seattle have any impact on the infant grunge scene? Why does the man on the cover seem happy about the crashing plane? Find out the answers to these questions and more, this Friday, 5pm eastern, as we read The Nancy Drew Files (tm) Case #13: Wings of Fear.
@Brockway Pin this, or I will be forced to throw a rock through your window with a note warning you to pin this.
Poor Nancy, a plane is going down and she has to pay more attention to the guy ogling her than to the tragedy
It...kind of sounds like we know why the bomb is there
I'll save my rocks. For now
In just over two hours, we will begin to uncover exactly how Nancy Drew was involved in 9/11
"I sure hope Ned knows how to fly a plane!"
I assumed she was, somehow.
Coming up on the hour, it's The Nancy Drew Files (tm) Case #13: Wings of Fear. Here's your preview, and don't be resentful like that handsome Sean Richmond.
Every unhappy person in baggage claim is actually acting out their favorite Grant Sweeney scenes
How old is Nancy meant to be?
Seventeenish?
I thought she was like 14?
anyone remember veronica mars? which was basically CW nancy drew
Because her old school friend is now a flight attendant.
I think she was in the original run, but these are the 90's ones
And... aren't they usually in their late teens and early 20s?
oh right, I think she's in college
you could be a flight attendant at 18
oh so she's over 18
I wouldn't describe an 18 year old as an old school friend.
nobody get weird about that
Even if they dropped out at 16.
depends on how long ago you went to school. they could have been elementary friends
True.
She is in college, I think. She was working at that comedy club in the last one. Ned's definitely in college
Ned also ate his SAT exam
Makes sense, then.
And by the last one, I mean 66 cases after this one
I love that Nancy has an actual rep while the Hardys have to explain who they are every single time
I think people are just pretending they don't know who Joe and Frank are in hopes they'll go away
Although, nobody in her home town comedy club knew who she was
It was all the illegal gambling and juice bar drinking
Right, the comedy club that didn't serve alcohol
In fairness, Joe and Frank being involved will occasionally lead to people dying in ways that wouldn't have if they'd just gone to the police.
I don't think that's a thing for Nancy Drew.
They could have foregone the entire illegal gambling venture if they'd just gotten a liquor license
Also, isn't Nancy Drew an actual detective, while the Hardy Boys just keep saying 'Hey, our dad is a detective! THIS INFERS WE HAVE THAT CAPACITY TOO.'
This one has a plane bomb, so we'll have to see
Meanwhile, Nancy's dad is, like, an attorney.
Or something.
Turns out it's not a hereditary skill
also their mom drank too much during pregnancy
Which I would argue is worse, because she's not an actual detective
Oh.
technically there's no law against investigating shit parallel to the cops
wait actually turns out there's several
But is there a law against turning up at crime scenes ahead of the cops and then taking evidence?
What?
All the laws?
Well, I never.
I dunno, worked out for the main character of Nightcrawler
This crashing airplane leaves Nancy feeling cold
"Nancy, give me a pose that says 'vulnerable'! IGNORE THE PLANE!"
Nancy's cat phone is ringing
Suicide already?
I'm not surprised.
It was an argument against superman's solid midwestern upbringing. It was nature beating nurture because in the end he was a wasp pupa. You can see him almost succumb to nurture right before Not Diane Lane tries to stab him. From his alien monster POV it's a comedy rather than a tragedy, because then he's able to embrace the change.
I know the feeling. I've worked after-hours on-call. But you could try unplugging the phone first.
Certainly seems like something Nancy needs to be involved with
If he was evil Supes because he was the freak at school, then the story changes to how good parenting can't prevent your school shooter kid.
But he specifically first attacks people who love him and have done nothing wrong.
"Jennifer, call the cops."
Jennifer seems to be under the impression that there's an airline serial killer
I like both of these creators as writers and I think people.
Also, HELLO LET'S DREW THIS.
"Not my jurisdiction, Jen." <click>
Looks more like she's uncomfortable around HS Brett Kavanaugh.
I can't believe the cops didn't listen to this hunch
"He was out on his usual drunk drive and someone must have killed him!"
My coworker's car crashed, and a girl I used to babysit is the only one who can close the case. I've already purchased her flight out; the airline can reimburse me.
You gotta help, Nancy! Soon dozens of cars will be falling off cliffs!
gasp!
Those are called "employees"
"Did you tell the police that, or just call me for no reason?"
They're certainly not called airline execs.
You know, smuggling! Like pilots do!
"I pestered him until he made a joke. Arrest him, Nancy!"
Nancy has either not met Ned yet, or forgotten him entirely
I'm guessing the latter
You know, smuggling! That thing smugglers famously joke about to people they are not sure won't hand them in to the accursed revenue!
oh sweet Ned, Nancy will find you one day
In fairness, it's easy to forget Ned.
I have done so twice in the past ten minutes.
Little rich girl
Back when plane tickets were cheaper than milk
<Daddy Drew> Nancy, shouldn't you say goodbye to your boyfriend and maybe tell him you're going to Seattle?
<Nancy> My wha?
<Ned> I still don't understand chopsticks!
<Daddy Drew> You know, Nate? He proposed to you?
"Also, how did you pay for this?"
<Nancy> Oh, Daddy, you and your jokes. ANYWAY GOING TO SEATTLE ON A WHIM.
"I stole your credit card. Bye, Dad!"
Did Nate propose to her?
I feel like that definitely happened at least once.
We know Ned's not in the picture because there's enough breakfast left for two people.
Yeah, I only live for you, Nancy
This book is really going to make us watch each character learn/be reminded of this character we just met.
<Nancy> So, someone died and I was asked to investigate and the moment I mentioned Seattle you stopped listening, didn't you. I could get you to eat your comb now.
Bess just killed a guy, so she can't believe her luck
<Bess> Yay Seattle!
Something about "I love the west coast" just doesn't jive with a visit to Seattle.
Oh, 1987
In fairness, I'm just impressed Bess has object permanence in this book.
Like it's an awesome town and it's VERY west coast but you can't swim, surf, or stare inappropriately at girls on roller skates.
"The Orient."
Seattle: Gateway to the East
Even in 1987, that was a weird word to use.
I heard The Orient from contemporary speakers this week.
Also, "Hong Kong, Tokyo. the Philippines which I assume is just another city"
You can't name a city in the Philippines, Bess?
Philadelphia?
Good to see the president of the airline is leaving this to Nancy
Is The Orient not okay? I thought the only no-go was describing people.
Were CEOS in the 1980s more willing to hear that... wait, did Nancy just assume a boy was involved, and turn out to be right?
Seems like this airline really wants this thing hushed up.
I didn't say it's not okay, just weird.
I need to know! I have a lot of Sargent paintings to discuss!
Jennifer just has to call her aunt, a local library, her favorite celebrity chef, and then if there's time, the cops
It's one step above banging a gong and going 'THE MYSTICAL FAR EAST.'.
Also, the 'Orient' does not now, and never has, included The Philipines.
I was going to read what was already posted but I’d like to see how confusing it is jumping in the middle of Nancy drew mysteries.
An airline run by college students, what could go wrong
When you hear 'the orient' in a movie the odds of someone appearing in yellowface jumps 200%
Either the very large country or the mysterious city of 'The Philipines'.
I'm on page 9
Skycap?
Jennifer can march into the president's office and tell him she's independently hired a teen PI but the cops won't listen.
Also, this is 1987. People knew what Manila was. I know Bess is stupid.
Okay, okay, I'm over it. I'll focus.
"Also, do you know how to rewire a damaged airplane, Nancy? Because none of us do and we've got a group of tourists in the air making peace with their gods."
So, since then, Nancy assumed that her friend Jess had blown her off for a boy.
And turned out to be right.
But investigating is my thing, gosh
Nancy fills the void in smuggling.
But it's a rich boy who happens to be the CEO of a whole airplane and is totally cool with hiring a teenage girl to investigate.
Honestly i would love a novel series about a teen Moriarty.
Nancy, it's 1987 in Seattle.
Jesus, Nancy. What tipped you off?
Here comes Stone Cold
Take a break. Let Jenn get put in mortal danger for a bit while you go to Pike's Place.
OH YEAH!
Get some coffee.
Take in an early Soundgarden show and be smug about hearing them before they got big for the rest of your life.
It’s a pretty powerful tool.
And you’ll have authority in Seattle after that too.
Honestly, you're not going to solve this before one of your close friends is held hostage by a deranged madman who assumes you're further along in this case then you actually are.
You may as well let them get on with the part before that.
We have a monument called The Black Hole Sun.
No.
I don't care if that's true.
No.
I reject that reality.
Lmao
Jennifer seems to not be terribly bothered by the broken window
My buddy lives near Eddie Vedder and his presence has its own gravity in the neighborhood.
He looks stressed. Seems like the kind of guy who owns planes.
Aircraft CEO's, famously known for being totally cool with having rocks thrown at them.
Rocks are always flying through airport windows
Yeah, OK, sure
Also, is he just... hanging out in the airport? Is that where airlines have their offices?
Ol' Boy-crazy Bess.
Because that sounds like something a child would dream up.
"Well, guess I'll leave then"
Late 80s Seattle means she is required to meet Bill Gates.
I heard a lot of airports are breeding hawks to keep the runways free of flying rocks.
Nothing suspicious here
She is required to meet Bill Gates, and Bess is required to misunderstand what he does so many times that he thinks Nancy is very nice to be a caregiver to such a poor, unfortunate girl.
I don’t know, we don’t really like the cops in Seattle.
Then again, that was mostly post 99
I'm trying to think of what you'd smuggle between 'the orient' and the west coast.
And I keep coming back to human trafficking.
It's human trafficking, isn't it.
Yeah. We’ve had a lot of people pulled out of shipping containers here.
Two whole days of training
Either that, or his 'airline' is more like Epstein's private plane.
Oh, hey, they got Bess out of the way early.
Day One: Don't Open Plane Door When In Air
Day Two: Your Ass WILL Get Pinched
She's going to be divorced from a flight attendant by next Monday.
Bye, Bess! I'm sure your sudden interest in being a flight attendant won't in any way play into the finale!
Bess was recruited into some rando's standup routine early in the last book. Maybe this always happens
Oh shit I forgot - 80s Seattle was incredibly violent.
I bet you could learn 80% of the job in two days, though.
So hot, you guys
I was a deckhand, and that was not intense training.
A lot of being a flight attendant in the earlier days was basically just good customer service and being pretty.
So, Bess may be good to go just on two days of training.
I'm sure this will be relevant to this children's book
"I hired Nancy Drew to solve my friend's death, and she borrowed my car to fuck my boyfriend."
It wasn't until after 9/11 that flight attendants had to be proficient in hand to hand combat.
Nancy Drew and the heroin shipment from the orient
Redhead, check
Djonin, this might be your origin story.
Okay, so we have Nancy Drew, two friends, and a random red head.
Did a tiger get smuggled in from… wait
Sounds like a pretty fun Friday.
Ok google, where do tigers come from
Who wants to take bets on who's going to be the first to die?
Snacking, check
I have no idea which of these four women is going to have a horrible fate.
Oh, Bess.
You female Chet.
...I'm sorry, Bess, that was too far.
That's Nancy way of saying "fat bitch"
Oh, don't cry. You look like a sad whale when you cry.
I swear if they’re smuggling tigers
Seriously, fat people have lives outside of food.
Cotilla the Hun
Not til after the 90s
Keene's ghostwriters are a lot more subtle about calling people fat than Dixon's ghostwriters.
For instance, Bess is best friends with a sociopathic teenage detective who repeatedly takes advantage of her.
And that's why Bess eats.
Alright, Miranda is insane
Miranda's been murdered several times already
What
oooookay
What.
Okay, so... Miranda's dead, right?
Miranda confirmed for malfunctioning Sim.
How long do we give her?
Two chapters?
If Miranda's insane, she's going to be the key witness
Oh geez, Chinese ming vases are the smuggled object huh
"I'm willing to disparage the dead to save my ass"
Those vases had better be just overflowing with heroin.
“What’s something expensive from the Far East”
“I dunno, vases”
"Cotilla is a MURDERER!" cackled Miranda. "I'm JOKING, of course!" as blood ran out of her ears.
I feel like there are literally thousands of ways to smuggle in a vase that are better than this.
So, so far so Keene.
He only smuggled heroin to insulate the vases from cracking.
Better bite on the vase to check if it's real
...wait.
Isn't Jennifer Miranda's room mate?
The original S&tC gals
Did... did she just never notice the vase?
Sleuth and the Crime
Is the CEO of an airline dating a girl in college that lives with a roommate?
Nancy briefly remembers her boyfriend while checking out another dude
A girl who appears to be entirely oblivious to literally everything that is not immediately in her field of view?
Yeah, that sounds on brand for an airline CEO.
No notes.
Also, hahahaha Ned you utter waste of plain jello.
Jennifer is dating the handsome boy Sean l. Talbot owns the airline and doesn't like cops
back then they treated you like an adult at 18 because you could get a real job and pay your own bills.
Ned has been talking to a broom with a nametag that reads "Nancy" for the past few months
Okay I actually just googled it, and Chinese artifacts like Ming vases are actually a more lucrative smuggling object than drugs for roughly the same level of risk.
Ned goes to Emerson? Oh Nancy.
And the rates have only been going up.
There are always more drugs.
Ned's been calling and having conversations with Nancy's answering machine for weeks without noticing.
They stopped making ming vases around 1642 for some reason.
Those damned vase-sniffing dogs though.
So that checks out.
Anyway, Ned and the broom will have a lovely church wedding.
"It's nice that you listen so much, Nancy."
"TURN TAPE OVER."
"You too, babe."
Someone should call the ming dynasty and complain
I do feel like if you're going to steal a ming vase, this is literally the worst way to do it.
And I'm not sure why you'd give it to an 18 year old girl who lives with a barely sentient plant.
...wait, no, that makes perfect sense.
I'm sure that's what it is, Sean
"I HAVEN'T SEEN MY FAMILY IN DAYS!"
"Ugh, so jealous"
Jenny, love, your boss is the guy in charge of the baggage and you have observation skills that make God regret giving you sight.
I'm pretty sure you're not a management trainee.
If I've learned one thing, it's that the cantankerous dude is always innocent.
I have never heard of Ned Nickerson but he sounds like a bunch of drywall in front of some unsalted crackers.
His summer job is insurance salesman.
You are so spot on, it's like you wrote him
That is the job a guy going to college and dating Nancy Drew decided he would do over the summer.
"HEY, YOU GOT ANYTHING ILLEGAL DOWN HERE?"
By his own choice.
The first clue is his name is Ned.
Ned Nickerson is the drywall that drywall wants to grow up to be.
He likes eating. That is all I've gleaned
Nancy, that is not how you be a detective.
Nickerson Insurance: We're not a front for organized crime!
Nancy immediately starts several fires
How... how have you survived this long when your first instinctive question is to ask about the crime you suspect them of.
That's... actually still better than the Hardy Boys.
Nancy has a terrifying reputation that cows people into confessions.
Joe would be stuck in the baggage return by now
The Hardy Boys make Nancy Drew look like Hercule Poirot
MUST EAT
Go to water, Nancy.
Go to water.
I’ve never read Nancy Drew, do her adventures end up with being held at gunpoint like Hardy Boys?
My understanding is that usually she causes other people to be held at gunpoint.
Page 33, seems legit
Also, does Nancy just forget that she has a boyfriend and also that Sean's girlfriend is right there?
So far, yes
She did get knocked out a couple of times in the last one
Good work, Jennifer!
Maybe she’s with Ned because she gets enough excitement in her sleuthing work
The first hail of bullets guarantee that Jennifer's funeral will be closed casket