51: Case 13 Wings of Fear Carolyn Keene

#13 The Nancy Drew Files

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Nancy takes off after a smuggling ring - and flies head-on into a major disaster!

Archive

DJ-100 model, Djonin

Ms N Nickerson. Ms

Even here, he can’t score.

Derpbat

The ghost writer definitely read this and understood part of it.

gellaho

I'll let you guess if this cliffhanger pays off

Gentleman Brendan

Nancy accused a bunch of people and run afoul of grumps but nothing's changed.

The 747 lead fell flat then IMMEDIATELY panned out

gellaho

If you guessed Nancy is conveniently sat next to someone Linda knows, congratulations

DJ-100 model, Djonin

Bess’s Mark huh.

Nancy’s friends got more interesting

gellaho

Mark is some dude Bess is "in love" with

DJ-100 model, Djonin

Oh.

I thought he was her mark

And there was some intrigue

gellaho

Little of consequence happens on the flight, so that's fun

Hmmmmmmm

gellaho

Maybe choose a different name for the children's book

Gentleman Brendan

Linda seems pretty hard to forget. She probably picks one passenger to bully every flight.

FancyShark

Enjoy the complimentary balloons at each table, counter, and underside of table

gellaho

And the disguise is off

gellaho

Nancy got the vital information that Linda was nervous

FancyShark

"There's also a camera, but I've been told it doesn't work"

Shark Puke Fetishist GDC

That place is terrifying under a black light.

gellaho

EAT AND FLY HOME

Gentleman Brendan

The '90s really began a couple years early with the arrival of hot pink plastic and turquoise clothes.

We got like four new sports teams, all tourquoise and purple.

FancyShark

The first time a baseball cap was worn backward, the tides shifted

gellaho

Nancy's detective work is convenient eavesdropping

DJ-100 model, Djonin

Is this more dockworker airport baggage handlers?

FancyShark

This isn't right. Grant should be regretting his life choices while someone screams about their toothbrush going missing

gellaho

Time for a great plan

gellaho

Ned's going to love this

Gentleman Brendan

They're just starting a bible study group.

Gentleman Brendan

See, it's not just me.

gellaho

"This is something to tell the police! But I won't!"

FancyShark

Paul's convinced he's not a virgin anymore

Gentleman Brendan

Ned's going to ask how her trip to seattle was and get dumped.

Derpbat

GG, Paul.

Gentleman Brendan

GDG: Grant

Derpbat

Nancy, in thirty years he'll be a pick up artist.

And it's all your fault.

You gave him this unearned confidence.

FancyShark

Paul will masturbate himself blind before the next full moon

It's fine

gellaho

Just conveniently wandering into situations

DJ-100 model, Djonin

I decided to look up Ned Nickerson and he is the most “default create a character” man I have seen.

Derpbat

Flight 747, a Boeing 747, arriving at 7:47?

gellaho

Nancy, just assuming that's the smuggler's mark

gellaho

I mean, there's no other reason for those numbers to show up on a plane

Gentleman Brendan
Derpbat

When was the 747 first flown, anyway?

DJ-100 model, Djonin

I get the feeling the author just learned what a jet was, and also just learned they are made in Seattle.

DJ-100 model, Djonin

1969

FancyShark

Nice

DJ-100 model, Djonin

Nice

gellaho

Just psychically verifying these are genuine

Shark Puke Fetishist GDC

Yeah when I was in Seattle I went to the museum where the first 747 is.

Derpbat

Gasp!

Gentleman Brendan

Who is funneling all these vases!

gellaho

Then just walks out of the plane with the crate without a problem

Derpbat

Is... Nancy secretly a bodybuilder?

DJ-100 model, Djonin

It’s going to be awkward when she learns she just intercepted a shipment for Seattle’s Asian Art Museum.

FancyShark

So this whole operation could have been foiled by a UPS driver

Derpbat

Ming vases are heavy, and having held jade figurines. That's impressive, Nancy.

gellaho

Nancy has assumed Maxell is not in on it, but Talbot is

Derpbat

I really want her to be totally wrong.

Gentleman Brendan

Oh boy, here comes the gun.

Derpbat

I need that.

FancyShark

Maxell is a name that never gets applied to a villain. She'll be-

gellaho

Oh, no. Maxell is in room 747. Because this book is dumb, that's important

DJ-100 model, Djonin

I really want this to just be stuff bound for the Asian Art Museum

FancyShark

dang

Derpbat

Yes.

Yesssssssssss.

FancyShark

Anyone with object permanence could have cracked this

gellaho

I can't believe handing all the evidence to a man I've barely talked to was bad

Gentleman Brendan

This entire case hinges on Rod being the Steve Buscemi character.

Derpbat

I don't think it matters if he does anything to Jen.

FancyShark

Confound you, Maxell!

Derpbat

But Bess is a real tragedy.

No matter how important she may be to science, however, Jess is still a plant.

And therefore is not protected by our human laws.

FancyShark

Now they have to climb up the 747 steps to the roof to stop Maxell from escaping in a helicopter hovering 747 feet off the ground

gellaho

Rather than trying to stop the plane to save Bess and Jennifer, she forces herself on the flight

Derpbat

As you do.

FancyShark

"Diplomatic immunity!"

DJ-100 model, Djonin

Nancy doesn’t really get how plane travel works.

gellaho

But first, snack

DJ-100 model, Djonin

Being a frozen 1940s woman

Derpbat

Ordinarily by now I'd say that I was being way too harsh on Jennifer and Bess.

But no.

By comparison, even after this display, Nancy's a super genius.

FancyShark

Where are they flying to? Because I refuse to accept that all the passengers went to sleep

Gentleman Brendan

Blake Maxell vs. Preston Talbot was, I need not remind you, the fencing duel to end all fencing duels at Wharton.

Derpbat

It's late at night on their way to Chicago.

A city... three hours from Seattle by plane?

Maybe four in a headwind?

Obviously they all went to sleep.

Gentleman Brendan

The Chicago Redeyes are a now defunct hockey team most notable for greatest number of deaths on ice in a single game.

Forced to go on with only 1 player, the final score of 74-7 is pro hockey's greate--GASP

gellaho

Linda gives up the ghost. And now there's a customs agent/assassin

FancyShark

I've flown in and out of Chicago enough to know that you do not enter O'Hare unconscious

gellaho

It's apparently very empty

Gentleman Brendan

I've had Malort and I disagree.

FancyShark

RICHARD DAWKINS! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!

Derpbat

This is how he funded his biology science studies!

STEALING BECAUSE WITHOUT GOD HE KNOWS NO MORALITY.

gellaho

A perfect trap

Derpbat

I'm pretty sure that whatever you're trying to escape, crashing an airliner is going to make your problems a thousand times worse.

gellaho

Because there will certainly not be an investigation into this PLANE BOMB

FancyShark

"And now, we will all watch 'Transformers 2'."

"YOU MONSTERS!"

Derpbat

In the Nancy Drew universe the only investigative authority is Nancy Drew.

When she's dead, everyone is free.

gellaho

NOT THE NEWSPAPERS! THE HUMANITY

FancyShark

"MY SUDOKU!"

DJ-100 model, Djonin

Q Anon makes more sense when you consider all those boomers grew up reading these mysteries.

gellaho

Well, crisis averted

Gentleman Brendan

97 people died so Nancy Drew could narc some art smugglers.

"Nothing to worry about folks. that was actually a deliberate nosedive because a bomb has exploded under your feet."

Derpbat

I'm sure the Communist Chinese will reward Nancy for saving their cultural heritage.

FancyShark

"By the way, if you look out the right side of the plane, you can see the people that were in the left side of the plane."

gellaho

Woo, that was close

gellaho
DJ-100 model, Djonin

“Puget Sound airport”?

Listen asshole

It’s called SeaTac and no one likes it but still

Gentleman Brendan

Nancy lives in an alternate universe though.

gellaho

Fire from a bomb? How unexpected

FancyShark

The plane fortunately only crushed a family of deer and a drunk who was planning to say he was deer hunting

Gentleman Brendan

This bomb was only planted so the story could wrap up back in Seattle were all our castmembers are.

gellaho

Just terrific

DJ-100 model, Djonin

The firemen are in on it

They just detonated the evidence

FancyShark

"Too much paperwork! Light this sumbitch up!"

Derpbat

And now there's no proof that anything happened except the word of Nancy Drew.

gellaho

That's good, I would have hated seeing the criminal apprehended

FancyShark

The police?! Who called them? Nancy's got this under control.

Derpbat

Wait, wait, wait.

FancyShark

oh wait, sean did

Derpbat

Seattle has police?

DJ-100 model, Djonin

“Damn it Nancy we called you in so we didn’t have to talk to SPD”

gellaho

"It's just that simple, kids. Try it yourselves!"

Derpbat

I'm pretty sure the evidence suggests Seattle doesn't have police.

In the 1980s, was it that easy?

DJ-100 model, Djonin

WTO was going to happen in ten years.

Derpbat

I feel like that's plausible.

Shark Puke Fetishist GDC

I don't think they started scanning checked baggage until after 9/11

gellaho

Sure, wiretapping. Why not

FancyShark

Linda whipped a rock through an airport window? Lady's got an arm on her

Derpbat

I'm just disappointed they put a bomb on the plane and didn't try to reroute to Cuba.

The movies lied to me.

DJ-100 model, Djonin

Thought that was the 70s

Derpbat

Maybe?

Gentleman Brendan

They did because of Lockerbie.

Derpbat

My only actual point of reference is a Monty Python sketch.

FancyShark

Detective Haggarty is getting too cliche for this shit

gellaho

Gotta wrap up the Horny Paul storyline

Derpbat

No, Nancy. DON'T LET HIM DOWN.

YOU HAVE MURDERED AT LEAST THREE WOMEN.

THEIR BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS

gellaho

Smooth

FancyShark

Nancy, just tell Paul his kiss made you gay

Gentleman Brendan

Must have infuriated Maxell to know how many dirty phonecalls Talbot was making on the company dime and B-Max couldn't do a thing about it without revealing his scheme.

Derpbat

Ordinarily, I would tell her that Paul is a step up from Ned.

But I'm pretty sure Ned has had more than one kiss before.

DJ-100 model, Djonin

Ehhh

Yea

Derpbat

And also isn't a murderer.

Paul is definitely now a murderer.

Gentleman Brendan

Nancy's going to have to dodge this guy she kissed who lives 3000 miles away.

Derpbat

She gets to fly away, but all the women who reject him now?

They have to deal with him forever.

gellaho

Then Nancy just leaves after telling that to Paul

gellaho
Derpbat

See?

...man, now I'm starting to think Paul's inevitable rampage is kind of justified.

I didn't expect her to pull that.

Gentleman Brendan

I can't imagine how crushing it must be to be too dumb to be Nancy Drew's boyfriend.

gellaho

The End

Derpbat

Well, that was madness.

FancyShark

We did it!

Great job everyone!

Derpbat

Gellaho, as always you are are the bravest of us all.

FancyShark

Thanks again, @gellaho !

gellaho

This cover is just disintegrating

Derpbat

Honestly, I was kind of joking about Paul becoming a pick-up-artist or murderer.

Gentleman Brendan

Ned on her front porch like a dog you forgot to let in before you left the house.

FancyShark

Disintegrating like Paul's grip on reality

Derpbat

It's nice to know they went with that.

Gentleman Brendan

Thank you for brightening our lives, Gellaho.

Derpbat

The broom's straw fell out.

And he realized it wasn't hair.

Gentleman Brendan

These strawberry-blonde brooms are all alike.

gellaho

That concludes this edition of The Book Cage for the Ladies

Gentleman Brendan

Ladies! What did you think of this?

Shark Puke Fetishist GDC

Thanks again, Gellaho.

DJ-100 model, Djonin

Huh. I didn’t think Ned touched her

Derpbat

She's not talking about Ned.

She's talking about her pet cocker spaniel.

gellaho

There was a lot of kissing in the comedy club mystery

Derpbat

I choose to declare that non-canon.

gellaho

And Nancy getting sexual thrills from clues

Derpbat

Because of that.

gellaho

Not much of that here