DJ-100 model, Djonin
Ms N Nickerson. Ms
Even here, he can’t score.
51: Case 13 Wings of Fear Carolyn Keene
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Nancy takes off after a smuggling ring - and flies head-on into a major disaster!
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Derpbat
The ghost writer definitely read this and understood part of it.
gellaho
I'll let you guess if this cliffhanger pays off
Gentleman Brendan
Nancy accused a bunch of people and run afoul of grumps but nothing's changed.
The 747 lead fell flat then IMMEDIATELY panned out
gellaho
If you guessed Nancy is conveniently sat next to someone Linda knows, congratulations
DJ-100 model, Djonin
Bess’s Mark huh.
Nancy’s friends got more interesting
gellaho
Mark is some dude Bess is "in love" with
DJ-100 model, Djonin
Oh.
I thought he was her mark
And there was some intrigue
gellaho
Little of consequence happens on the flight, so that's fun
Hmmmmmmm
gellaho
Maybe choose a different name for the children's book
Gentleman Brendan
Linda seems pretty hard to forget. She probably picks one passenger to bully every flight.
FancyShark
Enjoy the complimentary balloons at each table, counter, and underside of table
gellaho
And the disguise is off
gellaho
Nancy got the vital information that Linda was nervous
FancyShark
"There's also a camera, but I've been told it doesn't work"
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
That place is terrifying under a black light.
gellaho
EAT AND FLY HOME
Gentleman Brendan
The '90s really began a couple years early with the arrival of hot pink plastic and turquoise clothes.
We got like four new sports teams, all tourquoise and purple.
FancyShark
The first time a baseball cap was worn backward, the tides shifted
gellaho
Nancy's detective work is convenient eavesdropping
DJ-100 model, Djonin
Is this more dockworker airport baggage handlers?
FancyShark
This isn't right. Grant should be regretting his life choices while someone screams about their toothbrush going missing
gellaho
Time for a great plan
gellaho
Ned's going to love this
Gentleman Brendan
They're just starting a bible study group.
Gentleman Brendan
See, it's not just me.
gellaho
"This is something to tell the police! But I won't!"
FancyShark
Paul's convinced he's not a virgin anymore
Gentleman Brendan
Ned's going to ask how her trip to seattle was and get dumped.
Derpbat
GG, Paul.
Gentleman Brendan
GDG: Grant
Derpbat
Nancy, in thirty years he'll be a pick up artist.
And it's all your fault.
You gave him this unearned confidence.
FancyShark
Paul will masturbate himself blind before the next full moon
It's fine
gellaho
Just conveniently wandering into situations
DJ-100 model, Djonin
I decided to look up Ned Nickerson and he is the most “default create a character” man I have seen.
Derpbat
Flight 747, a Boeing 747, arriving at 7:47?
gellaho
Nancy, just assuming that's the smuggler's mark
gellaho
I mean, there's no other reason for those numbers to show up on a plane
Gentleman Brendan
Derpbat
When was the 747 first flown, anyway?
DJ-100 model, Djonin
I get the feeling the author just learned what a jet was, and also just learned they are made in Seattle.
DJ-100 model, Djonin
1969
FancyShark
Nice
DJ-100 model, Djonin
Nice
gellaho
Just psychically verifying these are genuine
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Yeah when I was in Seattle I went to the museum where the first 747 is.
Derpbat
Gasp!
Gentleman Brendan
Who is funneling all these vases!
gellaho
Then just walks out of the plane with the crate without a problem
Derpbat
Is... Nancy secretly a bodybuilder?
DJ-100 model, Djonin
It’s going to be awkward when she learns she just intercepted a shipment for Seattle’s Asian Art Museum.
FancyShark
So this whole operation could have been foiled by a UPS driver
Derpbat
Ming vases are heavy, and having held jade figurines. That's impressive, Nancy.
gellaho
Nancy has assumed Maxell is not in on it, but Talbot is
Derpbat
I really want her to be totally wrong.
Gentleman Brendan
Oh boy, here comes the gun.
Derpbat
I need that.
FancyShark
Maxell is a name that never gets applied to a villain. She'll be-
gellaho
Oh, no. Maxell is in room 747. Because this book is dumb, that's important
DJ-100 model, Djonin
I really want this to just be stuff bound for the Asian Art Museum
FancyShark
dang
Derpbat
Yes.
Yesssssssssss.
FancyShark
Anyone with object permanence could have cracked this
gellaho
I can't believe handing all the evidence to a man I've barely talked to was bad
Gentleman Brendan
This entire case hinges on Rod being the Steve Buscemi character.
Derpbat
I don't think it matters if he does anything to Jen.
FancyShark
Confound you, Maxell!
Derpbat
But Bess is a real tragedy.
No matter how important she may be to science, however, Jess is still a plant.
And therefore is not protected by our human laws.
FancyShark
Now they have to climb up the 747 steps to the roof to stop Maxell from escaping in a helicopter hovering 747 feet off the ground
gellaho
Rather than trying to stop the plane to save Bess and Jennifer, she forces herself on the flight
Derpbat
As you do.
FancyShark
"Diplomatic immunity!"
DJ-100 model, Djonin
Nancy doesn’t really get how plane travel works.
gellaho
But first, snack
DJ-100 model, Djonin
Being a frozen 1940s woman
Derpbat
Ordinarily by now I'd say that I was being way too harsh on Jennifer and Bess.
But no.
By comparison, even after this display, Nancy's a super genius.
FancyShark
Where are they flying to? Because I refuse to accept that all the passengers went to sleep
Gentleman Brendan
Blake Maxell vs. Preston Talbot was, I need not remind you, the fencing duel to end all fencing duels at Wharton.
Derpbat
It's late at night on their way to Chicago.
A city... three hours from Seattle by plane?
Maybe four in a headwind?
Obviously they all went to sleep.
Gentleman Brendan
The Chicago Redeyes are a now defunct hockey team most notable for greatest number of deaths on ice in a single game.
Forced to go on with only 1 player, the final score of 74-7 is pro hockey's greate--GASP
gellaho
Linda gives up the ghost. And now there's a customs agent/assassin
FancyShark
I've flown in and out of Chicago enough to know that you do not enter O'Hare unconscious
gellaho
It's apparently very empty
Gentleman Brendan
I've had Malort and I disagree.
FancyShark
RICHARD DAWKINS! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!
Derpbat
This is how he funded his biology science studies!
STEALING BECAUSE WITHOUT GOD HE KNOWS NO MORALITY.
gellaho
A perfect trap
Derpbat
I'm pretty sure that whatever you're trying to escape, crashing an airliner is going to make your problems a thousand times worse.
gellaho
Because there will certainly not be an investigation into this PLANE BOMB
FancyShark
"And now, we will all watch 'Transformers 2'."
"YOU MONSTERS!"
Derpbat
In the Nancy Drew universe the only investigative authority is Nancy Drew.
When she's dead, everyone is free.
gellaho
NOT THE NEWSPAPERS! THE HUMANITY
FancyShark
"MY SUDOKU!"
DJ-100 model, Djonin
Q Anon makes more sense when you consider all those boomers grew up reading these mysteries.
gellaho
Well, crisis averted
Gentleman Brendan
97 people died so Nancy Drew could narc some art smugglers.
"Nothing to worry about folks. that was actually a deliberate nosedive because a bomb has exploded under your feet."
Derpbat
I'm sure the Communist Chinese will reward Nancy for saving their cultural heritage.
FancyShark
"By the way, if you look out the right side of the plane, you can see the people that were in the left side of the plane."
gellaho
Woo, that was close
gellaho
DJ-100 model, Djonin
“Puget Sound airport”?
Listen asshole
It’s called SeaTac and no one likes it but still
Gentleman Brendan
Nancy lives in an alternate universe though.
gellaho
Fire from a bomb? How unexpected
FancyShark
The plane fortunately only crushed a family of deer and a drunk who was planning to say he was deer hunting
Gentleman Brendan
This bomb was only planted so the story could wrap up back in Seattle were all our castmembers are.
gellaho
Just terrific
DJ-100 model, Djonin
The firemen are in on it
They just detonated the evidence
FancyShark
"Too much paperwork! Light this sumbitch up!"
Derpbat
And now there's no proof that anything happened except the word of Nancy Drew.
gellaho
That's good, I would have hated seeing the criminal apprehended
FancyShark
The police?! Who called them? Nancy's got this under control.
Derpbat
Wait, wait, wait.
FancyShark
oh wait, sean did
Derpbat
Seattle has police?
DJ-100 model, Djonin
“Damn it Nancy we called you in so we didn’t have to talk to SPD”
gellaho
"It's just that simple, kids. Try it yourselves!"
Derpbat
I'm pretty sure the evidence suggests Seattle doesn't have police.
In the 1980s, was it that easy?
DJ-100 model, Djonin
WTO was going to happen in ten years.
Derpbat
I feel like that's plausible.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I don't think they started scanning checked baggage until after 9/11
gellaho
Sure, wiretapping. Why not
FancyShark
Linda whipped a rock through an airport window? Lady's got an arm on her
Derpbat
I'm just disappointed they put a bomb on the plane and didn't try to reroute to Cuba.
The movies lied to me.
DJ-100 model, Djonin
Thought that was the 70s
Derpbat
Maybe?
Gentleman Brendan
They did because of Lockerbie.
Derpbat
My only actual point of reference is a Monty Python sketch.
FancyShark
Detective Haggarty is getting too cliche for this shit
gellaho
Gotta wrap up the Horny Paul storyline
Derpbat
No, Nancy. DON'T LET HIM DOWN.
YOU HAVE MURDERED AT LEAST THREE WOMEN.
THEIR BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS
gellaho
Smooth
FancyShark
Nancy, just tell Paul his kiss made you gay
Gentleman Brendan
Must have infuriated Maxell to know how many dirty phonecalls Talbot was making on the company dime and B-Max couldn't do a thing about it without revealing his scheme.
Derpbat
Ordinarily, I would tell her that Paul is a step up from Ned.
But I'm pretty sure Ned has had more than one kiss before.
DJ-100 model, Djonin
Ehhh
Yea
Derpbat
And also isn't a murderer.
Paul is definitely now a murderer.
Gentleman Brendan
Nancy's going to have to dodge this guy she kissed who lives 3000 miles away.
Derpbat
She gets to fly away, but all the women who reject him now?
They have to deal with him forever.
gellaho
Then Nancy just leaves after telling that to Paul
gellaho
Derpbat
See?
...man, now I'm starting to think Paul's inevitable rampage is kind of justified.
I didn't expect her to pull that.
Gentleman Brendan
I can't imagine how crushing it must be to be too dumb to be Nancy Drew's boyfriend.
gellaho
The End
Derpbat
Well, that was madness.
FancyShark
We did it!
Great job everyone!
Derpbat
Gellaho, as always you are are the bravest of us all.
FancyShark
Thanks again, @gellaho !
gellaho
This cover is just disintegrating
Derpbat
Honestly, I was kind of joking about Paul becoming a pick-up-artist or murderer.
Gentleman Brendan
Ned on her front porch like a dog you forgot to let in before you left the house.
FancyShark
Disintegrating like Paul's grip on reality
Derpbat
It's nice to know they went with that.
Gentleman Brendan
Thank you for brightening our lives, Gellaho.
Derpbat
The broom's straw fell out.
And he realized it wasn't hair.
Gentleman Brendan
These strawberry-blonde brooms are all alike.
gellaho
That concludes this edition of The Book Cage for the Ladies
Gentleman Brendan
Ladies! What did you think of this?
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Thanks again, Gellaho.
DJ-100 model, Djonin
Huh. I didn’t think Ned touched her
Derpbat
She's not talking about Ned.
She's talking about her pet cocker spaniel.
gellaho
There was a lot of kissing in the comedy club mystery
Derpbat
I choose to declare that non-canon.
gellaho
And Nancy getting sexual thrills from clues
Derpbat
Because of that.
gellaho
Not much of that here