it just sounds boring, like old D&D/White Wolf settings where the NPCs were dealing with all the plothooks
[4:59 PM]
there's nothing for Tammy Radbody, Ford Trukk and Gnag the Nameless to do, it's all for Donut Steele, Superalloy Darkshine and Manic Pixie Dream Underage Hooker to deal with
Alpha Scientist Javo
STEELE and ICE
gellaho
COLD STEELE
1
[5:00 PM]
get it
Alpha Scientist Javo
oh jesus christ
[5:00 PM]
now I do
Science God Q Alchemy
As soon as the hero says "I work alone" you know we're in for a whole new level of writing
gellaho
So, the setting is inaccurate from the very first sentence
Alpha Scientist Javo
Hes going to meet a big titted scientist working to cure the virus who is going to have an overwhelming urge to milk the jizz from him like its the last dick on earth
gellaho
We're introduced to Dev Cooper here. He flew to New York from Santa Fe
[5:03 PM]
Flew. So now there are working airports and airplanes
[5:04 PM]
But the New York street gangs have surface to air missiles
Alpha Scientist Javo
and limos and uniformed marines(edited)
Science God Q Alchemy
I think the author forgot about how he ended the world at the start of this
gellaho
That the gangs also decided to not use in the last book when Steele was airdropped in to gang territory, or the two times news helicopters flew over those same areas
Alpha Scientist Javo
I guess the nukes were just for ambiance
Science God Q Alchemy
Did this book series start out as sux million dollar man fan fic?
gellaho
Also, nobody knows anything about California, Hawaii or Alaska even though they have planes
Science God Q Alchemy
I meant six million but I'm keeping it(edited)
[5:05 PM]
Steele is the sux million dollar man
@gellaho
Also, nobody knows anything about California, Hawaii or Alaska even though they have planes
Science God Q Alchemy
Nobody bothered to check on alaska
Alpha Scientist Javo
Alaska is like just fine
[5:06 PM]
theyd ont even know about the virus
Science God Q Alchemy
They don't even know the world ended their quality of life is exactly the same
gellaho
So this Dev guy is from Texas, which has seceded but was working in Los Alamos on this Federal project
[5:07 PM]
Also, antisemitism
Science God Q Alchemy
Texas finally seceded. Made sure the federal government was crippled before they did
gellaho
A lot of this is summary of the setting of the first book. Not the story, because Steele has been barely mentioned
gellaho
Also, every man in this book seems to be around 42 years old
Alpha Scientist Javo
42 year old men who no ones likes because they are Texan
[5:12 PM]
Someone get a big white sheet because we got some projection
gellaho
Looks like this guy is taking over for the dead Lady Scientist. We know have Texan Psychiatrist
Science God Q Alchemy
Never let your insecurities be your cowriter
gellaho
I have great news about Steele's dick!
Science God Q Alchemy
Can't forget about Steele's fleshy have man dick
[5:14 PM]
Author just really wanted to make sure we know his dick works, for some reason
Old Man Brendan
We moved your memories onto a computer, then put the computer where your brain is, then you got Wolverined.
[5:15 PM]
Did they back him up to an external drive first?
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
can't let the men reading this as a power fantasy imagine even for a second that his sick cyborg powers had the cost of no fuck
Science God Q Alchemy
Why did they consider preserving the dick to be of utmost priority as they scrapped his remains from rubble
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
gender essentialism!
[5:16 PM]
he ain't a MAN without his MANLY PENIS, which ONLY MEN HAVE and WITHOUT WHICH NO MANLINESS can EXIST
gellaho
He had a psychocybernetic biochip in his brain that they used to extract his skills and memories
Science God Q Alchemy
It's a weird fixation on him being able to have kids too, like he could just have a techno dick
gellaho
Everyone is a dick, and is dressed like a cartoon
Science God Q Alchemy
Ship of theseus problem that they do nothing with
gellaho
How are there tailors and barbers
Science God Q Alchemy
Didn't 90% of the population die from a virus?
[5:20 PM]
How is society not like, mad maxin' it(edited)
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
i would take umbrage to this depiction of my home but tbh there are cowboys just walking around
[5:21 PM]
and in santa fe there are art cowboys
Science God Q Alchemy
Yeah you got cowboy dressed dudes out here too
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
i went to a concert and there were leather jacket rock dads, older women with turquoise and squash blossoms, an old man in a stetson and chinese dragon robe, and a Tenggrist priest
gellaho
I laughed out loud when I read that this Dev guy has an IQ of 197
Science God Q Alchemy
"well pardner this here painting is an expression of the deep longing in my soul" art cowboy
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
although to be fair the band brought the Tenggrist priest
[5:22 PM]
he was their priest
gellaho
Dev is another guy in his 40s whose wife left him
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
the robe-and-stetson guy though was pure Santa Fe
Science God Q Alchemy
God why did the most boring man in existence survive the 3 different apocalypses that happened in this world
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
the band was the HU, the priest was there to bless the stage (possibly)
Science God Q Alchemy
It's like they how a reddit would describe himself
gellaho
Texan Psychiatrist only speaks in questions
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
he was cursed by a goblin to be eternally quizzical
gellaho
He literally asks 8 questions in a row
[5:25 PM]
This is some solid exposition
Science God Q Alchemy
An IQ of 197 should be enough for this guy to know IQ is bullshit
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
8HIT COMBO! INSPIRING!
@gellaho
Dev is another guy in his 40s whose wife left him
Dr Skin, the dandy
Because she wasn't ready to settle down. The author is making progress, on his hatred for his wife's obvious infidelity. Because of of his non human looking penis. He has a fantasy of an entirely adequate penis.
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
oh wait, it was 8 questions, so
8HIT COMBO? INSPIRING?(edited)
Science God Q Alchemy
" my ideal self would be a cybernetic killing machine but with an adequatly functioning dick that wasn't infertile"
Dr Skin, the dandy
Dev is here to answer 1987 mailed in fan complaints.
@Science God Q Alchemy
" my ideal self would be a cybernetic killing machine but with an adequatly functioning dick that wasn't infertile"
Dr Skin, the dandy
I love that you guys taught me "Showing your ass"
Science God Q Alchemy
"Steele's not impotent, it's important everyone know that. Also he can have kids, his sperm is doing fantastic. Also very important for the story that everyone know this"
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
very, very telling that the computer brain is just like "yeah it's fine" but the real human dick is super important
[5:28 PM]
JD Masters: soul is stored in the balls
@Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
very, very telling that the computer brain is just like "yeah it's fine" but the real human dick is super important
Science God Q Alchemy
"can I even call myself a man? Oh wait yeah I still have a dick"
[5:29 PM]
It reminds me on star trek where they had to really drive home the point that data could fuck.
gellaho
ROBO-HANDS, ROBO-HANDS, ROBO-HANDS
Dr Skin, the dandy
When we detach femininity from birth and care isn't the milestone. When we can have positive masculine traits without a cock would seem to be the next milestone. I predict a wave of hyper masculine activity by females that will REALLY threaten old conservatives.
gellaho
Science God Q Alchemy
Do the hands vibrate?
Dr Skin, the dandy
It's the grasping horrified nature of them.
Like if they were relaxed they wouldn't trouble me so much.
gellaho
"The lock releases are slaved to your brain," Higgins said.
I don't like that phrasing
Science God Q Alchemy
"my hands detach and are mechanical. I'm very pent up because I am afraid to risk my precious human penis attempting to masturbate with them"
Dr Skin, the dandy
Isn't slaved just a process term?
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
i mean, my hands do that when i'm stressed too
and yeah "slaved" is just computer mechanical terminology
gellaho
It's fairly outdated
People usually say "client/server" these days
Science God Q Alchemy
"this penis is the last vestige of my humanity, and I will keep a tight grip on it. Figuratively. Not literally. Can't risk it"
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
if i was in a firefight and also was filled with 90 pounds of electronics, my claws would be up
Dr Skin, the dandy
I think we should keep the word but ditch the practice.
Science God Q Alchemy
I am not going to let go of the real human penis thing, it's so fucking weird
Dr Skin, the dandy
It's so clear.
gellaho
gellaho
"Rocket darts"
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
you are now Fuckhands McSteele
and your BIG MEATY CLAWS ain't just for attracting mates
gellaho
Lol, they replaced all his teeth
Dr Skin, the dandy
"Don't mix up your left and right"
Science God Q Alchemy
Compensated is an interesting word when talking about a 10 mil hand canon
gellaho
And he has a "nysteel" jaw
Is "nysteel" a real thing? This dude has said it about 100 times and has not bothered explaining it
Science God Q Alchemy
Love the bits in military fiction when they dryly describe all the weaponry
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
a cursory google turns up no results
gellaho
Oh, also: Steele has been naked this whole time
Dr Skin, the dandy
Nylon must have been all the rage.
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
with his NORMAL HUMAN DICK completely out
Science God Q Alchemy
Also he definitely can't masturbate with gun hands, really risk that human penis he has weirdly grafted to his robo body
gellaho
He probably has a fleshlight attachment
Dr Skin, the dandy
This is nothing. Tom Clancy. Anyone who can read that should be checking user agreements for a living.
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
those bits are dumb but part of me kinda likes them
the same part that reads the D&D equipment splatbooks for fun
Dr Skin, the dandy
I think his wife left him for personality reasons and he just can't conceive it wasn't because of dick.
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
oh yeah for these chuds it all comes down to dick
Science God Q Alchemy
As I read the load outs in these books I always wonder " am I meant to be masturbating to this?"
gellaho
Sounds like we're going to meet Ice. This might start going sideways really fast
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
i bet he said "street" with a brief pause before and after, like a 50s housewife picking up a dead mouse
Dr Skin, the dandy
I don't remember how Steele got injured already
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
the goldurn ethnics blowed him up
gellaho
The first time he got shot, exploded, and then part of a building fell on him
The second time he and his lady friend were shot by a helicopter minigun
Science God Q Alchemy
Let's place bets on if ices dialogue will have a ton of apostrophes
Dr Skin, the dandy
on the word yo.
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
take one drink for every 5 apostrophes in Ice's dialogue
gellaho
Steele eats baby food like Robocop
Dr Skin, the dandy
Yo'
Science God Q Alchemy
I'm at work
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
slurpp
Dr Skin, the dandy
I promised I would stop drinking but I have a problem that requires no Xmas booze is in the house.
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
probably for the best, odds are that you'd get zooted faster than my friend keira after a conference is held at the hotel she works at
Science God Q Alchemy
He eats? So he still has a human stomach and colon along with his dick?
Dr Skin, the dandy
What's his ass like?
This is the real question.
Science God Q Alchemy
Normal human ass, definitely not a super weird and gross butthole
The colon and stomach are the first things I'd get roboted out
Dr Skin, the dandy
How much more interesting to give him a waste shute he feels awful about, than a normal dick.
gellaho
He also has a miniature fusion reactor, so I don't know why he has to eat anyway
Science God Q Alchemy
Fuck it robot dick too, unlike jd masters I'm not a coward
Science God Q Alchemy
Jd masters is worse at his job than gregory godek
There I said it
Dr Skin, the dandy
1. The ability to control sleep. It's so weird this is a thing that requires so much management.
2. The waste process. Just a heavy little pellet. You can just throw it discreetly
gellaho
This starts with Texas Border patrol, then goes somewhere I didn't expect
Science God Q Alchemy
Fucking based
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
wait, a take in tis book that isn't ice cold??
wack
Science God Q Alchemy
The Chads up in el paso solving the problems
Dr Skin, the dandy
I didn't want to spoil the ambience.
But what a weird take.
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
grunkle stan voice now this is beautiful
gellaho
I can't figure this dude out
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
treating addiction like a health thing instead of a crime thing is one of my beliefs, can't believe it's here of all places
it's so bizarre after all the weird political takes and gender essentialism
Dr Skin, the dandy
We have no infrastructure, screamer zombies running around and no A&E department. But addiction is a disease and prohibition causes criminal markets. What? No we kill burglars.
Science God Q Alchemy
Incels up on the coast just built a super tough robot man
Dr Skin, the dandy
I want 'Peacemaker' to make an appearance.
I really felt short changed in the first episode.
Science God Q Alchemy
I bet el paso will be destroyed by their stupid liberal decadence or something
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
such a weird mix of takes
Science God Q Alchemy
Or turn out to be shady
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
this is the most bizarre book
Science God Q Alchemy
Like the walking dead whenever they people who aren't awful
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
but like, before it's "revealed" that el paso is terrible, i want it going on the record how good this addiction take is
Dr Skin, the dandy
Author coming to whatever level of thought he reached.
Interesting to know his age
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
this is legit a good idea
Dr Skin, the dandy
Drug clinics?
Science God Q Alchemy
Decriminalization and rehabilitation
I knew a libertarian dude who was like " make all drugs legal but don't offer any help to addicts"
Dr Skin, the dandy
They don't work either. I've had a lot of addiction in my family. It feeds the addiction and the substitute drugs are as bad.
Science God Q Alchemy
It was weird
gellaho
At least he didn't say Ice's voice was "unmistakably black" this time
Science God Q Alchemy
Also pet peeves, a hot take isn't a good take, just an unusual one. A cold take is just an average or uncontroversial take
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Does his robot brain let him know chest circumference at a glance
gellaho
Honestly, it might
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
he found out later, using his robot hands
Science God Q Alchemy
Bam apostrophes
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
during a moment of passion
Science God Q Alchemy
With his normal human dick
gellaho
Between Ice and Texan Psychiatrist, I feel like I won't be seeing a lot of the letter g
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
after he consummates his passion, he returns to the science men and asks them to amp up his dick
Science God Q Alchemy
"hey yo I be all black an shit"
Dr Skin, the dandy
Ain't goin to be doin them g's
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
for, after seeing Ice's Ice Pick up close, he feels that nature has been inadequate to him
Science God Q Alchemy
Ice is working with a soft 10 inches
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
ice's dick is like Ira Gamagori's height
Dr Skin, the dandy
Now you say that, there's definitely a reference to black dick coming. Ice is going to say something like "Well I guess it ain't true what they say"
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
arbitrary for comedic and dramatic purposes
gellaho
He's also always wearing sunglasses
He ends their conversation by putting on his sunglasses, laying on a bed and turning on a TV
Dr Skin, the dandy
Shouldn't be touching people's eyes.
Science God Q Alchemy
I'm just wondering if the editor had to drop some n bombs the writer peppered into ices dialogue
Dr Skin, the dandy
No because this is black on a pedestal
Science God Q Alchemy
God steele wants to fuck ice so hard
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
yeah this is like, the Schwartzubermenschen, not garden-variety racism
Science God Q Alchemy
Yeah, I was going for more if a "clueless white guy not sure why it's an issue"
Dr Skin, the dandy
This is "Ideal black friend territory"
A sort of hyper masculine god. The anti Venus.
Science God Q Alchemy
"but that's how they talk" he would whine at his editor
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
that's why i called him Superalloy Darkshine
pictured: ice
Science God Q Alchemy
Tbh I kind of want to fuck ice after reading some of those descriptions
gellaho
Dr Skin, the dandy
Ice has a bigger head I think.
gellaho
How are there large, bonded private security companies
Who is giving out the bonds?
Science God Q Alchemy
There were no second drafts
Or editors
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
i don't have a picture of superalloy darkshine with a bigger head
Science God Q Alchemy
Or sobriety
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
yeah :Pensive3D:
Dr Skin, the dandy
This world is being built by the seat of the authors pants.
Dr Skin, the dandy
You guys have so much anime in the bank.
gellaho
Of course security checked ice
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
i just looked it up because he's the most recent example of well-intentioned racism i have in my banks
i know exactly 6* animes
Dr Skin, the dandy
The proportions of the shoulders are so problematic and so much better than real human
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
would you like to know the worst thing about superalloy darkshine
Dr Skin, the dandy
Now that the author has Ice, there is zero probability he knows what to do with Ice, until his heroic sacrifice at some point.
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
i'm like 90% sure he was a typical japanese dude and this is his super saiyan form
Dr Skin, the dandy
The glory.
gellaho
Me and Ice are on the same page when referring to Lady Scientist
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
ah, nuthin'
my White Dude Writing Black Dude bingo card is filling
Science God Q Alchemy
"besides I bet you got a sweet duck upgrade to go with the new robot body"
Dr Skin, the dandy
"That were the lady Doctor died?"
He's being written like a fucking 6 year old now.
gellaho
That's the second nuthin' so far
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
:pain:
:pain:
Science God Q Alchemy
"ain't no use agonizing, or laying blame to any particular individual who may or may not be responsible for your current situation"
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
god that's how i actually talk tho
i've used "ain't none" and "diagetic" in the same sentence
gellaho
Oh, brother
Science God Q Alchemy
"you are what you are, just accept that and that it happened and it's nobodies fault and move on"
Dr Skin, the dandy
Weird time to threaten him
Science God Q Alchemy
God he is just nailing it writing a black guy
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
it's all building up to their night of sweet sweet love
Dr Skin, the dandy
Just so you know...were in this together but I don't feel comfortable going to Harlem with you. Just so you know I'm kind of twitchy about the whole situation and may kill you from fear.
Science God Q Alchemy
Just, no complaints, totally perfect
gellaho
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
and ice is like "you're valid, i recognize that i am black and do not blame you"
gellaho
"I be at your funeral"
Science God Q Alchemy
This is why they wanted his knowledge, he is just he perfect cop
Dr Skin, the dandy
This is Ice, that's Slim, that Weebway, none of us have fucking names you recognise. This is the streets
Science God Q Alchemy
God just, fucking nailing it
gellaho
Dr Skin, the dandy
There's Paul, fucking Honky kept his house after his wife died.
gellaho
Mr. "I be at your funeral" is also a pimp
so that's fun
Science God Q Alchemy
"I have seen half of a blaxploitation film, I think I've got this" jd masters
Dr Skin, the dandy
No, I think he pimps out literal foxes.
gellaho
Whelp
gellaho
That's, uh, that's rough
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
hard r and everything, huh
Dr Skin, the dandy
Yeah. Nobody ever said Shee'it
Science God Q Alchemy
THERE :clap:WAS :clap:A PLAGUE:clap:
Dr Skin, the dandy
The confidence level attained there in dialogue and the fact it was buried mid paragraph. Author gave himself an A*
Science God Q Alchemy
Also fucking called it
You all doubted me but I called it
Never question me again
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
i never doubted you for a second paisan
:handshake:
Wirebiter (he/him)
shee-it
gellaho
And a "Damn!"
gellaho
getting all the hits in there
Wirebiter (he/him)
chuff chuff
Science God Q Alchemy
"ok jd, you get one n word but I'm cutting out the rest" the editor, weary
gellaho
I like how vague it is about the poison
I would also like some clarification on how the hands work
gellaho
The cover has the hand like clipped to his belt
Ferroday, ScapeApe
I feel like I'm reading dialogue for mudflaps and skidz that was too racist for the transformers movies
Brockway
I don't know that I'll ever have the time to fully catch up on this, but I pinned the start for anyone coming in late
gellaho
Sounds like ice wants to be a robot
gellaho
I won't be sharing any of this, but I just got through a rape scene
Dr Skin, the dandy
"ask him about his dick"
Oh god can I delete that
@gellaho
For the record that was not in response to you
gellaho
I know
Ferroday, ScapeApe
I feel like steel just wears a sign or something with "ask me about my dick" written on it
gellaho
Seems like Ice and Steele have murdered all the rapists. If you were wondering, the rapists were black and the girl was white
Then a zombie screamer showed up out of nowhere to attack their cab
Dr Skin, the dandy
They're in Harlem. Don't read anything into it.
They need to be given a masculine ideal murder victim
Better question, did they offer any assistance to the victim, or is she just their as total violence justification
gellaho
He decided to use this moment to show off his vocabulary
gellaho
They're taking her with them. Remains to be seen
Dr Skin, the dandy
Ice, rolling up his window.
gellaho
"scrofulous" is apparently a real word
Dr Skin, the dandy
My only exposure to scrofula is Terry Pratchett @Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
i've mostly heard it as a synonym for "mangy", like "this is a generally scruffy and ill-assembled individual and the comparison to the disease is metaphorical"
Dr Skin, the dandy
Rincewind, hanging off the edge of the world, death can't make it so scrofula has to sub in.
Pustulant is a good one.
gellaho
So, the rape victim is Raven, the "hardened young hooker" from the back of the book. That's one way to introduce a character
This guy does not have the skill to pull this off
Dr Skin, the dandy
Haha, barely 16 may be coming up.
Such a weird male fantasy. Saving innocents from rape. Teeters towards something.
gellaho
She's 22, I guess
Science God Q Alchemy
NAILING IT
gellaho
You know, I was really happy that the last book avoided the standard pulp '80s rape scene
Dr Skin, the dandy
I knew he was going to have her just move on to talking tough.
Science God Q Alchemy
They don't care about rape they care about justified violence
Dr Skin, the dandy
"Wash the taste out of my mouth"
These pillows are legitimately great and very soft
Science God Q Alchemy
God, just, the writing just sparkles
gellaho
I would appreciate it if this kind of prose stopped
Science God Q Alchemy
It's a treat to witness a master at his craft
Dr Skin, the dandy
Better take her under my wing
Science God Q Alchemy
Make her a robot, but gotta keep her normal human vagina and womb
Just, just gotta
gellaho
Check out how this paragraph changes from beginning to end
Dr Skin, the dandy
It's the idea that's she is jaded to what she has experienced, so she can be a straw man for his heroism as well as his depravity
gellaho
She had been beaten, oh but those legs are so sexy
Science God Q Alchemy
This feels like some kind of dark fantasy
Dr Skin, the dandy
The whole series. Yeah, it's not going to turn into literature
Science God Q Alchemy
Like a part of his psyche that should have stayed off the page
This is jd masters truly showing his ass
Dr Skin, the dandy
"Showing his ass" again I never had the ability to articulate this.
gellaho
I always wonder how much of this is people trying to copy something they've seen
Dr Skin, the dandy
Could be. Saw some seventies gangster flick.
Made too much of an impression.
Science God Q Alchemy
It's like a noir without the substance
Dr Skin, the dandy
That's the beauty of taxi driver. Deniro doesn't try to sleep with jodie
Science God Q Alchemy
If steele and raven hook up I'm hunting jd masters down
Dr Skin, the dandy
And the upset of the director's cut of Leon
Science God Q Alchemy
Like the terminator
He will know no peace
Dr Skin, the dandy
I would like to imagine he's grown past this.
Science God Q Alchemy
He will know no peace
gellaho
This book is moving so much faster than the last one, but not in a good way
I think at this point in the last book I was still hearing about his broken marriage
gellaho
I think at this point in the last book I was still hearing about his broken marriage
Dr Skin, the dandy
He is going to sleep with her.
gellaho
Like in the course of a couple of paragraphs, Raven goes from "I'm going to sleep with him" to "I'm going to leave with his weapons" to "I'm going to stab him"
Science God Q Alchemy
Man she is every 90s "tough girl" cliche huh
Dr Skin, the dandy
He called her Raven.
gellaho
The boots and fatigues has to be a fetish thing
there's no other reason for her to do that
Dr Skin, the dandy
My flashbacks to the teen titan series are worse that my flashbacks to the Steele series of books.
Dr Skin, the dandy
Fetish of a woman wearing your clothes, marks her as willingly being your possession.
Science God Q Alchemy
So like, the apocalypse thing really did not matter. He could have made this future just a result of ordinary societal decay like a lot of these kinds of stories.
Dr Skin, the dandy
Fun intro though.
Very small horizons
gellaho
Now, tonal whiplash. We move to Dev Cooper reminiscing about Texas
This is the post-apocalypse
What the fuck do you mean people in New York move faster?
Everyone is dead
gellaho
This is the post-apocalypse
What the fuck do you mean people in New York move faster?
Everyone is dead
Ye Olde Albany Blood Knife
Don’t you know all New Yorkers become The Flash in the event of an apocalypse?
Dr Skin, the dandy
Wear your fucking Stetson. That guy shoots robot darts out of his third hand. Nobody gives a fuck about your hat.
Ye Olde Albany Blood Knife
It’s part of our stereotype
Dr Skin, the dandy
Weirdly conformist apocalypse
98% of the population has been wiped out. Harlem is still full of Jive Turkeys and are those fucking sandals Johnson in a debrief?
gellaho
I gotta share this whole page, because this is some of the stupidest shit I have read so far
He just throws out "Oh, all the Navajo are dead"
And then spends the entire page talking about rural life in New Mexico
gellaho
He just throws out "Oh, all the Navajo are dead"
And then spends the entire page talking about rural life in New Mexico
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
wait, isn;t he supposed to be from El Paso??
also what hte fuckle
gellaho
New Mexico, a state that is mostly irradiated at this point. Except for the place where the atomic bomb was fucking invented
Ye Olde Albany Blood Knife
The preceding paragraph seems to be an excerpt from a southwestern retelling of The Birds as well
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
radiation ust makes us stronger
gellaho
A better author would use the fact that he was a researcher at Los Alamos for some sort of irony
Dr Skin, the dandy
The author knows some things and has some ideas
It's weird that we can do this.
gellaho
This guy doesn't even seem to make the connection between the atomic bomb and the Manhattan project
Dr Skin, the dandy
Wait. I forget, why is everything irradiated?
Did we bomb the virus?
gellaho
Russia nuked all the places in the US where there were missile silos because they thought the US had invented the virus
And the US did the opposite
Don't worry, it doesn't make any sense
Dr Skin, the dandy
Seems reasonable
Nuclear weapons and biological weapons are a bit of a Chekovs gun.
They will say, "didn't they see it coming"
gellaho
I guess Texas Psychiatrist is Native American
gellaho
Even though his name is Devon Cooper
I'm also not 100% on that
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
it's probably in some "1/8 Cherokee" BS kinda way
Dr Skin, the dandy
"He felt somehow, a very specific set of circumstances drove his imagined ancestors out of the San Juan Basin"
I wish my intuition was that narrow.
gellaho
These scientists are quite advanced for the apocalypse
gellaho
Reminder: most of the southwest has regressed to the 1800's
except for New Mexico apparently
Now they've made a computer program out of Steele, that will respond in Steele's voice
Greg Danang Danar Dono
And it's no big deal
Dr Skin, the dandy
That bit in the 80's I will forgive them. The fact he's doing it with like 32mb of memory for a human personality though
gellaho
You guys remember when we could transport ideas directly into the brain during the 90s?
Dr Skin, the dandy
Boot it up, watch out though, ethically everytime it goes on standby you murder Steele. Probably best not to discuss it with him
That's actually quite prescient
gellaho
This dipshit was writing this in late 1989
He expected technology to get this far in the next couple of years?
Dr Skin, the dandy
It would have all seemed very close then. The Turing test etc.
The AI problem didn't seem so intractable when I was a child. We thought it was right around the corner.
gellaho
By the way, one of the scientists is named "Phil Gates"
He doesn't seem to be trying very hard
"I want to create a character based on Bill Gates, but I need to make it distinct for the mid 21st century"
In the past couple of pages, I've there have been terrible references to Frankenstein ("It's alive...It's alive...") and The Great Gatsby
Well, there's the second N-bomb
I can't even explain this
gellaho
I can't even explain this
Old Man Brendan
Racist mob boss vs. cyborg who has to think about whether he accepts the child sex trafficking victim's advances or not is like watching COVID fight Robo-COVID.
I mean, I assume he's a mob boss because he's an Italian in an '80s novel.
gellaho
He is
Old Man Brendan
They're reprogramming their Bloodshot, and the only new identity they can give him is The Punisher?
gellaho
He was kind of like that before he died
These pages are fucking baffling. Steele has a bad dream where he is married to some woman who is not his ex-wife. Then the rape victim, Raven, comforts him while naked and then makes him breakfast in the morning
I feel like there are pages missing
Old Man Brendan
Still makes more sense than our world that's ACTUALLY SPINNING FASTER: https://www.extremetech.com/extreme/318952-earth-is-spinning-faster-after-decades-of-slowing-down
ExtremeTech
Ryan Whitwam
Earth Is Spinning Faster After Decades of Slowing Down - ExtremeTech
Earth isn't a clock, and the actual length of a day can vary slightly. Scientists now say that the days have started trending shorter because the Earth is spinning faster, which could require potentially confusing adjustments.
I've written enough garbage fiction to know when a writer is like "Yeaahhhh, this is the deep stuff the critics will love, gotta throw 'em a bone before I give the real readership the sexy stuff."
gellaho
Yeah, Might pick me up a thing or two while I be at it.
That's just some brilliant writing for a black character there
Old Man Brendan
permit me to sigh in advance.
Science God Q Alchemy
NAILING IT
gellaho
Oh, shit. The prostitute with a heart of gold has ties to Borodini's failure of a son
Greg Danang Danar Dono
That's just good writing
Science God Q Alchemy
chefs kiss
gellaho
Goddammit
Greg Danang Danar Dono
I was confused about what Tommy B stood for
No! Don't say that wryly!
Spit in disgust and say that
Science God Q Alchemy
Tommy B commiting statutory
Old Man Brendan
Are there any details about Ice it wouldn't depress us to learn?
gellaho
I refuse to share most of this stuff with Raven. It's too rough
Science God Q Alchemy
Actually is it still illegal in this he'll future that somehow has all the law and order and structure if society but sometimes zombies?
It's basically future 70s he did not need 8 different world ending scenarios to set this up
gellaho
I want more of this kind of stupid shit with Steele's robot parts
Science God Q Alchemy
"In writing this gritty post apocalyptic series it is important that the cyborg heroes powers be as silly as possible, make sure it really conflicts with the intended tone" jd masters, genius
Also super glad we confirm her story in a split second, God forbid we potentially have any suspense or force these characters to have to trust each other.
Old Man Brendan
That's...a pretty fair assessment of how cyborg brains would function.
Science God Q Alchemy
Also newspapers and chic nightclubs after the zombie nuke apocalypse
Old Man Brendan
This dude has wikipedia in his Google glass brain.
Cyberpunk logic
gellaho
Christopher Nolan stole from Steele
"SWEAR TO ME"
Science God Q Alchemy
No second drafts or editors, only jd masters and his ass
Which is on full display
gellaho
Ice and Raven went on a shopping spree in the post apocalypse
This has two of my favorite sentences so far "Raven looked very different with clothes on" and "The outfit brought out her trashy sexuality"
Science God Q Alchemy
ASS ON DISPLAY
gellaho
This is the worst
Jesus H. Christ
Ferroday, ScapeApe
I need a shower
Dr Skin, the dandy
Lowering the bar, to make Steele look good by comparison
gellaho
You ain't reading this
Science God Q Alchemy
Just showing off his whole ass
I think in theory this is meant to show he's a bad guy, but his lust for underage ass is framed pretty neutrally.
Which is odd
gellaho
I wanted more Ice, less pedophilia
Old Man Brendan
We're all laughing but what if we bought a pulp dime novel about a cyborg Rambo and found the pinnacle of human literature? Imagine someone giving this their all.
Science God Q Alchemy
Imagine like, faulkner writing this
Imagine vonnegut or david foster wallace
gellaho
This could be done well, but this guy alternates between philosophical arguments about "What is a man?," weird horniness, bad action, and just summaries of the last book without any sort of rhyme or reason
Old Man Brendan
What is a man? Weird horniness, bad action.
Science God Q Alchemy
He barely touched the arguments imo
Just has steele be sad for a second and then someone's like "it's cool, your good"
gellaho
Like, here he's talking about this dream Steele has about another family he doesn't know
He's done it three times and hasn't built on it at all
There's also a weird Oedipal bit where his mom randomly shows up
Science God Q Alchemy
That could be a cool idea, like it's a programmers memories they used when building the brain or maybe his memories have been falsified in some way
Old Man Brendan
better than this Electra shit happening with a child.
gellaho
I'm assuming that's where it's going, but he hasn't done any legwork
Old Man Brendan
This came out after Robocop?
gellaho
yes
Science God Q Alchemy
Off course not, too many graphic descriptions of rape and pedophillia
Old Man Brendan
"Robocop Rambo Escapes From New York" must have seemed like a sure win.
Science God Q Alchemy
Really got to explore the space in those ones
gellaho
It would make sense for Steele to have issues with his mother, after all she turned into a zombie and infected the rest of his family
But he doesn't connect those dots
He should have family issues, period. His dad shot his brothers and then himself after they were infected
Science God Q Alchemy
Yeah it is a bunch of thoughtless cliches and references to better media crammed into an extremely unlikable book
The ready player one of its time
Old Man Brendan
He totally recalls not being Rambocop
Making fun of first-draft shit like this used to be my most fun to write/least fun to read Cracked pastime.
Science God Q Alchemy
The cover artist should write, he seems like he'd take it fun places
Old Man Brendan
"Deke slid back the action on his Mossberg P-71 cyber-rifle. Damn the Nazi-Hippies were up to something. He could smell it with his feeling guts, no matter what that idiot Captain said."
gellaho
Nevermind, he just fucking said it in the bluntest way possible
Old Man Brendan
Boxing Day Steele -- the cover sucks, the story rocks. DECEMBER, 1988, DRUGSTORES NEAR YOU
gellaho
I still can't believe there's a character named "Phil Gates"
How much italics is too much italics
gellaho
I take it all back, this man is the greatest author of all time
Old Man Brendan
Reminds me of Plato's treatise on whether Hesphaestus and Hades could create a zombot so lifelike it wasn't a moral crime to fuck it.
Science God Q Alchemy
"I'll resolve this twist quickly in the most ham handed way possible, so I have more time to devote to all the statutory references" jd masters, genius
gellaho
"high-tech necrophilia" imagine writing that
I'm impressed
Science God Q Alchemy
Jd masters, genius, just knocking it out if the park on this one
gellaho
gellaho
I
That's a real person
Wtf
Ron Jaworksi
He was a fucking quarterback. I don't know why, but that did it
So Raven figured out that Steele is a robot by sucking on his finger
Old Man Brendan
Did Ron play for the Steelers, Green Bay, or Chicago?
I knew this creepy scene would happen.
gellaho
I believe he's primarily known for Philadelphia
Science God Q Alchemy
You have to tell them your a robot or it's entrapment
Old Man Brendan
What if you're a Robocop? You're only required to disclose one.
Science God Q Alchemy
Also best way to let her know, point a gun at her
gellaho
You know, I enjoy having a penis as much as the next guy. But I wouldn't write about it this much
Greg Danang Danar Dono
I don't know, but I don't think we are there yet
gellaho
I miss Ice
Science God Q Alchemy
God raven is being like, the most insensitive right now
gellaho
Okay, so there's no real context for this next bit. In the middle of a chapter, we switch perspective to a foot-soldier guarding farms in upstate New York
Then things get a little pornographic
Science God Q Alchemy
Oh good
gellaho
gellaho
gellaho
It briefly turns into an '80s slasher, but without any of the fun
Also, another underaged girl
Science God Q Alchemy
Reading this book I'm reminded of the seanbaby line "I've never seen someone be so bad at something and not die from it"
gellaho
Raven decided to fuck and fall in love with him because of this
I think my brain is melting
Science God Q Alchemy
This writer wants to write porn so badly
Also was the statutory dipshit soldier guy, was that Steele's dream? Was he that guy? And they just put Steele's memories in him?
Is it his dick steele has?
gellaho
Unknowable
I'm guessing this is a list of JDs influences. How many of these guys turned out to be assholes?
Science God Q Alchemy
I may be writing a more interesting story than jd masters, only time will tell
I like gibson, was he an asshole?
gellaho
No idea
Science God Q Alchemy
Also I've only heard if three of these guys
gellaho
Borodini also has three other sons besides the pedophile Tommy, but I'm ignoring them because there are less than 50 pages left and I'm guessing they won't be important
Science God Q Alchemy
Probably not, but masters is a bad writer so maybe they'll come in haphazardly at the last minute
His real name was stupid,vwhat was it?
gellaho
Simon Hawke
Science God Q Alchemy
He legally changed it to simon hawke
gellaho
You know what, I'll introduce Paulie because this description is really weird
Science God Q Alchemy
He was born Nicholas Valentin Yermakov, which owns
How much hentai is he looking at in those monitors?
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
:rotating_light: TWINK ALERT :rotating_light:
:rotating_light: TWINK LOCATED :rotating_light:
Science God Q Alchemy
Is japan still around? Hentai? Probably the majority of the population dying didn't seem to have any drastic consequences
gellaho
So, these sons seem to be developing a plan around kidnapping Congressmen
can't say I like that
Science God Q Alchemy
Aged like fine wine
Jd masters, genius
gellaho
With the virus and threats against congress, it's a real escape
Science God Q Alchemy
This was escapism at one point, let that sink in
gellaho
At that point, I think the threat of nuclear annihilation was supposed to be the realistic part
Science God Q Alchemy
Maybe he was like philip k dick, and seeing the future but also crazy
gellaho
Everyone in this book is an asshole
Science God Q Alchemy
Deckard bangs a sixteen year old in do androids dream of electric sheep
Steele is the hero almost by default huh?
gellaho
Ravenna Scarpetti
Everyone's Italian
Science God Q Alchemy
Everyone died, but at least the nightlife is still going
gellaho
Remember earlier today we were talking about the implications of gorillas and race?
Science God Q Alchemy
The black gangster guy reads, and appreciates classics
That was character development in the mind if jd masters, genius
gellaho
Ice was actually one of the better characters in this book, so far he was only in the first 60 pages
I suspect JD doesn't know or care, but how many congressmen are there?
Are they still doing the census?
Science God Q Alchemy
Can ice be the protagonist?
Science God Q Alchemy
It must be super easy
gellaho
I guess dollars are still valuable. The treasury has been destroyed, but whatever
Both of the mints, because they said Denver was leveled too
Science God Q Alchemy
Do you think JD masters, genius, went back and did any kind of editing after writing this?
i bet he wrote all 6 books in one monumental session, and it had to be split it into 6 books
like those million word fanfics
gellaho
I'm surprised this sentence didn't end after the word "fascination"
Science God Q Alchemy
also, i wanted to say one more thing about ice liking classics, whenever they make a character intellectual it's always the shit everyone's heard of, like dickens and shakespeare. want to wow me, do what psychopass the movie did, they had the badass mercenary guy be into post colonial philosophy
not joking that movie is how i heard of frantz fanon because im terrible
gellaho
Apparently Steele can't breathe underwater even though he's a robot
also, he needs to breathe
Science God Q Alchemy
so if were keeping track, stomach, digestive system, lungs and human penis
and face
gellaho
some parts of his skin seem to be human, like a T-800
Science God Q Alchemy
which is weird because his melon got so rattled they threw out his whole brain
gellaho
yeah, it's nonsensical
Steele is: Aquaman
gellaho
Steele: dog-poisoner
Science God Q Alchemy
Glad we introduced the mines, only to immediately mention how they weren't a problem.
love when writers do that
Ferroday, ScapeApe
how very cline-ian: he undercuts his own lame tension
gellaho
Btw, Steele is invading Borodini's compound
It's pretty boring
Science God Q Alchemy
great thing for the climax of an action novel to be
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Who kills dogs? It was already a dart launcher make them tranq darta
gellaho
I guess this is supposed to be what's on the cover?
Science God Q Alchemy
everyone is this novel is deeply unlikeable
god is there anything that tube cant do?
gellaho
Steele: dog-killer
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Quite a brag having a voltmeter in there
Definitely not a $11 buy at Lowes
Like he could have a micro Gas Spectrometer or something dope to detect traces of drugs or explosives in the air
gellaho
For the actual assault, he's just using the Colt .45 his dad used to kill his family and then himself
Science God Q Alchemy
Why would he still have that? and why would he use it in this instance?
you'd think the author would have him use that gun, that has such meaning to him, in a much more impactful final conflict
gellaho
You would think that, wouldn't you
Greg Danang Danar Dono
All I can picture is his dumb hand hanging in his holster all bumping around as he does this shit
Science God Q Alchemy
that mental image made me actually laugh
gellaho
So, there is this guy named Sharp who is taking the money to the pedophile Borodini in exchange for the congressmen while Steele is assaulting the Borodini compound
I'll mention it, but I don't know if it will matter
Science God Q Alchemy
only time will tell
gellaho
Ice and Raven were also supposed to take part in this assault on the compound, but there are only 10 pages left and they haven't done shit
Science God Q Alchemy
see, the fact that these climaxes break off so weirdly is evidence of my one large book theory
gellaho
Well, let's get some more weird race stuff in at the end
Greg Danang Danar Dono
They the "unequipped" hand so front and center on the cover and it's so dumb! Make it fold back like Mega Man or something
Science God Q Alchemy
glad we had time for that
gellaho
This guy is very focused on the peen
Science God Q Alchemy
i feel like we could sketch a psychological profile of this guy from these books
gellaho
Uh
Science God Q Alchemy
wait
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Huh
Science God Q Alchemy
what
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Ok
gellaho
Uh
Greg Danang Danar Dono
I was hoping it would be ninjas
gellaho
You didn't expect father/son incest?
Science God Q Alchemy
Im glad we got to end the book on a high note
Greg Danang Danar Dono
I've been in and out all night... was this a carefully crafted, well earned, twist?
Science God Q Alchemy
take a guess
gellaho
The author mentioned that he looked like a girl earlier
Does that count as foreshadowing?
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Master of words Simon Hawke everbody
Science God Q Alchemy
and that his father had a double standard about him having long hair when he hated on everyone else, but like, incest was not what i assumed
jd masters, genius
gellaho
That was shocking
I
have no words
Science God Q Alchemy
I want these readings to continue but im also honestly afraid of what we'll uncover in the sequels
how much of simon hawkes ass are we willing to see?
gellaho
Ice has disappointed me
Science God Q Alchemy
hurray for the good guys?
Greg Danang Danar Dono
This
Science God Q Alchemy
if you're gonna shoot anyone in the dick, maybe shoot victor?
that might do the most good
gellaho
I didn't mention Rick, the middle son. He seems to be the reasonable one. He killed Tommy (the pedophile)
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Rick sounds pretty chill
Science God Q Alchemy
I like how he made most of the bad guys perverts, some top notch writing
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Just to clarify, this world has wandering zombies called screamers? Is that just something the rarely comes up?
gellaho
Indeed
The Bloodsucker Proxy
all bad guys are rapists ding
Science God Q Alchemy
i think it's come up twice
gellaho
It looks like Raven (22) and Steele (43, robot) are going to be alright
Science God Q Alchemy
I wonder why he had that prologue where like, everybody died if he's not prepared to really explore the consequences of that
gellaho
I'm guessing Raven dies in Killer Steele
Science God Q Alchemy
at least she's over 18
Science God Q Alchemy
that's probably a safe bet
gellaho
Screamers seem to only exist so Steele can have a tragic backstory
I have Killer Steele coming in the mail. Which is terrifying
The Bloodsucker Proxy
Killer Steele is coming for you
Science God Q Alchemy
like it's basically just a slightly shittier america, but if 70% of the population died the world would be all kinds of fucked
we'd be trading cans of baked beans for sex
The Bloodsucker Proxy
way ahead of you on that
gellaho
In other news, I might have a palate cleanser
Science God Q Alchemy
oh fuck yeah
Greg Danang Danar Dono
I respect that the biannual hotdog shipments weren't enough cursed artifacts for you
Science God Q Alchemy
gonna hear the writer of the hardy boys take on rap music
love how the rapper is white
The Bloodsucker Proxy
now I want a book where Nancy Drew becomes a metal singer
gellaho
I haven't gotten my first one yet, so who knows
The Bloodsucker Proxy
Nancy Drew's new single "I Fired and I Missed"
gellaho
I'm just looking to the Hardy Boys Meet Fred Durst
Science God Q Alchemy
those rich white guys, always getting railroaded for crimes they didn't commit
The Bloodsucker Proxy
the Hardy Boys start beef with Eminem
gellaho
You know what, this book is from 1993
Fred Durst might have gotten his look from this book
Science God Q Alchemy
I hope he did
if i ever meet him i'll ask him that. but if i only get one question, it'd just be "Why? why any of this?"
gellaho
If I met Fred Durst, I would only ask him questions about The Fanatic
Science God Q Alchemy
huh, i hadnt heard of the fanatic
gellaho
This is painfully uncool
The Bloodsucker Proxy
Randy Rand?
I literally cannot think of a real life rapper with a worse name
or even a fictional one
Science God Q Alchemy
It's def supposed to be like, pg eminem
Greg Danang Danar Dono
What are the odds this book contains the line "My name is Randy Rand and I'm here to say"
Science God Q Alchemy
if it doesn't im suing
The Bloodsucker Proxy
it's gonna end with him doing a tribute to the Hardy Boys on stage
gellaho
I hope so
The Bloodsucker Proxy
like when Vanilla Ice rapped about the Ninja Turtles
gellaho
If there are rap lyrics, I want to record my version of them. With my level of skill, I can replicate the intended whiteness
Science God Q Alchemy
do it
The Bloodsucker Proxy
hell yea
Greg Danang Danar Dono
My name is Randy Rand and I'm here to say
My friends the Hardy Boys sure saved the day
They got street smarts and are fast on their feet
When they fight the bad guys they kick with their feet
:musical_note:
The Bloodsucker Proxy
I'm going to record myself singing that in my Fred Durst-iest voice
Science God Q Alchemy
we need to write a rap about steele
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Are you thinking Will Smith exposition rap?
Wild Wild West style?
Science God Q Alchemy
fuck yes
The Bloodsucker Proxy
Cyborg Steele is bringin' the heat
Out on a mission
This ain't no Sesame Street
Science God Q Alchemy
his human dick is mentioned in the chorus
Greg Danang Danar Dono
I'm a cyborg hero but I don't wear a cape
This story has a weird amount of statutory rape
The Bloodsucker Proxy
All you terrorists are shit outta luck
But don't worry, ladies, Steele can still fuck
Science God Q Alchemy
most of the world died, my mom zombified
it doesn't matter that much
The Bloodsucker Proxy
my dad killed himself, I fell down and cried
Science God Q Alchemy
we got into the base, the war finally won
also this dude was fucking his son
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Now the battle is over, after so very long
Have I mentioned that I have a functioning dong?
Science God Q Alchemy
something about neither his dick nor his hands shoot blanks?
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Add a chorus with Ice singing background vocals and we have a banger
The Bloodsucker Proxy
we gotta mention how he's physically incapable of crying now
Science God Q Alchemy
"He's got a functioning dick, and he really wanted me to emphasize this poooooooint"
Science God Q Alchemy
I fucking forgot about that
ha ha
J D masters whole ass
The Bloodsucker Proxy
I'm like baby shampoo, cuz I got no more tears :musical_note:
gellaho
You know, there are 6 more of these books. Now that they've captured the son-fucker Borodini I'm not sure where this goes
Greg Danang Danar Dono
For the music video end with him waking up in bed "It was all a crazy dream!"
And then the camera pans to show a bunch of dead dogs and Steele smirks "or was it?"
Can Steele smirk? Shit
The Bloodsucker Proxy
he just gives the camera a vaguely threatening stare
gellaho
Steele can only laser-smirk
Science God Q Alchemy
we should just turn the events of all six books into one long will smith esque rap song
gellaho
I still can't believe this fucker had the gall to go from gang-violence and post-apocalyptia to pedophilia, gang-rape, and incest
Science God Q Alchemy
who in this discord is musically talented?
Science God Q Alchemy
subject matter he was not even close to capable of handling
im pretty sure simon hawke took some kind of drugs, wrote the whole thing out in a frenzy then when he came too he realized two things, as a writer he can't throw away any idea that might make him even a little bit of money and 2 he should not put his name on any of this
gellaho
I think these first 6 books were one long book he wrote and they split up
Science God Q Alchemy
yeah, i put forth that theory earlier
but now im adding the dimension of him being high and also ashamed
gellaho
I think I realized that about 3/4 of the way through the first book where he was just finished up the backstory
Science God Q Alchemy
do you think he's proud of this series actually?
gellaho
I think he probably wants people to know about his Star Trek books and those wizard books
All the Steele books were released within a year
Science God Q Alchemy
I feel like i can't write a full length novel and this motherfucker is out here wringing 6 book length works out of a single story idea
gellaho
BTW I bought all the Steele books, including the ones by SL Hunter
Science God Q Alchemy
i bet the entire saga of steele could be turned into one single book
gellaho
I also bought the first of Meera Lester's bee murder books. I bought it used, because I ain't giving her any money
Ye Olde Albany Blood Knife
This is almost John Ringo shit
Science God Q Alchemy
does John Ringo have weird sex stuff in his books too?
Ye Olde Albany Blood Knife
Hoo boy
He has an entire series of what he once described as “50 Shades of Guns”
It is some dark soul bearing shit
Like his pure id is on display and it is bad
Science God Q Alchemy
that sounds kind of interesting to read
like not good
just interesting
gellaho
I think I just did that
Ye Olde Albany Blood Knife
It’s a good look inside a right wing wannabe sex offenders brain
gellaho
I also cut out all the gun porn shit, because I think it's pretty boring to read
Ye Olde Albany Blood Knife
Read at your own risk, they suck
Oh Steele and Ringo are brothers in shitty arms
Science God Q Alchemy
what is the book?
Cock Knife Cerril
https://hradzka.livejournal.com/194753.html
books to make my flist's heads explode: John Ringo
Lately, some folks on my f-list have been looking at Lord King Bad profic. brown_betty gave us LEOPARD LORD , and cereta reviewed THE SHEIK , and burger_eater pointed me to Smart Bitches, Trashy Books's take on Shayla Black's DECADENT . These books, it should be admitted, are deeply awful, and as…
Might as well link the original source.
It's (the review, not the book) worth a read, and then another one out loud since once you've read it you have to share it like a cursed VHS tape.
gellaho
That was fun. I'll do the Hardy Boys next week if I can find time to record whatever "rap" is contained within
Greg Danang Danar Dono
Yeah, thanks for this
Good times
Science God Q Alchemy
thanks for putting yourself through this for our amusement @gellaho
gellaho
I live to serve
Ye Olde Albany Blood Knife
And we thank you for it
Old Man Brendan
Disappointed that nobody has yet changed their username to Cool Man Randy Rand
Brockway
I like the idea of Discord live book clubs
It's like a normal book club, but there's only one copy and instead of discussing it, we make fun of it
sensitive New Age jakesy
You can count on it that Victor Borodini is either going to escape or get let off the hook by a corrupt justice system or something
Greg Danang Danar Dono
And then Steele kills him but he comes back as a cyborg
That would be a pretty standard action plot and I'm confident Hawke wrote something that makes way less sense from a plotting standpoint
gellaho
It's going to take some time for me to get passed the out of nowhere incest ending twist
Science God Q Alchemy
I don't know if I'll ever be fully over it
Kind of afraid of what we'll find in the rest of the books
sensitive New Age jakesy
This is a great call, that’s absolutely what’s going to happen
He’s just going to become Steele with an evil mustache
Science God Q Alchemy
Is raven going to die or become a cyborg is my question?
I think he might do the bond girl thing with these books
Cock Knife Cerril
It's worked amazingly well for like six episodes of Behind the Bastards now.
Science God Q Alchemy
Kind of makes me want to find a shitty and very readable book
Ye Olde Albany Blood Knife
Watching the Saga of Steele unfold does make me want to go watch Cyborg
Dunno what that says about me
Brockway
Right but I meant on a bigger scale. Like opening a chatroom and just saying I'm reading this now and you're all going to watch me and make jokes about it. It's fun. I haven't seen it done before.
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
i've seen a few liveblogging channels but this particular variant, being like a garage mst3k, was very fun
Science God Q Alchemy
I love being a part of it
Brockway
Yeah I am positive I'm out of touch with stuff like this, maybe this is what all the kids are doing these days. Just livereading books to each other in huge crowds like a Reading Rainbow utopia
Just wanted to chime in and say I think it's cool. If you want to do stuff like this on the regular just ping me and I'll pin messages or what have you
gellaho
I'll keep that in mind
Dr. W. Sanguine, PhD PhD
liveblogging is usually like, someone will join a fandom server and they'll be like one chapter in and we'll watch them give live updates on their thoughts as they keepr eading
gellaho
If this is a thing people are doing, then I stumbled into it accidentally. I just couldn't stop sharing that first Steele book
