Old Man Brendan
My theory is Masters came to America as an exchange student and spent four years he could have been getting laid on the best grass available just bitching about all these ungrateful Kent State coeds.
11: Molten Steele J.D. Masters (Simon Hawke)
#8 Steele
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Terminatrix
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Jcantrell, hater of things
I love how he's like "politics are stupid bullshit" in one of the most politically charged books I've ever read
Dr. Mithras
Like we started low and sank
gellaho
I got nothing
Dr. Mithras
Weird
sensitive New Age jakesy
Lol now he’s just a Fox News commentator
Dr. Mithras
He has like, strawman socialists but what's communism, haha it failed so hard.
sensitive New Age jakesy
“Communism hasn’t existed in 150 years but I hate it!”
gellaho
Well, it got worse
Old Man Brendan
Hawke was problematic, but at least this was his vision. This is like watching Sid break all the toys.
gellaho
sensitive New Age jakesy
Oh no
Jcantrell, hater of things
If I was an owner of the property and milan handed me this, id fire him and eat the manuscript
In front of him
Dr. Mithras
It was straight. I really am glad he highlighted that.
Old Man Brendan
They have an AIR FORCE and nobody in the great 48 knows they're alive.
Dr. Mithras
No wait, was her pubic hair glossy?
Jcantrell, hater of things
All the best novels spend time describing sixteen year olds bush
gellaho
Let's skip past the attempted rape
DeusExNonSequitur
Remember when the character had strong feelings about 1965 dimes, but now someone doesn't know about communism?
Old Man Brendan
Better describe what Asian pubes look like before mentioning the gaping femoral wound.
Dr. Mithras
A cigarette tip to the tip of a penis is something I've never read before.
sensitive New Age jakesy
Hahaha Cock Burn!
gellaho
It's "ass-wipe," dipshit
Old Man Brendan
Honestly, I appreciate the novelty.
Jcantrell, hater of things
First describe how fuckable she is and how her pubes are doing then if you time, describe any plot relevant details.
Old Man Brendan
What you mean? This is good word in Americas, the ass-white, it is incredible my main man.
sensitive New Age jakesy
Also she’s 16
Jcantrell, hater of things
Literature 101 really
Dr. Mithras
Said the man to his dominatrix, tipping her.
sensitive New Age jakesy
Make sure we know she’s underage
Old Man Brendan
I like to imagine maybe, MAYBE this is what Orvus sees as his gaze travels from her face down.
gellaho
They're gonna show it on the news!
Old Man Brendan
Listen, it's a harsh world. If you can't make informed decisions by 13 maybe do Masters the courtesy of dying instead of obstructing his world.
Dr. Mithras
What's the authors full name?
Old Man Brendan
The people deserve to know whose cocks are being burnt.
Jcantrell, hater of things
Victor milan
Old Man Brendan
aka
sensitive New Age jakesy
EL Hunter
gellaho
sensitive New Age jakesy
Hahahaha
Ok I take it all back Victor is good now
Old Man Brendan
...Galil?
Djonin Foxman
Huh.
gellaho
If only there had been events in Wyoming in previous books that Hunter could draw from
This fucker is messing with Jagged Steele, and I will not tolerate it
sensitive New Age jakesy
Sgt Tracy did not eat all that pussy just to be forgotten to the annals of time
Djonin Foxman
I don’t think Galils had a bull pup variant
gellaho
What
sensitive New Age jakesy
Hahaha
Dr. Mithras
What the bananas hell
Old Man Brendan
They gave him a 21-cunny salute.
sensitive New Age jakesy
Hahaha and a water slide in his honor
Old Man Brendan
Buried in the Womb of the Unknown Soldier
Jcantrell, hater of things
I do not think milan knows what cunnilingus is
Djonin Foxman
Galil didn’t have a bull pup but there’s another Israeli bull pup from that era
Old Man Brendan
With a Sexual Congressional Medal of Honor.
Jcantrell, hater of things
I think he read that line and was like "what even is happening"
Djonin Foxman
Look at this asshole getting Galil guns mixed up with Tavor
sensitive New Age jakesy
Please Victor, let me know if the Olive Garden is still open
Jcantrell, hater of things
You being a gun nerd us the weirdest thing I've learned about you
Old Man Brendan
If it is, you know Victor's going to hail it as the last surviving remnant of real italian culture
A place that made alfredo bland.
Djonin Foxman
I’m an army brat
Old Man Brendan
That gun actually looks like a Scottish terrier.
Djonin Foxman
So, i know the bullpup trend was at peak popular in the 90s, but I need to know if Hawke wrote about the other gun trend.
Has Steele ever featured “caseless” ammo?
sensitive New Age jakesy
“Miseri walked up to the counter. ‘Wha...what will you be having maam?’ She sliced open his guts and grabbed his cock. ‘Soup, salad, and dead-sticks’”
Djonin Foxman
That was HUGE in late 80s sci fi
Before we realized caseless ammo kind of sucks.
Jcantrell, hater of things
I like bullpup aesthetically but I don't know enough about guns to know if it's any better
Djonin Foxman
Like, Shadowrun explicitly has all guns caseless unless noted otherwise.
gellaho
I've never read so many words that mean so little
Djonin Foxman
Eh, it’s lighter and maneuvers in tight spaces better, but it’s a bit harder to reload.
It’s fine.
Looks cool as fuck
I’m not a gun snob, you won’t offend me with gun opinions other than the belief the Pancor Jackhammer exists.
Djonin Foxman
You say this after how many Steele books?
Jcantrell, hater of things
The only gun I've wanted to buy was a historical reconstructed colt dragoon pistol, black powder muzzle loaded whole shebang
gellaho
Matrix is a computer program Steele, why do you give a shit
sensitive New Age jakesy
Yeah these ones are particularly trash though
Old Man Brendan
Matrix comin'!
gellaho
The other ones were at least mildly interesting
I just skipped over a military ambush that had no fucking point
Old Man Brendan
Jesus, Masters, just say it: Jilly's never going to fuck Epstein.
Jcantrell, hater of things
We got to learn about Steele's dick
sensitive New Age jakesy
The Milan Steeles have devolved into thinly veiled political straw man rants
Jcantrell, hater of things
It hasn't been mentioned so I'm assuming he's just got a smooth mound now
Like the flesh recoating just covered him
gellaho
Hunter, sir. I wish this was masters
Old Man Brendan
ACTUALLY, what you FAIL to rEalIiZE about Steele's world is that the liberties we have traded away....
I can't ever keep it straight. Two Russiany names with three tough-guy pen names between them.
gellaho
Steele's computer hole is non-allergenic
Djonin Foxman
You know, I just noticed Steele always fights with his cyber parts and doesn’t really have a trademark gun for me to mock and criticize
Old Man Brendan
Russiany = Victor but not Milan
gellaho
Lazer canon and darts
Jcantrell, hater of things
His trademark gun should be a desert eagle
sensitive New Age jakesy
It’s a 1911
But it’s only mentioned in the first book I think
Old Man Brendan
Steele IS a gun
Djonin Foxman
Oh my god it would be
sensitive New Age jakesy
Or maybe the second. When he and Ice gear up, it comes up
Jcantrell, hater of things
It would have to be some kind of .45 right?
sensitive New Age jakesy
It’s the gun his dad killed his family with
Old Man Brendan
"Dr. Singh had made Steele's new body 21, so there was nothing wrong with him having sex with Jilly, who had turned 18 the day before she found him."
Jcantrell, hater of things
Like it's the official caliber of small penis havers
Djonin Foxman
I love the 1911 like any other American but do you know what it doesn’t have? A fucking second stack of bullets.
gellaho
The two groups are literally just shelling each other, this is so tedious
Djonin Foxman
It’s over 100 years old and holds like ten bullets because it was invented before magazines worked right.
Old Man Brendan
How much ordinance is in Wyoming that they could take Albuquerque at any moment after all this?
sensitive New Age jakesy
gellaho
He's really on how her breast size
Jcantrell, hater of things
I mean I like revolvers so I'm not about to throw stones on magazine size
gellaho
They have fucking nukes in Wyoming
Old Man Brendan
You can destroy a place with nukes, but you sure can't take it.
Djonin Foxman
He has a literal cowboy era gun
sensitive New Age jakesy
You got the 10 shot clip right and at least Masters knew that
gellaho
And a missile backpack
sensitive New Age jakesy
Ice gets the .44 magnum and Steele has his fathers 1911-A1
gellaho
He said it again!
sensitive New Age jakesy
Hahahah
Old Man Brendan
Maybe he collects hands from his fallen foes.
sensitive New Age jakesy
Oh god were only on page 58
gellaho
this is the first I've heard of the "bandit Alliance"
sensitive New Age jakesy
If you can dodge a wrench
Old Man Brendan
Soft, weak, womanish General of the apocalypse.
gellaho
Oh, God. Fucking fuck you
sensitive New Age jakesy
God dammit
Old Man Brendan
How did she get so good at killing?
sensitive New Age jakesy
I assume this is Miseri
gellaho
indeedy
Old Man Brendan
He made her to prove peak human can beat any machine, then used machines to age her to her peak.
sensitive New Age jakesy
Children tend to be rapey, Hunter postulates
Old Man Brendan
"You guys don't understand, SHE seduced ME." --Matt Gaetz
Jcantrell, hater of things
If there's a single problem in this world that can't be solved by cowboyin' Id like to hear it
Justice league taught me that's the best way to go from the us to iceland?
Norway?
Where the fuck was aquaman?
Jcantrell, hater of things
Aw, the best sci fi trope "it's not technically pedophilia"
Kind of thought that was an anime move
sensitive New Age jakesy
“She’s actually a dragon, she’s 3000 years old”
Jcantrell, hater of things
But here's milan boldly pioneering
gellaho
This has turned into a very boring war book
sensitive New Age jakesy
Milan: somehow hornier than Masters
Jcantrell, hater of things
Military sci fi written by a libertarian pervert, the best type of book
gellaho
Appendix: well known as the thinking organ
Old Man Brendan
the gut's gotta think SOMEWHERE>
sensitive New Age jakesy
Steele-seeking appendix
gellaho
Jesus, dude
I gotta make sure I have my ass-gun
Djonin Foxman
Oh man I feel so much better about my shitty war writing for my bootleg Steele chapter
gellaho
I preferred the other lip moistening
Djonin Foxman
Oh shit
Caseless and 10 mm
Old Man Brendan
She's a pair of tits that exist as life support for weapons.
sensitive New Age jakesy
With the mind of a child
Old Man Brendan
If they can clone Steele forever, and his core is almost indestructible...
Djonin Foxman
So there was actually debate around the 80s on if the standard should be 9 or 10 mm
Old Man Brendan
the smartest thing for Steele to do is learn cloning.
sensitive New Age jakesy
He could theoretically live forever that way
gellaho
Aikido!
gellaho
Old Man Brendan
Westlake, you sonofabitch
Djonin Foxman
Apparently the FBI was using 10mm and the cops used 9
Bike Dancin' Greg
Damn Aikido and lips in two consecutive pages
Djonin Foxman
Ultimately 10mm fell out of favor because they “were starting to let women into the FBI and police”
And 10mm was thought to be too much for women
Jcantrell, hater of things
Is there an appreciable difference?
gellaho
Really creepy stuff coming up
Djonin Foxman
10mm is noticeably stronger.
9mm is infamous for not killing as often
gellaho
gellaho
Jcantrell, hater of things
An obvious flaw I'm sure
Djonin Foxman
Kind of more a meme because it’s a fucking gun either way
sensitive New Age jakesy
69, but not nice
Jcantrell, hater of things
Djonin Foxman
But yeah, because of the debate and the ditching of 10mm, a lot of more “macho” alt history and sci fi uses 10mm to show its a more dangerous timeline.
Like Fallout
gellaho
Miseri gets shot
gellaho
Bike Dancin' Greg
It would be fittingly Masters if they pointlessly kill off Miseri with no payoff whatsoever
Djonin Foxman
As for caseless weapons, it was mostly an experiment in reducing the weight and cost of ammo.
sensitive New Age jakesy
I got my money on her dying here and then there being a clone or clones of her that pop up later
gellaho
Just kidding, ninja shit
gellaho
Djonin Foxman
The caseless bullet was more or less a block of gunpowder with a bullet on one end
You can imagine it was really sexy for a little bit at the end of the Cold War as “future smol ammo”
Then it immediately fell out of favor because of obvious flaws.
Namely, a block of gunpowder is heat sensitive
And cracks easier than brass when you drop your magazine
gellaho
I guess this coin laugh is going to be a thing
Djonin Foxman
Oh and it doesn’t make a good seal so the bullets come out slow or off target
In short - caseless ammo is the biggest 80s and 90s sci fi gun meme
Bike Dancin' Greg
More coin similes!
Djonin Foxman
Next to gyrojet ammo
And 10mm
gellaho
I found it, I found the most poorly written sentence
Djonin Foxman
Oh I’m sorry did I miss something gross?
Old Man Brendan
I feel the "peak human" argument has lost all relevance now that she has a healing factor and a clone programming.
Djonin Foxman
This sentence smells like burnt toast
sensitive New Age jakesy
Wut
sensitive New Age jakesy
Yeah now she’s just a second generation cyborg
gellaho
OK. Weird to bring up in a fight
Djonin Foxman
Hope I’m not derailing things with the sci fi gun blabbing, I’m just trying to distract myself from the weird sex stuff.
Old Man Brendan
She was as much stronger than he as he was than a five-year-old girl-child.
On a technical level, it's correct.
gellaho
So fucking weird. She's also turned into Dennis Miller
Old Man Brendan
But if you have to get technical, it's incorrect.
Djonin Foxman
“Quick, what bothers women?”
“Not havin babies!”
Old Man Brendan
For those who aren't Macbeth fans, this is foreshadowing that Clone Steele will kill her.
gellaho
Fuck you, traffic and shopping malls
Old Man Brendan
...he's just cruising Route 66 now?
There's action, and Steele's not part of it because he is obeying traffic laws.
gellaho
Jackoff motions are back
Old Man Brendan
Maybe that's how their society waves goodbye, we don't know.
sensitive New Age jakesy
“Wait, hold on, don’t start the battle without me, the 101 is a nightmare right now at rush hour”
gellaho
gellaho
I don't care for this relationship
Old Man Brendan
Steele will impregnate her in battle by bleeding in her vicinity.
gellaho
This is repetitive and gross, what a combo
gellaho
This seems like it would be impossible for the pilot to fly while this was happening
Old Man Brendan
Why aren't they painted black, how am I supposed to get an er--OH, okay, murder.
Djonin Foxman
I remember when I was on patrol and had to do a co ordinated laugh with my fellow officers while our boss stripped
Old Man Brendan
A bodystocking of blood is a bodypainting, sir.
gellaho
Hunter remembered the serial killer from the beginning of the last book, that's nice
Old Man Brendan
buk-buk-BAGAW
Djonin Foxman
This author is weird - the phrasing and author’s voice is less stilted than the first few Steeles, but the author feels skeezier
You can tell this was written by a native English speaker who’s a creep instead of a weird but enthusiastic Russian guy
The creepy bits feel less naively creepy if that makes any sense.
Old Man Brendan
He's really getting comfortable with his creep.
gellaho
Just know that someone ate dog shit off the sidewalk for no reason
Old Man Brendan
This is why the TGIF spinoff That's CROWE! failed in one season.
gellaho
Without any real explanation, Steele and Crowe have made their way to the General's quarters
gellaho
And they led the general to the killing fields
gellaho
This is my first time hearing about this, I don't know how they knew about it
Alpha Scientist Javo
does he tell people about his pistol hand every book
gellaho
Donelson tried to invade the enclave without telling the general about it
gellaho
Usually
Old Man Brendan
Steele is Whiteman's Ghost of Christmas Present
gellaho
So Donelson is going to do a coup during an invasion, which is a weird move
gellaho
So I'm thinking Steele's human skin wasn't the best idea
Alpha Scientist Javo
wait
wait
wait
troopies?
troopies
Old Man Brendan
"She had remarkably supple wrists" is an odd observation for a horrified mourner.
I'm the only sniper to draw blood on Steele, but i died in a cammie blouse.
gellaho
It was all over in a minute, what a conflict
gellaho
Donnie?
Old Man Brendan
Donnie Steele.
Boy, these people from the 23rd century love them some 1990s pop culture references.
Alpha Scientist Javo
wait jilly is still alive? I have to admit I just showed up and assumed she was dead by now
gellaho
Oh, he got away
gellaho
None of our named characters have done much
Alpha Scientist Javo
thats got to be a new record for a love interest
gellaho
Nevermind, Dameron got him
gellaho
This book is thoroughly unpleasant
Alpha Scientist Javo
only asians get mad when you kill their children
Old Man Brendan
Is Crowe the Slasher?
Djonin Foxman
Oh man has no one called him Donnie yet?
Is this book the first time someone said Donnie?
I can’t believe I never made a Donnie joke.
gellaho
Then she calls him Don
gellaho
They always call him Steele. Even his ex-wife, who is also a Steele
So it's weird
Old Man Brendan
Our Steele is Colt Blacke, and by this rule I've been turning every use of Colt into surname.
gellaho
All that, and Miseri just visits the university
Alpha Scientist Javo
a deepthroat voice huh
gellaho
Nevermind, they are holograms
gellaho
Matrix has gone bad
gellaho
And got a flesh body?
gellaho
Old Man Brendan
that was part ONE??
gellaho
Ahuh
Alpha Scientist Javo
oh shit are we doing another two parter
does gellaho have the strength to soldier on
Old Man Brendan
It's not that ironic when you consider Steele is in the best version of his body.
Or that Matrix never wanted to be physical again.
I vote we pick this up next Friday.
gellaho
I suppose we can. There are 75 pages left
Old Man Brendan
Nothing happened and somehow there's a LOT to process.
Classic Hawkesters
gellaho
I don't think I can describe just how painful that book is to read
It changes perspective every 7-10 paragraphs
So it seems like there should be a lot more happening than there actually is
I actually have a headache
Djonin Foxman
And I got to bitch about guns
So I’m happy.
You can really hear the change in authors now.
Alpha Scientist Javo
the chickweed special
Djonin Foxman
It’s actually a little jarring
Old Man Brendan
Yeah, ya done good, Gellaho.
Djonin Foxman
The author feels more relaxed but is also acting more like a creep
gellaho
Old Man Brendan
Proud of everyone here. We got through a compound lift day, and only over the course of next week will we realize the many ways it strained us.
gellaho
It's just remarkable how little happened in that first part that actually matters to the story. He just decided to have the air force invade rather than wrap up any of the stuff from the last book
Like the Jesus cult, or the serial killer, or Miseri
sensitive New Age jakesy
Haha I’m sorry boys, I checked out about halfway through. Need to get the strength to soldier on later
Djonin Foxman
I missed the first part because I was driving
They rescheduled me so I could make sure the Mariners don’t cause a spontaneous riot