56: Starfinder Robert F. Young

FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer

Right on

John

That felt like so many more than 112 pages, and I was barely here for the first half.

Shark Puke Fetishist GDC

It's okay, you don't have to bleep out Starfucker

John

But thanks as always, @gellaho, Town Tamer

Gentleman Brendan

wow

FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer

Yes, thank you, @gellaho, Town Tamer !

John

Good work everyone!

Gentleman Brendan

This was a goddamn streetfight.

FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer

Great riffing, everybody!

Supernaught

I regret this man and all he does, but I'm glad we got through this together.

Gentleman Brendan

Great party, ROUGHSHOD book

LyraV

thank you so much, I might need therapy but I know a good Whale

Gentleman Brendan

Thanks, Gellaho.

Shark Puke Fetishist GDC

I'll try to catch the whole thing next time.

John

I think this book had great potential, it's just interminable as written.

FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer

This book is a fever dream being described to a dementia patient

John

Time traveling Spacewhaleship fucking rules, so it's doubly upsetting that this sucks so much.

gellaho, Town Tamer

So that concludes this edition of The Book Cage

Gentleman Brendan

The door is closed, but not locked.

see you all in a week!

but also tomorrow

FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer

Yeah, see you all tomorrow!

gellaho, Town Tamer

What I will do is look through the rest of this and see if it's worth continuing. If not, I will post some of these ASCII pictures because they are delightful

Supernaught

I look forward to last tomorryesteryear when we do this again.

gellaho, Town Tamer

Because if it just turns into him having boring time travel adventures with this kid, I don't care

gellaho, Town Tamer

You can tell it was written serially over a decade. Not just because of the weird tense shift, but every chapter had a different tone

It's such a weird book

Dolphin cop Thrillho

So were the space whalers after cosmic ambergris for their alien perfumes?

FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer

Kinda? I think they wanted the time travel radiation in their bellies.

So yes

Dolphin cop Thrillho

Or zero G baleen for sexy alien corsets?

Town Tamer Haraka

Did the whale eat their leg and symbolically emasculate them?

FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer

Nope. But it did travel to several points in America's past, then killed a space remora that was being kept by a pre-teen as a pet

Shark Puke Fetishist GDC

Of course it goes without saying that the way the author described the preteen made us very uncomfortable.

gellaho, Town Tamer

I have finished Robert F. Young's Starfinder. By Chapter 6, Robert was writing in 1980 had stopped writing like a complete asshole. The last hundred pages are a time travel paradox thing that I do not want to read again. So, to summarize:

1) He time travels with the little girl (Ciely) for a bit, then returns her to her parents.

2) But, uh oh, her parents are asshole drunks so he takes her with him.

3) But, uh oh, turns out the spacewhaleship is dying, so Starfinder has to drop off Ciely on Earth in 1996 while he tries to fix the spacewhaleship's ganglion.

4) But, uh oh, he can't. Star Girl (the dead girl he loves, but who's death he ironically caused), comes alive in The Abyss and resurrects the spacewhaleship. If you forgot the abyss, it's a dimension where weird shit happens for no reason. Then, they return to Earth to get Ciely and Star Girl is back in her cryogenic pod.

5) But, uh oh, it's accidentally been 8 years. Ciely is now 21. Oopsie, turns out she's Star Girl! But she's a painter and goes by Michelle now.

6) She wants to return to the spacewhaleship with Starfinder. But when Starfinder finds out she's living in sin with two men, his sexually repressed split personality "The Monk" surfaces and he yells at her. This causes her to leave with the two men on the space picnic that will end up killing her.

7) For some reason Starfinder cannot go back in time to prevent any of this.

8) Starfinder goes back to Farstar***** to bring Star Girl/Ciely./Michelle back from cryogenic stasis. However, he is captured and sentenced to death. The lady he killed, Gloria Wish, will bring her back to life in exchange for the location of the spacewhaleship. They do revive her, but then Star Girl/Ciely./Michelle rescues Starfinder with the spacewhaleship and then the book ends.

My rating for the finale of Starfinder is 2/5, boring

Most of the insanity is contained in the last two pages. Which is an extended construction metaphor that means... something

gellaho, Town Tamer

gellaho, Town Tamer

And this rogue "a"

FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer

holy hell

Ramb$ne Gracie with Scythe

((*️⃣))

I appreciate your sacrifice in full

FancyShark, Foe of Flip Hammer

Too bad that it got dull, but thanks for falling on that grenade for us, @gellaho, Town Tamer !

gellaho, Town Tamer

The spacewhaleship becomes somewhat irrelevant

By the end of the story all three of the characters had been resurrected, which I'm sure Rob thought was interesting. Starfinder was "executed" by Ciely/Michelle, but she had given him the antidote via the ninja kiss 150 pages earlier

And I can't forget Frasier and the "buffalo"

public jakesy no. 1

Where do they find the tossed salads and scrambled eggs?

gellaho, Town Tamer

The wardrobizer, I assume