50: Blind Justice S.N. Lewitt

Wolfbang Howlbig

I bet she tells herself that.

gellaho

She has decided to try making up some English

FancyShark

wtf

Wolfbang Howlbig

Is there a reason no one uses guns

FancyShark

Not as elegant as laser whips and shivs

Wolfbang Howlbig

Is it Dune related?

FancyShark

wait, yeah. Where the hell are the guns?

gellaho

Then he goes to prison, escapes prison. I don't really care

FancyShark

These idiots managed interstellar flight, but not how to throw a rock

FancyShark

Reaching your limit?

gellaho

Wanders around, more whores

FancyShark

He could smell the whores?

That's some Jack the Ripper shit

or just a really gross comment on hygeine

gellaho

Simon Simon

FancyShark

And his partner Hawke Hawke

gellaho

One page later, Simon Simon is revealed

gellaho

as far as I know, the only characterization Daniel has is that he was squatting with them

FancyShark

It's really a privilege to see an author at the top of their game

gellaho

Turns out that AI baptism was a very important plot point

gellaho

As was the computer sex

FancyShark

the hell?

gellaho

They's gonna kill all the computers

I guess I'm supposed to be on the side of the drug runners who fly intoxicated through the universe

Wolfbang Howlbig

Oh god. I feel like the writer really thought they were clever

Right here.

The baptism

Oof I'm checking out. How far are we?

FancyShark

"Nice try, assholes! But you didn't count on baptism!"

I don't know anymore

gellaho

Meanwhile, the Mary Damned is flying through space, still

FancyShark

Weeeee!

gellaho

I've skipped a lot, so I'm on page 208

Just in case you thought sexual assaults were solely the domain of men

gellaho

while that is happening her mind combines with the ship

so that's fun

FancyShark

jesus, lady. Just buy a vibrator

gellaho

it goes on for a while

I don't know why, because it changes absolutely nothing about what the ship was doing

I've been waiting for that virus to come up

it has not

FancyShark

I think the whole book was meant to be a buildup to the computer sex

And now the author is just dispassionately going through the motions

gellaho

Then Emile merges with Claude in a public restroom

FancyShark

Already trying to put the spice back in their relationship

gellaho

Then they invade the Justica's central computer and turn it into an AI baby

gellaho

because that's how computers work

FancyShark

Suck it, 2001

gellaho

And Emile takes a nap in the bathroom

FancyShark

Hey! There's the virus!

Or just hepatitis

gellaho

Oh, no. He's turned the AIs into French revolutionaries

gellaho

Now they're going to start cutting people's heads off

FancyShark

Finally!

gellaho

and then AI Napoleon

FancyShark

what

gellaho

I'm joking about AI Napoleon

Ramb$ne Gracie with Scythe

I'm really getting use out of the baguette today

FancyShark

lol, I legit thought there was AI Napoleon

This author's going places, man

gellaho

Redhead killed herself, that's fun

gellaho

glad to get the answer to that 230 pages later

Shark Puke Fetishist GDC

I was wondering about her.

FancyShark

Author must have double-checked the start of the book

gellaho

They have overthrown the Justica rule

But set up the guillotine anyway

FancyShark

hahahaha

She won't let any aspect of French escape her

gellaho

Gross

gellaho

For some reason, Gorvitz has taken control. Even though he showed up after the revolution

FancyShark

With a name like Gorvitz, he was born to rule

gellaho

And he's told the Anne-Sylvie to kill Emile.

The reasons for this are vague

FancyShark

"Che Guevara was too innocent to live"?

I guess someone skimmed the other countries for history

gellaho

So she does

gellaho

So that's fun

FancyShark

HA!

gellaho

Then a crazy woman feeds Emile to the flowers

FancyShark

oooooookay

Eyeballs first

This author writes with all the passion and eroticism of a praying mantis

gellaho

Then I guess the flowers kill everyone

gellaho

gellaho

The End

Wolfbang Howlbig

Thank god.

Shark Puke Fetishist GDC

Emile became the god-emperor of beau soliel, I think?

FancyShark

hahahaha

Wolfbang Howlbig

What a fucking dumb book

FancyShark

Well, fuck you too, author

Wolfbang Howlbig

Man I was not ready for shithead Dune

gellaho

If by god-emperor, you mean eaten by flowers and accidental genocidist, then yeah

FancyShark

But hey, we made it!

Shark Puke Fetishist GDC

Thank you for doing this, @gellaho, it was pretty rough.

gellaho

So concludes this edition of the Book Cage

gellaho

Chris Claremont's praise for this reinforces my theory that comic book authors don't know anything about actual books

FancyShark

Yeah, this one was tough. But thank you, @gellaho ! And great work, everyone!

gellaho

There was so much about the goddamned newspaper. Every time I saw the newspaper I skipped five pages ahead

FancyShark

I guess that makes the reveal about the one guy sort of important? But then again, what did the newspaper even add to the story?

Derpbat

Gellaho, our thoughts and prayers are with you.

gellaho

Next week Nancy Drew is investigating a plane bomb, so that'll be fun

FancyShark

Hell yes

Derpbat

Man, those plane bombers are going to wish the Hardy Boys were after them.

John

I look forward to finding out if "bomb" and "computer" are also synonyms in the Nancy Drew universe.

Derpbat

The important thing is that by the end of the story, Nancy Drew will have met at least three guys a thousand times better than Ned Nickerson, the human peat block, and yet she will not acknowledge them more than offhandedly.

Gentleman Brendan

How'd it shake out?

gellaho

Everyone died

FancyShark

Not a joke