gellaho
106: Bicycling Through Space and Time Mike Sirota
Tags:
The Year of Pain
Take a ride on the wild side!
Archive
Brendan
"this song is about meeeeeeee" --Jack Miller (not Sirota. Signed, Sirota)
gellaho
You don't know the half of it
MUCH MORE PENETRATION VELO
Really wish I wasn't having dinner while we did this
HeyitsTom
I guess just saying fat is easier than writing real jokes
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Oh hey it's the fat people from the murder maze!
Jack, run!
Brendan
This is getting pathetic and I mean that without rancor. So now we know the author's dad died and this song touched him, and the way he processes that is to have the singer of the song stand in for his cooler self-insert's dead dad.
HeyitsTom
it's almost too sad to mock
gellaho
And, then, you'll never guess what Mike does
The Badgers in the Discords
Mike Sirota would later go on to write the story bible for Little Nightmares.
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almost
HeyitsTom
AAAAAALLLLLLMOOOOOOOOST
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But his dad helped create Mike Sirota so he can burn in hell
gellaho
It's a Star Trek!
GDC
Not even recent star trek
'recent'
The Badgers in the Discords
Yeah, this is fucking retconned soft canon Star Trek.
HeyitsTom
jack just watched the guy carry his bike all the way to the pool before suddenly remembering the premise of his own story
The Badgers in the Discords
It hasn't been called Klingonese since the early Pocket Books days.
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Triple bingo
GDC
I think that was a line in a TOS episode.
gellaho
Oh, right, the amulet that gives him three lives
gellaho
There are five pages left
The Badgers in the Discords
Mike has been rubbing his Bukko through most of this manuscript.
gellaho
So, really no need for that to exist at all
HeyitsTom
"be hitler's dad" was ambitious
Brendan
Okay, I'm caught up. But I wish I weren't!
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We almost got it though
gellaho
Fuck off
Brendan
A bike that can take you anywhere in space and time, given to you by God, and EVERYTHING you can think to do with it is hang out with pop culture figures STILL ALIVE in your lifetime and time of writing.
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He spent a while hanging out with toddler hitler
Brendan
He's just doing the Wesley episode!
The Badgers in the Discords
This was a very long walk to a very shit punchline.
gellaho
He spent a lot of time in that future theme park. I skipped a lot of it.
And you can thank me for it
Good lord
Brendan
Sirota can't even lick a woman to orgasm without making three references to Clara Peller.
GDC
Wait, you don't need to do that?!?
Brendan
No, you do, but the spell only works if you time it right. You can't keep stopping just as you find the clitoris.
The Badgers in the Discords
Oh so it's like an active reload.
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Sirota has never found that
And we have what feels like 400 pages of proof
gellaho
I will give you one try to guess what's in these pools of pink liquid
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oh god it's pepto
HeyitsTom
"dad?"
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because they're fat
gellaho
HeyitsTom
ok pepto is a better guess
The Badgers in the Discords
fuck you.
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I'm as clever as Mike Sirota and that's the saddest thing I've ever said
HeyitsTom
I thought maybe the pool tasted like his dad, but I see now that I was wrong
gellaho
Another mystery solved
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they're about to drown someone with-
wait no it's going to cure the fatness
This man thinks in cartoons
gellaho
What a story
gellaho
Anyway, last chapter, get your references in Mike
The Badgers in the Discords
, beb
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oh god it's dennis miller
the whole book
it's been dennis miller the whole time
gellaho
He gets home, meets three old guys
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I can't stop hearing it in dennis miller's voice what is this curse
The Badgers in the Discords
It's really elevated the prose tbh.
Brendan
Think of it more like you can handily start from his highest point, or as he would put it, "The person making fun of me was NOT, as Andy Kaufman's character on Taxi, Mypos Myposi, would put it, 'You're so stupid!' but was in fact smart, like Albert Einstein, as played by Walter Matthau in My Mother the Bomb!"
gellaho
And as he rides off back home, how should the book end?
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With fucking
Fucking on bikes
like in Rad
The Badgers in the Discords
Don't worry be happy.
Calling it now.
gellaho
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, beb
GDC
I hope he won't
HeyitsTom
just imagine mike's smug little smile as he typed that out
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He will three more times
HeyitsTom
"nailed it," he thought with a triumphant fist pump
Brendan
I love how Jack defeats every challenge just by wanting to and being a smug prick about it. It's like this guy told himself every night "Of course there will be movie offers, but I'm less concerned with the money and more with getting Chevy Chase signed on."
HeyitsTom
"now to return to masturbating to my pinup calendar. What? It's a Far Side calendar? Even better!"
gellaho
Special thanks to Ro(a) bert Jameison who used to own this book and is unsure how to spell his own name
Brendan
Or that. God knows we were drowning in this type of '80s comedian.
The Badgers in the Discords
Long Live R@bert Jameison
HeyitsTom
hahaha
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That's such a god damn cherry on top
What a journey this has been
The Badgers in the Discords
What an exquisitely terrible book.
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We've laughed, we've cried, we cried some more, we whished it would end, we met a cat lady with some crazy sexy feet
gellaho
We have defeated Bicycling Through Space and Time
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We went to cuckold planet and fucked a guy's mom and then told him about it
The Badgers in the Discords
We did it!
For real this time!
HeyitsTom
we cried some more, we cried some more, we cried some more
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Fucked the cat lady milf, cried about that, thought about star trek
went to a theme park, pissed ourselves, met some kids, pissed ourselves with the kids
Went on a murder tour
Brendan
FOKK YOU ASSHULL
gellaho
Luckily, we have some extra time for a bonus round
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Solved a bomb threat
The Badgers in the Discords
Finding out Isis the cat from Assignment Earth could transform into a hot lady was a formative experience for Mike, I'm guessing
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Remembered music exists
That about that for a while
Thought about our collective dead dad
The Badgers in the Discords
Just a real direct penetration into the ammo magazine for his young boy brain
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Thought about a sad song
Brendan
His name is Ratber Jameipaulson