123: Tom Swift #9: Fire Biker Victor Appleton

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

It doesnt even protect your head!

You are going to suffocate!

gellaho

This rescue attempt went great

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

Tom is the stupidest fucking genius.

Velo, Electric Ghost

God damn it Tom

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

You fucked up so badly Tom!

Velo, Electric Ghost

This is what happens when you don't listen to the voices

gellaho

Imagine the pool of blood under the man, kids!

FancyShark

Ohhh

He dead

Velo, Electric Ghost

Good job Tom

The voices are pleased

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

Whoops all manslaughter.

gellaho

MORE BLOOD FOR THE CHILDREN

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

"I have an idea............lets eat his fancy Chinese leftovers he was saving!"

FancyShark

At this point, you might as well dig a grave. There's no way Jocko's coming out of that

gellaho

Now point the gun at the kids

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

Kneecap the boy genius!

DO IT!

FancyShark

Shoot his foot!

gellaho

"Fire! But, how to use it?" Thought the caveman

Brendo

BANG YOUR SISTER WITH THE FLAME

gellaho

Hey, ghostwriter? This is for children, guy

Brendo

Obviously the author has never slammed his penis in two doors at once.

FancyShark

The blood has pooled over 60% of Jocko's brain at this point

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

KNEECAPS! KNEECAPS!

FancyShark

Okay, I have several-

gellaho

What?

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

No follow up questions.

FancyShark

Dangit!

Velo, Electric Ghost

Official slogan of the site

FancyShark

Was the entire room made of oily rags?

Velo, Electric Ghost

Tom has embraced the voices

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

Huh, what a lucky occurrence.

gellaho

Wait, a second! I have superenergy

gellaho

Velo, Electric Ghost

Most buildings are, in Swiftville

gellaho

Superenergy, a "word" I have a real hard time parsing

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

Tom leaves Leo to burn.

FancyShark

Until around 1am, when he remembers him

Velo, Electric Ghost

It's not fun to look at

gellaho

Ah, Leo's alive

FancyShark

The suit charges up, gives Tom a heart attack, and they burn to death with Jocko. The End.

gellaho

Oopsie, dragged Leo into the fire

Velo, Electric Ghost

YES

DO IT TOM

SEND HIM TO HIS FATHER

FancyShark

This is the second time Tom has let someone stay in fire way too long in this book

gellaho

Time to die!

Velo, Electric Ghost

That time with Rick was just implied and doesn't count

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

Come to think of it Leo probably doesnt have parents or anything. Tom and Sandra prowled around his house and all and nobody turned up.

gellaho

Caaaaarrrrssseeeeetttttiiiiii!

FancyShark

Egon!

gellaho

And they will be horribly disfigured for the rest of their lives, I assume?

Brendo

Venkman, Megatron, Snake Eyes, Lion-O! Start a rad band!

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

Look we all know Egon did some shady shit to fund research.

Brendo

My father, Mr. Swift.

gellaho

Weird

FancyShark

Leo does not deserve the finest care

Velo, Electric Ghost

maybe take Leo to your home- oh wait no I get it now

FancyShark

For he is poor and fatherless

gellaho

Eh, what's the law anyway?

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

And they all forgot Leo stole an experimental jetbike.

FancyShark

A reminder this all happened because two nerds played a dull prank on another nerd

Velo, Electric Ghost

Tom wanted Leo to know that Tom was alright, and he wouldn't have to worry about him, Tom, while he recovered

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

No harm done.

Its totally not illegal to enter unlocked buildings at night, sure.

gellaho

These are some real names, sure

Velo, Electric Ghost

And then those two nerds immediately got in trouble in front of the entire school

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

The locking is what makes it illegal.

gellaho

Maximum Ted

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

One guess what "Futol Industries" does.

Velo, Electric Ghost

Burn him, Leo

FancyShark

"Yes. Hello, Leo. We've patented your invention. If you ever say a word about it, we'll sue your ass into oblivion."

gellaho

Good gosh, golly gee

FancyShark

"Give me a call. I'm into burn victims."

Velo, Electric Ghost

Privatize that 911 interface!

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

Swift and Maxted then have a knife fight over who gets to headhunt the kid for their company.

gellaho

All it took was stealing and getting beat and burned!

Velo, Electric Ghost

Oh Leo

This is all in your mind

You're dying from smoke inhalation right now

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

Just make it a few more pages without referencing a comic and you might even get a girl friend, Leo.

FancyShark

At the crash site of the bike, when you tried to fly it that first night

gellaho

What you insist on calling it. And by "you" I mean me

Velo, Electric Ghost

In the end the only thing to keep you company were the voices, Leo! And think of all the wonders they have shown you!

Velo, Electric Ghost

Rick gets first, second, and third person mixed up

FancyShark

Add the grounding and comm link but don't add an air vent

Damn whippets

gellaho

And Sandra goes off on a date with Rick. Suck it, Leo!

gellaho

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

Rick is inventing gaslighting on the spot and thinks he came up with it.

Velo, Electric Ghost

Yeah

gellaho

Wakka wakka

Velo, Electric Ghost

You and Sandra go work out some kinks

gellaho

The end

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

hahahhahahahahahhahah

FancyShark

Rick thinks it's so nice this puffin wants to ride a bike with him

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

And Leo was never heard from again.

gellaho

We have defeated Tom Swift #9: Fire Biker

FancyShark

We did it!

Thank you, @gellaho !

Velo, Electric Ghost

This might be the raddest one yet

Thank you @gellaho !

Don't do wippets, kids!

Do listen to the voices

FancyShark

Great riffing, @Velo, Electric Ghost , @Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage , @Brendo , @gellaho !

Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage

Or do whippets all the time.

gellaho

So concludes the 123rd Edition of The Book Cage

Velo, Electric Ghost

No, you!

Brendo

And then Tom frotted his bike

Velo, Electric Ghost

Yeah the wippet problems only come up when you stop doing wippets so either 0% or 100% wippets

Brendo

Tom, your bike is so hot.

Better put on a protective suit.

gellaho

Well, the perspective works for once

May all your clothing give you superpowers

FancyShark

Have a great night, everyone!

Brendo

Goodnight all! Sorry i was lost in capitalist hellscape for most of it. I hope you enjoyed Tom Swift vs. Marvel's Nightwatch.