gellaho
"Asia is a metaphor for Vietnam. That's how it works, right?"
67: Police Patrol: 2000 A.D. Mack Reynolds
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Space Action Flippant Sausage
"Ohhhh we were regular hooligans back in Soc Trang, when we burned down that school house full of women and children."
Derpbat
You are entirely unprepared for the story you want to tell.
FancyShark in a White Suit
No, Mack. That's how zooming out on a map works.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Also Tad can't fucking believe his ears.
gellaho
"It somehow didn't affect me, but I am a sociopath"
FancyShark in a White Suit
"Nah, I'm sure the murders he's done since he got home are more casual."
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"I'm pretty sure he's just racist, I mean, he ain't popped that many Vietnamese since he came back."
gellaho
Hey, Reynolds, I would buy the sickness if you attempted to put that in the dialog. At all
Derpbat
"I'd thank her myself, but she's bovine."
FancyShark in a White Suit
Cardin wept deep into the night, cursing Tad's name and staring at the dusty picture on his mantle.
gellaho
"Cheers, Norm. Also, fuck you for suspending me for no reason"
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"I'll give her a good beating for you..........Oh shit you're a cop and I shouldnt have said that."
FancyShark in a White Suit
Norm is somehow the narc of the police
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Norm sucks even for a cop.
gellaho
Wait, what?
Derpbat
I like how what?
gellaho
The fuck happened
FancyShark in a White Suit
bwaaaaa?
Derpbat
...what?
I think there was another war.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Or we're in Soylent Green territory
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Huh?!
What the fuck kind of Logans Run shit is this?!
Derpbat
@Brexdan McMoran We found the most dystopic thing possible!
It is literally all uphill from here!
Brexdan McMoran
We are solidly in terra alterna
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
We're 90% of the way through the book and we're just mentioning this now?
Brexdan McMoran
Now it's Logan's running!
Which is actually GREAT for the world.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Man Mack, Logans Run is NOT part of the Heroes Journey, you have this just so fucked up.
gellaho
"Left the daughter with him though. Weird."
Derpbat
I sincerely hope he just confused median with mean.
And this will never come up again.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Now hang on. It's been a couple weeks since Tad was suspended. A lot can happen in that time. Like the median age of a nation dropping to 25
Derpbat
"What's a matter, Tad? Don't you remember the GREAT SICKNESS?"
gellaho
Or him leaving the force again
FancyShark in a White Suit
"I spoke Polish to him and he tightened up. Dude was a total freak."
Brexdan McMoran
In 2000, kids, it was actually still socially unacceptable to be a Nazi.
Derpbat
"Blacks, Latin Americans, and Italians."
Brexdan McMoran
Italians the MOST latin americans
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"Hey, Tad. Make sure you DONT keep your service weapon while the gunman is possibly stalking you."
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Turn in your gun, but please accept this discount code for a gun on Pneumatic Amazon
Brexdan McMoran
Tad requesting a leave of absence, he totally could have put the nuke extortion adventure DURING this one.
gellaho
Uh oh
FancyShark in a White Suit
Black Like Tad
Derpbat
"Turn in your gun and order a better gun on the pneumatic tubes that power our civilization, which I think our author has forgotten about again."
Space Action Flippant Sausage
haahahahaaha he's gonna fuckin hang out and provoke this guy into shooting him, rad.
Mack understands cops after all.
gellaho
And now, psychic
Derpbat
Tad being psychic is the most plausible personality change so far.
Brexdan McMoran
#CANCELED
FancyShark in a White Suit
I knew Mack would try to wedge football in somehow
gellaho
Turns out Tad's ethnic disguise was pointless as he just stumbles upon the situation
Brexdan McMoran
"Did you watch the kicksandpassball game last night?" asked Jimmy. "It sure did funking SPROK!"
Derpbat
I'm pretty sure if you're going to call someone that, you can just drop an f bomb, Mack.
FancyShark in a White Suit
"He seems okay to me, Godfather"
gellaho
I know you know that's not the phrase, Reynolds
LyraV Galavador Dali Lama
Wow I was only gone for a minute and suddenly Tad has ESP? Shit.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Nah the G bomb was basically friendly in 70's America.
Derpbat
'nailhead'.
Funk you, Mack.
Brexdan McMoran
way to make it awkward, boneslaw
Derpbat
Turn in your SFWA card.
Then, turn in your typewriter.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Okay, I'm really starting to think Mack suffered head trauma
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Either that or this part is him exorcising some demons from Vietnam.
gellaho
"I mean, you were born in 1950, Brothers, so you have to be familiar with this story. But let's pretend"
Derpbat
He didn't serve.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
And that could have been where he got those demons.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Sounds like an interesting story, Mack. You could learn something about plot structure from it.
Derpbat
Apparently he spent most of the fifties in... wow, over a dozen places.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Meatloaves
Derpbat
And then spent most of the 60s in Mexico.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Los Meatloaves
gellaho
Case Closed
FancyShark in a White Suit
Still took the time to throw shade at a character's appearance
Derpbat
As near as his biographical sketch here says, he basically never set foot in the US from 1950 to the day he died.
gellaho
Focus
Really makes you think
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Tad just really doesnt do shit, it would have been a character something if Tad had shot that guy.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Untraceable guns? You idiots had Rex Moran fuck with the system and never mentioned there were untraceable guns?!
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
...what effect is a moustache supposed to produce?
Derpbat
A moustache is its own effect.
gellaho
The End
Derpbat
It justifies itself.
gellaho
I guess
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"You know.........I think wars might be bad, Tad."
gellaho
Guy gets hit by a car, what more could you ask for?
Derpbat
I mean, I could probably come up with a few things.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Great police work, Tad
Derpbat
But I imagine Tilly's going to go "Wait, you didn't shoot him?"
"Nah, he got hit by a car as he was going to kill a guy."
gellaho
Oh, shit. I might need this
Derpbat
"...that is incredibly unsatisfying."
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"The fuck, pig, shooting guys is like your whole deal?!"
FancyShark in a White Suit
Wait, that was THE End?!
hahahahahaha
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"Little fuzzy" sounds like a disturbing way to refer to Squatch dong.
Derpbat
The Fuzzy books are apparently key parts of the sci fi canon.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
So does H. Beam Piper
Derpbat
Which I refuse to believe or take any steps to verify because every time I've been told this I've also had to look at their covers.
https://www.fantasticfiction.com/p/h-beam-piper/little-fuzzy.htm
Where they get worse as editions are printed.
gellaho
We have defeated Police Patrol: 2000 A.D.
FancyShark in a White Suit
What a bizarre narrative
Derpbat
Also, Zoroaster comes back!
FancyShark in a White Suit
Thank you, @gellaho !
Derpbat
WOOO!
FancyShark in a White Suit
Mostly for Rex Moran!
Derpbat
The chartered Zarathustra Company had it all their way. Their charter was for a Class III uninhabited planet, which Zarathustra was, and it meant they owned the planet lock stock and barrel. They exploited it, developed it and reaped the huge profits from it without interference from the Colonial Government. Then Jack Holloway, a sunstone prospector, appeared on the scene with his family of Fuzzies and the passionate conviction that they were not cute animals but little people.
Read preview >
The... the fuck?
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Nope.
Derpbat
Was there some trend in the 1970s about Zoroastrianism?
The fuck?
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Narrative(s)?
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Rex Moran made it kinda worth it.
Derpbat
Apparently someone released an edition of Little Fuzzy with this as the cover.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Gonna add "Rex Moran" to the list of names for RPG characters.
Derpbat
But usually they look like this.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Also add Little Fuzzy.
Derpbat
But the cover I keep thinking of when someone mentions the goddamned book is the one they used for over a decade.
LyraV Galavador Dali Lama
I'm thinking I'll craft him into a Sim who's also a dashing criminal mastermind.
FancyShark in a White Suit
I hope he had to go around to different publishers, just so he had to say "no one will look at my little fuzzy"
Derpbat
An improvement, because the cover H Beam Piper himself apparently chose
Derpbat
Because I guess he was high?
Very, very, very, very high?
Brexdan McMoran
Or has it conquered our HEARTS?
Derpbat
No. We survived.
gellaho
The Worf book is longer than I remembered, so probably can't do that
Derpbat
Gellaho's right.
We won.
Brexdan McMoran
Ewok vs. Lobster: The Novelization of the Feature Film
Derpbat
Rex Moran could have saved us at any time, but he knew.
gellaho
That concludes Episode 65 of The Book Cage
Derpbat
WooO! We survived!
FancyShark in a White Suit
We did it!
Brexdan McMoran
What a weird capstone
Derpbat
...oh, holy shit, I may need to actually buy these.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Great work, everyone!
Brexdan McMoran
Rex Moran saw us throiugh like he promised he would.
Derpbat
...right up until Palin turned up.
Which is, again, not a sentence I saw coming today./
Congrats, Gellaho! It's too early to nominate you for more appreciation day, but we always appreciate it.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Yes. Thank you, always and again, @gellaho
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Much appreciated @gellaho
Derpbat
The actual creator does.
Somehow.
Brexdan McMoran
There's a Harvey Kurtzman estate printing comics?
Derpbat
There's a literary agent representing them.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Have a good night, everyone!
Brexdan McMoran
Well done, bookworms.
Brexdan McMoran
Thanks as always, Gellaho.