Space Action Flippant Sausage
God if only.
I am very pro-giant turtle.
Like even if we could only get them car sized.
67: Police Patrol: 2000 A.D. Mack Reynolds
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Voted the most popular science fiction author by the readers of Galaxy and If
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gellaho
He seems to have forgotten the Asian-war
LyraV Galavador Dali Lama
We end up with Sunnyvale Trailer Parks all over the Americas.
Derpbat
I think it's a winning election issue, but the immobile town lobby is always fighting against it!
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
They had to reorganize their economy after starting a land war in Asia.
gellaho
Ersatz guzzle
FancyShark in a White Suit
Precious bottles. They have little bows and bonnets and big, adorable eyes.
Derpbat
I mean, polish vodka is great, I suppose. I'm a schnapps man, myself. But... I'm not entirely sure I would describe vodka as precious.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Poland must be in one of the less common Europes.
Derpbat
Is potato.
gellaho
Getting blitzed for the DossierComplete. An awkward name to be sure
Brexdan McMoran
Man, I miss when sci-fi writers were communist-socialist hybrids instead of technolibertarians.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Livingroom-cum-bedroom
Derpbat
It was less charming when the communists actually were busy enslaving 50% of Europe.
Brexdan McMoran
Hot take: the worst vodka isn't far afield of the best vodka because they're all distilled and filtered to a certain threshold.
Derpbat
But looking back, we didn't know how good we had it.
Brexdan McMoran
It's not like rum or whiskey or tequila where I would prefer you keep it in a barrel until I am dead.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Wait, he throws the dishes and utensils in the disposal?
gellaho
Every sci-fi writer thinks 20 years is 200
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Welp its about time for Blades, gonna get a drink and mosey over to do some Rex Moran shit of my own, later yalls.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
"I'm back," he said.
"I missed you," said the cum.
Derpbat
The worst vodka isn't that far from the best vodka because vodka is intended almost entirely to get you drunk and 90% of it is distilling and bottling.
Brexdan McMoran
True, but it gets a lot more cool when you remove the authoritarian element and make it a voluntary participation.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Later, @Space Action Flippant Sausage !
Derpbat
It's not like a brandy or whiskey or something where there's an actual cultural cachet to it.
Brexdan McMoran
You'll be missed, unless we track the transceiver on your phone and alert the citizen constabulary!
Derpbat
Vodka's audience is people who want to get drunk.
Brexdan McMoran
Buddy is gonna kill our beloved Rex, isn't he, that wannabe cop motherfunker
gellaho
Dundundun
Brexdan McMoran
Charles Brothers: bloodlust psycho killer
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
All my drinks got a lot better once I started using gin instead of vodka.
FancyShark in a White Suit
"Okay, fine. The discharge was bloody. There. You happy?"
Derpbat
He wasn't so much discharged as he murdered his CO.
And everyone else in his battalion.
And threatened to murder us if we didn't let him come from Asia.
gellaho
Dundundun
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
God I wish I had gin.
Derpbat
See? SEE?
FancyShark in a White Suit
That's so Charlie!
Derpbat
MURDER.
Brexdan McMoran
Gin is just vodka with its own bitters.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
But what a difference those make.
Brexdan McMoran
I hate being right.
FancyShark in a White Suit
So Rex is just forgotten at this point?
Derpbat
Rex is the second shift's problem.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Oh right
Derpbat
And Boleslaw and the monkey gave them all the note they had.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Lieutenant said no OT, union rules.
Derpbat
AND he was declared an enemy of the state for... not murdering an old man?
gellaho
Ah, the famously hard-to-get grains
Brexdan McMoran
Did you know cops will often pick up someone at end of shift so they can pick up wicked overtime just filing paperwork on a bullshit arrest without dealing with the street?
Derpbat
@FancyShark in a White Suit Are you sure he's a communist?
Brexdan McMoran
I say this because God has given them an easy OT, but he actually has a gun, so our heroes go home.
Derpbat
Because I'm pretty sure an actual communist would be more positive about the socialist future of people's capitalism.
FancyShark in a White Suit
I am not. I only skimmed his wikipedia page and focused on his hilarious picture
Derpbat
Rather than just saying 'oh, yeah, we have no barley or wheat or anything to make vodka.'
'Just seaweed'.
Brexdan McMoran
For stealing fed money.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I wonder what the bread situation is like.
FancyShark in a White Suit
He could still be focusing on the evils of any capitalism at all
Derpbat
Man, the retrofuture is really different.
gellaho
He's written like 80 of these futures
FancyShark in a White Suit
That's true
gellaho
Plus, you know, they don't all have to be political diatribes
Brexdan McMoran
TGIFrday's rules: You can order all the bread you want, but it's too big to be delivered to any common-domain vacuum tube
gellaho
Not everyone is Ayn Rand
Derpbat
That's fair, just kind of weird that he keeps coming back to how everything is sea weed.
FancyShark in a White Suit
This is also true
Brexdan McMoran
I think Max's plan is to stay ahead of Tad so long that his stolen money becomes integral to the economy again.
gellaho
Rex Moran is hungry
Brexdan McMoran
The telecom heist method.
Hungry for the COMMON MAN'S JUSTICE
Derpbat
They did solve one problem we have now.
Brexdan McMoran
traffic control stop
Derpbat
No cash means it's very hard for the perp to steal and launder his stolen goods.
Brexdan McMoran
No more pesky Italia--wait, what was your take?
Brexdan McMoran
Counterpoint: crypto
gellaho
In 23 years: No more waiters! Who could imagine the luxury of a Chili's?
Derpbat
I don't think anyone was ever pessimistic enough to imagine crypto until we did.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Self driving cars of the future past work pretty good compared to ours.
Brexdan McMoran
Late in the game to bring in robots.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Necrowaiters are for Denny's
LyraV Galavador Dali Lama
Ostentatious Swank is a sick band name.
Brexdan McMoran
If they have serverbots I think having a butler really is a rich fink flex.
Derpbat
...did he think automats were going to survive the swine flu?
Brexdan McMoran
It's like owning a lawn in Scottsdale.
Derpbat
That's really kind of cool.
gellaho
They don't have fucking fruit or grains?
gellaho
Everyone got scurvy or what
Derpbat
What?
Brexdan McMoran
I will say this forever. All of web 3.0 thus far is inventing artificial scarcity to sell it back to ourselves except where it's bots making shit for bots.
Derpbat
What else are you doing with grapes?
FancyShark in a White Suit
"It's half a turnip, sprinkled with orphan tears and braised in dust"
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I kind of want to try the chicken doctor.
Brexdan McMoran
I had to go through like three authentications the other day to apply to a job via my work address, my lastpass, and the actual job application site. The future UI sssssucks for humans.
Derpbat
'Central Production: The biggest morons in the world'.
Brexdan McMoran
Your choices are grated prawns or Dr. Chicken.
Derpbat
Are we sure we assimilated them, and Venezuela didn't somehow conquer all of us?
gellaho
Seems like a mistake to put the thumbprint on the credit card
Derpbat
And then instead of Hugo Chavez, they were ruled by Captain Crunch?
Brexdan McMoran
The year is 2000. Grapes have been outlawed. Biff Tannen is President.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
NFTs are a solution in want of a problem.
Brexdan McMoran
Can we hand it to Mack for absolutely nailing the smartphone ecosystem though?
FancyShark in a White Suit
Rex takes out a keychain full of thumbs
Derpbat
That was the other thing!
Yeah, that was #4 on my list.
He's gotten smartphones pretty well.
gellaho
No crypto talk in my book readings
Derpbat
Better than Clarke did.
gellaho
Mack Reynolds loves cum
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
An upscale french bistro is the ideal space to commit identity theft.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Go see if the cum cashier can break a bukkake
Brexdan McMoran
The Frenchman couldn't describe him because he disdains everyone too much to regard them.
gellaho
Rex Moran: criminal mastermind and leaver of evidence
Derpbat
...Rex is still going on?
I LOVE THIS MAN.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Rex cannot be stopped
Brexdan McMoran
"Very well zen, 'ow to describe zis man? 'E was as though poverty itself 'ad sprung to life from the slums of Paris...'e was a less noble Jean Valjean. Through his heart blew a hollow wind."
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
"monsieur, we do not allow our patrons to forge identification during the salad course."
Derpbat
Man, Javert would have these guy's badges.
FancyShark in a White Suit
"M'seur will refrain from defying the state before the receipt"
gellaho
It's certainly convenient that he can rent a hotel room without paying for it or leaving any information whatsoever
Derpbat
I wonder if Mack is on some sort of drugs that cause short term memory problems.
FancyShark in a White Suit
hahaha, what is the point of any of these systems?
Derpbat
I mean, he was an author in the 1970s, so the sky's the limit.
Derpbat
Allowed him to turn four unsuccessful short stories into one salable novel.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Man, I wish I lived in this world. Crime would be so easy.
FancyShark in a White Suit
All technology in these old sci-fi books works on the honor system
Derpbat
Apparently.
gellaho
And order room service? What is this
Derpbat
What.
What just happened?
Are... are his scars that revolting?
Despite them not being mentioned in his description?
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Although, to be fair, this is essentially what Anna Sorokin did.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Wait I thought he said there was no whisky.
FancyShark in a White Suit
He just left a restaurant without paying so he could order more expensive food in a place with fewer exits
Derpbat
He's just so scarred that no one can recognize him.
HE IS IVAN THE FOOL.
Derpbat
No, there's no wine.
FancyShark in a White Suit
That was pages ago
Derpbat
Because grapes aren't allowed to be turned into beverages.
gellaho
Rex considers ordering a mopsy
gellaho
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Okay so, people complain when somebody orders "a beer" at a bar. But most bartenders know that it means whatever's cheapest on tap. But "a Scotch" is a step beyond.
Derpbat
The single dumbest sentence I have ever read.
I took political science at uni, and that's still the single dumbest sentence I have ever read, and I love that someone wrote it.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Prostitution works on a barter system. Thanks, Mack
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Rex, just jerk it to some pseudo-porn.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Mack just invented onlyfans, i think?
gellaho
Every country has had its name changed. Except Iran
FancyShark in a White Suit
If you've had a bite, you've had your fill of caviar
Derpbat
I guess that's technically a name change? I think in 1977 it was still called Persia.
gellaho
No grain, but you can get a pound of caviar
Derpbat
Oh. Huh, they made us stop doing that in 1935.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Okay, Mack, we get it. The future is fish and seaweed
What the hell are chopped eggs?
LyraV Galavador Dali Lama
He built himself the finest pillow fort to smoke out while waiting for his meal.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
These country names imply varying rarities of Europes and various complexities of Soviets.
Derpbat
Also, Asia.
I am so glad we don't know what he's done to Africa.
I hope we make it through this entire book without finding out.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Hopefully, for their sakes, it's just gone
gellaho
The next morning, the gorging continues
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
There's no joke I can make that I wouldn't feel bad about.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Second shift sucks
Derpbat
That wasn't a joke, that was just an observation. I genuinely do not want to know.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Rex was in a room with one, maybe two exits tops, and the police didn't find him and his CONSTANT use of the stolen card
gellaho
No idea why this stolen card is still working
FancyShark in a White Suit
Honor system. Gotta be
gellaho
It also seems like he would have already burned through that $42,000
Excuse me, p-$42,000
FancyShark in a White Suit
Paintings and sports equipment
Okay, calling boats "floaters" is actually genius
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Paintings you can order from Pneumatic Amazon can't be that expensive.
FancyShark in a White Suit
"Some assembly required"
Derpbat
Is he planning to sell those paintings to other pawnshops.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Okay so I have to authenticate via my bank's account if I order a ten euro kebab, but these guys sell yachts on faith?
gellaho
Anyway, I guess Tad's back on the grind
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
"this is an awfully modern canvas for being one of the Dutch Masters".
FancyShark in a White Suit
"I don't have it. That means I didn't steal it anymore."
"I guess that checks out."
LyraV Galavador Dali Lama
What did he want sports equipment for?
gellaho
No idea what the point of any of this was
Derpbat
I'm so confused.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Rex splurged like a kid that stole their parents' credit card
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
He definitely planned to use it for sex stuff.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
So really. He had lots of guns. They should have been more specific.
FancyShark in a White Suit
After he considered the mopsy
gellaho
Marvin Ruhling
Derpbat
Second shift is just the worst.
FancyShark in a White Suit
"It was an obscene gesture, but Boleslaw let it slide"
gellaho
And the bank man
FancyShark in a White Suit
Moran is targeted for death by the bankers of America
Americas, sorry
gellaho
Twist
Derpbat
What.
FancyShark in a White Suit
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Derpbat
What.
FancyShark in a White Suit
He was testing the system!
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
...fuck. This.
Derpbat
@Brexdan McMoran You win.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Rex is a consultant!
Mack, you fucking coward!
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
You'd think they'd do this kind of pen-test before such a wide rollout.
Derpbat
Yes.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
"why didn't we think of that before we made them mandatory?"
gellaho
It makes no sense with him trying to trick the bank into giving him more money, but whatever
FancyShark in a White Suit
Wait, it was a BET?!
Derpbat
WHAT.
FancyShark in a White Suit
HAHAHA
Derpbat
Second shift is the worst.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Rex is playing so many games with our hearts
gellaho
Sharpies wizard jimmying
FancyShark in a White Suit
This is like if a white hat hacker stole Swiss bank accounts from the UN to show that they need better security training
gellaho
That's our hunky Tad
FancyShark in a White Suit
hahaha, Tad will die a virgin
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
What happened with the Asian-war vet?
FancyShark in a White Suit
He might be the connecting narrative
or just something Mack forgot
gellaho
Damn you, Amazon!
gellaho
Tad just stumbling back into the plot at the mall
FancyShark in a White Suit
"Why do women wear makeup? They're much prettier without it" - Mack
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
"Also, broads just need to smile more, mopsy!"
gellaho
Robo-female can not consume intoxicants
gellaho
FancyShark in a White Suit
"Father is the clown doll on my bookshelf"
Brexdan McMoran
Okay, last I recall was the fingerprint photo bafflegab at the french foyer, catch me up, Mr. Shark.
gellaho
Dumpy, indeed
Derpbat
IT WAS ALL A CON.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Rex was doing it all as a bet with the bank
To test their security and the cops
He bet he could go 24 hours without being caught
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Rex was a white hat pentester.
Derpbat
And he got away with it because second shift is the worst.
Literally the worst.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Second shift didn't catch him as he sat in a hotel and ordered everything he could off Amazon
Brexdan McMoran
hahahaha, MY MAN
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
He revealed security flaws we all pointed out in seconds.
Brexdan McMoran
REX FUNKIN MORAN
gellaho
Mack thinking WWI was a century before 2000 helps me understand his concept of time
Brexdan McMoran
Truly a legend
FancyShark in a White Suit
AND HE GOT TO GO FREE!
gellaho
Well, Narcs get to do that
Brexdan McMoran
God, I love you, you magnificent Moran.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoogqyipXbc
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Sam's bar serves dark beer despite the fact that grain is banned.
FancyShark in a White Suit
It's made with tires
Brexdan McMoran
Stupid enough to be a cop, crazy enough to be a crook.
gellaho
Jesus Christ, Mack get it together
LyraV Galavador Dali Lama
Mack is circling the well of existential despair hard.
gellaho
"The old west predates the US, right?"
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
The bartender handed him a crude sketch of a pint.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Tad, you couldn't capture a man testing if you'd capture him for doing everything illegal
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
"just once I wish someone would ask me to stand and deliver"
Brexdan McMoran
Buddy, in 2000 women were not this demure. Did Mack miss second-wave women's lib?
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
I think he missed several waves.
FancyShark in a White Suit
This isn't the face of a feminist?
Brexdan McMoran
Like nobody can predict the future, but it's weird to think the pill had just come out, NOW was kicking ass, the ERA was on the slate...
gellaho
Just some polite bar talk
Brexdan McMoran
and he's over here writing Donna Reed.
gellaho
Dude was born in 1917
Brexdan McMoran
he was a futurist by trade!
FancyShark in a White Suit
So four hundred years ago?
gellaho
Exactly
Brexdan McMoran
...sidebar: I would throw you all into a fire to get with It's a Wonderful Life Donna Reed.
Ride or die babe right there.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Yeah, that's fair. I might do the same
But I'd apologize first
Brexdan McMoran
On paper I agree with what Tad's saying, but he sure knows how to frame it like a Fox News talking head.
gellaho
Mack takes a minute to annoyingly complain about how unrealistic movies are
Brexdan McMoran
or maybe off-paper.
gellaho
In case you weren't sure that Mack was a nerd
Brexdan McMoran
Like OBVIOUSLY murder and molestation are bad, but can we get more distinction here?
Is he saying this stems from Sex Deviant Homosexualists?
gellaho
He was a sixty year old man in 1977. I'd adjust your expectations accordingly
FancyShark in a White Suit
That means he was in WW2 or claiming he was in WW
Brexdan McMoran
They circled the wagons at the mountain meadows massacre but that was sorta by proxy for the mormons.