140: Kent Montana and the Reasonably Invisible Man Lionel Fenn

FancyShark

I hope wherever Lionel is, he sees our reading this and is as angry with us as we are with him

gellaho

Anyway, the fat man, the skinny woman, and Milo are all trying to burgle Kent's hotel room at the same time

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

Hell, it's hell

gellaho

It's thrilling. Or, maybe it would be if I had any real idea of what these guys wanted

gellaho

Instead of Lionel insisting on being mysterious in his stupid comedy book

Still don't know why he went back to get these in the first place

FancyShark

I guess they want the invisibility formula?

gellaho

"Movie term," Lionel wrote, giggling at his own gag before pulling out his favorite candy, a Laffy Taffy, to find more comedy gold.

gellaho

It's not even recognizable as comedy. Or anything else

Apparently, these idiots think the notebooks contain songs

FancyShark

wut

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

Because the invisible man is a singer, you see

FancyShark

So the premise is if they get his songs, they'll be rich and famous?

gellaho

Which will make them rich and/or famous

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

I can't believe I'm saying this, but that story about the sleepwalking idiot in the hospital was better written than this

gellaho

And a conqueror. Somehow

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

Okay so the original invisible man did come up with a plan to conquer the world but that was a symptom of his madness, one of the final strands of sanity snapping

gellaho

The blind accordionist randomly shows up, which gives Kent a means of escape

gellaho

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

Lionel has a worse grasp of jokes than the bicycling through time and space guy

gellaho

Next part

FancyShark

No, Lionel

That part is when we find you

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

No we won't have that until 2006, Lionel

How are there so many parts to this book

gellaho

There are some stones

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

This feels like a god damn Scarrow tome

FancyShark

And Gellaho said there were only like 60 pages left

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

Every page is two hours long

gellaho

They have similar chapter lengths

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

… Lionel I just noticed you're loosely copying an Agatha Christie novel and you can fuck all the way off for that

gellaho

Eat my balls, Lionel

FancyShark

Lionel got a thesaurus as a treat

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

Lionel I will find your grave and the word "desecrate" will need re-examining because it will not be strong enough to describe what I do

gellaho

The policewoman still pretending to be a hooker fucks for some robes

FancyShark

Lionel, cops pretending to be hookers don't actually fuck people

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

Oh actually his grave is pretty close. I could get there and be back in time for dinner

gellaho

Janice looks

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

How do you know that, are you a cop?

FancyShark

<sniff> yes

gellaho

Janice goes commando

gellaho

Claudius fatly sits

gellaho

Then he hears singing

gellaho

That goes on for a while

FancyShark

This would be eerie if it wasn't so annoying

gellaho

And I guess Claudius called the police on him in wherever

gellaho

And he's dead

gellaho

So useful that he was included in the narrative

FancyShark

They are obviously saying Ycum

I don't know why Lionel's being coy about it

gellaho

Meanwhile

FancyShark

Get on with it, Lionel

gellaho

Milo also gets sang at

gellaho

This is a terrible song

gellaho

Oh, and Milo's dead

gellaho

You think that's annoying, check out the description of the ceremony

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

I wouldn't hate this so much if I wasn't absolutely sure Lionel thought it was hilarious

gellaho

The invisible man is already up there. Must have gotten superspeed in addition to the strength

gellaho

In case you were wondering, Janice is still nude

gellaho

I guess his revenge is publicly killing one stranger

gellaho

Oh, and the other druids up there were police, but weren't doing anything

FancyShark

What was the plan here?

I'm asking every character

gellaho

They continue not helping Kent

FancyShark

Because this all seems like an FRO7 situation

gellaho

Someone starts singing

gellaho

Janice figures out they can untie the woman

gellaho

Unfortunately, because Kent was perched on her thighs (?), he falls down

FancyShark

If every character could quickly get stabbed so we could say goodbye to this series, I wouldn't object

gellaho

I guess Hazel was singing. Why? I couldn't say

FancyShark

It was far more endearing when the Whos down in Whoville started singing to distract the Grinch from stabbing Cindy Lou Who

gellaho

Everyone joins in, which is some real corny horseshit

gellaho

Especially for a book that's said slut this much

FancyShark

Is the singing supposed to make him weaker?

Lionel?

Lionel, answer me

gellaho

Then Kent mounts the invisible man

gellaho

Doesn't last long though

Verified Pervert FlippantSausage

Shit I spaced out doing something else and Kent still isnt dead at the hands of this mostly invisible, over the hill Welsh country and western singer.

gellaho

They argue about song lyrics

FancyShark

That's almost a joke

gellaho

What if I told you it kept going

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

I'd scream "why?! Dear god why?!"

gellaho

Then Racig runs away, ass visible

FancyShark

His signature move

Verified Pervert FlippantSausage

Kent.........no actually yeah go ahead and bash your fingers into a mans teeth and not someplace not likely to cut or break them.

gellaho

Racig somehow falls off a cliff into said river

gellaho

Irony?

FancyShark

At least Racig is consistent in his giving up when things get difficult

Oh hey. He made it far enough into the water.

gellaho

Praise be

gellaho

Always die ass-out

gellaho

A lot of Lionel's attempts at gags are visual, which is a bold idea for a book

FancyShark

He probably wanted to make a graphic novel

gellaho

And now, fully naked

gellaho

The evil women survive

FancyShark

Getting some last minute problematic descriptions in

gellaho

Janice is still naked and Hazel goes to fuck the doorman again

gellaho

Kent takes some time to appreciate the brilliance of the crazy murderer

gellaho

Verified Pervert FlippantSausage

Well probably not.

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

They were shitty songs

Verified Pervert FlippantSausage

Like most things get forgotten pretty quick, even when they arent Welsh regional country and western stars.

gellaho

Janice says she's naked again

gellaho

For no reason

Asks for another nose licking

FancyShark

Dammit, Lionel. Not this again

gellaho

Then Kent gets a script delivered

gellaho

FancyShark

Please be a bomb

An actual bomb

gellaho

Kent threw the notebooks away

FancyShark

Great. Now the fish will steal his songs

gellaho

Janice repeats how naked she is some more

FancyShark

I think this is a seduction technique

Verified Pervert FlippantSausage

Kent thinks about his mother while women are telling him they are naked a little too much.

gellaho

Then Janice gets fully nude and insists the book end

gellaho

It does

But first, the credits

FancyShark

oh fuck you, Lionel

gellaho

More bits!

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

I'm un-consecrating your grave, Lionel

FancyShark

Fuck you twice, Lionel

Eric Christmas O'Javovich

Wow. WordPerfect.

gellaho

Bits!

Verified Pervert FlippantSausage

Fucking Word Perfect.

gellaho

MORE BITS!

FancyShark

Velo, I'll pay for the backhoe

gellaho

BIIIIITTTSSSS

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

Lionel you are the least funny son of a bitch that's ever been removed from a library to make room for the periodical section

Eric Christmas O'Javovich

Desecrate!

That!

Grave!

Verified Pervert FlippantSausage

GODDAMMIT LIONEL, nudity doesnt count in novels.

FancyShark

There is no way in hell there's a Kent Montana fan club

Verified Pervert FlippantSausage

Not even in universe.

gellaho

Ok, now it's over.

We have defeated Kent Montana and the Reasonably Invisible Man

FancyShark

WE DID IT!

Tom, Boy Detective (Retired)

Wow, Bill the horse was played by Bill the elephant but we didn't notice because it's a book

Funny funny stuff

FancyShark

Thank you, @gellaho ! That hurt

Good work, team

Verified Pervert FlippantSausage

God I hate the comedically intended ones.

gellaho

So concludes the 140th Edition of the Book Cage

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

Thank you @gellaho !

FancyShark

Alright, time for dinner. Have a great night, everyone!

Velo Was A Ghost The Whole Time

Fuck you Lionel

Have a great night @FancyShark

gellaho

May you stay free of invisible country western singers