Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
not having a generator in the car is kind of the whole point though
63: The Hardy Boys Casefiles #91: Hot Wheels Franklin W. Dixon
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On the highway to the future, one wrong turn can lead straight to disaster!
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gellaho
Hippies famously hate gold
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Yup thats genuine crystal hippy dippy bullshit.
FancyShark
The Legend of Hippy's Gold
Gentleman Brendan
Hippies only like gold for its medicinal value
gellaho
Boom boxes ward off ghosts
Gentleman Brendan
COOL GUY ALERT
FancyShark
For a book about a race, this feels very slow
gellaho
It must be that sick bass
Gentleman Brendan
No, Sharon was the ghost.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Frank is having a stroke.
FancyShark
Please let it be that the boombox means they have extra batteries
Gentleman Brendan
Joe redirects all his energy away from having a stroke into hatred of women
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
The heat is getting to him or something because.......boom box = Superior performance is just peak nonsense for 1990s
gellaho
I'll bet it's the future hippies from Time Blender
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
It's too early for Twitter to revolutionize stupid things to say.
Gentleman Brendan
I love that the crime is BREAKING THE LIMITS for solar EV capacity.
These crooks found a way to make electric cars go 500 miles at a respectable speed.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Dastardly!
Gentleman Brendan
Fuck the race, start a business.
gellaho
RIP hippie car: couldn't survive basic road speeds
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
They'll undermine America's oil industry! The Communists will win!
Gentleman Brendan
Green clouds are tornadoes.
It happened to me in the Bronx. Weird shit.
FancyShark
It happens here too. It's scary
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Joe.......do you think hippies control the weather?!
gellaho
So far I have not seen respectable speeds
Gentleman Brendan
Well if driving cautiously isn't "cool" then I guess I'm just a big lame.
FancyShark
Hippies. Druids. What's the difference?
gellaho
Seems like seventy will destroy these balsa wood vehicles
Gentleman Brendan
A curved dagger.
I assume the cars can't handle high speeds because they need to be light enough to run on the riches of Sol?
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Sixty five is almost highway speed here, but Iowa has actual wind on a regular basis so it wouldnt work here.
FancyShark
True!
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
It would be funny to watch one of those dipshits hit a twelve point buck doing fifty five tho.
gellaho
Millions of dollars
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
They're shaped so that they fly off like a kite and the slightest breeze
FancyShark
They market it as "wind propelled"
Gentleman Brendan
These really are soap box derby cars
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Lol hand operated windshield wiper is so jank I cant even.
You guys really reinvented the car, but in a literal way.
gellaho
Ah, deadly danger
Gentleman Brendan
Even that is a euphemism for "Squeegee under the glove box"
gellaho
Suddenly: Zeus
FancyShark
Too bad you don't know anyone heavy that could weigh the car down more, Joe
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Later they find Joe in a tree six miles away.
Gentleman Brendan
Why does this novel hate the promise of clean energy?
FancyShark
It was written by someone bitter that they stopped using whale oil
Gentleman Brendan
Okay, plainly there is a two-explosions-per mandate.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Joe why are you smiling like a dork about some woman youve never spoken to?!
gellaho
Probably because a book about the success of clean energy would be extremely dull
Gentleman Brendan
If you can't find a computer, summon lightning.
Gentleman Brendan
I AM BEGGING FOR DULL
gellaho
I'm sure you could find several academic papers to satisfy your urge
Meanwhile: nothing
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
I dunno I imagine a competent author could construct a pretty cool thriller around clean energy and capitalists struggling to control it.
Gentleman Brendan
I can't comprehend science, I write comic books for the internet.
FancyShark
A competent author could at least write something that didn't feel like a guy rambling about a road trip in between occasional opinions on alternate fuel
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Joe has to be the luckiest robot ever, how did that lightning bolt miss his car and metal body and hit the very nonmetallic cactus?!
Or like......a power line?
Methinks the ghost writer doesn't know how lightning works.
gellaho
You're driving like 150 miles per day, I don't know how much a tiny generator is going to help
Gentleman Brendan
It's very simple. The cactus is more electrifying than Joe.
FancyShark
Joe doesn't notice the miles and miles of extension cord running out the back of the Suntex car
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Joe is just now figuring this out.
Gentleman Brendan
Okay, but like...you could STILL hook the generator up to a solar roof and slot it in the car, let's focus on what matters.
gellaho
Fuel is also more weight
Gentleman Brendan
i guess that's a capacitor.
gellaho
And would produce toxic fumes inside the car
Gentleman Brendan
or a battery, I already explained my position on Science.
FancyShark
There's no question these cars suck
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
🤔 That still.....seems like a pretty big achievement? Also winning or losing......arent you driving a car powered by six twelve volt batteries, Joe? That's kind of a big deal.
gellaho
Magic boom box
gellaho
Also, I'm pretty sure the bass is what takes up the most energy
it can like literally vibrate your body
FancyShark
From now on, every time my neighbors show up at 1am with their subwoofer blaring, I'm going to run out and yell at them for making excess electricity
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Also.......generator the size of a boom box that can power a car......seems impressive on its own.
Gentleman Brendan
Gonna drive my balsawood car straight through their living room.
goddamit marie it's a hair dryer
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
This is a hybrid car? Are they mad about hybrid cars? Because there are no rules in this race, why is this motherfucker a problem?
gellaho
Stop saying bass guitars. Nobody uses more than one
gellaho
What would be the point
FancyShark
Shows what you know, gellaho. My all-bass band the Lo Tones is getting a gig any day now
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
You can drop the bass cascade style if you have like six bass guitars.
gellaho
Bass guitars also don't twang
Gentleman Brendan
Really going the extra solar-powered mile to ruin this fraud's life.
gellaho
What? No. What?
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
that seems unnecessary
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Okay I like how a bomb went off, and that was no big deal, but the mini generator is a step too far in this no rules solar death race.
gellaho
The power to use a hair dryer does not equal the power to drive a car
Gentleman Brendan
hear me out -- what IF the car was made of dreams?
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
or they could just point to the generator and say 'look, a generator'
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Callie has been in the sun too long and her vital matrixes are starting to dissolve, she can taste death.
LyraV
Did they all just start laughing or awkwardly staring at each other like 'Someone tell her.'
FancyShark
"If it can run my Foreman Grill, it can power Detroit!"
gellaho
This is among the worst excuses I've seen for a crime
Gentleman Brendan
I only committed fraud to hide my other fraud.
FancyShark
Mack the Whiny Bitch
gellaho
It's that Sharon woman, who we barely know and has been mostly in the background
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
And the bomb was just the Air Force guys having some fun, it had nothing to do with Mack.
And Sharon is on some Theranos level grift shit, by the time these dipshits figured out she didnt have the secret to limitless clean energy she would be on her way to Argentina.
FancyShark
Wow. The character the writer didn't have to write was the villain all along
gellaho
Good thing we weren't informed about any of Sharon's motivations
FancyShark
Seems like shooting him would have been less conspicuous
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Jesus it really went from "stripping wires and fraud" to "Bomb" soooo quickly.
gellaho
The PG language makes this very funny
LyraV
You cockamamie creep!
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Way to scream your confession Sharon.
gellaho
POWER!
FancyShark
"But...six 12 volt batteries..."
gellaho
Goddamned hippies
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Sharon.......you were competing to sell a solar powered car design to a dipshit millionaire who probably wanted to just see some people die in a car crash.........the fuck kind of power do you think you were getting?!
Gentleman Brendan
Lyra, be our guide: in New Mexico, who are the killers: the hippie cultists, the Air Force bombers, the fraud scientists, or the Hardys framing them?
FancyShark
She went berserk when she lost her crystal? Is she a lich?
gellaho
I'm sure they'll get plenty for this car that steers poorly and uses a hammock as a seat
FancyShark
As he hands over the check, a light breeze carries the car away and leaves it stuck in a tree
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Can be blown away in........a normal amount of wind? Yeah.....million dollar design.
LyraV
Morality is subjective, they're all guilty of something. Namaste?
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Also; Very flammable? Toxic battery gas?
gellaho
And we end with a truly atrocious joke from the injured Bill Little
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Fuck you Bill.
You deserved it when Joe ate that part of your fried ear.
FancyShark
Within minutes, Joe has swallowed the battery and requires emergency surgery
gellaho
We have defeated The Hardy Boys Casefiles ™️ #91: Hot Wheels
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Also Barrington obviously wanted to just do some rich guy shit and see some plebs die for his amusement and this was how he did it.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Thanks everyone!
FancyShark
Thank you @gellaho !
Great riffing, everybody!
gellaho
So concludes the 61st Edition of The Book Cage
gellaho
I know realize that the stun grenades promise on the back were a lie
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
A sadistic Hardy Boy lie.
Gentleman Brendan
Gasp it was Sharon?
LyraV
That's how lure you in, promises of stun grenades and wheels that are hot.
FancyShark
The lady who was clearly sabotaging everything and was never spoken to was evil!
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
The WHOLE TIME! Who could have guessed that the bad tempered suspicious person who was hardly around was behind it?!
LyraV
Evil redhead is never ever portrayed in any media ever. I'm shocked.
FancyShark
Evil, naughty naughty sexy redhead is never allowed
Sorry, what were we talking about?
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
It would turn the whole mystery genre on its head!
Gentleman Brendan
All redheads just need a strong, bat-themed alpha male to put them straight.
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
Or potentially a medium petite clown themed slightly bottom energy woman.
gellaho
People talk about representation all the time, but I gotta tell you that redheads are if anything, overrepresented
FancyShark
Or a spider-themed beta-ish male who's bad with money
LyraV
Just please anyone but Scott Summers.
gellaho
I'll just let you know that the books that are coming up are wild, and leave it at that
LyraV
Fuck yeah, I cant even begin to guess and that's awesome.
FancyShark
These reads are one of the highlights of the week. Thanks again, @gellaho !
Karate Physics Flippant Sausage
I totally rearranged my normal sleep patterns to not miss the book reading and it was worth it.
FancyShark
Thank you all of you for joining in on these, btw!
Gentleman Brendan
You had my interest, sir. Now you have my slavish intrigue o my sweet master give me more books that I may feed and grow strong oh no I have Renfielded