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Chet shows up to the house and he's doing great
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Chet shows up to the house and he's doing great
Chet, you walked from the car to here. Are you okay?
"AH EHT A BEHBEY"
Sick, fat fight on tape
CHET FIGHT!
He did it without eating an entire chicken so no.
Well, Chet had it for a second
Two hardened combatants unleashing all their 'soomoo' skills
KIRK DOUBLE FIST!
"Something about the voice sounded familiar", thought the one character who just explained the twist
This same fight happens every day at at least one buffet
And that's how Callie met Chuck Lorre
Chet is the undisputed champion of the Golden Corral Royal Rumble
Don't you dare put her on that horrible show, you monster
Ughhh id rather die than appear alongside sheldon cooper
Hissssssss
With that, Mangieri is the worst Hardy Boys villain.
Frank just gaslighting Joe now
Chet...ANGRY
THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING THAT UP EARLIER
Chet...kill?
Argh argh argh. Hate murder kill
Frank.........you already said it was Don,........you fucker, did you know from the beginning?
Awful, horrible plot
Frank knew the entire three years Don has lived there ......
Fucking Frank is the real villain of this story
I'm beginning to think Mock didn't kill that cop.
How many bodies was it going to take to share that info, Frank?
At least 3 Callies.
The boys decide their best option is the destroyed buildings downtown that have been posted as off limits. As usual, they are the masters of stealth
They strap stealth bike horns to their feet
Van chase with the Bayport PD!
The tornado paid off the cops too?!
This seems like a great idea
Their crime van has a reserve tank?!
When time and speed are of the essence, siphon gas into your friend's shitty '48 Pontiac.
Fuckin what?
You are continuously followed by explosions, but sure, mess with gasoline
Chet's dad is apparently really into stealing gas
For those really long van chases
hahaha, Chet got you good, Joe
It was the 90s stealing gas was the done thing
If Chet had gotten Frank to drink gas instead and this was payback for the birth certificate thing I would have forgiven everything
To be fair, Joe, you didn't exactly hesitate
He was still hungy!
...No one asked you to do that, Joe.
The most devious of all detective's tools: a public phone book
Now they go to every house with a Mangieri listed and execute the occupants like the Terminator
Creeps hang with creeps. That's why sex offenders are so popular in prison
Wait you didn't even figure out where he lived already? The fuck, Hardy boys.
If you're all in solitary confinement you're still technically all together, right?
Chet works great as a door ram
Once Chet starts moving, you can't stop him
It's physics
There it is
YES
Weird coincidence
oh wait, cuz of the bomb
Chet's usenet handle is xX_Unstoppable_Force_420_Xx
"Finally, sweet release!" Frank breathed.
Seems like a very advanced technique for Evil Chet
Art.
Callie should know better than to move.
If it can just go off for whatever reason the author feels like, isn't it really just one reason?
Mangieri is one of those Operation Gladio kids you hear tell about
That bomb seems like it'd take a lot of practice to set up
Terror rehearsals are a pain
There's no way Frank knows how to throw a football
Mangieri has dressed up as Heath Ledger's Joker for Halloween every year since the movie was released.
A friendly dog brings the bomb back
It sounds cool when you put it like this but the ghostwriter is tastefully omitting the nerdy "NYEHHH" Frank made when he threw the bomb
A rare inaccurate cover. I am very disappointed
Okay but the trigger didn't go off from yeeting the fucker but it would have if Callie moved?
Good thing Frank chucked it into that playground outside
Well, it did go off when he moved it, from a certain point of view
(1) This is inside a house? (2) Joe definitely isn't involved in this at all. (3) Where is my precious fat boy?
Fuck them kids
There's like a steel door surrounded by stone in that picture
Callie is rocking a sweet sweatervest, though.
They can't put Chet on a cover. They would have to either make it a foldout or admit he's Fabio
Chet was with reflex fast enough to turn his head, that's why he's not on he cover
I could have sworn she was a brunette
This is a complex bomb. Either bobby or Mangieri is wasting their time blowing up cops for vengeance when they could be doing it for fat stacks.
Gross
Frank recoils at this organic contact
They like to remix her hair color every few iterations.
She's blonde. Most of the time anyway
"Or my Pizza King", Frank added, and Frenched Chet for much longer and harder
There's a very confusing paragraph in the first book
Wait, now I get it. Mock must've gone through a few Callies setting up the bomb
Oh just the one?
Joe just kind of tries not to look Chet in the eye right now.
I'm with Callie, it's a very weird thing to say
They did not call it that, lads
uh
Fuck off it's not called blood law you nerd.
no that's dumb
Yeah, I'm pretty sure weregild was a thing
Joe learned his history from a metal album
Somebody has short brown hair, it's either Iola or Callie. I put the paragraph in the movie
Also Frank under that law you'd owe him fucking money you dork.
Based on what little I know about Mangieri, that seems unlikely
Jesus, pick a fucking reveal, author
Photographers do like to make bombs
not everything is about you, joe
Joe. You fucking dumbass.
Joe smash
Neither of them liked actually solving a problem
You can tell because their characters are so different!
Joe, what exactly do you do, detective wise?
who does
Joe likes to Chet his way through a problem.
Con is the world's largest door mat
Man, when you're the title character and you can't even rightly call it Joeing through a problem, something's gone wrong in your life
btw, did we lose @BlindMonkey ? If so, thank you for dropping in, Dennard!
Just asking because you got your ass handed to you by a short fat kid dressed like a Power Rangers comedic relief villain and now you think he's a criminal mastermind.
"T'would be easier to deliver the moon for ye, laddie!"
I'm in and out, last minute shopping bits
This is fantastic though
Right on
Oh shit, hello Dennard!
Alright, this is my new favorite scene transition
Con will remember that Frank forgot Stan's name.
I never knew how explosive centric Hardy life was
Lol of course it's this late in the book before Dead Partner gets named.
Don. Buddy. You had them dead to rights. Just open fire, my man
There's an entire book based around computers exploding via viruses
There's a explosion-minimum to these books that is insane
These children suffer so much head trauma.
Their bones must be soft jam
Their entire bodies have built in crumple zones
Don is ready to go to hell tonight
The average brain injury per hardy per book is greater than one.
Joe is immortal. Frank's a robot. It used to be a running joke but now it's the only possible explanation
Frank is some kind of man borg so his bones are fine, structurally speaking
Just shoot, coward
The Hardies are just as tired of their lives as you are
Pointing a gun at a Hardy triggers the monologue chromosome
THIS GUN PROVES MY INNOCENCE
Take the shot, pussy. You'll miss like you did last time.
"I-I just...WILL YOU TWO LOOK AFTER MY CAT WHILE I'M OUT OF TOWN?! Huh, I feel better now."
So, I decided to shoot you, I guess
"I JUST THINK YOU SHOULD COME TO GAME NIGHT! WE HAVE CATAN!"
"YOU HAVE TO PET HIM THE WAY HE LIKES! AND TELL HIM HE'S A PRETTY LITTLE KITTY! YOU SAY IT OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEADS OFF!!"
"I admit it. I'm only trying to use you to get close to Chet."
Don noticed how everyone in the hardy's orbit ends up dead and was willing to kill to save himself
"He's the Pizza King. Gotta kiss that ring, you know what I mean?"
Why did this happen? Who knows
"I understand your pointing a rifle at us. Everyone has that reaction."
I've never seen a clearer case of NaNoWriMo padding
Somebody did not like this page
Oh shit
Aw poor book.
I hate pointing a gun at the wrong person. Ruins my afternoon.
😢
It's not its fault it was written the way it was
The ghostwriter went around to every library in the country to cut out the most embarassing part
NAMESSSSSSSSSS
It's only the wrong person if they are alive to testify against you.
The shift key earned its keep that paragraph
God almighty, just say "the kids" or "the team"
This book is weird
I'm glad we were all made aware of the travel arrangements. I'm sure that will come up later
"He keeps them in this little case on a chain."
"He's got the eyes of a cat! He keeps them in a little glass jar in the back of the closet!"
Fuck, scooped
hahaha, did someone cut the page to prevent kids from learning how to break a window?
Haha holy shit that might have been it
Someone has tried to punch glass with their hand glass wrapped in a hankerchief and lost their shit when they read another person advocating for it, had to rip the page.
Fucked up their hand and their best hankie. Someone had to pay
So help me god, if they didn't get full coverage...
So, looking for someone with a mustache
Also teens in the 90s all carried handkerchiefs, right?
Y'all mistook a twelve year old for a toddler?
Come on, gang. Come the fuck on.
Excuse me, how big?
In a brilliant trick, Bobby Mock is like Benjamin Button. They're looking for a zygote
Yeah to go with their ascots and vests. What else?
Hahaha whaaaaat?!?
That's a fucking endtable
That's not a book, that's a medieval grimoire
Mrs. Hardy hates it when Fenton calls it his old case log.
Gasp! Not the police officer they barely introduced this book!
You gonna get your fucking horseman-chauffeur to carry this very normal case book around, you extremely believable teenagers in this extremely believable town? Fuck you.
Fenton hates it when she calls it his cold case file
Oh come on.
NOT-
who?
He slept on the couch for a week after she called it a red herring.
To be fair, he was in more of the book. But he was also fairly inconsequential so he got skiiippppeeed
Hahaha fuck you book. You set up a red herring but didn't earn your reveal.
I think it would still be just as underwhelming tbh
It set up like three red herrings and undid every one of them almost as soon as it introduced them
It's even better that the writer couldn't make the character interesting enough for us to notice
Classic "it was just some asshole!" Stuff.
I've never seen anything like it
The best mysteries end with a shrug
This was his grand introduction on page 11
Like the ghostwriter read a lot of Sherlock Holmes and was like "oh I can just make a guy up, huh?" But didn't understand why Doyle works.
Now, I haven't read all previous 38 books. But I am fairly certain this is the first time he appeared
Oh right. His "distinctive" white blond hair and 357 magnum. The clues were there all along
Hold the fuck on
He's a cop and he wore a ski mask to get into the hospital?
"Whaaaaaat?"
He made himself MORE conspicuous?
Don't worry about it
Joe, keep up
To be fair, that's a hard sentance to parse
Fuck you, Joe.
Now him missing Frank at short range makes a lot more sense.
Joe is very smart
Hand it back to me so I can put my fingerprints on it too
Someday we need to determine why "snub-nosed .38" was determined to be the gun of choice by crime novelists
Luckily Stewart is also very dumb
Neither Hardy boy has ever successfully used a firearm to my knowledge. Every time they think to it's empty
The more I notice it, the weirder it is that every gun needs to be identified by caliber.
Jesus
Second time that gun's exploded
Can't afford the brand names
It was a cheap and easily accessible gun, the Saturday Night Special.
What do you mean, "grazed her temple?"
Welp, that Callie's good as mulch
It was like THE crime gun for decades
It only slightly killed her
Yeah, not like that's bone near your brain
Like grazing your upper ribs
What could possibly go wrong
Joe's broken those bones hundreds of times
Joe doesn't have anything important behind those bones
They need to make a Callie model that has her organs in her shoes or something
They'll just have to decant a new Callie.
Stewart has decided full madness is the best way to go
Huh, I guess he's a real cop
There are somehow still 27 pages left in this
Well that's a terrible plan but whatever.
Con flew backward like Gene Hackman in The Quick and the Dead
Kicked out at two
Make sure you sprinkle some crack on Frank to make it believeable
And maybe shoot a dog to be safe
God damn you, dived
Now a full chapter of Con Riley beating Stewart into paste
Irish last name vs English last name! To the death!
Good news, everything is fine
Check Riley? I thought he was Irish
Later: bed time
Yeah of course he was wearing a vest, Joe. You goob.
The fact that he never offered you two vests should be a hint
The next morning; they discover an answering machine message that reveals Stewart left their parents a dastardly answering machine message
You'd think as often as they are shot at they'd know to have their own.
a Chief among Lice
But more importantly, this asshole didn't write snuck
Meanwhile, Fenton is getting a handy in the stall of a truckstop
Yeah, go in without backup to catch an armed suspect
Booooo crucify the writer! #snucknotsneaked!
Thanks, there's no way I could figure out it was a truck stop on my own
Not West of Bayport Truck Stop? You sicken me, writer
Trucker's Pit Stop was a truck stop, a stop for trucks where trucks could stop
There was also a pit, but no one liked to talk about that.