Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Fuck you Frank. Im going to go eat candy with my NEW brother, Andrew."
82: The Hardy Boys Casefiles #57: Terror on Track Franklin W. Dixon
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Never drop your guard in a fight-or you may get dropped for good!
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FancyShark
"Candy machine" means "Tic Tac dispenser"
Badgerman
He thinks it's a candy machine but it's actually for cigarettes
1000 Space GDCs
We're going to eat candy and make chemistries.
Badgerman
He still eats them though. He likes how they clump up when they get wet
gellaho
On the way to try and find Andrew, Joe is distracted by teens
Brendan
Is Callie still alive or something?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"These "Pall Mall" menthol flavored candy sticks are terrible."
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Assuming Chet hasnt sucked her pussy so hard her head caved in, yes.
Badgerman
Oh shit, they sent in Red Grant
FancyShark
Someone trying to pull the switch to shut Joe off
FancyShark
If you can call being Frank's girlfriend "alive"
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Welp, you knew Andrew for like an hour before he tried to strangle you, Joe. Nice job.
Badgerman
Unrelated but the image of a Hitman trying to strangle someone with the pull string on a Sheriff Woody doll made me happy
FancyShark
Andrew lasted longer than most!
1000 Space GDCs
Well done 47, target eliminated
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Oh here's your problem. Someone set this thing to "Dipshit."
Brendan
Have we ever seen Callie allve? I'm starting to think she never existed.
gellaho
You guys really like fantasizing about the sexual exploits of these high schoolers, huh
Badgerman
"You'reee my faaavorite deputyyy!"
"ack ghhhhk wheeze"
FancyShark
We may be overinvested in Chet's happiness
Brendan
I'm a Mrs. Hardy man myself.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Also they've been teens for over 40 years.
gellaho
You'll never guess that Joe got away
LyraV (hiding in the xmas tree)
Yes I came in just in time for my favorite part
Badgerman
He didn't even get free, the strangler just gave up
FancyShark
Completely fumbles the kill at the slightest bit of resistance, just like a pro
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Okay but good for Joe to remember the best way to get out of being garrotted is to just blast the person strangling you in the guts until they let go or die.
gellaho
So many clues
1000 Space GDCs
you really need to commit with the fiber wire
FancyShark
I hope this goes in a Murder on the Orient Express direction
Badgerman
It would be more believable if she had just said "no, leave me alone, weirdo"
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Yeah you gotta saw it with the fibre wire, what you really want is piano wire so it slices into the windpipe.
Badgerman
Nobody likes to be bothered in public, least of all train commuters
LyraV (hiding in the xmas tree)
I'm visiting with ppl irl which is super rare so I'm going to miss the rest of this one but I'll get caught up later. Keep up the good riffs!
gellaho
"The guy who almost killed me was just so small and weak"
Badgerman
It's also more fun to call it piany wire.
FancyShark
Have fun, @LyraV (hiding in the xmas tree) !
Badgerman
Can't really do that with fiber wire
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Have fun with your company!
gellaho
I don't think they're commuting from San Francisco to Chicago
1000 Space GDCs
they get their choke-wires from the same place they get their gunsnouts
FancyShark
"It might have been one of the guys after the serum. Or maybe a random strangler. You know I have that effect on people."
Badgerman
Listen, Amtrak stans are diehard
Brendan
OK foamer
FancyShark
Can confirm. Those seats are so comfortable!
gellaho
Yeah, Frank, I bet double chin here is the short thin guy
gellaho
No, no that isn't your name
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
This guy is just nosy but hes got a .38 in his pocket.
FancyShark
This man just wants to get home to his wife and sausages
Badgerman
"I own Del Ray publishing."
1000 Space GDCs
Weird way to introduce yourself to a child
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
And by "pharmaceutical supply" he means "Am a drug dealer."
gellaho
And it certainly isn't suspicious that you are in pharmaceuticals
Brendan
Rex Moran coming through!
1000 Space GDCs
or snouty, if you're a Hardy
Brendan
stress testing your dea network.
FancyShark
All he has to do is not get caught by the Hardys
So yeah, he's good
gellaho
Remember that Talia is in her twenties
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
They dont catch criminals all the time. Usually the ones they do catch are the ones who decide to murder them for no good reason, so just dont do that and you'll be golden.
FancyShark
That attack on Joe was pretty captivating, guy who wasn't there
gellaho
Blushing through her bones
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Frank is an okay but not good brother. Hes worried about his brothers near death, but not so worried he cancels his lunch date.
🥐Chloe (i)
"Literally my job to, bud"
Badgerman
Punching way above your weight here, boys
This is clearly a JCVD love interest, y'all better skedaddle before he gets back
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Frank takes any opportunity he can to point at a womans torso.
FancyShark
He was pointing at her breasts and got lucky
gellaho
You are all forgetting that Frank is a robot
1000 Space GDCs
"a good photojournalist is never without boobs?"
🥐Chloe (i)
So uh, always have those? I mean that! That uh…. Lens thing!
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Shes blushing because shes relieved he didnt ask about her necklace of ears and human teeth.
FancyShark
No, I know. He considers breasts inefficient
Badgerman
Joe's rubbing off on his machine learning algorithms
gellaho
I'm pretty sure Frank is more interested in the camera, it reminds him of computers
FancyShark
That's a good point
gellaho
He gets a big fat interloper anyway
FancyShark
Hell yes, Delray is John Candy
Badgerman
Always a great move to just plunk yourself down at the middle of someone else's table
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Hahaha Frank is getting out maneuvered by John Candy on a train.
gellaho
Frank is having a hard time with these very subtle clues
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"I wish this old fat guy would fuck off so I can get back to asking Talia about her sweet succulent camera."
FancyShark
Delray thinks Frank's signaling a threesome. Or a murder pact. He's cool with it either way.
Badgerman
I wish John Candy had been around long enough to play against type like this. He'd have kicked ass
🥐Chloe (i)
Literally how is Frank supposed to be a detective, he's dumber than a baby
Badgerman
They just decanted this model, I think
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Joe likes to throw magnets at him, it messes with his onboard memory.
🥐Chloe (i)
Oh god are there magnets in cameras??? He spent too long looking at her boobs!
Brendan
I'm sorry. I went back up to the ballad of rex moran. It remains incredible. I'm crying.
🥐Chloe (i)
Call the robot ambulance! Franks having a stroke!
gellaho
Meanwhile, Joe encounters the scientist with a totally real name
🥐Chloe (i)
"This guys so boring" "MMMMMMYOU RANG???"
FancyShark
Curt Loring sounds like a guy who should be showing us how to catch river trout
gellaho
Ghostwriter really running with this grown woman and high schooler thing
FancyShark
Frank doesn't notice Talia putting so much emphasis on "sleeping"
Badgerman
Compartment M for Murder
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Boy she must be real tired. We better not bug her."
Brendan
It bugged me to no end young fred was an idiot.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Meanwhile Andrew is just dead and rotting in a cabinet someplace.
Brendan
nit as much as anything Scrappy did but still
🥐Chloe (i)
Wait a second, Curt Loring sounds almost EXACTLY like Curtsexual Loringassault
Brendan
That's my dad.
gellaho
Andrew decided to fuck up the plan and just brought the vials with him
FancyShark
Fenton pulling one of his wacky international pranks
Badgerman
It's a real Andrew move tbh
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Hey what do you think dad means when he said Andrew has the pee?"
"No, not pee, PEA. Its CODE."
"For?"
"Vegetables."
Brendan
Fucking car is near the caboose.
gellaho
Really great plan, Andrew
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Dad wants us to bust Andrew for smuggling undeclared fruits and vegetables!"
FancyShark
Frank doesn't notice her emphasis on "caboose" either
1000 Space GDCs
Andrew has anger management problems
Brendan
wait...from thenortheast to chicago?
🥐Chloe (i)
Not the weed!!! PLEASE DONT TELL ME THEY STOLE THE WEED!!!!
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Frank and Joe already flushed it. They are supreme squares.
gellaho
WE MUST PLAN IN ABSOLUTE SECRECY
FancyShark
They started in San Francisco
🥐Chloe (i)
Tell me more about these vials
FancyShark
Or they REALLY suck at directions
FancyShark
One is a deadly virus that can murder the world. The other is the vaccine.
🥐Chloe (i)
Are they about 12 ounces, my little pony figurine at the bottom?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
How could Curt have penetrated our veil?! The only people who knew was us, dad, Curts dad, Andrew, everyone within earshot in that parking lot, and the entire security company we hired!
gellaho
UTMOST. SECRECY.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Hey mysterious hot lady with a camera, you seem honest. How about you help us with our crime busting capers?"
FancyShark
Talia just needs to move her garrote wire off the table
gellaho
The snack instinct is hard to overcome
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"It pays zero dollars and you get all the danger you can eat."
gellaho
What are the odds the small, thin guy was actually a woman?
Impossible, I tell you
FancyShark
You're right. I'm sorry.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Joe would have smelled her.
Unless.........
HAY FEVER!
gellaho
Hey look, a new Con Riley
gellaho
This ghostwriter is really up on the series
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
The Riley clan really gets around, job wise.
Brendan
can't lie, I'd take that bet over Curt.
FancyShark
I can only hear him as Steele, forevermore
Badgerman
Con Ductor Riley
Brendan
Conbaby Riley shows up in book #86
gellaho
The hawk has returned
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Its Birdman!
Watch out for his solar beams, Frank!
Badgerman
Starland Labs, just different enough from Star Labs to duck the copyright lawsuit
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Also his vicious dick kicks.
FancyShark
Because coming out with a pistol aimed at the gunman's own head would be a bit dark
Brendan
THIS is the bingo free space
gellaho
Lethal Load was the name of my hardcore band
Badgerman
Heheheh "lethal load"
Brendan
And MY snuff film!
FancyShark
And MY booty shorts line!
Badgerman
I'm still impressed they let you decant a Callie for that
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
And my business transporting dangerous chemicals!
On trains!
gellaho
Certainly not suspicious that Talia let this guy get away
1000 Space GDCs
My accomplice would kill you!
FancyShark
This is before Talia's dad tried to make a name for himself and he was still R'has Al Neiman
Brendan
why are they talking like he left?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Gee this mysterious hot woman sure has a strong grip. Almost like a strangler."
gellaho
You can leave this evidence in the capable hands of this elderly assistant conductor, sure
FancyShark
If you ignore a killer, they can't see you
Brendan
the...other conductor?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Gunmen are like T-Rexes, if you dont move they cant see you.
Badgerman
Yeah, don't pick it up, put a pen in the barrel and foul the rifling so no usable ballistics can be extracted
Badgerman
Riley's only the assistant conductor
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Its why they keep missing Frank and Joe.
gellaho
NOTHING SUSPICIOUS HERE
Brendan
Ass Con Riley, got it.
Badgerman
I don't think they get to call themselves detectives when they miss body cues that are LA Noire levels of obvious
FancyShark
Loring is terrified they'll discover he didn't pay for the comfort seat upgrade and just took the seat because no one claimed it
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Since I'm not suspicious at all, can I just leave? I'd like to catch the murderer while hes still got time on his schedule for prowling the train looking for dipshits to kill."
gellaho
Aw, shucks
Badgerman
You wouldn't download a comfort seat 💀
FancyShark
Gee whiz!
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Frank calm down. That sweater made you look like a Christmas ham with a brain injury. It's better this way."
1000 Space GDCs
Joe had just finished watching a Jordan Peterson video and was very upset with seeing his room messy
gellaho
You know, a human finger
gellaho
Lol
Badgerman
Fucking incredible.
FancyShark
Classic Andrew
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Its just one of Joes.
His traveling fingers.
Badgerman
Thinking quickly, the boys write a letter to Fenton asking for a few gallons of hydrochloric acid
FancyShark
"Frank, I see a finger."
"Joe, you're pointing at your face again."
gellaho
Shit, actually dead
gellaho
Enjoy the garroting kids!
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Also SURPRISE the missing obviously dead guy is dead!
Badgerman
"Contorted face"
FancyShark
"Imagine being that horrible of a parent as to send your own child off on a dangerous mission"
"We should call Dad"
Badgerman
He can grow a new one, he's a chemist
gellaho
"Could you imagine how your parents would mourn your death, children?"
gellaho
"Why are you crying?"
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Yeah Dad will know what to do. He always tells us what to do with the bodies."
1000 Space GDCs
This looks bad but it turns out Andrew wanted to go out David Carradine style
FancyShark
They especially didn't want to think about how hungry and eager Fenton had looked when they'd mentioned their own mortality once
Brendan
Frank can't even cup a tit in these books but a teenager gets garroted to the point of decapitation
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I have even odds that in the event of a Hardy Boy expiring, Fenton just becomes convinced its an elaborate ruse.
gellaho
"The Tall Man From Starland" is my galactic alter ego
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Because Fenton did that once.
FancyShark
The killer is David Bowie?
Badgerman
"He would have had"
gellaho
The ten year olds should really be getting some nudity
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I'd rather my ten year old read about titties than garrotting tbh.
Brendan
I'm just saying, you want your preteen imagining first love or last breath?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
If I had to pick one.
gellaho
Andrew was up to some weird shit
FancyShark
No, Joe. He ate dog food. He was a deeply eccentric boy
Brendan
Great, now a dog is sad.
1000 Space GDCs
.Andrew was collecting some resident evil herbs
Badgerman
What, are we gonna visit the stonecutter and decide on a cenotaph next? Good god this is ghoulish
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Did the professor just.....put vaccine into dog treats?!
FancyShark
And a waifu pillow is sent to the incinerator
gellaho
"Riley fumbled the gun out a window"
gellaho
"Because, I gotta tell you, it's already hilarious!"
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"You seem like nice boys, I cant imagine why someone would want to kill you."
FancyShark
I would pay money for a Steele/Peewee Herman buddy cop show
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"This near decapitated corpse, is this some kind of prank you non train people pull?!"
Badgerman
Kids these days with their dead body on train car pranks, grumble grumble
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
What is Hermans life like that he has to even ask that question?
1000 Space GDCs
Herman has been the victim of some extremely cruel pranks
FancyShark
He's been sprayed with so much fake blood, he doesn't even smell it any more
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Just rolling his eyes dourly as he kicks a path thru fake severed heads.
1000 Space GDCs
His prom was actually the inspiration for Carrie
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"These are just paper mache."
FancyShark
Last trip, a class of kindergarteners made him think he'd caused them to mass suicide because he ran out of animal crackers
Badgerman
Yeah that sounds like kindergarteners
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"cmon you guys. This is corn syrup and food coloring. Tickets please."
gellaho
They go through Curt's socks and are lucky to only find a phone number
FancyShark
"It's all crunchy from evidence."
Badgerman
"Since it was hidden in his sock it probably means he wanted to keep it safe— Christ in heaven what the fuck am I saying?!"
gellaho
Hawk man can only appear at the end of chapters
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Are you sure? Im having a hard time reading it. The ink ran, I think Andrew had sweaty feet."
1000 Space GDCs
Joe is amazed that frank could find a phone number by smell
Brendan
Frank calls the number and a person known only as De'vine De'vour tells him ASMR vore erotica.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
SWITCHBLADE! The crime knife!
Badgerman
Hawkman is too busy trying to figure out which version of his backstory is currently canon to be making further appearances in this book
gellaho
OK, ghostwriter, Jesus
FancyShark
"Huh. She must be in a sleeping car."
Brendan
So like...slicing his temple?
Badgerman
Unfortunately it was an inch in the wrong direction and nailed him straight in the brainpan
gellaho
Then Frank almost gets stabbed in the dick
FancyShark
Joe dodging a fucking Assassin's Creed attack
Badgerman
Frank just fucking dragging a dude down a flight of stairs
Brendan
And dragged a man down stairs. FUCK your dental work
FancyShark
Nothing says badass like a midfight promise to yourself
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Thats why you wear the big belt buckles, Frank. Ask Johnny Cash. Knife fight or ostrich duel, belt buckles keep your guts inside.
1000 Space GDCs
Joe nailed that QTE
Badgerman
CTE is great for interrogations!
gellaho
You know, the chin, the best target for a punch
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
You kinda........dont need to check the knife for prints guys. You KNOW who had it.
Badgerman
They don't declare the dude KOed so he could just be standing there wide awake while they keep going with the scene
gellaho
The pointiest part of the chin
FancyShark
"Then they ripped him in half like a loaf of bread"
gellaho
We need those claw prints!
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Imagine Hambone manifested and did their bread scream emoji.
Badgerman
Oh NOW who's invested in these high schoolers' sex lives, hmm?
FancyShark
Hot damn, Joe
1000 Space GDCs
Joe fluffed like he'd never fluffed before