94.1: The Big Lie Anthony Del Col & Werther Dell'Edera

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P0_f5fkrCTA

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Goddam, its like the artist was trying to make a really boring storyboard for a movie but made a boring comic instead when he got told "This movie is boring."

gellaho

Need all that lead up for your edgy Nancy Drew appearance

FancyShark

There's a clear line between "minimalism" and "not trying" and this creative team sprang right over it

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

The reverse Oblivion

gellaho

They made ten covers for this

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Cmon if you're going to make a noir Nancy Drew give her a gun in a shoulder rig, this is basic shit.

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Ten???

Because the first was so great??

gellaho

I also have one of those. It sucks,

gellaho

We have defeated The Big Lie #1

FancyShark

We did?!

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

lmao

Hahahah.

gellaho

Onto The Big Lie #2

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Oh thank god we can leaveAW FUCK.

gellaho

I don't know if you can notice, but there's a lot of focus on Nancy Drew

FancyShark

It's subtle

gellaho

Let's see if that applies to the story at all

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

You can hardly notice her Sin City esque red top on that cover at all.

Because my eyes are blurring so bad at first I thought her top was the red maw of a giant turtle and thought "Oh shit, giant turtle adventure?!" and was disappointed when I looked closer.

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

I love how it's a big pot but no one has any more chips

gellaho

Special Unthanks to you, Anthony

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

If you've posted "stuff" on social media, you can be found liable for this dreck by The Hague

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Is this going to be the one where the boys Nancy Do her?

FancyShark

waaaaaaaaaaait a second

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Casting a wide net so that no one will turn him in

gellaho

Would you take lobster?

FancyShark

This artist did Something Is Killing The Children!

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Man this comic would be so much cooler if it had a giant lobster attack.

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

More like Something Is Killing The Audience

Agent of Fortune

Strong bargain basement Tim Sale energy here

gellaho

I WILL NOT DRAW A FACE

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Faces killed his family.

But in the sense that its used in professional wrestling.

The artist just really misunderstood the term.

Agent of Fortune

Fuck you

gellaho

Asian Nancy Drew stepping in for one panel

FancyShark

Seriously!

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Top left panel: "Cro Magnon Nancy", bottom right, "Nancy Khan."

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Nancy Drew with her classic cons

gellaho

Introducing our hero, Nancy Drew using the Hardy Boys for her own devices

FancyShark

I have to assume the artist did not want to do this, because the artwork here is dogshit compared to Something Is Killing The Children

gellaho

Because in this universe, everyone loves Nancy Drew and she will use that to manipulate them

But she is still the good guy

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Nonsense, just look at those bloated ankles stuffed into those boots

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Its a noir story so it needs a deceitful woman and Nancy is practically the only choice.

gellaho

The three seen here as ugly children

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

George and Bess arent smart enough to manipulate anyone, they believe anything.

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Something is Caricaturing the Children

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

That's not how a magnifying glass works, artist. I know you dont wanna be here but cmon.

gellaho

"Buh"

FancyShark

Every case in that cave

gellaho

TRAGEDY FOR EVERYONE

gellaho

I AM A SERIOUS ARTIST

Brendan

Which one of these kids is the Avatar again? Tom?

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

I think its Trunbus.

Brendan

I think I gotta bounce. I can't read any of these on a laptop screen, and they've got me doing Avengers today, which is like 90 tags per scene, and SO MANY scene changes.

gellaho

Carson seems to have aged forty years in the time it took Nancy to age ten

FancyShark

Sheeeit. Good luck, @Brendan ! We'll miss you!

Brendan

Happy Fentoning!

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

It's been a stressful life

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Ten years hits a grown man harder than a kid.

It's like dog years.

gellaho

One of the many faces of George

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Cute, but not as good as enby George.

gellaho

Oh, wait, here's were all the age hits Nancy

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Diarrhea is like a storm, raging inside you.

FancyShark

Invasion of privacy. The mark of true friendship.

gellaho

Then she invades her father's privacy

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

"I found his stash of donkey show videos. Good thing I was wearing the Heavy Stress line of eyeshadow."

gellaho

MORE TRAGEDY

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Nancy are you about to blame your mom dying of being sick on your parents relationship problems?

FancyShark

Carson's model train addiction destroyed this family

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Because people just die of illness, its not really a matter of willpower, Nancy.

You need some grief counselling.

gellaho

The artist cannot choose a way to draw Carson

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Hahahahha he looks like Colonel Sanders Who Fucks.

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

The Blue Comet was worth it though

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

This is straight up Captain Nemo from the Disney movie.

FancyShark

There's an argument to be made that willpower can help. But not if your husband has already made little trees for the little countryside.

gellaho

That can't possibly be the facial expression you wanted to draw

FancyShark

"Now CLENCH"

gellaho

No, this is serious art for adults

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

GIF

gellaho

Nobody can take loss well

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Saving this for emoji purposes

gellaho

They must go on benders

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Pooping

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

They must.

gellaho

Because this author clearly understands the Nancy Drew character

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

No that is what most teens would do.

You're completely right about that Nancy.

gellaho

Valedictorian, mystery solver cannot stomach death

Or her father not responding to emails

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Now dump that weird square you were dating and hook up with a guy in his mid 20s who owns a convertible and sells weed behind the high school.

gellaho

Which is what this is actually about

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Then the teen grief cycle will be complete.

gellaho

Hey, The Rover Boys anyone?

gellaho

Why aren't you appreciating this Stratemeyer Syndicate Avengers!?

These characters everybody knows

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Girl on the bottom right stepped right out of a 70s Master of Kung Fu issue.

gellaho

"They can finger anybody."

FancyShark

This took a turn

gellaho

It's called diversity

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

I really hate when I have to get the person who murdered my father fingered.

gellaho

Anthony really wants you to know how cool he is

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

GIF

gellaho

"You haven't seen Casino Royale, right? I didn't steal this"

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Surely there's an inciting incident at the end of #2 in the series

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Hahahaha Nancy, you obviously need some things explained to you if you think that just because they murdered their dad they're now going to be fine going to some kind of mob poker game.

gellaho

Now, consider Joe's balls

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

That's really a mean thing to say to Joe, his balls were liquified by all the car bombs.

gellaho

Sporty

FancyShark

Artist trying very hard to not get offensive again

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

If theres one thing criminals trust implicitly, its two teen detectives accused of murder.

gellaho

"I can't be racist, I made a bunch of the characters black!"

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Something Is Woking The Bayfield

gellaho

A myriad of litanies

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

To be fair, this depiction of a black guy is nearly up to the standards of the time the Punisher got plastic surgery to look like a black dude and hung out with Luke Cage.

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

It would have been so much better if this plot centered around a seedy back room DnD campaign.

FancyShark

Dead Ale Wives comic when

gellaho

Well, these panels go in some kind of order

gellaho

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

I feel a strong need to send a copy of Understanding Comics to someone.

FancyShark

What's more exciting than watching people play poker without seeing their cards? READING about it

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Joe's Joeder sense is tingling.

It detects hamburgers in a radius of nearly a mile.

gellaho

Consider Joe's balls again

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Boy the writer really wanted us to think about a 19 year olds balls.

FancyShark

This is going to end with Joe going full tanuki on the rest of the cast

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

hello

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

GIF

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

goodbye

gellaho

Cheating to get four of a kind is a great way to get kneecapped, Nancy

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Love you! Have a nice day!

gellaho

No matter how many piercings and beanies you now have

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Who's Steve Jobs?

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Always a great con when you blurt out that you're giving yourself the best cards the second you lose a hand

gellaho

NO FACES

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Real experienced raconteur stuff

Lost your mind?

Or your mind???

FancyShark

Ricky looks vampiric

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

Wow if I tagged brendan with this would that count as a prank or just abuse?

FancyShark

He had to leave to timestamp Avengers

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

RICKY Goes to Poker Night!

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

All of these panels are going to be reused for the edgy Top Cow vampire comic the artist is going to draw.

gellaho

Now, just to look up what the Rover Boys were

gellaho

Not sure you nailed that, Anthony

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Huh.

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

flirtatious huh? Are military boarding schools coed?

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

No, not getting "military boarding school pranks and shenanigans." from these.

FancyShark

Underground gambling. So mischievous!

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

It could be recency bias but old school Rover Boys almost sounds interesting comparatively

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

No the troops are afraid of girls.

gellaho

Translated that into mafia that beats the shit out of each other for smalltime poker games

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

They got cooties, sarge!

FancyShark

Hey, there's the flirting!

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Boy they are really kicking the hell out of Sam. He's gonna be pissing red at this rate.

FancyShark

So wacky!

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

jesus boys, take bets on sports or something, this is just sad

gellaho

Joe tells them Nancy cheated, for some reason

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Figures. Shit goes south, blame the woman. Classic noir bullshittery.

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

You really could scrub the text and turn this into a solid Vampire: The Masquerade comic.

gellaho

Which, for some reason, makes them not upset about the unauthorized poker game

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

That's.. not the best way to demonstrate motion

gellaho

NOT OUR BOAT!

FancyShark

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Its doing it on the boat that really offends the pride.

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Oh shit, Tintin's here too!

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

It doesn't look like he flippd the table in anger, it looks like he just placed it a momemt ago

gellaho

You remember that lobster thing, right?

gellaho

From the beginning?

FancyShark

The thing that was better drawn than any of the people?

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

I know that facial expression

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Is this when Nancy pulls a gun and starts blasting?

gellaho

Collect all the virgins

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

She's trying to figire out where she left her keys

gellaho

We have defeated The Big Lie #2

FancyShark

We are tearing through these

gellaho

Onto #3

gellaho

These things are filled with fucking ads

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Nancy Drew key party

FancyShark

hahaha, what the hell happened to the artwork?

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

The face replacement really got me on this one.

gellaho

And I mean, they do look terrible and all

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Now they're doing 70s retro-futuristic?

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Hey, you got your Phantom in my Spider-Man Noir!

FancyShark

Spiderbatmanspirit vs Legally Distinct Hulk

gellaho

Ran out of people

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

The ads are likely entirely for comics that had like five issues and at least thirty or fourty different variant covers.

gellaho

FancyShark

No notes

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Every panel a painting

gellaho

Time for Joe's perspective

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Not what I'd be thinking staring down the barrel of a gun, but I dont think im kinda smart.

FancyShark

lol, that makes the first bit even funnier

gellaho

Frank out here trying to get murdered

FancyShark

Frank talked to Pablo Escobar the same way

gellaho

ACTION RECTANGLES

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

Hm. I had dangerous conflict de-escalationtraining today. This tactic was not covered.

gellaho

Gun safety is important

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Well he deescalated from gunplay to regular ass beating so I guess thats kind of a success.

FancyShark

Until they bring out the saw

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Also Joe out there doing a "No, I didnt admit anything."

Mordred, Nuclear Werewoof ☢🐺

Yeah, scratch your chin with the barrel, that's smart.

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

No triggerguard on that thing either looks like

gellaho

We cheated you not to cheat you but to show we could cheat you. That's cool, right?

FancyShark

This conversation is going to end with three gunshots and three duffel bags being dumped in the harbor

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Lol the old "We scammed you to prove how good we are at scamming, now trust us to scam FOR you."

gellaho

That damn eye thief is back at it again

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

yeah alwaysmake the angry man with a gun feel that you're talking down to him, great move

FancyShark

Hard drives?

Crap, we're gonna see bodies getting torn to shreds

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Better move: Get the obviously watched by cops guys to do your illegal activities, because theres no way they could rat you out for immunity or a lighter sentence.

That never happens.

FancyShark

Good point. We better promote them.

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

In no time the Hardy boys and Nancy are handling cocaine distribution for the entire east coast.

gellaho

Can you tell which character the artist is most interested in drawing?

FancyShark

Soda, obviously

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Joe, you should be grateful, because in this situation, its pretty likely he accepted that apology because he wants to collect her feet.

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

has the regrettable three-way not happened yet?

FancyShark

Frank always struck me more as the kind of serial killer who would take a human body apart just to see how it worked

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

"The Bayport DaVinci Killer has struck again! Police are baffled!"

FancyShark

Nope. Almost got everyone murdered, though!

FancyShark

"Jesus Christ, it's another Callie Shaw. Fifth one this week."

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

There's a regrettable three way?

gellaho

You know how it's pitch black in cars during the daytime?

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

More to the point, there's a three way you don't regret?

gellaho

Hands

FancyShark

Guess the pistol whipping solved their personal problems

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

Have the aged up pony pals made an appearance yet? I expect they're thotting around on motorcycles

FancyShark

Hands with 800% more detail than the faces

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Fingers like French fries

gellaho

The intense shadows of the family dining room

FancyShark

"If you hadn't driven him to suicide. Wash the dishes when you're done."

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

😘

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

That is so fucking smug AND sinister.

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

This is the expression of a person who has nudes of dead people and a combat knife in his desk drawer.

gellaho

"cool"

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

If he didn't kill their dad he definitely killed the other thirty bodies stashed in the crawlspace.

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

Shadows are great because they cover things you would otherwise have to draw and they can appear anywhere any time for no reason

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

NOTHING HAS HAPPENED YET.

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

"I dont like coffee. Its yucky and bitter."

gellaho

Apparently legible writing is very hard

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

"And it gets everywh-AIEEEE!"

gellaho

FancyShark

"Larry, the lettering on the car's a bit-"

"Fuck you. Fuck YOU!"

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

This comic is what you get when you play too much Max Payne and go pill for pill with Max.

gellaho

The Bayport Police operate using hotel keycards

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

Lmao

FancyShark

"Criminal thing" he says, doing the same shit they do whenever they work a case

gellaho

Nancy's got her clown makeup on for hacking

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Bayport police got all their security ideas from Doom.

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

I've been through a lot of police stations for a lot of different reasons but the keycards are new.

FancyShark

Wait till you see the skull keys

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

The cacodaemons are a good deterrent tho

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Police Chief Cyberdemon will now make a statement.

gellaho

Police procedure is to send everyone out to one burglary. Especially when the computers have suspiciously stopped working

FancyShark

Mayberry had better cops than this

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Oh "burglary" is just a euphemism. They called in an active shooter threat to the high school.

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

the nazi stuff wasn't a deal breaker for some reason

gellaho

"We'll just allow any member of Geek Squad in the Precinct, sure"

FancyShark

It hid the treasure rooms!