94.1: The Big Lie Anthony Del Col & Werther Dell'Edera

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Mayor Icon of Sin thought it would be fine.

gellaho

"Can you help me figure out how to use this mouse?"

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Geek Squad can get you into a surprising amount of places, to be fair.

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

Although a police department having hilariously bad IT does feel true to life

Ramb$ne

Administrative mime assistant

gellaho

Joe ass shot for everyone

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Flatter than this shading

FancyShark

"Joe? Remember, the circuits aren't candy. Joe? JOE?!"

gellaho

Let there be dark

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

"Dark. Shadowy. Like our souls...."

gellaho

A back door joke for everyone

FancyShark

$5 says that was the line the writer was most proud of

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Long noir monologue about darkness

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

door opens

let there be dork

gellaho

Snap goes the hard drives

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Nancy should punch him in the dick as she goes by.

FancyShark

How could their idiotic plan with countless ways to go wrong have gone wrong?

gellaho

They just let random attorneys take things from the evidence room unattended, right?

FancyShark

hahahaha

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

we have to pinky promise not to tamper with the evidence first

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Having trauma flashbacks about the time I head a component make a snap sound when I took it out.

FancyShark

You forgot Nancy's dad prosecuted your dad?

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

I mean Pheonix Wright did the same thing and it would never give me an inaccurate impression of the criminal justice system

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

The Hardy's dad can beat up Nancy's dad tho so it balances out.

FancyShark

Like hearing the hammer on a gun click. Or at least the same effect.

gellaho

Such suspense

gellaho

"ol' san antone" jakesy

They don't do leg day in the Geek Squad apparently

Ramb$ne

On the west coast they're the Carl's Jr. Boys

"ol' san antone" jakesy

No cake in that break room

FancyShark

"And there aren't any cameras here, so we can relax"

gellaho

Great

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

stellar joke hambone doll

FancyShark

Case closed

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

"Like fourty copies of ARMA 3 and something called "Akiba Maid War Mod: Top Secret."

gellaho

Ramb$ne

Oh that's the one with no shoes

gellaho

Dundundrugs

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

No shit tho, an ARMA 3 Akiba Maid War mod would be pretty lit.

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

My god. They're smuggling cracked Switch cartridges.

The crime makes them taste better.

Ramb$ne

That's just Limon 7

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Who could have foreseen that the video games were actually not video games

Ramb$ne

Look how tiny her hand is on the right

FancyShark

Meanwhile, us tech dweebs are going "YOU'RE GOING TO DAMAGE THE PLATTERS!"

Ferrodaywatch NIGHTS

oh fuck off you cannot hide drugs inside a hard drive like that without compromising its ability to be used like a hard drive

FancyShark

See?

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Also what could be worse than drugs?

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

sobriety

FancyShark

Human trafficking?

Harder to pull off with hard drives tho

Ferrodaywatch NIGHTS

weirdly restrained for this "gritty" reboot that it's not CP or like, murder victim photos or something

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

only trafficking like .1% of a human at a time?

FancyShark

They've still gotta sell to a large market

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

It's dark and twisted but it's not like sick or anything, that's just gross

FancyShark

"This shipment is all toes and nostrils"

gellaho

Just to identify the insane range on advertising here, you have both this

gellaho

But also this

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

That would be a pretty cool premise for a sci fi story, a criminal syndicate who freeze dries people into a powder form for transport and you just add water to reconstitute them.

FancyShark

That's way too adorable to be in the same book as this- wait, boobs

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Bettie Page is a national treasure, so I'll allow it.

Ramb$ne

That was a batman film starting Adam west

gellaho

We have defeated The Big Lie #3

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Interior art? More like posterior art

gellaho

Moving on to #4

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

The Big Lie was that this series would be worth purchasing

Ramb$ne

The joker had a machine that turned people into a wettable powder and kidnapped world leaders

FancyShark

Getting closer to a real Hardys cover

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Her lies just keep getting bigger

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Consistent art styles? What are those?

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

yeah i remember that batman too

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

My Big Fat Greek Lie

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Shit, I knew I could have written for that show.

gellaho

A man sits in a room

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

I think thw riddler was in there somewhere

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

You know, when Dara O'Briain did this, it was captivating.

Not so much here.

gellaho

Your lovely heroes come with golf clubs

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

Now there's FORE of them

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Modern golf clubs arent that good for beating ass with, they tend to be made of graphite and bend.

You want the steel ones at least.

FancyShark

They're using the 2 iron? I'd use the pitching wedge

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Eeven then, they're expensive.

gellaho

Nose, do you get it? Nose? Nose!

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Looks like Ping G425s

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

A man noses! A slave obeys!

"ol' san antone" jakesy

The notch at the heel of the club gives it away

FancyShark

It only took one tap before he gave in, which gives them -2 on this hole

gellaho

The dark web

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Product placement? In my Nancy Drew Hardy Boys crossover comic?!

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Lol the shadow only hitting their faces

"Drawing sucks"

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Drawing this does, clearly

gellaho

Faces are hard

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

Worse than drugs? drugs

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

This is a stupid fucking plan to move drugs.

Probably thought of by someone who doesnt know how you smuggle drugs.

FancyShark

The style is a giveaway it's the same artist as SIKTC, but the inconsistency really screams they're doing this under duress

gellaho

Emotions are hard to express

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Wait i got it, they were planning on destroying the drugs and collecting

THE INSURANCE MONEY

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Drawing with a golf club to their head

FancyShark

IT'S ALWAYS THE INSURANCE MONEY!

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Beat his ass Joe.

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

It really fits as little product as possible into the smallest possible spaces

While having enormous overheads

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Honestly, selling used hard drives would be more profitable.

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Yes but undetectable. Nerds never take apart hard drives

gellaho

Maybe wipe that disgusted look off your face before trying to get information

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

The exact face i make when a man asks me for directions

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Nancy looking more femme fatale in every panel that goes by.

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

exact

gellaho

They retreat to go... stand on a lake?

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Why is she sleeping with a floodlight

FancyShark

Beating with golf clubs then seducing the pulped remains is the new dating advice from Vogue

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

I think maybe Nancy has her "gentle male persuasion" and "dead parent" faces mixed up, judging from earlier

Ramb$ne

I was hoping it'd be a femme ferral

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Drawing backgrounds, also hard

FancyShark

They wrote a Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew mystery with less mystery than an average episode of NCIS

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

If it wasnt impossible I'd start to think this comic was drawn by an AI.

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

And way less eroticism

gellaho

gellaho

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Hahaha are they writing all of this backwards?

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Ok this page suggests the AI drawing theory is not out of play yet

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

That's literally the only way this can make sense for a through the table perspective shot

gellaho

FancyShark

PUNCHES <---> OUCH?

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Is this what gooning is?

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

GIF

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

--->BLING

gellaho

FancyShark

"Not now, Joe"

"ol' san antone" jakesy

Ok so they decided to join the klan

gellaho

General Jack Smith, I am

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Tom Swift not available for comment at press time

FancyShark

Would you, could you on a train?

gellaho

General Jack Smith with his... conch shell?

gellaho

Yes, prohibition

FancyShark

With this chalupa, I name this city Bayport

gellaho

It's not like the Hardy Boys were written during that time or anything

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Seen here shortly before he got crushed with a rock by the naughty boys on the island

FancyShark

What a cesspool of corruption with its beer and its smuggling teabags of DRUGS in computers

gellaho

How long did you think prohibition lasted?

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Hazardous.

No predicate. In fact, no subject.

FancyShark

Haphazardous

gellaho

Twenty year old gangsters love Abbot and Costello

FancyShark

Silver Sable cameo

gellaho

"Speaking of faces: what are those?"

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Incredible casting choice, to staff this entire comic with faceless goons

FancyShark

"I'm already a criminal. Might as well ask teens about their sex lives."

gellaho

Gangsters live for sitcom hijinks

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

shadows are attractes to faces

gellaho

To be fair, I'm pretty sure he's also supposed to be a teen

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

A bit late to be trying to mix in comedy, eh

gellaho

Nailed it

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Someone snuck the top half of Ian McShanes face onto this teen crimelord.

FancyShark

"Clearasil, amirite teens?"

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

GIF

gellaho

DON'T MOVE

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

U Can't Nancy Me

FancyShark

"I just realized that this was incredibly obvious"

gellaho

... INSTEAD BUY OUR SEMI-PORNOGRAPHIC COMICS

FancyShark

So many of Dynamite's titles are barely not porn

gellaho

Good a time as any to practice watercolors

gellaho

There is something horrific in the back of this. Not porn, but real bad

FancyShark

Counterpoint

gellaho

Time for Joe to perform some elven magicks

gellaho

They are really trying to sell that hard in here

Along with the children's books and pornography

FancyShark

lol

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Children love pornography, they wont let you say it but its true.

FancyShark

I have the collections of the Army of Darkness ones. They're really good, but the density of ads is insane

gellaho

Must be magic, because I don't know what's happening here

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Clearly he can conjure fire.

gellaho

The hell is going on

FancyShark

I think Joe found a secret door?

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

✅ Kicked Down a Door

FancyShark

Rumrunner tunnel shenanigans

So great when you cover everything in shadow

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Rumrunnel, if you will

gellaho

The square hole turning into a manhole cover

gellaho

THERE IS ONE WAY.

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Something is Squaring the Circles

gellaho

They seem very worried

FancyShark

Dutching the hell out of that angle

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

somebody wake up the cameraman.

gellaho

Who?

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

GIF

FancyShark

It's "The Doctor"

gellaho

Not sure why Nancy is leading this, but sure

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

It would have genuinely been a better twist if it had been Chet

gellaho

And dead

FancyShark

Great eulogy

This is still no higher a body count than a normal Hardy Boys story

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Oh, he just spilled india ink on his wifebeater. Don't be so dramatic.

FancyShark

Nancy, why did you think "To be continued..."

gellaho

So, are you ready for The Worst Thing?

FancyShark

hoo boy, okay

gellaho

I can almost guarantee you aren't

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Oh I can hardly wait

gellaho

Remember this was 2017

FancyShark

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

HA

FancyShark

DYNAMITE, WHAT HAF THOU WROUGHT

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

A Team Up That Makes So Much Sense!

gellaho

We have defeated The Big Lie #4

gellaho

Moving right along to The Big Lie #5

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

*Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys may contain little to no Nancy Drew.

👽 Sexual Trash Ninja Mo

I can't believe grumpy cat was assassinated with a crossbow at a book signing

FancyShark

That's a glam rock album cover, minus the hair

gellaho

And now: some bullshit Hardy Boys ancestry.com

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Just straight up tracing H P Lovecraft photos now

Mordred, Nuclear Werewoof ☢🐺

He was a cop and bootlegger at what, 14?

FancyShark

Average lifespan was like 17, so probably

gellaho

Owen Hardy tragically never learned how to use a gavel

gellaho

So edgy

gellaho

EDGY

FancyShark

In a normal Hardy Boys book, we'd be on the third car chase or fourth explosion by now

gellaho

Somebody really needed to catch that eye burglar

gellaho

It's noir, OK? That means boring

FancyShark

"Got your nose", the gritty reboot

gellaho

Time for punching

FancyShark

hahaha

Punches so huge the pages CANNOT CONTAIN THEM

gellaho

Joe's erect

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

CRUN

WHI

gellaho

Is it too late to take it all back? Joe thinks as he continues punching

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

WHUM

gellaho

Or Frank is thinking that

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

Another graduate from the Frank Miller school of onomatopoeia

FancyShark

[punch]

"Sorry."

[punch]

"Sorry."

[punch]

"Sorry."

gellaho

Very confusing because it's showing Joe for most of that

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

featuring Gurge Muchael

FancyShark

I think it's Joe?

Him being an idiot does explain why he'd question if he should take it back while he keeps punching

That's textbook Joe

gellaho

See, noir means black so I can put as much of it wherever I want

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

beautiful, i love that this comic series takes place on the plane of shadow

FancyShark

Now I'm getting deja vu from the last crossover comic we read

gellaho

Ah, the vast darkness of daytime

FancyShark

Starting to think the artist did this on a dare

gellaho

Have you ever thought about that, man?

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

He sure did this on something

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

black ink owned a controlling interest in the publisher

gellaho

He did not return for the second one

FancyShark

No, but the writer did!

gellaho

Great

gellaho

Oh, he certainly did

Rachel, 2-Ded Krew

...

FancyShark

BLIZZ

Badger, Gun-Tutting Cardinal

GIF

gellaho

Legs

FancyShark

Bayonetta had less leg than Nancy

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Well that is certainly three ways to draw legs.

gellaho

The eternal blackness of the bookstore

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

More ass tho, Nancy looks like her legs are directly connected to her ribs.

FancyShark

At this point, why not just say there's an eclipse?

gellaho

The postcard drives Joe insane

gellaho

I'm assuming, otherwise I don't know what that angle is about

FancyShark

You know you've hit rock bottom when you consider shoplifting a postcard

Sex Bologna Flippant Sausage

Man, imagine, someone got PAID to make this.

gellaho

Ooh, the Tom Swift background