102: PSI/Net Billy Dee Williams & Rob MacGregor

#1 PSI/Net

Tags: The Year of Pain
With former Air Force Major Trent Calloway's marriage ruined in the aftermath of his psychic spying, he wants to forget about his past, especially the tragedy that changed his life when he was involved in a government remote-viewing project.

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gellaho

The Book Cage: Episode 102 - PSI/Net

The second in the "Books Written Black Sci-Fi Actors Who Worked on Star-titled projects," it's Billy Dee Williams' (and Rob MacGregor's) PSI/Net. A book featuring psychic warfare, the CIA, Native American mysticism, drugs, and white supremacist militias. And that's just the first two chapters. Watch as Billy Dee Williams steps on every conceivable landmine this Friday, 5pm eastern.

gellaho
gellaho

Special thanks to @Fatamatician: The Curator for sending me this book for incarceration.

FancyShark

Hooooo boy

Fatamatician: The Curator

Glad I could provide

gellaho

Coming up on the top of the hour, it's PSI/Net by Billy Dee Williams. No preview, so instead enjoy some effusive praise.

FancyShark

Setting the bar pretty high with all those quotes

gellaho

Apparently one of Billy Dee's children is named "Dee." And another is named "Hanako Anne"

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At least he has a theme going.

FancyShark

PSYCHIC NET! LET'S GOOOOOO!

gellaho
gellaho

Glorious start

Time to begin the process

Brendan

HERE

WE

GO

on a run, because I've been a big lazy boy all day following 40 hours of consciousness

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It's like BloodNet but without an RPG attached.

Brendan

back soon? Back soon. Catch me up.

gellaho

Thursday begins with white water rafting

FancyShark

Hi, @gellaho ! Hi, @Premium Apeshine FlippantSausage ! Hi and bye and then hi when you get back, @Brendan !

I sense a killing spree in Sam's future

gellaho

We meet our main character angrily leading a corporate retreat

gellaho

PSI/Net!

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Action packed corporate bickering!

FancyShark

This is so Trent

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Thrill as the main character fantasizes about deliberately crashing a raft into jagged rocks.

gellaho

Interesting word choices from Billy Dee

FancyShark

Witness as the lead character regrets his life choices!

Brendan

this was the '90s? It was a period of flux.

Me, I call people whatever they want to be called no matter how often it changes, except that one weird guy on my run last summer who shouted at me to call him a racial slur.

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Man living in a thing you pulled behind a truck is like one step up from just being a dude in a tent in a park, I wasnt expecting it to get this sad this quick.

Brendan

Anyway, time to go for a jog like the CANCELED that I am.

gellaho

Art falls out again, but Trent gets distracted by some Native American hallucinations

FancyShark

Art is dragged away screaming by a sasquatch while Trent looks at some people who aren't thrilled to see him

gellaho

Only took 6 pages to get to the weirdness

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Nobody in the 90s could resists psychic visions of Native Americans.

FancyShark

We don't need to keep a bingo card of stereotypes, do we?

Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃

Oh crap no I forgot it's Friday. I have a chapter to proofread and dinner to make. RELEASE ME, SIREN.

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It was in every single show I ever watched.

FancyShark

Hi, @Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃 !

gellaho

Nevermind that though, marvel as a middle aged man struggles with his weight!

Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃

Hot damn now I'm hungry

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

I'm getting kent montana deja vu and I don't like it

FancyShark

Hi, @Ferroday Plays Both Sides !

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I dont know why I expected like thrilling psychic combat or something.

gellaho

Well, luckily this isn't supposed to be funny

The male menopause thing

FancyShark

The sleep and bathroom stuff is also part of aging, you coward

Embrace your mortality

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Gordon better live a secret double life of thrilling psychic combat or be about to get got by psychic assassins or something.

FancyShark

Chapter better end with him smeared all over the floor, wall and ceiling like in Akira

gellaho
gellaho

The well-paying job of "futurist"

FancyShark

The only people not concerned with coming events are the Fonz

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When someone refers to themselves as a futurist and mentions their military service record you could absolutely have saved time by shortening it to "asshole"

gellaho

He expects this speech to change the nation

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

that page had so much "future" in it that the word is losing meaning

FancyShark

If that story gets a laugh, that crowd will laugh at anything

gellaho

That's how you know it's a great speech

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A better question would be "What good is thinking about the future if nobody does anything about the things that might happen?" or "Who let you in here?"

FancyShark

Saying "who needs the future?" should put you on suicide watch

gellaho

Alright, so time to set up some whiplash. Look at this paragraph and try to imagine what the next sentence might be

FancyShark

"Let's focus on the past to build a future we desire" or something

gellaho

Flawless segue

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Lol

FancyShark

Damn, so close

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I was going to say something about using space lasers to decrease the surplus population, I was way off.

FancyShark

"Let's eat the Swedes" was my next guess

gellaho

Remote viewers

FancyShark

He has a lot of faith in military secrets being allowed to broadcast without oversight

gellaho

I hope you appreciate deliberate vaguery

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Oh sweet, I love me some MKUltra gibberish.

gellaho

You are in for a treat

But, before that, Maxwell gets a fun prank

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Hell yeah, treats.

FancyShark

General Eugene Levy!

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lol "billfold" is one of those words like "davenport" that I use to identify someone born in a specific time period.

gellaho

General George Wiley

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Doctor General George Wiley, roboticist.

gellaho

Do you think he's the bad guy?

FancyShark

"General, can I please have my rice pilaf and kielbasa on texas toast?"

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Has a real feud with Doctor Reverend Colonel James Light.

gellaho

I mean, it might be a little too subtle

How can Billy and Rob really spell out that he's evil?

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Maybe he's wanted for being based as hell?

gellaho

Ah, here we go

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Nope.

FancyShark

He's a Steven Seagal villain

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Wow that is.......a complicated rap sheet.

FancyShark

Still not as deadly as the Rythm Nation

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Now to be fair, the only thing I think he's done wrong is sexual battery.

Killing militia members is Americas favorite pastime and should be encouraged.

gellaho

You might want to read that a little more carefully

FancyShark

The leading of a white separatist group isn't really okay

gellaho

Hey, look, Billy will help. Let him really spell it out

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I guess I read "Murder charges in the death of men involved in milita" as "Did murder them"

LyraV

I saw Billy Dee Williams, I'm in.

FancyShark

Hi, @LyraV !

We're meeting the cartoonishly evil bad guy!

gellaho

Then, a bizarrely complementary section about the racist rapist

FancyShark

"Looking swole, Grand Wizard"

gellaho

Anyway, back to Trent

FancyShark

hahaha

The framing makes it sound like he's parked right next to the boy scouts and is just day drinking while they go about their business

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

Ahhh, I miss Grandpa.

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Would explain the visions of Native Americans he was having earlier.

gellaho

Trent thinks back to how good it felt to try and kill Art. Only momentarily, of course, before he thinks back to the one time an old Native American man walked up to him and gave him vague advice

FancyShark

lol

LyraV

Always ask the river if your outfit looks alright.

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

why does every paragraph read like someone's paraphrasing an Alex Jones rant

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Instructions unclear, got my dick stuck in some river rock.

gellaho

You could try and guess what happens when he asks the river

FancyShark

Does it throw a fish at him?

gellaho

Not quite

A lightning bolt gives him a phone number

LyraV

Ghost mermaid

gellaho

That makes sense, right?

FancyShark

Oh shit. Woodsy the Owl is worthy of the power of Thor!

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Oh god, no. Never call a number you got from a lightning bolt, thats how you end up fucked by a swan.

gellaho

Well, not quite a phone number of course

FancyShark

A few minutes later, another lightning bolt with the area code

gellaho

But a phone number in the vein of 1-900-HOTDOG

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

Reminds me of the time a lightning bolt sent me a message:

867-5309

LyraV

You got it!

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Rivers might never lie but they sure as fuck are cryptic to the point of uselessness.

gellaho

This lightning bolt reminds him of the time he got struck by lightning

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Its why I use turtle shells for all my divination needs.

FancyShark

Oh no, the lightning came back to finish the job!

gellaho

You getting an idea of how weird this book is, yet?

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Sweet.

FancyShark

Yeah. If I'm reading it right, BDW threw every passing neat idea he had onto the page and called it a novel

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We're in for a full on mystical journey y'all.

Gonna open the doors of perception.

gellaho

Oh, and that earlier lightning strike gave him psychic powers

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

I hope we're in for at least two or three more mystical native americans

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

so far this appears to be a bunch of people remembering cool shit, hallucinating racist stereotypes, and winning shower arguments with a fake audience

FancyShark

Also, hi, @Rachel, Godhead Aspect !

gellaho

Billy thought he'd just throw his psychic origins in willy nilly

"This lightning strike reminds me of that time I got struck by lightning and got psychic powers. Crazy, right? Anyway...

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

Hello darling!

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Cool, did he meet George Clooney and kill a goat with his mind powers?

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

like a Family Guy sketch but more racist

FancyShark

"You think yourself above humanity, Wiley, because you gave yourself psychic powers. But my powers were bestowed by the gods themselves!"

gellaho

Nut brown skin

FancyShark

The same Navajo man wanders into his room.

"Lightning is filled with deceit."

Then he leaves again.

gellaho

Oh, right, my secret life of six digit numbers

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

seriously, this is like you strung together every new age idea you half-remembered into a single semi-coherent plotline

FancyShark

Every time he encountered math, he considered using his knowledge of flight. He was an odd man.

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Bud if you didnt stop Bobby Aimes' heart with your mind powers you are wasting your thoughts.

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

any crystals yet?

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

they'll show up at some point

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And LSD.

FancyShark

Holding out hope for a Psi-Man twist

gellaho

Now a bunch of details without explanation

FancyShark

Oh, is that what "protocol" means? Thank you

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

it doesn't count as world-building if you haven't given us a foundation to build on

gellaho

And now random pillars speak to him

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Cool, cool, I love hearing in minute but yet vague detail how someone activates their most boring psychic abilities.

infinite tempest jakesy

He sank into The Zone, this is a thing that needs explanation

Nobody has ever used that phrase before

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And yes, remote viewing is one of the most boring psychic abilities you can have, dont @ me.

gellaho

Now let's speed run Trent's backstory

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

Every clairvoyant is a voyeur, don't @ me

infinite tempest jakesy

It's right there in the name!

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For additional fun, imagine he isnt using an outdated term for pre-settler colonial inhabitants of the Americas and is referring to people from Inda.

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

That actually is very funny

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He's getting his instructions from a dude named Sandeep from New Delhi.

infinite tempest jakesy

There's voy-ing going on all over the place

gellaho

They love Kokopelli

Which is a detail I skipped over earlier

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

It's his psychic tech support hotline

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

honestly given the mystification behind a lot of religious shit in India it'd be about on par with the mystification of native american tribal beliefs

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I kind of assumed Kokopelli would crop up, it was a Thing amongst the boring new age housewives of the 90s.

gellaho

This seems like a great spy program. I'm sure learning this in the context of his wife isn't going to be relevant

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

we get it trent, you're a method actor

infinite tempest jakesy

He thought the drug dealers were so cool he wanted to act like them

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Man imagine being so bad at marriage you cant even keep a partner when you can read minds and can be psychically empathic.

infinite tempest jakesy

Get a load of Billy Day Lewis over here

gellaho

Oh, right, that time he got possessed by Saddam

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

....Trent, are you actually psychic or are you suffering under paranoid schizophrenia

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

He can read minds but he still can't understand women

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I kind of miss Saddam Hussein. Putin just isnt as funny a dude.

infinite tempest jakesy

Lol the ol' George W defense

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

Whenever I threaten NP with a knife I blame it on Saddam Hussein

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

certainly a less entertaining romance author

gellaho

But, nevermind that. Time for him to wackily step on a beer can

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

Calloway is visited by Amanda Waller

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Yeah Putin has never even once penned a book where he makes sweet love to the concept of Russia.

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

The real villain of this book is littering

gellaho

Pillows of flesh

infinite tempest jakesy

Chicle

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Oh cool, Amanda Waller showed up.

infinite tempest jakesy

Lol I'm sure women love to know that you're thinking about their juggs rubbing up against you every time you hug them

gellaho

Psi-gang

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

to be fair, he alluded to her "girth" earlier, it could just be he's making fun of her weight

which also isn't great, but....I forget what point I was trying to make here

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

to be fair, is that better?

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

a lateral move at best, I think

also, psi gang? you couldn't have at least tried for a pun or something?

I mean, "brain trust" is right there, billy

infinite tempest jakesy

I'm out of touch on my 80s slang but it's hard for me to interpret flesh pillows as anything other than large bazongas

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An acronym would have been better than psi gang.

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

Theyre psigangnam style

gellaho

"Do you remember the duplicate group of psychics?"

"Yeah?"

"Okay, forget that. Do you remember the guy who cheated the lottery?"

infinite tempest jakesy

I'm not helping by calling them funbags or whatever other terrible slang for them but it's a bit now

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

this seriously reads like it's based on the supposition that everything you've heard on Coast to Coast is 100% true

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Imagine that, the military would want a backup in case the dipshits who can't predict lotto numbers fail their missions.

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

I always trusted space ghost implicitly

gellaho

I mean, it's not like they have psychic powers or something

Anyway, China

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

amazing how psychic powers in these stories seem to be both limitless and with weird boundaries at the same time, almost like it's a poorly formed yadda-yadda of an idea

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

can Chinese remote viewers only posess chinese cooks for some reason?

gellaho

"Anyway, remember that nerd we used to make fun of? He gave us goo!"

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Its funny, this book about guys doing psychic espionage is also supplying evidence psychic powers dont work.

In its own narrative, no less.

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

The Men Who Stare at Goats but dumber

infinite tempest jakesy

Lol the psychic powers only work within your race

Except when it comes to Saddam, then all bets are off

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

Why are they talking about this in Calloway's driveway, anyway

did she just stop by for a clumsy exposition dump?

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Saddam was apparently Earths mightiest psychic.

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

Just having a public chat about state secrets

gellaho

So they were being drugged because this book doesn't have enough ideas yet

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

wait, window? weren't they outside at a camp ground?

infinite tempest jakesy

Sounds like they're all suffering from Secondhand Saddam

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Oh shit, the gubmint gave its psychic spies Havana Syndrome!

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

Lady you have anxiety

gellaho

They're in his airstream

Sometimes I'll skip boring details like people walking into a camper

Henderson seems like someone to stay away from

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

I still have no idea why Boyle is here

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

He works well with Peralta

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

other than to provide backstory on a bunch of characters I doubt we're going to see

gellaho

The news of them secretly being drugged probably

infinite tempest jakesy

He's just setting the table that Remote Vision Has Consequences

gellaho

Okay, so Henderson wasn't fucking the animals. But it's still pretty weird

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

No they're crazy because the government drugged them with secret goo during blood pressure tests

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Mmmmm this is that good MKUltra shit, gimme more.

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

this sounds less like a bunch of psychic soldiers and more like a bunch of people with mental health issues that were egged on by a very irresponsible psychiatrist

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Full Havana Syndrome, I love it.

gellaho

Experience in generic profitable business

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Man imagine being such a shitty psychic you have to do fucking market research for a living with your powers.

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

psychic corporate espionage

infinite tempest jakesy

Also lol, there are entire companies that do this without superpowers, it's just market research

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Psychics replaced by social media in a couple decades.

infinite tempest jakesy

Fuck, scooped

gellaho

Maxwell is recruiting all the crazy people, and Doc thinks it's a great idea to infiltrate and get more crazy drugs

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Is this book trying to get the reader to doubt the narrative and think maybe psychics arent real and the characters are just the damaged results of various unethical government programs?

I mean I dont think that because that would be clever.

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

nothing that has happened had dissuaded me from "these are all mentally ill people suffering under a mass delusion"

gellaho

You sonofabitch, psychic Native Americans are involved!

Ferroday Plays Both Sides

I'm going to continue with that assumption until someone gets Scanners'd

infinite tempest jakesy

"Is Sandeep there in the room with you right now?"

gellaho

Sure, give the mind-hole some beer

FancyShark

Sorry, had to step away. What I miss?

infinite tempest jakesy

Tossing a six pack of beer into the hole is how I'm going to spend the rest of the night

gellaho

We're going to get some perspective shifts that will make it clear this is all real

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Metaphorical beer? Is that the kind that makes you gay?

I lose track of which brands do that.

gellaho

They were secretly given drugs that made them crazy when they were psychic spies

FancyShark

Always a smart move with psychics

FancyShark

All of them. That's right, homophobic alcoholics!

gellaho

GO TO STAGE TWO OF PILLAR WORLD

FancyShark

Are they cyclopean? How many aeons do you see?

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Would you describe them as "eldritch"?

gellaho

An attack on Washington, DC? Very original, Billy Dee

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Calloway, getting drunk and having a vision quest and seeing DC in ruins is normal.

FancyShark

Billy Dee, put down Fallout 3 and focus on the book

gellaho

BILOCATE TO STAGE THREE

infinite tempest jakesy

GIF

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AKASHIC RECORD: SEARCH!

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

Then they'd be the Men Who Stare at Scrotes

gellaho

An honest-to-God "It's too complicated to explain"

Rachel, Godhead Aspect

And that's my time, good night everybody!

FancyShark

There's only one thing to do. We must jail all the children.

gellaho

Classic Matt

FancyShark

Calloway's making this up as he goes

wait, Trent

gellaho

Let's just go see the President