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Yeah because thats something former military personnel are allowed to just do.
102: PSI/Net Billy Dee Williams & Rob MacGregor
#1 PSI/Net
Tags:
The Year of Pain
With former Air Force Major Trent Calloway's marriage ruined in the aftermath of his psychic spying, he wants to forget about his past, especially the tragedy that changed his life when he was involved in a government remote-viewing project.
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gellaho
Right on both counts
Trent Calloway
infinite tempest jakesy
Jimmy Carts is hanging out at the tastee freez, let's go hit him up
FancyShark
Ah, thank you!
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Oh shit and this is the 90s so they're going to hang out with Bill Clinton!
infinite tempest jakesy
Ok see that actually checks out
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Smoke a doobie and talk about psychic warfare.
gellaho
David Dustin
infinite tempest jakesy
GIF
gellaho
Just as the song foretold
infinite tempest jakesy
Everybody is indeed looking forward to the weekend
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Man next Friday is going to be real good or real bad depending on if Calloway can convince Not Bill Clinton that some kid named Matt has a backpack nuke.
gellaho
This is where Billy Dee decided to get goofy with the names
infinite tempest jakesy
SBrown Palace
FancyShark
Where in the World is Camila Hidalgo
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Camilla Hidalgo, a little horsey looking but everyone likes her for some reason.
gellaho
Acting spokesman for the president. That's what they call it
FancyShark
Harvey Howell would go on to fight and lose in UFC 3
Press Secretary was too hard to look up?
gellaho
Apparently
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Hahahhaha remember when being the Presidents press secretary was a Serious Job people aspired to have?
gellaho
Remember Maxwell's fantastic prediction that would make him famous?
Turns out it's something you might hear on a street corner
FancyShark
That's cute, Gordon. You know that would immediately ruin their economies, right?
gellaho
Camila prefers the kind of man who might be possessed by a dictator at any time
gellaho
gellaho
Barry does seem really smooth, though
FancyShark
Because being a part of someone's life is not something people normally do when they go on dates several times
gellaho
Not at all
Anyway, Camila follows this up by wondering if the national security advisor is gay
gellaho
I'm sure that isn't important
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Oh sweet, is this were we veer into revealing something crazy like "Billy Dee Williams believes that gay men are powerfully psychically active and also involved in a worldwide conspiracy."?
gellaho
Billy Dee and Robby Mac are here to tell you all about the Mexican-American experience
FancyShark
As conspiracies go, that is more rad than most
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"Billy Dee Williams believes that Mexican-Americans are like hyenas and leave the smaller children to starve if they cant assert dominance."
FancyShark
David Dustin is a name that screams "I think full-fat mayo is too spicy"
gellaho
Howell takes some time to look at Camila's clothing. Again, I'm sure that's not going to come up
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Dunk on her drip, Harvey.
gellaho
But, nevermind that. She gets a phone call from a tabloid about the vice president, who has a very real name
infinite tempest jakesy
There's so much foreshadowing that it's become fiveshadowing
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Booooooooo I wanted Harvey to point out her fat shins or something.
infinite tempest jakesy
Sarati Finders
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Maybe say her shoes are knockoffs.
gellaho
Very real names
FancyShark
Sarati Finders is a gnome cleric
infinite tempest jakesy
Sarati Finders is the name of an Indian travel agency
gellaho
Billy Dee Williams on Black America
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@LyraV Mitchell is Vice President in this one.
FancyShark
Sarati Finders is a discontinued office supply company
infinite tempest jakesy
Lol strong Fiscal Conservative Energy here
gellaho
You know how I said all that stuff about Howell wasn't going to come up?
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Hahahahah Billy Dee invented Obama like a good decade and a half early.
gellaho
I lied
FancyShark
lol, what
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Okay yeah whatever, does Harvey look good in a dress, tell us the things we need to know dammit.
Is Harvey's drip on point?
gellaho
Cross-dressing in a fugue state
gellaho
It's his wife's dress
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He'd have fuckin slayed for one thing, thats what would have happened.
gellaho
For the good of the nation
FancyShark
Thrill as commotions are avoided!
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Aw man I hate that for him, you cant get the best drip with a borrowed outfit.
gellaho
Let's see what further landmines Billy Dee might like to step on in Chapter 6
infinite tempest jakesy
Ah the 90s, when presidents were proper and no kinky sex stuff happened in the Oval Office
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Yeah because a dude liking frilly things is an unprecedented danger to national security, Camilla.
Certainly no directors of say, the FBI were into that kind of thing.
gellaho
You remember Matt, the future bomber?
We meet him in an ice cavern
infinite tempest jakesy
Mdark
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Matt struggles to reach his lightsaber before the wampa returns.
Podcast Reference Thrillho
Yes?
Oh, never mind
Brendan
Okay, what's the skinny?
gellaho
Matt thinks about his sexy escapades in the white supremacist militia
FancyShark
Psychic spies were poisoned in the service of their country. Our hero has foreseen a bombing in DC by a teen named Matt
infinite tempest jakesy
We're back in an idyllic time in America, the 90s, where presidents were regal and did not stain dresses I mean wear dresses
Brendan
Billy Dee warned us about incel shooter types.
gellaho
Not really
FancyShark
The national security advisor is a cross dresser
Brendan
THAT DEVIL
Wait, he sounds in touch with himself--THAT HERO
gellaho
It's going to be pretty obvious this guy fucks real soon
infinite tempest jakesy
Also there's a hot Mexican press secretary who they call the presidents spokesperson for some reason
gellaho
Ah, the many secret ice caverns and roving armies of white militias in Idaho
gellaho
That's where they grow the potatoes, in the ice caverns
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Freedom Nation sounds like a fuckin youtube channel and not so much like a militia.
Brendan
Idaho uh...does actually have that problem.
Which is a shame, because it's gorgeous and has some really cool towns.
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Oh damn, Matt is a real fuckin dipshit.
Brendan
Billy Dee gets America.
gellaho
I think you'll see Billy doesn't have a great idea of what Idaho is
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Exactly the kind of person you want to carry a backpack nuke into DC and set it off.
gellaho
He seems to think Idaho is in the arctic
FancyShark
I could go for a Beef Burke. Maybe with some salt and vinegar chips
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Caves are pretty cold sometimes, I guess, but.......I dunno if 30 year round is how that works, Billy.
FancyShark
Love the excuse "the swastika stands for discipline" when they all scattered like frightened roaches after losing
gellaho
✅ Redhead
gellaho
Just doing war games in the constantly frozen section of Idaho
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Hahahahahah yeah that is pretty spot on for white supremacist militas, they love cool sounding code phrases.
Fuckin dorks.
FancyShark
That is adorable
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Its fun that Matt clearly thinks highly of himself despite manifestly coming across as being slightly stupid.
Like hes the fascist the other fascists think is a little slow.
gellaho
OK, so, Billy still isn't sure that you get that the racist rapist Wiley is a bad guy
So he writes a very long racist speech
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hahahahah nice.
gellaho
He's also not entirely sure if you get that Matt is a moron, so he's really going to hammer that in too
gellaho
D'ya get it, yet?
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hahahahah
FancyShark
Latin was a fun language to study. It helped teach that the Romans all sounded like dorks
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Matt worrying about being easier to control while being very easy to control.
gellaho
Anyway, Billy got bored and so rushes through the next part of the plot
FancyShark
Jill, their mascot alpaca, chewed thoughtfully on some grass
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It always makes me laugh that these dipshits hold Roman civilization up as like some kind of model when it literally collapsed its own economy with slavery and shit.
Ferroday Plays Both Sides
"women are too stupid to know directions, so it's an easy lie"
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Okay to be fair, Jill IS fucking Matt.
gellaho
Sudner sending his pregnant daughter off to die, because bad guy
FancyShark
And that's how Matt learned women could get pregnant by only doing hand stuff
gellaho
Hey, leave Dennys out of this!
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Huh too bad you dont have the freedom to get an abortion in Freedom Nation, huh Matt?
gellaho
Anyway, Camila's getting ready for the president's speech
gellaho
I mean, kinda
They are going to explode in four days
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"Well maybe "love" is a strong word. I love fucking her in my camper, does that count?"
gellaho
I am very excited because you don't know where this is going
Brendan
We will learn the languages of the superior, white race in our western chauvinist nation: mediterranean empires.
gellaho
But I do
President Hippie
Brendan
"Jews will not replace us but the people encircling them shall!"
gellaho
That's not the thing I'm excited about by the way
You'll know it when you see it
Brendan
Billy Dee writes a better libcuck president than Ben Shapiro.
FancyShark
Not a high bar, but he clears it
Ferroday Plays Both Sides
president dustin walked right out of an episode of The West Wing
gellaho
Daffy Quotient
FancyShark
Granted, he eats babies
gellaho
Yesssssssssssssssss
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Eating babies is pretty quirky
FancyShark
Fuck yeah. Watchmen, baby!
gellaho
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Stop being kind of prescient, novel, I have heard about aliens enough lately.
gellaho
The Galactic Community
LyraV
The cop that sleeps with hookers? Hehe
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Okay tho it would be awesome if Joe Biden got up in front of everyone and said he mentally raw dogged and alien and everything is going to be okay.
gellaho
Yes, a metaphor, that's the ticket
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lol I love how Billy Dee imagines this announcement not being at the end of a press conference and them just moving on to like tariffs and shit.
gellaho
Meanwhile, Trent dreams of Lincoln
FancyShark
The Navajo man walks in again.
"Bobbies speak in declarations."
Leaves again.
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Suck it up Bobby, you were posessed by the psychic ghost of Stalin.
Shit happens when you are a psi spy.
Brendan
Please tell me the Navajo man is respectfully depicted.
gellaho
Trent is going to hypnotize doc into forgetting her fear of crowds
FancyShark
Of course. Or not. He literally showed up for two sentences in a flashback to tell Trent "rivers speak no lies"
gellaho
Hard to be respectful or disrespectful when you just give drive by advice
FancyShark
I'm picturing him in a sombrero to make him more fun.
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I think they're just relying on the reader to fill in what a Navajo man looks like, and in the 90s you know what that expectation was.
Socks on his hands.
Full ninja gear.
FancyShark
Sombrero, jeans, single-color t-shirt, hiking shoes
gellaho
Trent offhandedly recalls the time Maxwell prophecized they'd meet at this exact hotel. But as a silo with cattle. Or something
gellaho
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And an expression that says "I am going to turn into a hawk shortly, because this is the 90s and every Native American is Nightwolf from Mortal Kombat."
FancyShark
Meanwhile, Maxwell's been waiting at the Maryland State Fair for days
gellaho
Or maybe it was boats?
gellaho
Billy Dee can't be sure, it's not like he's writing this or something
Brendan
Have they asked him to track anything yet?
FancyShark
Trent, yes. Navajo guy, no.
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hahahah yeah imagine that. A dude running an intelligence network wanting accurate and actionable intel.
What a kidder.
gellaho
Sure, seems like something a hotel would do
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I gotta say, even if it does escalate later I really enjoy the vibe of not being sure whether these psychic spies are psychic or mentally ill.
gellaho
Maybe he'd tell her about Maxwell's house, where he makes instant coffee
FancyShark
That pickup line works more than you'd think
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Hey bud? Maybe if you killed someone at all, and were willing to no matter the circumstances, you should examine your own morality instead of blaming someone else?
gellaho
Don't look now, but the book is imploding in on itself
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Maybe you'll find killing people with your awesome mind rays is cool and feels good and it makes people think you are attractive.
gellaho
Nice
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Native Americans were always vanishing into thin air in the 90s. I dont know why exactly.
We just thought it was cool, I guess.
gellaho
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y, NIGHT!
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hahahahah I keep hearing the 24 clock sound effects in my head when these come up.
gellaho
Nestled in Camila taking questions about the aliens is a Billy Dee Typo
Brendan
Try replacing it with the L&O gong gong
gellaho
Greerd
FancyShark
Freudian Typo
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Greer..........do you know what a fucking metaphor is? Did you even pass English Lit?
Cos otherwise explain how if this was a metaphor you need further clarification that no, President Dusty didnt encounter aliens?
gellaho
She sees Trent and has an... interesting reaction
FancyShark
Then she breaks into song.
gellaho
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Camilla describes her ex in such a "Mansonesque" way.
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Guess Greer didnt get good grades.
gellaho
Camila's bizarre reactions continue
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Camilla did some of the White House Staff Complimentary Cocaine and chased it with some E.
FancyShark
The White House gas leak continues to go unreported
gellaho
It's just that easy
gellaho
Just wander over to the passing by Secret Service members
FancyShark
The next three chapters are them beating Trent with various objects
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Wait, Camila..........do you believe in psychic shit or not? Because if not then why are you taking this seriously, and if you do then why are you not VERY concerned about the president apparently having some kind of psychic contact?
gellaho
Secret Service are messy boys
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I mean all those parties in Brazil with cocaine and hookers, they probably dont have time to tidy their offices.
gellaho
Billy Dee decides this is a great opportunity to go through the plot so far
gellaho
Camila just walks in, which gives Trent time to think about "The nightclubs"
gellaho
And apparently just anybody can walk in, because here comes Maxwell
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"I told you, Maxwell, after Ghana I'd kill you if I ever saw you again."
psychic combat ensues
gellaho
The writing in this is so funny, he has to constantly explain everything with asides. Even things that have already been made clear
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Because you were all already extremely unstable and would have maybe done something like........concocted a wild theory about it?
gellaho
"Doc and I know about the drug we were given. You probably know by now that it created some adverse side effects."
That's still weird and not how a human would talk, but it'd sure make things shorter
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I love that Maxwells answer amounts to "Lol, no it didnt."
gellaho
Ah, there he is
gellaho
Gotta get ol' Adolf in there somewhere
Brendan
What if the human were given a drug that created some adverse side effects?
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Whoa whoa whoa, Billy, you didnt tell us Bobby Aimes was a pre Hitler!
gellaho
"Let us show the hu-mans what a remote viewer can do."
gellaho
I'd hope there'd be a little more spice on the dialog
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You know who DOESNT know what Bobby was doing and why? Us, the readers.
Billy, you went to all the trouble to tell us that Doc has big fat titties but not that maybe Calloway is feeling guilty because he snuffed a Hitler.
gellaho
It's intrigue!
No, wait, annoying
FancyShark
They proceed to show a camera feed
gellaho
So Trent is trying to show proof of his psychic visions to the secret service. So, of course they leave him alone in a room with Doc to do the remote viewing
gellaho
Because that's how you prove something, do it in a separate room where nobody can see
FancyShark
The Frank Dux Way
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"Dont worry, it will be equally vague and completely unhelpful."
gellaho
"I also see a statue of Paul Bunyan, and Babe the Blue Ox"
infinite tempest jakesy
Oh he's at the Minnesota/Michigan game
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I really love how its clear research was done into like the actual experiements with psychic powers and what they took away is that authority figures are credulous dipshits who will believe anything you say if you say you saw it with your psychic powers.
gellaho
"I see an impossible frozen tourist trap in Idaho. Ice caverns big enough for tourists, displays, dinosaurs, and four different militia groups"
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Cool, great detail it really helps for when that nuke goes off in two days to know "A militia in Idaho is connected somehow."
Another impressive victory for Uncle Sams Psi Pspy Psquad.
FancyShark
They begin raiding all the Burlington Coat Factory outlets
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Its hilarious that the frozen cave is the least unbelieveable thing about this scenario.
gellaho
Looked it up, this is apparently a real place
FancyShark
His full name is Chief Ask Somebody Else
gellaho
I'm sure if they would have heard of this book, they'd be thrilled with the association with white supremacy
Brendan
Well that was useful. Good thing he didn't just see trees.
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I mean if you dont like white supremacy and being connected to it dont be in Idaho.
Just move the cave is all im saying.
gellaho
Ahuh. No, I don't want any of your pamphlets
FancyShark
No amount of production will make meditation thrilling
gellaho
OK, but what does that threat actually mean
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Billy should know, death threats area lot more credible when they arent vague and anonymous.
Like the last thing you want is for your death threat to be a thinker.
gellaho
Meanwhile: Matt pretends to be an airplane
Brendan
Automatic writing! The remote viewing center is haunted by a g-g-g-GHOST!
infinite tempest jakesy
Mlike
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Calloway is still haunted by Saddam Husseins psychic projection.
Brendan
A remote battle for Matt's SOUL.
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Matt doesnt have a soul, he's from Idaho and was grown in the ground alongside his potato brothers.
gellaho
✅ Redhead
✅ Presenting
Brendan
Long walk to a redhead joke.
So...she was completely naked.
infinite tempest jakesy
HAWWWWWWKKKKKKEEEEE!
FancyShark
Possibly shoes
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Damn Jill might be both stupid AND too horny.
Brendan
This honestly tracks with my experience.
gellaho
✅ Quick shot
Brendan
Matt's got this going on and he wants to go commit psychic white supremicide?
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Oh no wonder shes so hornt up.
Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃
Wow dude
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Premature Mattjaculation.
Brendan
She sure does love sex with Matt for someone who's multi-orgasmic.
FancyShark
I guess if you're going to make a villain a suicide bomber, no reason to not make him bad at fucking
gellaho
Jill's reverse strip show makes Matt forget about her almost exploding the bomb
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Man if Matt wasnt also a white supremacist I'd say the narrative is really mean to him.
FancyShark
"Reverse strip"?
Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃
Like Discworld trolls?
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Hey Matt? Maybe if you have a bomb, dont design it in such a way that it can explode if you give it a casual pat. Or maybe dont leave it under YOUR FUCKING BED!
Brendan
Matt, you have so much to live for, and so little to do with it.
FancyShark
It is not a bump-free journey from Idaho to DC, Matt
Brendan
Well it's not like that thing's going to get quaked.
Pumpkin Spice Mordred 🎃
It sounds like he's ready to jizz in his pants all over again.
No refractory period, no stamina, no chill
Brendan
Only one premature explosion in this bedroom...LADIES.
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For a dude we are supposed to think got this job for being an idiot, Matt sure does immediately prove that anyone whos going to do a bombing has to be slightly more intelligent than a jellyfish, because the dumb ones blow themselves up hours before hand.
Really its the guys who sent him on this mission that are the real idiots, Matt can barely find his dick.
infinite tempest jakesy
Hahahaha
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You'll be lucky if he doesnt just blow up some town in Michigan.
infinite tempest jakesy
What's less than a one pump chump?