120: Time Gladiator Mack Reynolds

GDC's Quivering Thews

no one put a gladius to your head and made you larp

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

I mean maybe they did.

Rachel, Sex-Positive AKA a slut

Making university profs fight to the death has a certain appeal

disculpa mi tulpa

he always had a gladius . . . in his heart

wait

FancyShark

Denny, if you can't laugh at how stupid you looked almost dying, you're only hurting yourself

gellaho

Upper Academician Updike

Brendan!™

Sadly He died in the Time Games ca. 33 AD.

disculpa mi tulpa

I mean, it's publish or perish. Not kill or perish. Get to work guy.

Rachel, Sex-Positive AKA a slut

Yeah that was the 7th coming. Guy couldn't fight for shit.

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Eaten by Time Lions.

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

Ah, liberal arts

FancyShark

Screaming "THIS IS MY BLOOD". But it wasn't an offering.

gellaho

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

People pelted him with bread, it was pretty funny.

FancyShark

Still less weird than their school brochure saying "Come to Daddy"

Velo

Presented without comment so as not to dilute the horrified silence

Velo

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Man whats the point of a caste system with social mobility?

FancyShark

He's ready for some football

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

exploitation

gellaho

Can't steal stocks in the confusing People's Capitalism, so no Rex Morans here

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

there it is

welfare is the root of all evil

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Well that sounds pretty alright Mack, are you sure this is supposed to be Dystopian?

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

I was wondering what breed of weirdstupid this would turn out to be

FancyShark

Capitalism, that thing that caters to the poor

disculpa mi tulpa

he thinks the caste system is something new and unusual and less mobile than what we have

actually sounds like you can move up.

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

🤔 I wonder if its like a standardized test or what.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

well you can climb over the corpses of your friends

gellaho

I mean, it's not a political treatise

GDC's Quivering Thews

i'd say kumite, but they already have bloodsports here

FancyShark

Like a bake sale

Brendan!™

We're not friends until I see the quick movements of your facial muscles.

disculpa mi tulpa

yeah that's like the NFL

Brendan!™

Generally I get along best with The Latin face.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

fair enough

gellaho

Mack Reynolds whole deal was writing views of the future with parts selected at random

Brendan!™

Rex Moran: Time Tulpa

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

That's a pretty sweet aim

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

God bless him.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

oh so it's a deliberate mishmash?

gellaho

He's also literally a born socialist, so I don't think he really views this as anything other than entertainment

Brendan!™

Comrade Moran shall return unto us

It is foretold.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

I thought he was trying to Say Something

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Yeah and its "TIME GLADIATORS ARE WICKED SWEET CHERYL!"

FancyShark

He will walk into the courthouse, steal the judge's gavel out of their hands and tell the courtroom it was someone else

Then he'll order takeout

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

A guy can switch -isms as a kink

gellaho

Brendan!™

Jesus was a socialist, this remains accurate.

I mean, really he was a communist.

But Zero is Cuban, and therefore a socialist.

gellaho

Anyway, suck on a trank

Brendan!™

I DON'T KNOW GEOPOLITIK

disculpa mi tulpa

I mean, fair enough. I'm going to vape some extract now.

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

Guys, this is maybe close to HOTDOG

gellaho

Vengeance of automation

FancyShark

What if I want to witness violent death while brushing my teeth and gazing out the window?

Velo

Rex Moran will always be there in our hearts, which he stole

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

Froot Loops, the greatest delicacy

disculpa mi tulpa

gotta love a caste system that automates a caste

Brendan!™

Trank doesn't make me happy, only Soma does.

gellaho

Suck on them tranks

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

"you dare dip these chicken tendies in tomato sauce when I who studied all my life for this moment have decreed they must be paired with sweet n sour?"

disculpa mi tulpa

I'm a Substance D man

Velo

"I think almost dying every day is starting to effect me mentally" says Dennis, who chooses to go by Denny

disculpa mi tulpa

I mean, if I can suck my trank pills, I'm not too concerned. Seems cool.

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Yeah that actually kind of sounds pretty sweet. I would like some future drugs, pls.

FancyShark

Sucking pills seems inefficient. Gargle them.

disculpa mi tulpa

I definitely wouldn't be joining the national death games club. Just give me more pills.

Denny is an idiot.

Velo

Is Denny his cool nickname?!

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

I'll make a deal with the world, we can have gladiatorial games if we get UBI and free healthcare.

FancyShark

Nickname guy had to go to the bathroom but Dennis was insistent

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Ill personally make that happen.

gellaho

Updike is not having it

FancyShark

More like Updick

GDC's Quivering Thews

Denny is getting put on double secret probation

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Well one of the drawbacks of free education is universities dont need media attention.

gellaho

Mescaltranq, the fancy trank

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

I like that they're using the word "telly" for tv, that's some old school brit/aussie slang

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Mescaline but ALSO a tranquilizer?!

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

Downers for Uppers!

Rachel, Sex-Positive AKA a slut

Okay I'll take a hit

FancyShark

Hang on, when did he win?

gellaho

Indeed

GDC's Quivering Thews

mezcaltranc is the kind with the worm in the bottle

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

just after he gave up and fell over

Velo

I know it's not him but I'm just going to start using this picture for Mack if he insists on talking like this

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

One of my favorite things about Mack is that his books are always so optimistic in weird ways like "We will invent a combination of mescaline and tranquilizer and it wont ruin the world."

gellaho

You survive, you win

Velo

Classic participation trophy snowflake bullshit

Die of tetanus like a real man

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

"You're fired!"

"I have tenure, and we are socalists"

"Oh... then TO THE ARENA WITH YOU!"

gellaho

Meanwhile, in Russia

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

god I would love a 10 hour work week

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

He's allowed to work that much?

gellaho

Or, I guess Budapest

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

I know one guy who left Sweden b/c his union threatened him with violence for working too hard

Brendan!™

This is true: I fully intend to spend the first day of my retirement eating half of a brand new box of Apple Jacks. It's going to be the most glorious pleasure.

gellaho

Would have fingered him immediately

FancyShark

It's hard to sympathize with a man who craves vacation when he's opting to not take vacation

Velo

"The Colonel could fuck if he wanted to, but chose not to. That's just how cool he was."

gellaho

As opposed to the P!nk Army, where they get the party started

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Too afflicted with ennui to get laid, the scourge of socialism.

Velo

Damn you, Not Fucking

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

All he can do is drape himself over his couch and yell "ENNUI!" at the ceiling.

gellaho

What a fun place Russia was

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

And still is!

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Its had its moments over the years.

gellaho

I remember when the KGB was cranking out Nvidia cards

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Say what you will about the Soviets, their gaming PCs could run Crysis.

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

You still have to feed tranq'd citizens, though

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Half the time they castrated the operator but they RAN, dammit.

Brendan!™

FancyShark

Sov-world was not a fun amusement park

gellaho

The ultimate chief

Brendan!™

Oh hell yeah, it's a techno-utopian society!

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Obama brand barack no less.

GDC's Quivering Thews

take your hand off your knob before you shake hands with the chief

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

"Was not hard to make! In Soviet Union, fun comes to YOU"

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Their slogan: "Thanks, Obama!"

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

AGed like a fine Obama

Brendan!™

Barack is Russian for soy-milk.

gellaho

The ultimate chief drunkenly rambles at him for a while

FancyShark

His tonsils are in a jar on the desk

gellaho

Before it turns out Yuri was supposed to meet with someone else

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

"girl sergeant"

GDC's Quivering Thews

Exciting bureaucratic mixup action!

gellaho

As opposed to Uncommon Europe

FancyShark

Uncommon Europe is a different color with a lower drop rate

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

Rare Europe is hella cool

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

And probably not to Rare or Legendary Europe.

gellaho

Can't get through one book without him

FancyShark

Hi, Adolf

Yes, we see you

disculpa mi tulpa

frigid fracas just makes it sound silly. I'm for it.

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Sneaking thru the background, Adolph Hitler.

GDC's Quivering Thews

Reynolds is trying way to hard to make fracases a thing

Velo

Oh so this is an alternate universe where the word "fracas" became popular

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

"Ja, ich bin sehr Ruhig, teehee"

Velo

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Butterfly flaps its wings in China and the term "fracas" enters the slang lexicon in America.

gellaho

Spicy Hungarians

FancyShark

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

spicy

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

It's all the paprika.

Delicious delicious paprika.

FancyShark

"Spicy Hungarian" sounds like a dangerous sex move

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

At least 10 years ago, "Comrade" was a fun way to refer to a man as gay in China

GDC's Quivering Thews

Spicy Hungarian sounds like a type of sausage

disculpa mi tulpa

TIL

gellaho

Ponce DeLeon, having found the fountain of youth, later became an influential socialist

disculpa mi tulpa

the fight is no longer being fought . . . except in the arena! COMRADES!

gellaho

Whatever that means, indeed

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

the corpse was rehabilitated

GDC's Quivering Thews

That was part of the purge following the split from the Bukharinist Deviationist Rightists

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

"We changed our minds."

disculpa mi tulpa

oh man, I hope after I die in a fascist takeover, they eventually forgive me and rebury my corpse IN A FUCKING WALL

gellaho

I think you'll find he did not

disculpa mi tulpa

see something, say something

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

"Is it like 'Frodo lives'?"

Brendan!™

Inflexion

GDC's Quivering Thews

Yeah, but there's an icepick that makes a compelling counter-argument

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Very emphatically he does not. In fact, I think very few people are more unalive than Trotsky.

Brendan!™

He's not dead, he's just hammered.

gellaho

Brendan!™

Africa boned yet again

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

"Yes, yes... excellent exposition, boss"

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

phew, never would have guessed this guy grew up in a very politically active family

FancyShark

"As you know"

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

anyway what's up with the gladiators

disculpa mi tulpa

Neut-world sounds like an express lane for pet services

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

"CHERYL! DO YOU THINK I COULD WORK IN "SHE TURNED ME INTO A NEUT!" AS A JOKE?!"

GDC's Quivering Thews

Welcome to neut-world, you flip 'em, we snip 'em

gellaho

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

"Drunk, I'm fuck"

GDC's Quivering Thews

"what's in these tranks, mezcal?"

gellaho

Debouched

FancyShark

Surprised they didn't rename it the Hitler War, honestly

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

"Common Europe cant stop being bankrupted every third week, and every second week another member state elects a fascist government. Super Great British people live in tents and eat mud."

Brendan!™

This is exactly how Holy Grail started

disculpa mi tulpa

after WWIII, the powers will be embarrassed and revise the number system out. Like Xbox.

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Weirdly, Common Europe still run by weird baby armed inbreds.

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

"Super World War"

disculpa mi tulpa

World War 3

60

gellaho

Who cries for the Neut?

gellaho

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

gellaho why are you doing this to us

tell us how we have failed you o Lord and we will make amends

gellaho

Anti-missile missile and anti-anti-missiles

FancyShark

So many of these books make me wonder if philosophy needs to be more inclusive. If only to give a lot of these authors a better outlet

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

do you want me to sacrifice fancyshark?

Brendan!™

Before I pick a side, how does the Gaulle's face move?

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

say nothing if yes

disculpa mi tulpa

double triple double bluff!

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

So basically if they fire a wave of dummy rockets.

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

This guy should have written Manga or Anime

disculpa mi tulpa

never go in against a nuclear warhead when death is on the line!

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

Your anti-missile

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Mack, I'm pretty sure you dont have to INVENT a special missile for shooting down missiles that shoot down missiles.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

quick we need to invent a missile to shoot down the missile that shoots down the missile that shoots down... our missile

gellaho

Meanwhile, Denny is possibly jerking it

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Its so hard to remember that hes writing from a time when people thought like this and not improperly make fun.

GDC's Quivering Thews

I'd already forgotten about this guy

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

ejaculated

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Oh right, yeah Professor Gladiator.

Which would be a pretty sweet wrestling gimmick.

gellaho

Flesh pots

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Also imagine living in a time when having your hands in your pants pocket was normal and not a sign you were cranking your hog secretly.

disculpa mi tulpa

ah yes, emergency marriage

gellaho

We've upgraded the Pentagon

FancyShark

Soup kitchens had cooler names back then

Or they relocated to the MMA fighting ring

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

THE OCTAGON

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

It really confused people when they started calling the soup kitchens that, but even more when the brothels started getting called bread bowls.

gellaho

Transportation seems terrifying

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Also an additional three sides on the Pentagon means sooooo many more unnecessary toilets!

GDC's Quivering Thews

Oh no, a hyperloop

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

The Octagon is a shitters paradise.

Brendan!™

Each at a cost of $18,000/bowl

gellaho

Could hardly fail to remember

disculpa mi tulpa

🎶 been spending most our lives living in a 🎵

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Military officer grade poopin dont come cheap.

Brendan!™

Then they should stop feasting on the spoils of foreign lands.

disculpa mi tulpa

getting Zen in the dill . . . better or worse than getting crazy with Cheez Whiz?

gellaho

The reunion we've all been waiting for

Velo

Oh right Zero exists

disculpa mi tulpa

"heavy office pallor"

man fu

😄

FancyShark

Zero Gonzales was Speedy's deadbeat brother

gellaho

Getting a good look at Zero's ass

Velo

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Hell yes, ass.

"CHERYL!? SHOULD I LOVINGLY DESCRIBE THIS CUBAN GUYS ASS FOR THE READER? NO? TOO SOON?"

gellaho

I believe that's close to the Italian town of Ligma

Brendan!™

You know, I'm something of a competent seaman myself.

disculpa mi tulpa

oh some time travel? maybe?

gellaho

That's a terrible prize

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

"Oh you were under the impression we were asking. Lol, silly professor."

disculpa mi tulpa

ah so, play for a club, get signed up involuntarily for a giant death match, and if you win, you're on death match call.

Not a great hobbie.,

Velo

I don't know that sounds fun

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

International law is way cooler in this world.

Velo

Is it guaranteed death?

P.Boart vs Knockoff Xenomorphs

It's that or not work

disculpa mi tulpa

I mean, eventually it's guaranteed

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Here all you get is a politely worded request to form a commission to investigate the possibility of maybe thinking about doing something about a thing.

gellaho

Listen to my fling as I fling myself around

GDC's Quivering Thews

let me sling my fling before you do a thing

disculpa mi tulpa

can you put it down and reverse it?

FancyShark

"Listen to my fling" is a much classier way to say "kiss my ass"

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

Mack has such a flair for fake slang.

disculpa mi tulpa

you're not wrong. It's silly and distracting. But kids say dumber shit.

gellaho

The brute will come out in the slob

FlippantSausages Daddy Lightning

In ten years the President of the United states will use the word "rizz" in a speech.

FancyShark

This is like reading a transcript of Mountain Monsters

disculpa mi tulpa

tell you what uh, them slobs there uh, they inherited the earth

gellaho

White is an interesting choice for the color of a fluid

GDC's Quivering Thews

they're sucking the white out of us

FancyShark

Sucked it out with their drooling mob

gellaho

Projected herself

disculpa mi tulpa

that milk emoji made me think I'd like a nice frappe with my fracas. Maybe some tapas?