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The Denver reporter met up with the New York reporter and they're going to team up
To do... Something
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#4 Steele
The Denver reporter met up with the New York reporter and they're going to team up
To do... Something
All...the way...down.
Goddamn, this writing
Higgins now has control of the electronic Steele brain copy. And it fucked with the launch sequence
So... everything they happened until now was pointless?
Just when you thought this couldn’t get any worse
Deus ex machina to save the day
It pleases Matrix to watch the humans struggle amongst themselves
Because same outcome if internet steele just took away his nukes on page 15
I guess the train isn't connected to the same launch sequence
The bad guy just got laser shot in the heart
I mean, I guess technically steele saved the day
without really doing a whole hell of a lot
Shouldn’t he just only use the laser now
Steele just kills the bad guys, all the other stuff is up to everyone else
He needs at least 20 minutes before he can go again.
he's only trained to kill people not investigate or find them, he was a cop
Wait
Remember, although most of him is Nysteel, his penis and laser are still very much human.
Just look at this
Has anyone been in a van that flipped 4 times or a motorcycle that crashes at full speed? Hawke seems to think it is a mild inconvenience
"I just have to figure out how to stop this train"
"Epilogue"
I think it's hilarious how they saved basically everything but his brain
Like did they even try?
How'd he stop the train, eh, fuck it
book's over
I crashed my bicycle once because Citibikers are the worst. I was okay. Basically, I am a cyborg lasergun hero.
Also uhhhh the biker boss had to lay his bike down at 90 mph? And he’s just mildly inconvenienced?
No wants to see an exciting sequence of him stopping a runaway train
Wait
This is just utter nonsense at this point
I'm so confused how the biker guy tried to get on the train at the exact place that Steele had to ride tandem up to to catch it BEFORE the delay of crashing the bike.
Lol god dam Jevvies
The tone in these books is so uneven
These books are simply amazing
You know what, this is pretty funny though
Jesuits rule.
Honestly I'd do the same
Hahahaha
That is great actually
My wedding shall be attended by everyone I've met in the last four days
Including my bride
I feel like my favorite seanbaby line is appropriate for these books. "I've never seen someone be so bad at a thing and not die from it"
Well we finished the book. Now all we've got to do is figure out how to stop this goddamn train.
Who's getting married and why are they dressed like a far east stereotype of what Americans are like?
They never said
Tracy and the stripper obviously
Maybe?
Not the one he ate out, the other one
Tracy never even met these people
Tracy was a corpse before he hit the ground.
Oh wait, that was Tippecanoe
And Tyler too
The book literally doesn't say who is getting married, I don't think it's Tracy
That is worse
At least Tracy said "I'm going to get married to Karen"
If it was him, why wouldn't he say that
So Steele and that's so Raven?
The End
I would say this is the best one so far though
No horrific rape!
And it was hilariously horny
Yeah book 3 was pretty fucking grim
Underwear is the only thing strippers wear and Hawke thinks it's the opposite.
Can Steele's ny-liver get drunk?
Has simon hawke fully exorcised his darkness? Only time will tell
Let’s ask the creator of the material, Bill Ny the Steel Guy
That one was enjoyably stupid all the way through, besides the Nuclear history lesson
Yeah I agree, this one made less sense than the rest of them but was still somehow better
"Becktoria sexily gyrated at her job as a scientist, savoring the stares of those G.I. Boytoys who could only admire her body boobily, instead of her mind also boobily but brainily too. let them stare. Her boyfriend was a living vibrator of DEATH!"
It kind if feels like the tone they should have had all along
At least there wasn’t like random kid rape thrown in
The last few had one or two absolute cringey sections
He must have recently watched some 80's boob comedies
I was eating Thai food. Did Ice ice anyone?
I just hope simon hawke worked through his shit in his previous novel.
But the darkness of the human soul is not so easily banished, only time will tell if he has truly escaped his demons
I don't want this to end.
He didn't do a much of anything
Good news, we're only half way done
Everything must I'm afraid
But don't worry, the memories will last forever
If I have to be stuck on my ass for a full year, at least I have these Steele sessions.
After Steele, Simon Hawke somehow has 25 other books
We don't have bitch ass robot brains that can be erased, so we have that going for us
Clearly with those numbers he gives all his works his best effort.
but if we did we could just start over and over
There are 12 TimeWars books
"Guinevere stared at the strangers with historical nipples."
But we would never learn what we must from the experience. No it is better to carry the experience with us in our hearts, in our souls, in our human dicks
Oh shit. TimeWars. How could I forget about the time wars
Actually, my dick is the only part of me that is Cyborg.
This is the summary of one of his full length novels. Count the number of ideas and genre changes
Yeah I'm surprised steele just didn't go whole hog, if I may
What a terrible way to learn that Project Download erased the man you used to be.
So, is the increase in suicides because they have no fantasy stories? because I would like simon hawke to back that assertion up
The back of the book kind of spoils the middle of the book.
I like the idea right up until the fantasy creatures show up
The it's like, fuck you
It goes sci-fi, fantasy, back to sci-fi
And he, of course, mentions reproduction
The ark ship and suicides feels like interesting material to mine.
Do. Fairies. Fuck.
Like, really get into ideas of society, despair, hope, anguish the human condition you know?
But then it turns into Ready Player One?
Honestly the first paragraph had me worried because I was kicking around an idea like that and also it's everyone's reality.
Simon Hawke loves a premise
The he adds fairy's because he sucks and I hate him
Or should I say, all the premises
But then it just became Na-VRnia
I would be interested in that, depending on where you go with it
I like desperately bleak stories apparently. I am learning this about myself more and more
The ship starts to fail and the leadership refuses to do anything about it.
I like it
I like that concept
I'm writing a sci fi right now, kind if. It's not really a sci fi, and that's not genre snobbery I mean I just don't do much with the technology or science aspects. They're just there, in the background.
But what if there were hot naked fairies?
with, like, their tits out?
It's future but not sci-fi?
Like, I think sci fi should use it's setting to explore ideas, but the setting us almost incidental.
Not fully but mostly
Not joking
God damn it hawke
HAAAAAAAAAAAWKE
If you think that's bad, there's a centaur named Borodini who's trafficking all of them and keeping the poppy seeds.
I have now completed my dark task. Time to retreat to the book cage to decide my next undertaking
The book cage, where bad an naughty books go