Brendan
3V is a cool term and I suggest we appropriate it.
73: Anti-Grav Unlimited Duncan Long
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There's a new man on the Moon... and old Mother Earth is in for some incredible surprises.
Archive
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
And in the bathroom and maybe once or twice in the kitchen if everyone is feeling saucy.
gellaho
THE RODS
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I'm starting to feel a little loopy from 24 hours with no sleep and its great.
gellaho
Also: magnetic bubble smelters
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
What the fuck does the bit in parentheses mean?
FancyShark
Are we making up fun phrases now?
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
is he some kind of Benjamin Button reverse man?
FancyShark
THANK You!
He moonwalks
LyraV
Then he played for him the song from Trolls.
Ramb$ne Gracie
he comes in with the energy of someone stomping out
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Hanley apparently brings down the tone.
Ramb$ne Gracie
but said in idiot
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
you have 48 hours before hallucinations in my experience
They won't be fun
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I tend to not get those until at least day four.
Ramb$ne Gracie
i went 60 but didn't get hallucinations
and i feel ripped off
FancyShark
Try to sleep before day five. That's when you die
LyraV
I get auditory hallucinations after 36 hours give or take.
Brendan
Like a theoretical Benjamin Buttonhole?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Hehehe Benjamin Butt(on)hole.
gellaho
That's when he's talking to the reader
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
anyway, does anyone know where I can smelt my magnetic bubble? Does Staples do that?
gellaho
Expensive glow suits
FancyShark
You have to crack the suit in your hand first before it starts glowing
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I think you need to contact a specialist, the guys at Staples just look up smelting on Yourtube.
Ramb$ne Gracie
that's a force field from dune 1984
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I'm so sick of guys in cheap glowsuits, like some Winner's bargain bin glowsuits shmuck
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"The slow blade penetrates the glow suit."
gellaho
Time to steal and run
FancyShark
Technically, it's not hard to steal everything you can
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
This is a real roundabout way to tell the reader he made a way for people to fuck their own asses while flying without a plane.
gellaho
Compucalc the efficacy of THE RODS
1000 Space GDCs
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Whatever you do, dont put two in your ass with opposing poles facing each other. Poor Steve the intern was torn in half before we could get them loose."
gellaho
DEADLY RODS
FancyShark
One end of the rod is attracted to normal matter. Which means it sticks to everything
1000 Space GDCs
so what i'm hearing is that these rods are an infinite source of energy?
gellaho
Just like a little kid with a balloon
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"We lost Intern Darryl figuring out it sticks to things"
Brendan
The other end of the rod is sapiosexual for normal matter, which means it's only attracted to sentient beings.
LyraV
Everyones favorite.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Meanwhile in like a million years a whole civilization is wiped out as a random anti grav rod impacts their planet after gathering speed the entire time.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I love when a sci-fi author says fuck you, fundamental laws of physics!
gellaho
guitar squeal
FancyShark
First you get the rods. Then you get the van.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I think it just means the rods are really pretentious and don't get hits on their dating apps
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
It's got a sick mural of the original lineup of Hawkwind on it, from before they kicked Lemmy out for rocking too hard.
Brendan
"I'm not like you base pigs, roiling in your lusts. I can only lie there for ten minutes doing none of the work with someone I find pretentious."
FancyShark
It also has one of those stick figure families on the back window, but all the kids are just lines
Brendan
Shit, I stole your adjective for that joke.
gellaho
Phil seems like he's in the right state of mind for transporting the RODS
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I'll allow it Brendan
Brendan
LITERS of caffinex!
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Doctor Phil, we still havent figured out the magic rabbit clitoral and prostate stimulator attachment you wanted, but we did make a cock ring version."
FancyShark
His heart is going to be foam by morning
gellaho
What could the difference between a computer and a compucalc possibly be
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
No practice being a criminal? What about all your accessory to incest charges?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Oh shit the computers are sentient.
This is kidnapping.
FancyShark
I'd tell you, but you'd tell me to go to the swamp
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
He aided and abetted a clone fucker and is now kidnapping sentient machines.
FancyShark
oh no. We're reading David Cage
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Poor lil guys, he wont even ask if they wanna come or not.
Brendan
Compucalc is either a microprocessor or a serial stack of computers.
All I know is it's EXTREME computer one way or the other.
gellaho
Mastivista
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
don't we all love when a novel starts with action, then flashes back to two weeks earlier when the hero was stealing a hundred antigravity rods with no tension or stakes
Fatamatician: Curator
Holoshark and Modif-horse meet Compucalc
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Mastivisa. For when you chewed up your Visa."
FancyShark
"I'll do the talking. What it is, Compucalc."
"You look like cops."
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
He has one hot fist and one lukewarm fist
Fatamatician: Curator
"beeep...neigh....beep"
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
also sentence fragment
gellaho
Phil is very observant
FancyShark
If we start talking about future stuff and bank accounts and don't get any Rex Moran, this book is a failure
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Sentence fragments are like little archaeology puzzles for now people.
And therefore good and cool.
FancyShark
Phil does have a way with fun phrases
Too bad they're not very coherent
gellaho
Pukers can't see you if you don't move
FancyShark
People vomit so much in the future, they have gangs
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
you don't fuck with the Seanbaby gang
Fatamatician: Curator
You know the look
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Oooooh I've played this game before, he needs to use the rocket launcher and circle strafe because pukers are projectiles and not hitscan.
gellaho
The nerves of steel you'd expect from a lab worker
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
a little jig
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Also the Beretta was such a 70s gun.
FancyShark
If this were a movie, Phil would be played by the child of a Hollywood legend
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
very difficult to aim but also he did it flawlessly
gellaho
Certainly am wondering that
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
My dude...........RAIL GUN was a possibility and you picked a nine mil Beretta?!
alfredo disco jakesy (69)
He's obviously wearing a red Hawaiian shirt this whole time
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I couldn't give a shit why you have body bags
FancyShark
No, Phil. I was wondering why you were calmly getting them out after screaming when you fired your gun
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Maybe instead of explaining that you could DEVELOP YOUR MAIN CHARACTER
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Its for the failed fuck clones.
The ones that need a longer bake time.
FancyShark
There's also some buckets
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Kraig still fucks them but he slops them into a bucket after.
LyraV
pfff bake time 😆
gellaho
That's more of a how than why
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Phil is classy and uses a garbage bag.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I love bake time with my fuck clones
alfredo disco jakesy (69)
Why would you trade for body bags
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Traded for them on the black market" is nerd speak for "Bought a roll of Hefty's at the Piggly Wiggly"
FancyShark
I'm surprised it took this long to confirm Phil is a dangerous loner
LyraV
I feel like you'd at least give them an actual personality.
gellaho
Sounds boring
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
maybe you could kill that run on sentence phil
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Running too fast.
His antique handgun cant draw a bead.
He might as well have a goddam musket.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I have an unfortunate overabundance of personality so dividing between two or three of us would work wonders
gellaho
Seems perfectly normal
FancyShark
Phil went on to play John Doe in Se7en
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I read "labbots" as "rabbots" and got briefly excited.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
@Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage you just need to kill two men, stuff them in your van, and take a long nap
gellaho
Sick burn
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
You'll sleep like a baby
FancyShark
At least he tried to say fat is normal
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
long Duncan plays with big head mode activated
LyraV
Your personality never seems an overabundance but a gift, I meant you'd be nice enough to really flesh out the character of your clones (unlike this author).
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Im imagining Phil looks like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force now.
gellaho
Thumbnail watch seems very impractical
FancyShark
I love this and will join you in this belief
Brendan
All sci-fi writers are libertarians until proven otherwise.
LyraV
Brutananadalewski
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
gellaho
Time for nap #2?
Brendan
Carl is such a G
1000 Space GDCs
All technology in this future is stupid, impractical and has a dumb name.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
My dude, you can NOT store liquifying corpses in the same space as computers.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
yeah. At least Iain banks is the good kind of libertarian
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Its bad for your GPUs
FancyShark
Feeling depressed? Look for these symptoms:
-Lethargy
-Listlessness
-Having two rotting corpses in your van
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Leave the corpses in the bathtub.
Fatamatician: Curator
You know the look
gellaho
Nothing like a good instawarm after dumping a couple of bodies
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
That meal? Reheated Chinese food. No fork.
No nothing.
Just them meat hooks.
LyraV
Well that was easy, no one will ever find them there. At a place where people stop and rest.
1000 Space GDCs
Surely you could have come up with a better place to dump bodies than a rest stop.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
what would you do if your baby brained fuckclone daughter sister could chop your head off with a laser
gellaho
First order of RODS: van power
alfredo disco jakesy (69)
The dead bodies are gone. Aaaaanyway time for a snack
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Fuck you asshole. You invent a miracle of science, then steal it and your first thought is to use it to power your van.
alfredo disco jakesy (69)
I mean hell yeah borther
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Not "Shit I could improve peoples lives." or "Fuck yeah, world domination time." but "How can I get free van juice forever?"
1000 Space GDCs
Does the van even have something rad painted on it though?
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
okay one end attracts matter, one end repels it. So if you stick it in an enclosed space won't it, like, burst through one end of it?
LyraV
Not with VAN POWER
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
His vans body is made of adamantiunobtainium.
gellaho
Better not use the synthadiamond, better use the laser that randomly reflects everywhere
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
it has a mural of Kraig fucking Kraig2 on top of a holoshark
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Kraig2 has a righteous set of dude boobs.
And his hair? Literal fire.
alfredo disco jakesy (69)
Fire made of burnhot
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
how many holes did he burn through himself?
LyraV
With martian goats cheering the whole thing on.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Like this but with a sweet hog.
gellaho
Right up that tight little orbit with some sililube
Brendan
Barry 2099
Ramb$ne Gracie
well we know the rods aren't made with nysteel
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Freshly lubed rods. Alllll riiiiiiiiiiight.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
a villainous slutty redhead? Oh no, lyra won't be pleased
Fatamatician: Curator
This guy has seen how I get down
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I feel like Kraig2 is blameless in all this.
Ramb$ne Gracie
in the mind of a hack sci-fi writer there are two women: busty red-head and busty asian woman
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Kraig2 is still getting the hang of shapes and object permanence.
1000 Space GDCs
The solution to mankind's travel problems is a perpetual motion van. checks out
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
oh please he kills Kraig and becomes the villain at the end of act 2 or I will eat any number of hats
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Or! The hero. Cos he killed his obviously evil incest clone making dad.
gellaho
Time to power the entire house via VAN ENERGY
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Kraig is dead. Long live Kraig.
LyraV
Vans are exempt from preconcieved hair notions.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Yeah I can use this perpetual motion machine to power my makehot box and make sweet hobo meals on the lam."
Brendan
Come on, that's reductionist. There is Asian [plotting villain dominatrix] and Asian [compliant, giggling love interest]
gellaho
Fuckin' Linda
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
she's the labs HR lady, obviously
Ramb$ne Gracie
fuckin' Linda
LyraV
You've got this shit figured OUT.
1000 Space GDCs
Man, every office has a Linda
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
eh at least it wasn't Susan or, god forbid, Lisa
Ramb$ne Gracie
hear me out, what if the busty plotting Asian dominatrix girlfriend also had red hair?
gellaho
NOTHING SUSPICIOUS. ONLY GOING 250% MAXIMUM SPEED
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Yeah its real sad about Steve and Darryl and Garryl and Wayne. We have to stick to teh project tho so they didnt die horribly in vain."
Brendan
As long as she doesn't turn into a panda, I'm cool.
Ramb$ne Gracie
they used a panda for the clone base
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Man what a good van, it held together at 200 klicks.
Ramb$ne Gracie
she used to be one now she's a love interest
Brendan
/convert 80km to mph
Ramb$ne Gracie
80kph: still slow
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
yeah it's like what, 50? 45 mph?
1000 Space GDCs
I wonder how he gets the van to stop with an engine he can't stop spinning
gellaho
Going down to the Radio Dome to spend my centimes
LyraV
Watch out for the hi-pees.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
49.7, I'm great at everything
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Of course, I kept a few centimes for the truck stop hookers I like to lure into my van."
Ramb$ne Gracie
i want to know what a centimeme is
1000 Space GDCs
How has he had a van this long and not prioritized painting a dragon on it? Baffling.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
after the nuclear holocaust mankind's first priority will be inventing clunky new terms for everything
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
1\100th of a dollhour.
gellaho
You nerds will not let me skip these boring technical details
gellaho
gellaho
See: Duncan agrees with me
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Is the radio dome near the love dome? That little old cyber place where we can get together?
1000 Space GDCs
This is uncomfortably close to what I'm doing in my actual job.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STICK THE ROD IN FOR FUCKS SAKE PHIL! GARRYL ISNT GONNA TEAR HIMSELF A NEW ONE LITERALLY!"
"Wait tear what now?"
"Too late, bye Garryl!"
gellaho
The computers really want to smash though
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
"here's basically what me, and Jason, did: we"
JUST TELL US WHAT YOU'RE DOING ASSHOLE
gellaho
When will they install those fear circuits
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Aw hell yeah Pleasure Dome.
1000 Space GDCs
Is this author also an engineer?
1000 Space GDCs
Oh man, deep Rise of the Dragon cut
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Best game you can lose via public nudity charges.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
sometime before a long long time ago
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Poor lil computers.
I imagine they have little pixel faces like the girl robot in WALL-E
gellaho
You're a weird guy, Phil
1000 Space GDCs
The computers in this book are almost as abused as the ones in the Hardy Boys.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
lookin all "^o^" and shit when you ask them to connect to the internet.
LyraV
Sure it's the computers whispering to you, not your inner demons.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
oh good thanks lyra, I was starting to worry I might have to take those meds after all
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
okay but flying van is legitimately bad ass, but my guy........you could have just gotten a pilots license and not spent years inventing Chitty Chitty Meth Bus.
gellaho
The test flight goes poorly in a number of ways
1000 Space GDCs
This is basically the armor building montage from Iron Man, but with a van, and somehow lame.
Brendan
SHE HAS A NAME IT'S EVE GOD
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Eva I think
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Not to mention you cant really fly so much as hover with intent without like.......CONTROL SURFACES AND SHIT THAT VANS DO NOT HAVE.
Brendan
Eve is her robot name.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH?
Brendan
Eva is the name fleshapes gave her
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
The world Military is always ready in case Mars Attacks
gellaho
There goes half the ROD supply
gellaho
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Legit making myself happy thinking about WALL-E
gellaho
Duncan, I know you know those aren't called coin phones
gellaho
Phil is now living the Van Life
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Hahahaha another dork ass science fiction writer decided flying van was more plausible than wireless phones.
gellaho
Good to know about the dino teats
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Get dunked on by THE FUTURE, PALEO-DORK!
HAH I KNEW THEY HAD SCALEY UDDERS!
Reptile tits confirmed!
gellaho
Bopper design, my good man
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Dinocow teats is what I would have written in a parody of all this nonsense
Satire is dead
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Hahahaha we beat it to death with a shovel in 1958 as a suspected Communist infiltrator.
The Bush family still has Satire's skull.
Ramb$ne Gracie
all hail deconstruction
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
angry Javo intensifies
gellaho
Glad you guys are taking the dinocow as a serious detail
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
yeah I'm sure he'll be swallowed by a dinocow at some point
LyraV
Reptile milk, they bred them for the milk right? Why else woud you mention the udders specifically?
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
lyra I love you and I want you to talk more BUT
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
If a sassy teen rollerblading courier lands a magnetic clamp on his van and goes for a sky ride, I have a letter to write.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
you have to understand that when you ask questions like that you risk someone answering them
And by someone I mean djonin
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Also me.
FancyShark
[takes out first binder]
gellaho
Turned all the grocery stores into Chuck E Cheeses
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I didnt get this by keeping my mouth shut.
gellaho
How many centimes to a cred
FancyShark
It's too much to ask that this turns into Five Night's at Freddy's, isn't it?