But then I realized in this scenario I'm a Chris Hemsworth character whose past has led him to feel nothing except the extreme edge of life's blade, which I/he tempers with drugs, and also I think this might secretly be an Indian studio action movie hiding it for some reason? Anyway, I don't feel bad because she knew the game :lights cigar:
couldn't not be Kraig at this point
The first one shot about 500 needles, so I don't think that one was looking for information
He missed those bulletproof face masks, nice.
Kraig is kidnapping his loved ones.
Unless theres a second weirdo who can clone people and the writer is too much a hack to mention its common as fuuuuck now.
I'm stealing "An Overdose of Weird"
That's my autobiography now
That is such a 70s phrase Hunter S Thompson would use to describe doing mescaline with Harold Braunhut.
Well, I've officially lost my mind
"space van? nah we're going back to denver"
But we got our Ice
@alfredo disco jakesy (69) Ice alert
What
And he's dressed like Abe Lincoln this time
Ohhhhhhh this is probably fine.
Syruppy bass voice
he sounds like a Big Mouth Billy Bass
but eating waffles
And shark teeth
You have my attention
EJIL LINCOLN
It's no "voice of doom," but not every writer can be Simon Hawke
Oh of course the black dude has sharpened teeth.
What's wrong with sharpened teeth?
"i don't go in for breakfast. sometimes i have a black coffee, though..."
Not a hack decision at all and certainly not a problematic bit of coding.
This is just weird for weirdness' own sake isn't it
Like tim Burton lives here
A very slapstick stun gun fight
Tim Burton but without Helena Bonham Carters lacy tits swanning around looking wan and gothy.
You're not one-shotting THIS Lincoln!
He's moved on to Eva Green
Kraig:
https://youtu.be/azpeg34tDJM
Even sadbois need their Tig Biddy Goth Girls.
Dobrynin!
Dobrynin to you too
Phil......if you quote John Wilkes Booth now I will somehow erase you from the pages of fiction.
Do it, Phil. I dare you.
Sick, Miami
Against the ninja!
Jake is still down for whatever huh?
Throat Mike usually hangs out in the swamp
And they are.....fighting Big Energy? I guess?
Yep, the old brain is starting to go
The Miami Connection is made!
Duncan's got some very odd turns of phrase. Mostly dealing with the belly button
I dont like that the white character and his clone fuckbuddy have abolished this black guys free will via chemically enhanced suggestion.
Fuck yeah
This guy spent a lot of time thinking about navel angles.
I hate when my food stumbles into my throat. Clumsy sammich
Seems legit
Until I measure his lats for myself and see the wounds in his hands, I will not believe it.
That's right, Jesus was an Ice. What, you got a problem with a Black Jesus? Maybe YOU are the racist.
I shouldn't laugh at the phrase "protective dikes", but I'm immature
ok what if they used the rods to make Miami fly though
Dobrynin is into pink limousines
Ah. A man of taste
did they skin pink snakes?
Why? Duncan, why?
Dobrynin knows that anything is possible with Barbie Pimpin' Limo
why?
RCShasta is the better brand, DUNCAN.
Fantasprite
Also Pepsi and Coke would never merge.
I prefer SquirtYello
He's avoided real brands this whole time and WHY
i'd like a MisterDoctor please
You are killing it today for reals
Miami is just GTA Vice City then
Daww, thanks! You too!
Okay enough watersports jokes, hi-pee.
It would be like that arc of Judge Dredd where McDonalds and Burger King form warring tribes of post apocalyptic goobers.
The Shark is a frequent MVP of these gatherings.
Bag Lady Army
I learn from the best. I.E. all of you
Dobrynin is like a Qadaffi but he likes gross hobo GMILFs.
so many Kraigs
The clones helped Duncan avoid thinking up a fifth character
I can't be sure, but I think Dobrynin might be fat
It's subtle
Man no wonder Kraig was so rich, he's selling Kraigs to every Kraig, Craig, and Kreige.
He's approaching Chet levels
Future Steven Seagal NOOO!
CARL VS BARON HARKONNEN!
oh god, and he's in a pink toga
Fuck, ya beat me to it
It's just becoming a random assortment of words
finally an effeminate villain and to think I called Duncan a hack
I think Duncan understands football as much as Browne understood baseball
Nipple sequins, nice.
"A young person of dubious sex" was how I first described myself on Plenty of Fish
honestly id swipe right
You totally thought that was a buffet
Or drop a line or whatever you do on fish dating sites
I put in my order. It's not my fault they couldn't deliver!
This is the objectively correct way to play
Duncan has lost his damn mind
I thought the same thing about Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze.
What about Fish Pockets
okay I think twenty chapters in we can stop expositing irrelevant information directly to the audience
please???
This fundamentally misunderstands the structure of sport as war-porn.
I mean, I'd watch a cheerleader get sacrificed. If I got to pick who the cheerleader was
The fertility nymphs (cheerleaders, ring girls) are there as symbols of the rewards of violence.
Not its casualties.
It's fucked up, it's just the reverse fucked up of this.
Can't hear you. Turning people into chum on TV
Just a good ol game of Mutant League Baseball.
A little Rush reference for the nerds in the audience
Though his mind is not for rent
To any Kraig or government
Oh damn they Manchurian Candidateded Abe Lincoln!
Bring it back and I will return to gaming.
Naughty boys and girls
I need another three or four chapters to know if this guy's supposed to be a sex pest
This is the laziest critique of capitalism I've ever seen.
Fuck you Duncan.
I bet you thought you were being real smart, huh?
Mining the moon sounds...ill-advised.
When all else fails, mind control
"What if money people bad?"
Sure, the canaries are going to be expensive to ship
I've seen plenty lazier in here
"So we brainwashed the bad guy. Turns out the fascists were right all along, reader."
hey you know how diamond scarcity is artificial what if like technology was like that? Then the rich would horde all the child-brained incest sex clones
I'm Todd McFarlane
And this is why I'm not sorry the Queen is dead.
We're just going to gloss over programming people with drugs?
doncha think?
Convenient
yes
Free will of the masses is an impediment to the will of the Superior Man, so we reprogrammed the gross fat guy, something something free market.
It's fine because they tried to drug them first
"You're not going to kill-"
"I did that ten minutes ago."
"Wrong thing to steal"
Everyone will be floating around the Moon in Vans! It'll be dope as fuck!
Classic mind control ethics
Shoulda just had her shoot it with the laser again.
I'm guessing Duncan was a huge nerd in high school
I legit have seen a better examination of the ethics of superhuman demigods fixing all your shitty problems in a novel named something like Deathstalker.
Can I fuck your wife if I'm good?
I'll be your best friend.
No you have to be baaaaaad.
And wear a leather jacket.
And smoke.
Best I can do is spikes and a sentient cloak
And maybe slap Todd around and call him a little bitch with pretty princess feet.
listen my wife can fuck everybody she wants but I have to warn y'all: she's very gay
hmm now I'm coming around
Time to break out the nerds
I can be weirdly persuasive when I havent had much sleep.
This is quickly becoming a nerd fantasy
SOUND THE INHALER! HERALD THEIR APPROACH!
it started with genetically perfect sex slave clones gellaho
the opener was like every isekai anime for sure
Yeah it was a nerd fantasy about the time teen Kraig fucked his sisterdaughter.
Just after she sloshed out of the vat.
He grew her, slept with her then left her for himself. Kraig you scoundrel.
It's now about how sports fans are secretly huge gay dudes
classic virgo
And he went to all the trouble of emotionally damaging her so badly she'd bang Phil.
And scientists being imprisoned for being so smart
Is that bingo? Someone have bingo?
He could have landed the Clone Threesome.
But he wussed out.
the scientists are also the only ones boning
I think Seanbaby has shown us sex guides that were less sad than this
TODAY
At least Damien Sexbone the Dick Warlock didnt suggest you create a fuckable clone of yourself.
hey damien is actually pretty nice when you get to know him
They have accidentally popped the underwater prison
He was just like "Hey what if you sniff her shoes? And masturbate like a lot but ritualistically."
It's a terrible idea to fuck your clone because you'll both want the same side of the bed
Plus he has accrued much anime knowledge so, y'know, every girl's dream
And nobody is hurt by ritual masturbation.
clearly you and I have different methods
Except maybe the odd wizard but they know what they are in for when it comes to a wizards duel.
Well nobody who doesnt consent anyway.
If you have sex with your clone and she gets pregnant do you have legal clear runway to authorize the abortion?
I will applaud the author for making bag ladies the faceless goons. That is crazy in a new flavor
Depends on the state.
Trick question: 100% of the time, nobody wants a flipper baby.
I dunno I'd kinda like a little fleshy seal baby to entertain me.
Me too. No other reason
None
And once you fuck your clone sisterdaughter you are on some Caligula level shit and morality is gone.
is it too dark to make an American supreme court joke
Nah.
That's when you make your modifhorse in charge of the senate
about how women don't get bodily autonomy
They get out of the prison with everybody
nice to meet you jock who isn't based on my high school bully
"Everyone laughed and we got on to other things" is how you end an episode of Mama's Family, not a prison break
I mean at that point you are inventing new boundaries to transgress and God can't even judge you because its not like he made a rule about shit like
Whatever is going on here.
Fuckin France
I think that's called "Rachel's Wednesday"
Yeah that's NP on the left
Hahahaha eat a dick, global capitalism.
I love the idea you live your life like a Boris Vallejo painting.
I thought I already made it, so feel free to give us the informed version.
good ol country of Africa
Is this the catgirls those swamp people keep talking about?
Typical male author making the whole world riot over his rod
Yes.
I dunno man im already high
I genuinely wonder how many total rods in this book, it's gotta be so many.
I think he made like eight or twelve?
Jake gets stolen by bag ladies.
Yahhhhhhhhhhgggggggggg
103
I forget and my brain is too soup to check
No I mean actual uses of the word 'rod'
gotta catch em all ANTIGRAV RODS
Maybe it's a united confederation by now, we don't know. France just legally renamed Phil to Un Royale Avec Jaeger.
...who cares?
With Cheese.
Like the world economy just collapsed why do we give a fuck about Big Jake? He's barely a character
His motivation was "space or bust"
He makes really good paczki tho!
Beloved character Large Jacob
then he kept helping cause he had nothing else to do. This is a massive drop in the stakes.
I'm not really sure how, but this stops the bag ladies
What will Nikki and Phil do without the third member of their polyamorous triad who makes jelly donuts with rum?!
Spinning donuts is textbook bag lady fighting tactics
Have you had a paczki though
He wrote most of this book while on a wooden roller coaster.
I mean, there was more. But it was in the twenty pages of the moon I skipped
It's Poland's answer to the spinning doughnut
Yeah I used to live near a Polish bakery, they fuck hard.
Thank you
Well A bakery run by a nice old Polish couple.
They're delicious cue balls of sugar and jelly
And if you ask nicely, rum.
ooooh
Now you're speaking my language
The legendary battle with the bag ladies
Goes nicely with that Polish plum brandy I cant recall the name of cos pudding brain
rum and sweets is exactly how you win me over fyi
hahaha, they're bombing the bag ladies like it's the end of a Resident Evil game
Noted if I ever need to seek shelter in Canada.
But nevermind who shot the rocket
They evade and get back to Houston
Everyone claps
"Now let's get wrecked"
Houston is a strong candidate for rocket shot though
Sixteen people means some of those peeps in that van were real intimate.
Time to start a moon commune
did I miss when they terraformed the moon?
If an entire group of people laughs politely, you are about to be stabbed
They got transported from Miami to Houston somehow
I'm not going back to find out though
Oh noooooooo I do NOT like that Phil is now the head of a moon cult.
Or it's the audience of a kids play
There are several abandoned bases on the moon
Either way, you're getting knifed
I'm just gonna guess the van normally seats eight and some people sat on laps.
Don't worry sausage, I'm sure Phil has a very mature and reasonable sense of sexual propriety
He's sure to handle ruling the Moon Cult with the same kind of care that he's handled all of this
Scooped
sixteen polite laughs
Duncan has entered his laughing period
If you sit on your clone's lap it's really no different from curling into a ball while also having an erection, stop shifting, no, stop, it's fine it QUIT IT OW
oh shit! cheese it!
Cancel culture was about to go too far
Don't make me turn this moon around!
"hahahaha yeah, we would never kill you for reducing the world to a new dark age because you are a short sighted dipshit."
This is a Deus Ex ending, but one in Invisible War.
One you get just for the achievement
Its Tracer Tongs ending.
He's such a negative Nancy.
When he should be an Upbeat Urara.
I wouldn't reload this book if it would cure my clone's moon cancer
I played Invisible War and it was better than this book.
Not by much.
Marginally
yeah
RODS
