Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
FUCK YES ITS THE DOG FROM WORLD OF HORROR!
SELL ME A BAT SHOPKEEPER SHIBE!
73: Anti-Grav Unlimited Duncan Long
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There's a new man on the Moon... and old Mother Earth is in for some incredible surprises.
Archive
Brendan
Clifford the Disturbing Purple Dog
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
irradiated foods? On purpose?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Hulk Chow!
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I guess if I lived in that world I'd be gunning for cancer too
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Now with 30% more Gamma goodness.
FancyShark
HULK CAN'T FUCK...ING BELIEVE THESE LOW PRICES!
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Or a sweet prehensile tail!
gellaho
More clumsy than creepy
FancyShark
SYNTHEJUANA!
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Sherri Jane!
The Christ Lettuce.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
synthejuana is actually an artificial prune juice the biker's love
gellaho
THE NIGHT CREEPS
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
It really takes the edge off their artifetamines
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
NIGHT CREEPS!
Shit this got cyberpunk.
Brendan
This is how people from <1980 described microwaved meals.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
They all have the face of a deeply unpleasant celebrity from the 90s
1000 Space GDCs
Or in this case, instawarmed meals
FancyShark
The James Woods
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
you expect us to imagine american infrastructure lasting several more decades? now my suspension of disbelief is gone
LyraV
Working on those Night Creeps, Trying to beat those synthejuana Grooves
gellaho
The Night Creeps are both (1) easy enough to run over and (2) capable of stopping cars and dismantling them
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Night Creeps is very close to a Judas Priest track.
FancyShark
Leaving on that late Night Creep to Georgia
Juho
Plus, great band name.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Also one of my favorite GI Joe Characters.
Brendan
In memoriam: the victims of the 2023 Seattle Suspension Bridge of Disbelief collapse.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Who else remembers when Night Creeper Leader decided he was an Egyptian king and made Lady Jay his unwilling bride?
gellaho
Sick Night Creep Prank
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Fucking GI JOOOOOOOOOOE!
Ramb$ne Gracie
nothing happens quickly at 100kph
FancyShark
I just dropped in
To see what condition my Night Creep was in
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
A+
Ramb$ne Gracie
that's the slowest way to travel by interstate
gellaho
"Computer: schedule pants cleaning"
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I drove over a hundred klicks today for ten minutes and I was passed several times by much faster vehicles but okay
FancyShark
I missed something. Are the rods secured in any way?
gellaho
So many candy injuries
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
This book is like a slow paced and contemplative\dumb version of Damnation Alley, except instead of fighting giant radioactive bats and a horde of bikers with a sick car\tank, this guy has a flying van and does future drugs.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Does he not understand the conversion? Were people slower in the 70s?
gellaho
Some of the RODS power the engine, some of them make it fly. Half of them flew into the sky when his house exploded
Brendan
man, good thing he invented a flying van just in time for this flying-van scenario to occur.
FancyShark
hahaha, thank you
gellaho
I am skipping the details because who could care, this is a book about a van going to the moon via ROD
Brendan
This is like that time I was on a boat chasing a ship, and my teen friends were like "If only one of us were a car!"
LyraV
Good thing he kept the blinkers working.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
He forgot to call the candies unsugar
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Yes, thanks to leaded gasoline!
Hachachachacha.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
He's going to get fined for unclunky language.
Or as they call it in the future, langitarix
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Anti-sugar is already a thing tho.
Brendan
Not this guy, he's doing 200 kmph
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
So hed have to make up a whole nother word.
gellaho
cue ET theme
Brendan
That's almost FOUR American Freedom-Miles
Okay, that's a great line though.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
okay I'll only accept that if, when it touches sugar, they're both annihilated in the scientific sense
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"HAHAHAHA IM SPITTING IN THE EYE OF GOD! DO YOU SEE ME? KRAIG? I SUCCEED WHERE YOU FAILED!"
gellaho
Time for nap
LyraV
I keep forgetting about Kraig and Nikki, wait...is Nikki still alive?
FancyShark
"Sir? Please pull up to the next window."
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
"my eyes blacked out as my blood left my brain and headed for points south"
Me, when women.
gellaho
We are still in the flashback
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Was she ever really alive before?
FancyShark
This is a longer flashback than Bloodsport
gellaho
Nevermind
gellaho
Spoke too soon
LyraV
Fuck give me a minute Nikki, I've flashed back too hard!
gellaho
Should have looked at the next page first
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Hahahahah we have a persons blood soaking into the carpet. We have fun tho."
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Wow he invented the NOT joke 30 years before Borat
Brendan
Nikki is the only clone of her kind, right?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Kraig invented the worst kind of My Wife jokes.
Brendan
And this guy is like the genius Kraig's "Kraig 2.0"
so she has trouble believing he'd be wicked smaht?
gellaho
Prepare shirt unlatching procedure
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
No Kraig has run off with Kraig2.
The narrator is Phil, Sky Lord and Science Perv.
FancyShark
HOLY CRAP, EVERYONE!
THE SHIRT FIT!
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I never did learn how to gracefully unlatch a guy's shirt, it always makes second base awkward
FancyShark
You have to do it in one smooth motion or they know you're inexperienced
1000 Space GDCs
It's so complicated with those tiny hooks
gellaho
Plastic surgery is efficient in the future
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I always make sure to either not wear a button down or one I can live with if my lover tears all the buttons off in a fit of passion or frustration.
Brendan
I can't tell because everyone in this book is Kraig.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
ah man, and I'm still saving up just to get my jawline shaved
gellaho
"Uh, excuse me, but your face is melting"
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
You spoiled the twist
Brendan
I don't know a lot but I know Phil is going to fuck his Best Friend's Self-Insert even though they don't get along.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I mean Kraigs shirts fit Phil so he may very well be a Kraig. We could be dealing with a Spider-man Clone Saga.
Brendan
What's wrong with green hair, I ask you?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Kraig Reilly will return and Phil will doubt he is the real Phil.
FancyShark
Sorry, Phil, but if I see two blondes walking together, I instinctively look for demonic albino children
gellaho
Duncan just keep mentioning groups of people without any details
Brendan
They have new faces but he's hoping the hair dye will distract suspicious investigators.
gellaho
Still trying to figure out what was the deal with the robed Dweller
Brendan
Germany was on vacation a few weeks ago, and Central Park looked like the Children of the Damned
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
hey keep your joy circuit in your motherboard
gellaho
Picnic sounds nice
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Heyheyhey pretty lady, wanna help me complete my joy circuit? I still need a logic gate."
Ramb$ne Gracie
flying barbie van
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Also Joy Circuit is a good name for an EDM artist.
Vocaloid.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Pft your hard drive isn't solid state AND you don't have enough RAM
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
*Windows D pushes a new update, dick crashes.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
In the distant cyberfuture, masculinity is still too fragile for the colour pink
Brendan
Nikki becomes an accomplice to the crime of the millennium because she's got nothing else going on since she got fired and Kraig left.
gellaho
They follow a rocket and are now in the Gulf of Mexico
Brendan
We need a name for this phenomena where '70s scifi writers were like "I blinked my eyes and the crystal telepathically transported me to Venus. Normally men weren't welcome there, but I told all the pretty Femazons that I would take them shoe-shopping."
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
It's nice she's branching out and finding new hobbies other than milking her brotherdad.
Brendan
Like everything advances except social mores.
gellaho
1988
FancyShark
"Lonely Nerd"
Brendan
1988 in dimestore scifi was still the '70s
This book being written the exact same time a Hardy computer exploded feels unreal.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
This book is Damnation Alley as fuck tho.
But for boomers who are scared of radness.
Brendan
Like there were only 5 billion people on earth and they all misunderstood computers but that's the only thing they had in common.
gellaho
This is a fun three paragraphs
Ramb$ne Gracie
lol
"i'd rather be with brother-dad than you"
Brendan
Wait he's been trying to fuck her this whole time?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Hahahah just a lighthearded joke about the clone girl banging her dadbro.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Jesus christ
Brendan
The first thing he told us was there was a gulf between them.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
The publisher should have executed the author when they reached this point in the manuscript
gellaho
Phil considers being microscopic
FancyShark
He must have meant the gap between their beds
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Shes a clone so its fine, shes genetically engineered so inbreeding cant happen! Tell them, Nicholas!"
Hahahaha shes trying to kill him?
Because she is way too smart to not know a van is not voidworthy.
FancyShark
Trying to have sex with the person trying to kill you? Consider Arkansas
Ramb$ne Gracie
"you say another incest line like that again and i'm hitting the space button."
gellaho
It's now Missorark
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
RIght next to Ohiowa.
And Tennetucky.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Texas is still Texas
FancyShark
And Wisconsin. No, the other states weren't interested.
Ramb$ne Gracie
texas went to space a long time ago
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
BUT if they head to space, they could visit the planet of New Texas
Ramb$ne Gracie
i heard they're mining Mars for oil
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Old Texas isnt welcome on New Texas.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
And get help from Marshal BRAVESTARR
Brendan
You are my new favorite lawyer, and I include the lawyers in Bravestarr in that statement.
gellaho
Sick burn on Phil's face
LyraV
Baltimare.
1000 Space GDCs
With the invention of Dinocows, three things now come from Texas.
Brendan
I love that this entire Discord has discovered my favorite cartoon. Mo can post all the aspic he wants.
Ramb$ne Gracie
eyes of the wolf, ears of the pu-ma!
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
You mean his fat face
LyraV
Hey @Djonin, Catgirl victim isn't there a 'New Texas' in Trials in Tainted Space?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Just a reminder this is Phil to me.
gellaho
Big Jake Jozek
gellaho
Get the moon crew together
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Big Jake makes the best paczki in the wasteland.
And when Big Jake says he has a proposition for a man and a woman..........
Well........
You know what he's getting at.
Brendan
Big Jake Bum Leg. My friends call me Blackbeard
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Big Jake
Djonin, Catgirl victim
Why yes, yes there is. It's a colony famous for innovating fertility drugs that also enhance the body's physical performance, and having a very famous gym where body builders hang out.
Why... why do you know about it?
Brendan
How are their Kerium holdings?
LyraV
So ...a while ago before Garage Karate you posted a screenshot of a game you were playing and I thought 'this might be a fun way to kill some time'
LyraV
Really what I learned though was that I care more about doing what I percieve as 'winning' at a game than I do about getting off.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
lyra, secret pervert, confirmed
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
the true struggle
LyraV
Anyway on with the Anti Grav Van eh?
gellaho
Don't want to ruin the rubber
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
yeah you wouldn't want to pop the tires in your flying van, definitely your first priority
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Man its gonna be so cool when they fly to Mars and meet the Leather Goddesses of Phobos.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
stay off our moon
Ramb$ne Gracie
they're all Kraig
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Nikki will have eaten Phil by then.
gellaho
Isn't that sweet
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Ew stop kissing Phil.
gellaho
Next page
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
He looks like Carl.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
the poor thing has lived inside an apartment with her brother dad as his sex slave her whole life, and she's mentally eight or something, this is disgusting
FancyShark
Bars don't serve urine in pints anymore. It's sad
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Ooooh look at the super smart brain boy, bitching about his piss bag while he does space travel in HIS FUCKING ECONOLINE
gellaho
VAN POWER
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
the clock counting down to my consent lecture jumped ahead by like five ticks
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Real connoisseur only drink straight from the tap
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"We were killed by the G-Forces involved in slingshotting us to Mars in less than six months."
"My ghost is narrating this story."
Ramb$ne Gracie
the tires survived though so we're good
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"We drove around, I saw that cool gnarly face rock, and I drew a dick in the sand with my van tires."
Ramb$ne Gracie
maybe they'll go to the butt on Mercury next
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Overall, D- road trip. Would not visit again."
Ramb$ne Gracie
the tits on Saturn are lovely this time of year
LyraV
This is what I'm here for, Vans orbiting the fucking MOON
gellaho
They take over an abandoned mining base on the moon
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I applaud you for not taking the low hanging buttfruit of Uranus.
Brendan
I'm fine not going to space.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I hear you have to shit in a bag and if you nut it push you backwards.
FancyShark
You're thinking of Space Mountain
Ramb$ne Gracie
that's for fine adjustments of your bearing
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I do get those two things confused.
Brendan
I am a human. I would much rather just have someplace with a clean beach near grass between my toes. Like we should all go to space as a species, I just think i, personally, don't need to use a colon vacuum.
gellaho
With a what now
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Hull punctures. And gums up the instrumentation something fierce tho.
Hahahaha he rimmed that lady.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
good thing the moon base is airtight and operational after being abandoned for
how long?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
That is the exact way I'd phrase the taste of the morning after drunkenly eating ass like like a dying man eats a watermelon in the desert.
LyraV
Van power will get that Moon going in no time, Rod Van Power.
Ramb$ne Gracie
i hope their faces melt off in space because that sounds fun
FancyShark
No joke, I'm assuming this is going to end with Phil placing enough rods around the moon to threaten to throw it at the Earth
Ramb$ne Gracie
the moon will become their secret clubhouse
LyraV
Please be right
gellaho
They go to another base, which looks hunky dory
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
only if they can defeat the army of Kraigs
Brendan
The reason I don't need to go to space is I don't even like airplane flights longer than four hours.
Now I have to wake up with a brown taste in my mouth?
FancyShark
Kentucky...Fried...and then it just stops
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
KF was someone writing their initials and running out of oxygen before they could finish their sick laser graffiti.
Brendan
From whence I scream?
Even though no one can hear it?
Ramb$ne Gracie
KF: KRAIGS FUCK
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Scooped
gellaho
Looking good
FancyShark
Great minds
gellaho
Gives what now
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
all the plants are dead. Please mean the protagonists are going to suffocate
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Man I could just destroy a KFC Double Down right now.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
this book gives me compression blood
not to mention clot brain
Brendan
I don't know why our scoop system makes me so happy, but I also don't question it.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I like your happiness
Ramb$ne Gracie
you got clothe brain
gellaho
Book recognized that it was getting quite boring
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I like Turtle Pope and Rachel liking Brendans happiness.
Ramb$ne Gracie
yes
MELT FACES
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Ohhhh hoooooooh they did bring Big Jake along and make it a threesome.
LyraV
I like Flippant Sausage, their cats and Rachel liking Brendans Happiness
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Paczki for everyone.
gellaho
They go back to Earth to find the people that are trying to kill Phil
LyraV
it WAS exciting when our faces melted off.
gellaho
Body double van
Ramb$ne Gracie
i hope that happens to me and other hotdogs when we're doing a roadtrip
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I hope its ninja bikers!
And we have a sweet war bus.
And someone surfs it while doing karate.
Brendan
I'll say this: there's a plot.
That's not true every week.
gellaho
They go back to Nikki's apartment. Apparently the bad guys only use bag ladies
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Yeah "weird scientist builds custom van" is A plot.
gellaho
Got the vomit program going
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I'm pretty sure Phil is wanted in connection to his clone fucker best friend and the emotionally damaged superhuman he's currently convinced blowjobs are how people say "Pass the piss bags"
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Who are they trading with? Are there other moon people?
gellaho
This bag lady went with the shotty instead of the needler
gellaho
Which is my move
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Is Kraig sending clone bag ladies after his ex girlfriendsisterdaughter?
He should choose better assassins.
Ramb$ne Gracie
all the bag ladies are also Kraigs
he's running a factory in the asteroid belt
gellaho
They have successfully gassed the bag lady
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Phil and Nikki have to hitch a ride on a Rastafarian's space tug to get access to Straylight.
LyraV
Or he could have just killed her when they broke up and he fired her.
gellaho
The truth of the RODS
Brendan
Jesus
Ramb$ne Gracie
i'm not comfortable with their use of the word "load"
gellaho
The ole reverse truth serum
Brendan
Is she from the John Wick Hobo Dojo? Is this a crossover?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
The Jowick Hobojo if you will.
gellaho
The well-known ritual suicide of the bag lady
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Ah yes, I recall this from my travels. This bag lady is a member of the Black Lotus, a fanatical clan of international assassins! They poison themselves with a cyanide capsule in their molar rather than be caught!"
gellaho
Time for some bag lady espionage
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
That apartment's carpet is doomed tho.
First assassin gets decapped and sprays all over, and now a dead one from poison is shitting all over the carpets.
gellaho
Time to go to the parking garage
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Well that's what they get for having white carpets honestly
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"The bag ladys armor was a perfect fit for the tall, lithe superhuman beauty."
Hahahaha the famous Catacombs of New Denver.
Brendan
I'd feel bad if i decapitated my assassin only to learn they were shooting to stun.
gellaho
The bag lady assassin brigade
