FancyShark
"That's right, readers. No need to panic. My rod will never go wrong."
73: Anti-Grav Unlimited Duncan Long
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There's a new man on the Moon... and old Mother Earth is in for some incredible surprises.
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Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"So we are calling it a cascade resonance. We THINK it might open up a portal to another dimension or someplace like super duper far away?"
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
why is this book still going
Brendan
Space Van 2: Time Van
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
There are clones yet to be fucked.
FancyShark
Because the editor never existed
LyraV
I can't imagine what the side effects of gathering these rods together in a circle could be? Leave us Nikki while we experiment and find out.
gellaho
Everyone clapped
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
To be fair this is like the second or third skeeziest genetic sex deviance Ive ever read.
Brendan
Pride & Prejudice let inertia carry it 100 pages past its conclusion. Sometimes you just let genius do its thing.
FancyShark
"Phil, you can't use that word anymore"
LyraV
Science! Space Rods! All of it! I've lost track honestly.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Beaten out imo by a book with a canonical slave race of compliant furries whos name I cant recall and Sand Kings.
FancyShark
Paddington?
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Woah Woah woah
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
No I remember it being a sci fi book.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Let's don't worry about all that right now
gellaho
That first sentence doesn't really match the rest of this
FancyShark
Space Paddington?
What's a question that's between intelligent and idiotic?
Brendan
How ironic: a parking lot packed with vans, all of them scared to fly.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Wait why would you WANT someone to ask a question between intelligent and idiotic in the first place?!
gellaho
I love that you guys hyperfocused on this when it hasn't returned since like the third chapter
All Kraig this and Kraig that
Brendan
AND AS THE VAN CRASHED DOWN, HE THOUGHT
A van fly in your chardonnayyyyyy
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
We miss Kraig, so sue us.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
yeah I have this weird thing where horrific sex crimes stick in my head
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
He was the closest thing the book had to a real antagonist.
Brendan
A traffic jam when your van can't fly
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Call it a professional hazard, or maybe a lingering trace of my once humanity
Brendan you're a sweetie but the last thing we need right now is alanis
gellaho
All those clone criminals out there
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
And I have ten thousand knives when all I need is a spoon, okay
gellaho
Open Source RODS
Brendan
Thank you for independently confirming Canada sends us its best comedians and worst musicians, Rachel.
Ramb$ne Gracie
All i have is rods and a van when what i really need is a sex clone?
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
fuck you IP law
FancyShark
"You have my blessing to rod it up"
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
The gif library doesnt have a gif of one of the CAstlevania games with the Thousand Blades item crash so imagine that was here.
Brendan
Later that day, the rod-core terrorist bombings began
LyraV
Rods just flying around everywhere, crashing through shit.
FancyShark
By dusk, the world was reduced to Rods and The Hunted
Brendan
Rod powered railguns
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
People just start hucking rods into space, busts a hole in Jupiter.
FancyShark
Like a Quidditch match without any people
Brendan
Orbital bombardment
CURSE YOU ROD
FancyShark
Rods knocking airplanes out of the sky
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
That would solve the Morissette problem
gellaho
On the moon, the bots have created RODS, which have created GATES
Brendan
...did not expect that GIF to mash up
FancyShark
Don't try to go all Neverending Story on us now!
gellaho
There are two pages left in this book
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Stupid shithead Phil realizes he has created a gravity lens that can core a planet when he accidentally turns Mars into asteroids.
FancyShark
Setting up sequel than never happened? SETTING UP SEQUEL?!
Brendan
He really is 2001ing this ending
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Hahahaha is he going Full Lensman?
FancyShark
I'm calling a shot
It ends with "The Beginning"
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I miss kraig
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Oh going Full Lensman is bold for an author this bad.
gellaho
Ahuh
Brendan
Final line: "Reader, I fucked her."
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Also for the record, I warp space
It's not special
gellaho
Trapped?
LyraV
He's chilling with his fuck clone on the beach of your imagination now.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
That's what gravity is. All matter distorts spacetime.
gellaho
Nope
gellaho
OK, nerd
FancyShark
Dammit, did not expect the Desi Arnez ending
Brendan
Checking the atmosphere seems like something you do before your air runs out.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
complicated explanation involving weights, a rubber sheet, and the Trousers of Time.
FancyShark
If the book ended with them checking the air by taking off their helmets and dying, I would forgive everything we just read
gellaho
This was a book about a van
gellaho
And all human problems were solved
The End
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Huh this epilogue might have made a cool idea for a book, Duncan should write o.....nnn..eee................
FancyShark
DAMMIT
They made Mass Effect But Terrible
Ramb$ne Gracie
that's literally the setup for Hyperion
gellaho
We have defeated Anti-Grav Unlimited
FancyShark
WE DID IT!
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
I don't feel like a victor
I feel defeated
FancyShark
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hewvaxaoCu8
LyraV
This one was especially awesome @gellaho thank you!
FancyShark
Thank you, @gellaho !
Fantastic riffing, everyone!
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
When you crush the metaphorical snake that represents fucking your clone sister you tend to feel hollow.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
am I too high or did that ending make no sense and come out of nowhere?
FancyShark
You are and it was
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
And thanks @gellaho
Brendan
wait they still have to travel at c to the next system
gellaho
Weirdly, I think this became Bicycling Through Space and Time at the end
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Yeah it felt like Duncan got bored.
Brendan
Like congratulations on your stargate but you are going to be centuries from setting up the next one.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
vans>bicycles
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
like "Welp, I wrote about a sweet flying space van. Time to hit the ol dusty trail."
LyraV
but the RODS!
FancyShark
"Oops, forgot the food"
1000 Space GDCs
I got a bit distracted by work during this, but nice work everyone.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
The thick, pulsing, hard RODS.
gellaho
That concludes the 73rd Edition of the Book Cage
Brendan
what a strange jaunt this was.
Did I like it?
gellaho
May your RODS fly ever straight and true
Brendan
It wasn't written by an idiot.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I think you did.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Elaborate
Brendan
I think I did.
FancyShark
It wasn't written by a sane person though
Brendan
Can't! Thai food is here. Later space-skaters.
FancyShark
Later, Brendan!
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Bye brendan
1000 Space GDCs
The author obviously knew something about electric motors.
Brendan
thanks, @gellaho You're the rod that drives the book van.
FancyShark
It's dinner time here too. Have a great night, hotdoggers!
Brendan
Also as long as we're talking MVPs, @1000 Space GDCs keeps silent and strikes with one shot, one kill.
FancyShark
GDC: Comedy Sniper
1000 Space GDCs
Aww, thanks.
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
GDC might have the best batting average but Shark has the most overall home runs imo
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
Lyra's my fav
1000 Space GDCs
Yeah, Shark sets a pace I can't keep up with.
gellaho
In many ways I resemble a strange array of RODS
Lehcar, Dog si ym Natas
oh huh it appears that by training in the hyperbolic time chamber that was this book, where every kraigless page went on for an eternity, I have achieved a level of power even beyond super saiyan
or something
LyraV
I've been smoking synthejuana in a Van with Rods for hours, who knows what was or wasn't achieved.