Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Jason's descendants did well for themselves.
80: The Pale Companion Kenneth Von Gunden
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Sometimes, the enemy looks just like you...
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Badgerman
Who's next, Ron Goynzo
gellaho
All of these organizations will develop throughout, without any doubt
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Archimedes Blackguyman.
Badgerman
THRILL as opaque nebulous government agencies are obliquely referenced!
FancyShark
The Shadow Legion have to know they're the bad guys
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Or are ninjas.
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
The Magistracy Principate Legion
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
They could still be ninjas.
FancyShark
@gellaho , is this still the first 25 pages?
1000 Space GDCs
The fact that that wasn't corrected to magistrate is evidence against the existence of an editor
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I'm getting a "Read a few Battletech novels while drunk" vibe.
gellaho
Indeedily
FancyShark
I can't wait to see where this goes
1000 Space GDCs
I was looking for something to do this weekend, thanks.
gellaho
And now: murder hypnosis
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Probably to Hot Paperwork and Trade Negotiation Action
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Since this entire part with Tey has been her communicating exposition with the narrator...couldn't she have just been thinking all of this?
Badgerman
Oh Christ, the hypnotist from today's article broke out of containment
gellaho
Let the death train commence
FancyShark
So he could hypnotize himself into being completely chill about murdering and was worried about finding inner peace
1000 Space GDCs
lift-drop tubes isn't sci-fi, it just sounds like you forgot the word for elevator.
Badgerman
I'm glad we're learning all of this backstory just before or just after their murder
gellaho
Gun time
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Again I thought he had a needle gun?
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
I'm still trying to see how being replaced by a robot is going to somehow be worse
FancyShark
Please be a gun that throws actual slugs
1000 Space GDCs
the pottery gun burned him?
gellaho
But why must I kill
FancyShark
Vibroblade, because fuck copyright
Badgerman
I'M SO SAD ABOUT BEING SO GOOD AT KILLING YOU GUYS
Brendan
I...wow, I'm stumped.
1000 Space GDCs
a slug thrower is a snail thrower with caseless ammunition
gellaho
That's how fingerprints work
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
The vibro part is the butthole stimulator controlled by stabbing with the paired blade.
gellaho
Go read a newscube
Brendan
What have I missed?
Badgerman
Galius Zed
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Zero cyborg fights
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
So much and yet you could start right now and not be lost at all
Badgerman
Galen Yeager accused of cheating at mass murder tournament
gellaho
Real wood, holographic porno
Badgerman
Leafing through a hologram
FancyShark
Dollar General Steele hates being so good at killing. And has no sense of humor but still quips. And has a magical crystal that works as his data assistant.
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
He's also shorter than expected
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Who even reads magazines in the future?
gellaho
BUT WHY MUST I KILL
Brendan
But he's ALL head
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
So off puttingly short that lifts in his shoes are enough to make him utterly unrecognizable
Brendan
...didn't we already have a president varro?
Badgerman
Makes it really easy to keep his head in his torso when he's both all head and all torso
gellaho
Hypnosis seems fun
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Emotionless killing machine is angry that he didn't shoot someone in the face well enough
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Also he's not funny and hates jokes, so Galen is kind of our antithesis.
gellaho
This also really matches up with his description as a famous assassin that he throws up after killing people
Badgerman
He uttered a three syllable word which the audience will never be privy to
gellaho
Hitmen are famously squeemish
FancyShark
Yep. Professionals vomit after-
dammit, scooped
1000 Space GDCs
Galen Yeager: A Land of Contrasts
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Hamburger
gellaho
A common adjective
FancyShark
Lizards do have brown hair. This tracks.
1000 Space GDCs
To be fair that happens when you keep licking your own eyes
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Yes, short heavyset brunettes often call to mind lizards
Badgerman
This author seems like the kind of guy who didn't enjoy The Last Jedi but calling Rian Johnson lizardlike seems a little mean
1000 Space GDCs
Either that or he has a skin condition that people are very insensitive about.
gellaho
If you are wondering what a Doro is, you have approximately 200 pages to wait
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Also everyones names start with the same 4 or 5 letters
FancyShark
Doro the Exploro?
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Heavyset means he has plenty of fat stored in his tail.
gellaho
I'll just tell you now: wolves
Badgerman
Doro! Doro! Doro!
FancyShark
Dororo!
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Dorohedoro
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Wait.. Yeltsin? A place named after a former Russian president?
1000 Space GDCs
Having a planet named yeltsin really dates this book
gellaho
Verboten joy dust
Badgerman
Joyyyyyyydust
FancyShark
"Fist offs" did not do market research on that name
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Better that that Planet Stalin, there's a real shit hole
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
I went to a fist off once, you can never get rid of the smell
1000 Space GDCs
joy dust is such a boring term for space cocaine
gellaho
Cally boys
FancyShark
Especially when you could be referring to glitter
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Yes. Fist off your private ring
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Their ad campaign slogan "Fist on, fist off!" was a hit and they just don't know why.
Badgerman
Yeah, Frank and Joe are very much the Cally boys before anything else
gellaho
Add plascrete to your bingo sheet
Badgerman
And soiled, at that!
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
You know someone is shady when they hang out with Lezzos AND Cally Boys
FancyShark
I'm sure "lezzos" is a term that will never age badly
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Lezzos sounds like a word for lesbians but it's a slur for a race of hybrid reptile legume people.
gellaho
Probably not a great slang term if you have to explain it
Badgerman
Yeah, I remember people getting really mad when Lezzos played that crystal flute in the Smithsonian that one time
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Of course. When I think of money I think of indescribable mass and attraction
Brendan
Lizards are so stocky and hairy.
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
This author needs a thesaurus
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Lmao gravity as a slang for money works so badly
Badgerman
How the flip floppity fuck did gravity come to mean money
gellaho
KING KONG
FancyShark
Wolves: They Have Hands
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Because I think the author sits down to write and then words fall out of him like lezzos at a Cally Boy Doro fight
Badgerman
PUBLIC DOMAIN REFERENCE SO YOU CAN'T SUE ME NEENER NEENER
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
King Kong the wolf......
gellaho
The big bad fight promoter sits imposing in his cuddle chair
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Wolfzilla was right there.
Badgerman
Otto Hyuck
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Just goes to show they'll still be remaking King Kong 2000 years in the future
Badgerman
Literally a Goofy name
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Yeah we get it, lizard guy. You vape. Geez.
FancyShark
I'll never understand why authors think it's impressive to blow smoke rings. Breathe fire or GTFO
gellaho
There is a creature later in the book that is a genetically engineered cross between Doros and humans they call werewolves. Kind of seems like you made a werewerewolf
Badgerman
Wait. There's a fight promoter. And two cyborgs are going to fight.
Is this just an unauthorized Rock Em Sock Em Robots novel?
FancyShark
God, I hope so
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
A huhwolf if you will.
gellaho
His name is BA Realguy and he's got a ring that'll choke a pignose
Badgerman
More like a whuh?wolf
FancyShark
"He asked me to convey that threat to you and to be menacing. Please fill out this feedback card."
godless juice jakesy
I'm just going to assume that Doros are the full grown versions of Doritos and go from there
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
J.J. Coupling is the name I use on the registry at hotels I take sex workers to.
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Better than Ron Mexico
FancyShark
Pre-evolved form
gellaho
"Interplanetary Pimp" is the name of my second funk album
Badgerman
"Said the interplanetary pimp disdainfully"
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Galen put all his effort into looking flashy and settled for a big rock
FancyShark
Pimps are well known throughout the cosmos for their fashion, not just on Earth
gellaho
Ten thousand for one fisting, please
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Some people would appreciate being a space pimp.
Badgerman
Man, inflation's really hitting everybody
FancyShark
"I'm sorry. Did I not properly convey that by speaking in the same way anyone normally would to make a bet?"
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
They call them credits but it's still paper money
gellaho
And now, gas pen
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"You see sir, I wish to engage in skulduggery."
Badgerman
Hahaha fuck this James Bond bullshit
FancyShark
It was filled with fart spray, but they drained it and loaded it with ricin gas
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Galen: Worried about being able to.get his needle gun on planet
Also Galen: Apparently has an entire armoury just on him at all times.
But the Needle gun needed to be smuggled in
gellaho
You're going to love what he implanted in Rian
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
He brought it with him in his hidden compartment. 😉
FancyShark
hahahaha, fucking what?
Badgerman
Yeah, just leave us in suspense, ghostwriter
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
They are serious about making sure everyone gets their Covid booster this year
Badgerman
Also, "freeze tube"
FancyShark
read: Popsicle
wait, ice pop
gellaho
Poor, unimaginative Otto can only imagine as far as renting a sexbot with thousands of dollars
FancyShark
He's a horny Huycker
Badgerman
Take the money and run, Otto! Escape this wretched misbegotten life!
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
I uh...... don't think cobras eat chickens? I'm pretty sure they eat rats.
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Perfect simile. Cobras sure love to eat chickens and the idea of them doing so is very commonplace
gellaho
Seems like he needs some lip balm with all this lip moistening
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Otto is gonna have some chapped ass lips at this rate
Badgerman
A test AND a trap. How novel
1000 Space GDCs
The big cage suspended by a rope was the tip off.
FancyShark
A test and a trap. Like breakfast at Jack in the Box
gellaho
Joy juice
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Put me down
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
This is like the time my high school math teacher gave me a pop quiz and used a bear trap to keep me from escaping.
FancyShark
Tell me you've never been to a party without telling me you've never been to a party
gellaho
Depraved supply train
Badgerman
What can I say, logis party hard
1000 Space GDCs
those are things famous for depravity
godless juice jakesy
Did he mean to say supply chain
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Every word this man puts to paper is intentional
Badgerman
Even if he had it would have made just as much sense, which was "none"
gellaho
I hope you are ready for the most sensual description of a sex act you'll ever see
1000 Space GDCs
The man is a doctor.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Penn State education shows.
Badgerman
COUNTING MOISTNESS WITH HIS TONGUE UHHHHHH
godless juice jakesy
Lol
Badgerman
"Like a tarantula under a sheet"
Stop, please, we can only be so aroused
gellaho
Like a tarantula under the sheet
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
There is no more effective way to signal the end of a conversation than some finger blasting
gellaho
Pure. Sex.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Pussy tarantula, thanks Penn State.
gellaho
Ladies love the tarantula
godless juice jakesy
Generally I've found that yes, women love the spider cooch
1000 Space GDCs
girl's miniscule panties is a phrase that should put you on a lot of lists
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Shaved head IS a look tho.
gellaho
Very next paragraph. And I don't think you are ready for what's next
FancyShark
"Fuck like a tarantula" IS sexy. YOU WERE WRONG, AMANDA!
Badgerman
Spiiiider Sex
Where are you coming from?
Spiiiider Sex
Fingers in every holeee~~
godless juice jakesy
Wait is she going to eat his head after they mate
1000 Space GDCs
That's why I always went after Jack in Mass Effect
gellaho
Glorious
godless juice jakesy
Call of Duty twist!
Badgerman
WHAT
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
There's more than 5G and Chips to worry about in your vaccinations
Badgerman
Also he just murdered like six innocent people in that blast, I'm pretty sure
What a professional
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Nobody is innocent in the future
FancyShark
"I'm pretty sure there's no bystanders"
gellaho
Probably a lot more than six in the illegal fighting pits
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Not where Doro fighting is concer ed
godless juice jakesy
I'm pretty sure the atomic bomb killed more than a few people
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Lol he nuked a whole fucking building but was puking his guts out over a handful of kills.
gellaho
But I'm sure you guys were all happy to learn about Otto's sexual fantasies before he got nuked, right?
gellaho
He's over it
Badgerman
WHY MUST I BE SO GOOD AT KILLING 🤮
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
It was an odd amount of character building
Badgerman
PAGE TWENTY SIX
1000 Space GDCs
It revealed more about the author than I'm comfortable knowing.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Otto is fucking robohos in Heaven now.
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
This author thinks Chekhovs rifle is just a cool name for a gun
gellaho
And now: a list of stupid phrases
Badgerman
Synbacco is my favorite Wookiee
FancyShark
Synbacco means cigarette? So happy sticks must be weed?
LyraV
Happy Sticks would be an alright band name I guess.
1000 Space GDCs
i'm surprised they didn't go with plasbacco
gellaho
Let's just introduce ESP really quick, that'll definitely be important to the story
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Please do not imbibe intoxicants during Warp passage. The Emperor Protects."
Badgerman
Christ, what was it with sci fi schlock and ESP
That shit was everywhere
FancyShark
VERY FEW ships were lost on jumps
gellaho
Certainly not the thoughts of a sociopath
Badgerman
This guy actually thinks the people around him are NPCs
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Neo-Christ.
FancyShark
"I think I'll get a needle gun and mow these faceless shapes down"
Badgerman
CyberChrist
1000 Space GDCs
Those all sound like interesting people, though
Brendan
They solved the Jaunt!
gellaho
Kenneth gets some of his degree work in here
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Neo-CyberChrist!
1000 Space GDCs
actually, isn't this how Hyperion by Dan Simmons starts?
FancyShark
Yes, but that book was good
Badgerman
How fucking dare this man invoke Campbell after nuking a pit fighting arena
gellaho
BUT WHY MUST I KILL
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Kenneth just pops some of his masters thesis into his book
FancyShark
Kenneth couldn't find a way to incorporate the thesis into his narrative, so fuck it, here's the thesis
godless juice jakesy
, maaaaaaaaaan
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Hahaha no, no way are Westerns going to make a comeback in a thousand years.
gellaho
And what is a 'scraper? Do not worry about it
1000 Space GDCs
the fact that you can just stroll up and talk to the captain is a real pre-9/11 conceit
Badgerman
Oooh, ruggedly handsome
FancyShark
Spatula
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Fuckin spacemen dissecting Randy Rides Alone.
Badgerman
Enchanté, mon Capitán
Brendan
You see, in the SYMBOLISM space ITSELF is a sort of FRONTIER
gellaho
"Have you ever, like, thought that, uh, maybe we're actually the insane ones, maaaaaaaaaaaan?"
1000 Space GDCs
a...final frontier, if you will
Badgerman
A frontier that is a character all of its own ðŸ§
FancyShark
I miss being able to discuss philosophy with the captain of the plane
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
The Captain nods, he thinks "This is a totally normal conversation for my day:
1000 Space GDCs
Galen burned down a space joint and thinks he's very profound now.
Badgerman
Captain signals the Air Marshal, who approaches with spacecuffs
godless juice jakesy
This book is so deep, I can't wait for the inevitable rant about the corporations being too corporationy
FancyShark
"Would you like a pin to show you were a brave boy on your flight?"
gellaho
Gotta wonder how the scientists developed this technology if they didn't understand how it worked
godless juice jakesy
"What if the government is actually the bad guys, maaaaaaan"
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
He's been hitting that Venusian Devil Grass.
Badgerman
"The scientists don't actually understand science, maaaaaan"
gellaho
Oooh, that Medusa
Spare The Wad, Spoil The Child
Editor: Hey Kenneth, how does space travel work in your universe?
Kenneth: I dunno. But luckily nobody else does either
Brendan
In the rerelease Great White shot first.