108: The Stalker Nicole Davidson

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

so anyway the dad strangled 2 people and went for a 3rd over an insurance scam? That's the plot?

gellaho

"You are pretty stupid. You didn't even know how 911 worked!"

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

"Goddammit Patty you suck at this friendship thing, what if Troy was the real strangler the whole time?! HAVENT YOU LEARNED ANYTHiNG?!"

"TRUST NO ONE PATTY! TRUST NO ONE!"

gellaho

Probably because he's not, because that's not a thing you can do as a college student

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

did the dad ever confess to almost strangling jennifer?

GDC's Quivering Thews

Because, of course, he was

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

Jennifer is so getting pregnant and is never going to discover that Troy doesnt go for secret FBI training, he goes to visit his second family.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

I swear to christ troy strangled jennifer

Velo Martingale

First family, but yes

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

No the first family is a different day and thats when he does his special forces operations.

gellaho

"I cheated you out of revenge" is a weird thing to put in a book meant for children

Velo Martingale

We've been with Jennifer for 168 pages, we all know she's not first pick

gellaho

But so is "slutty" and "bimbo," yet here we are

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

God Mike at least ask for cab fare.

FancyShark

"As the last penis bearer in my house, I am obliged to be noble and pure"

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

Burn down her house or something.

sexdick jakesy

Louise is the one getting them lucky charms in her bowl every night if you know what I mean

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

What kind of revenge oath did you swear if you dont?"

Its like you didnt even love your brother enough to avenge him.

gellaho

Deep

sexdick jakesy

Wait though wouldn't Jennifer actually get all the insurance money now from the business being destroyed by her dad?

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

Life, like javelinas.

Velo Martingale

it's poetry, it rhymes

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

fffffffffuck off

gellaho

No, they're selling the house and moving into an apartment for... reasons

sexdick jakesy

Oh right the mom

Velo Martingale

Don't want to live in the murder house

Butch and whats his face were in the basement

FancyShark

"At least until dad's body stops smoking"

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

Aw yeah, single ladies apartment.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

oh I thought the desert line was the ending

Velo Martingale

It should have been!

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

Mom is gonna get so much dick.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

it can't be because we haven't revealed that TROY STRANGLED JENNIFER

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

Ben is going to be exhausted.

gellaho

"I'm not looking for a girlfriend" may be the worst opening for a serious relationship I've ever heard

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

a chunk of hair

FancyShark

"Nah. Fuck off, narc"

GDC's Quivering Thews

Not his hair. Someone else's chunk.

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

Its better than "Hey you look half decent when you clean your face, wanna bang?"

gellaho

But that gets Jennifer all riled up

FancyShark

Troy killed a man

Velo Martingale

Yup

gellaho

Her father, specifically

Velo Martingale

Yup

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

"Jennifer.......College isnt like a 24 hour a day thing, you know?"

sexdick jakesy

Just to watch him die

gellaho

And guess what?

That's the end

GDC's Quivering Thews

I pledge my life to you, New Dad

Velo Martingale

Fantastic

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

"I mean mine is obvously pretty loosey goosey with that stuff anyhow considering I just pretended to be an FBI agent and mall cop for six months."

gellaho

We have defeated The Stalker

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

I can't believe that was real

FancyShark

We did it!

sexdick jakesy

Who, uh

Velo Martingale

Thank you @gellaho !

sexdick jakesy

Who was the stalker

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

Oh Kathryn, you write the dumbest shit I love to make fun of.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

I guess her dad?

FancyShark

Exemplary work, everyone! Thank you, @gellaho !

sexdick jakesy

Yeah but he didn't do any stalking!

His killing was reactionary

gellaho

Don't worry about it

GDC's Quivering Thews

Thanks everyone, we couldn't have beaten this without each other.

gellaho

There wasn't a Surprise Party in Surprise Party either

sexdick jakesy

Lol

gellaho

So concludes the 108th Edition of The Book Cage\

sexdick jakesy

Thanks everyone, for beating this off together!

Wait

Wait no

Siri delete

gellaho

May none of your fathers steal from themselves or murder for...reasons

FancyShark

lol

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

Im still quite baffled by the one that implied like sea demon shit and then.......nothing.

gellaho

Look, all the teens starting acting weird due to a demon curse that didn't exist

Kathryn doesn't need to explain herself to you

She just wanted to describe that girl burning to death in excrutiating detail

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

Yeah teens never act weird or moody unless its because of demonic activity, thats true.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

oh dear

Flippant Sausage, rebunned

Every once in a while you get the impression Kathryn writes some of this one handed, if you catch my meaning.

And its not always the parts you welcome that realization.

FancyShark

Mr. @Brendan!™ , your summary:

It was Gary, the assistant manager. Also, it was Jennifer's dad. They were stealing things and planning an insurance scam. When the homeless started seeing them steal things, the two started killing witnesses. It all ended with Gary's arrest and Jennifer's dad trying to fight Troy, but Troy had his college gun and shot Jennifer's dad, who in turn stumbled into the fence he'd electrified in an attempt to kill Troy.

Then Jennifer and Troy made out.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

I don't think troy actually shot him

he just walked into his own electric trap

FancyShark

There is no way for me to verify that

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

haha

FancyShark

Have a great night, everyone!

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

byeeeee

Badger (ENEMY STAND: 『POOP MAN』)

Holy shit, TWO people died in this one?

I- I think that means Kathryn beat her record.

Velo Martingale

Three

Pete, an old timey homes less lady whose name was maybe Eleanor, and then Jennifer's dad

Ozzie

Thanks Shark, I had to bail out for some other stuff, glad to know that it was the insurance money once again. You can't beat the classics.

FancyShark

Anytime, pal!

IT'S ALWAYS THE INSURANCE MONEY!