gellaho
The Book Cage: Episode #122
The Hybrid
I AM A PSYCHADELIC PROJECTOR
I AM A WEAPON OF ATTACK AND ASSASSINATION
I AM GOING TO KILL THEM BEFORE THEY MAKE ME KILL AGAIN
This Friday, 5pm Eastern.
![](https://gellaho.com/rails/active_storage/blobs/redirect/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsibWVzc2FnZSI6IkJBaHBBdnFIIiwiZXhwIjpudWxsLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--2d992edf73e6b5b7ce9ff1829c854b49b370d4b1/The_Hybrid.png)
The Book Cage: Episode #122
The Hybrid
I AM A PSYCHADELIC PROJECTOR
I AM A WEAPON OF ATTACK AND ASSASSINATION
I AM GOING TO KILL THEM BEFORE THEY MAKE ME KILL AGAIN
This Friday, 5pm Eastern.
JAKES! JAKES! JAKES!
With swirly man-titties on the front cover and ALL CAPS on the back cover, it has to be good
This cover looks like a guy in a very problematic Halloween costume.
it kinda looks like you asked Cecilia Gimenez to paint Drax the Destroyer from memory
I AM A PSYCHEDELIC PREVIEW
I AM A WEAPON OF ATTACK AND ASSASSINATION
I AM GOING TO KILL THEM BEFORE THEY MAKE ME KILL IN ABOUT ONE HOUR
Here is your preview
Sick
this looks like the special kind of insane I need to tune in for
Anything from John Jakes is worth a look. He gifted us the greatest sentence ever written.
BOOK
CAGE
Hi, @Velo, Electric Ghost !
Hi, @gellaho !
Hi @FancyShark !
Hi @gellaho !
Time to PSYCHEDELICALLY PROJECT
This time, titty twists YOU
This one's for you, Bob Hoskins
See, the Mario Bros movie IS an underrated movie.
Hi, @Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage !
I see the back combined points 1 & 2
"I can't kill if I've already killed"
hwaet
Hi, @Ferroday is a cat mom, too! !
Well, fatbelly
Green Lantern is very different in this adaptation.
And how wide are his shoulders?
Half as wide as the print
A wide man wide.
Something you would of course call "fatbelly"
A spider mammoth
Ah, as tall as one tall man is tall
"Vestigial Flesh-Node" was my nickname in school
Purple Sun is a sweet spell in Warhammer.
POWER SLING
It's like a musket but instead of gunpowder its powered by guitar solos.
Exact measurements for guns but not people
Little pink flavor stones
"Barney! My flavor stones!"
Hell yes no wonder the white man wants Holoz, its the Planet of Skittles.
ALL THE FLAVORS OF THE RAINBOW!
Unionize your soul men
I like that Jakes isn't going into detail about how a human fucked a bird alien
Kraku claws are great for tattooing
Shiny AND pointy!
Rad
So, one tenth as long as a tall man is tall
They must be watching a scary movie
Probably not great that your ray gun can't survive a bird attack
Damn our tinfoil armor!
Poor planning, you hate to see it.
Hell yeah, Jakes
powered sling with exploding pellets
Hi, @disculpa mi salsa !
hat on a hat on a sling
Kraku is vulnerable when it's mouth is open, like a Metroid boss
Weird that Jakes seems to have an understanding of the English language for this book, when the other books were written in this same time period
Hi, @GDC !
Maybe this was the one that held his attention
It's possible
Sure, let's describe his sunburn before the gaping hole in his chest
gotta know if they're pretty before they're cruelly taken away
This nerd is not having a good day
Who would have thought the guy working for the colonial corps would be racist?
This guy needs to work on his diplomacy
Probably lose some decorum when your rub cage is showing
Or rib, whichever you want
they came from
behind
Both are bad
I am caught up. Also what the fuck. But I am caught up.
Law considers killing the man with his mind powers
Don't know why this is the start of the next chapter, but sure
Earth One, Book Two
So what is this book? Space Scanners?
Kirkland's DOON?
Arbitrary is the best kind of chapter divide
Zimirii or Zimirri? Who can say?
Thruster amd Swamphawk #111
HELLO, @Brendo !
Oh shit we're in a galaxy far away
Zimirri singular, Zimirii plural
Whoever owned this book before me didn't appreciate the duplicate sentences
God damn rogue editors
If Dune is star wars for Tool fans, is this Dune for prog rock enthusiasts?
Oh, and the Omqu trying to use their telepathy hurts humans
There's far too much rad death for that
Damn brain birds tryin' ta make my head blow up
It's fascinating to me that early sci-fi authors seem to avoid the word "human" like the plague
Terrans, Sol men, Earthers
Sexy, sexy brain birds
Oh now I guess I understand how we got the half bird people
Well played, sexy brain birds
Maybe it's a way to signify FUTURE
There's a word I need to look up in there
Its because all lifeforms are human, just purple or green ones. Like in Star Trek, everything is basically a human but some meatloaf on their face.
Hmmmmmm
I hate that I knew that word from elsewhere.
get a good chronometer and you'll never look at a clock again
This Zimirii galaxy is all rocks and nothing else
I bet this was the inspiration for Saga
Move to the Omqu's neighborhood just to complain about all the Omqu. Classic Sol-Men!
So these guys are just the StarCraft Terran marines but more explicitly That Kind Of Southern.
That's ominous
For extra fun read all their lines from now on in a thick Atlanta drawl.
Union...
Pete Seeger intensif..........oh wait probably not that kind of union
I love unions!
The declivity, the turning, the singing village
That seems more annoying than anything else
Imagine if the buildings around you screamed in the wind
Because that's what it would be
If my house started whistling everytime the wind blew, I'd lose my damn mind
My neighbor has wind chimes, those are bad enough
It's like when the fire alarm starts chirping, but all the time
heh, beach house off season maybe
Praying for a day without a breeze
Every house sounds like a recorder
Just my luck I can only afford to live in the building that plays Wonderwall
An entire civilization of jug bands
Those slutty crops
That's right. Sheen those calves.
Oh there are actual buildings that whistle
They are hated
The glowing eyes of psychic judgment
I love tasting conversation
They're right he should kill the human
ugh
Bird people need to kill whitey
They're close talkers
It is written
I like that trying to use your psychic abilities on another species doesn't work
It makes a sort of sense
These people are psychic, why can't he just loudly think "I have to save our hated enemy who wishes to exterminate us"?
Can Law not talk to anyone
He cannot
If they all communicate psychically
So this is hell
Psychic race, still develops hand signals for "I am on a personal mission"
Thats what you get when your dad is a bird fucker.
Well, he can, but they don't want to
He's been blocked
And he knows why
Cinnaberry Crunch would sell here
They're psychic but also conversations use every sense
Birdfucker
Imagine eating beans and starting a war because of smell communication
Andreas "Birdfucker" Law
I skipped this book during the Year of Pain because I suspect that it's too good
The hero of our tale
It's been rad so far
Birdfucker and son of birdfuckers.
Sure, take your time. It's not like his heart is exposed or anything
This is how my last relationship ended.
A long and proud line of birdfucking kings.
This line is very funny and I don't know why
In the future humans will have a lot more blood
It's written like a flex
The future is anime
I don't think you need to adopt a grandchild, but sure
This dud has a chest wound and its bubbly sounding. Hes gonna drown in his own blood before you get hungry.
It's where the feathers are supposed to be
The Terran Sol-Men plotted genocide Earthily.
Very fine people and birdfuckers on both sides, eh Jakes?
You know the dude is going to play this all up to his geology friends when he gets home
I don't think that's a sign of anything other than carrying a dead man
Look nine times out of ten I am anti-genocide
But we have to destroy the psychic bird people
It's probably hard to get along with a species that hurts you when they talk
They hurt when they talk!
Exactly thank you
"These soft, squishy things falling out of the hole in the chest aren't important, right?"
There's a mother-in-law joke there somewhere
From a human perspective these things mush their face into yours in absolute silence and then you feel agonizing pain
The power
Hey, Terrans let themselves into OUR nest
It's important to remember that the Omqu have colonized an entire galaxy
Hey bud, maybe just don't? It's not like the world will miss one blond dipshit.
Just let him croak.
Yeah, THEIR galaxy
Yeah, there probably weren't anyone else there
In the whole galaxy
You say that to Casper Van Dien's face
An entire galaxy of millet
Not sure what this means
Cat interruption for Jakes.
The author is also doing commentary on his writing
Jakes forgot the word for exclamation point
This does not clarify
And he doesn't approve
Oh
Oh oh oh
Ever feel like you've been given a gift but don't know how to use it?
There's no n
Dam
It is a god dam
gd as in geodesic dome?
Okayyyyyyy Jake's doesn't really understand slang and that is fine.
holds back god
What a decision
Law knows what color this guy's muscles are
Red inside
you can probably generate infinite power with a god dam
Also I bet these bird fucks worship the sun
Another reason we need to bomb them
Unless you're running on Buddha. He only sits.
BEEP boop
Buddha does not need power, Buddha is power
Law can't use his people's traditional greeting of running up shrieking with a knife
"Hello Birdfucker. Welcome to the barracks."
Mostly the power to get dysentery and die pooping. Suck it Siddartha, I read your bio.
Caduceus
Wait, is this Jakes? Some part of me always knew.
More power than you've got
I don't see you shitting yourself to death
Yo, they have robots, why are they interfacing with Painbirdmen?
I can poop uncontrollably anytime I want just from eating garlic.
Yeah but to death?
Anyways Birdfucker returns to his people
The commendant is high as balls
And voiced by David Warner
Please, he is the Son of a Birdfucker
You have to be high to run a place like this. All diplomats are high or weird sex goblins.
Yes being far from home requires drugs
That is why the space corps budget is 90% drugs
It's why I take a syringe whenever I need groceries
Law is about to Telltale Heart this dude
Also there's fuck all to do so might as well. It's not like the brain birds have great bars.
Amateur. A tablespoon of baking soda and you don't even have to wait.
Now the desk is getting high
Fun things you discover when you're too poor to afford antacid pills.
So this fucker is floating on an inflatable balance ball, smoking a hallucinogenic cigar, telling the half birdman to go fuck himself
Sark is a boss
Hero
This entire book is just a minority trying not to get shot by cops in his own neighborhood.
New protagonist just dropped. Son of Birdfucker can go admire the goddam
A minority that has colonized an entire galaxy
In Terran star-colony, caterpillar hallucinate YOU!
I think he was talking about Birdfucker being the minority
And the humans, as always, are cops
SPACE COPS
Ten stebbii
And this is why you don't help people who get in accidents. You wait till they die and take their stuff.
"Stebbii, huh? How many manlengths is that?"
It's not robbery if they're dead, it's just pilfering
And Law leaves
You can't be jailed if there are no witnesses so it's a victimless crime, like software piracy.
Just got off work, what's a vaguely correct recap of what I've missed?
But, he is accosted by the man with the strangely colored muscles
Hi, @PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler !
You wouldn't download a Birdfucker
Also my phone is now capitalizing Birdfucker
Psychic half-alien-birdman is dealing with narc humans
He would like to hire Law as a pimp
I knew it!
No. I'd download Turbo Birdfucker II: Champion Edition.
Lascivious?
Law is uninterested, but is hit by an expert wrench-thrower
Yeah. Nudge nudge
He tried to duck before remembering that was a different bird
So, Law melts their brains
Have the humans been Australian this whole time
There's two types of Sol man. Birdfuckers and No Thanks I Have A Headache.
WTF just happened
Kiss of lips big as a universe whose taste was female orange...
So he headexplodes them with rejected song lyrics
Oh that's pretty rad
Oops
I'm sure he's fine
And Law just gave these guys synesthesia, which gives them a tremendous advantage in martial arts butt combat according to this one anime.
How many mustaches did he have
Psychedelic projected him back to baby, to death
So he killed a cop
Damp, weary and limp. Our hero.
That might not go well for Birdfucker
Like the old saying goes: if someone hurls a wrench at you, make them a baby
Hey bud you should not have come here if you do this when you lose your temper.
Not particularly
hahaha
"You've been gone five minutes"
"Frankly I'm shocked at how stupid that was."
"This cigar? Same one I was smoking when you left."
Law remembers the time he accidentally popped a rabbit
"Hey so now your ass is mine and I'm going to turn you into a psychic weapon, okay? Great talk."
Little Bunny Jackfoo
I don't wanna see you
Running after field mice
And exploding your damn head