Derpbat
Such a brilliant idea.
67: Police Patrol: 2000 A.D. Mack Reynolds
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Voted the most popular science fiction author by the readers of Galaxy and If
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Space Action Flippant Sausage
I just used to laugh at how stupid they were in Battletech manuals.
Fatamatician: The Curator
It was a mining nickname
Derpbat
Only technically.
FancyShark in a White Suit
I guarantee this is not what Mack was talking about
Derpbat
Gyrojets would be useless police weapons, because they're less dangerous the closer you are to the gun.
gellaho
Here's your first glimpse of the unwieldy economy Mack is going to try to explain
Ramb$ne Gracie, dead of cuteness
AND TORGUE GUNS USE THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE BADASS! MEEEDLYMEEDLESCREOW! 🎸 💥
Derpbat
No one in their right mind would use them for anything but sniping.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Or wait, I could be wrong
Derpbat
And they cost easily five dollars each.
In 1970s money.
gellaho
And this is a fictional book about a fake future
Brexdan McMoran
what kind of aliens?
Holy shit, the Reagan years must have been wild.
FancyShark in a White Suit
So there's high crime because there are so many criminals. Got it.
Derpbat
I assume the ones we lost the Asian War to.
Brexdan McMoran
There's only so many criminals because it's illegal to be poor.
Derpbat
We ended up giving them half the planet, and
LyraV Galavador Dali Lama
Look I don't know why you're confused, it's aliens who couldn't apply for Inalienable Basic.
Brexdan McMoran
Asian-war
Derpbat
Wait, no, that's a better book.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Like, xenomorph aliens or immigrant aliens? That is important.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
This is... UBI?
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Its right there in the name. In-ALIENable.
Derpbat
Kind of.
Brexdan McMoran
Sorry, buddy, aliens don't qualify for planetary basic income.
gellaho
In Brothers' apartment, they encounter knitting!?
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Lil green men need not apply, everyone knows moon men dont have civil rights.
Derpbat
Knitting?!
FancyShark in a White Suit
I know which one I'm hoping for
Brexdan McMoran
ULTRA-TEXTILES
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Seems like a lot of problems would be solved If they did.
Brexdan McMoran
Tell that to the Republicans.
FancyShark in a White Suit
"She was not ugly". Mack really paints a picture.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Of course, tell us how attractive this non main character woman is.
Brexdan McMoran
So many people knit though, in this, 2022, the year of the Meta-Omega-Textiles
gellaho
Not unattractive, but dumpy
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
This is weird. Does Mack not understand the concept of hobbies?
Space Action Flippant Sausage
We hunger to know how hot she is or is not.
Derpbat
Look, President Al van Whiteguy promised in his 1996 election platform that the aliens would not go on the inalienable basic income.
FancyShark in a White Suit
hahaha, I love how much Mack hates his characters
Brexdan McMoran
Her clothes can't be out of date, she knitted them last week.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
And is she frumpy? HOOOHBOYYOUBET!
Derpbat
I don't know what you want from the police of this fine Zoroaster worshipping city.
gellaho
Tadeusz
Brexdan McMoran
"She was funkable, but like...you wouldn't TRY to funk her. She knits. that's weird."
Derpbat
But that's not the America we live in.
Apparently.
FancyShark in a White Suit
"Because you seem poor"
Brexdan McMoran
Did Poland get nuked? Was there a mass immigration?
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Shit I see why people call him Tad.
Fatamatician: The Curator
Like instant mashed potatoes, but with really good gravy
Derpbat
I know some people named Tad.
gellaho
Very exciting
Derpbat
I wonder if that is short for Tadeusz.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
With a z?
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Any surnamed "Boleslaw?"
Brexdan McMoran
How many gyrojet rocket guns do they own?
Derpbat
Just Tad.
It's weird because it's not like there's an English name they could have used for that.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Like Taditha
Brexdan McMoran
In the futures, Poles are allowed to work in government!
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Dont insult the good English name of Taddicles.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Rock me Boleslaw, Tadeusz!
Derpbat
We really shouldn't be.
gellaho
Just in case you didn't get Brothers' whole deal, here comes Mack to whack you over the head
Brexdan McMoran
They just have to wear red and white uniforms and a badge that says NOT FOREIGNER
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"deadly" gyrojet rocket pistol.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Oh good, a recognizable slur
Derpbat
Well, that took a turn.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Shit.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Good thing he didn't accidentally give them the non lethal gyrojet pistol.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Cant say "Fuck" but can drop a G-bomb
Fucked up, Mack.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Funked up
Brexdan McMoran
Well I guess now we know Charbuddy isn't Vietnamese.
Derpbat
This may be a good fictional book in a fictional future but I refuse to give him any passes now.
Because that seems like a thing he could have taken the time to not do.
gellaho
I can't believe that vigilante that gunned a guy in half would say something something like
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Guys I think these futurepast Zoroastrians who had an Asian-war might be racist a bit.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
He's violent, heavily armed and racist. no wonder the cops love him.
Derpbat
Yeah, it's too real now.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Is this the face of a man who would write racisms?
Derpbat
That's my point.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
So this guy is an Asian War veteran, and Mack will drop a slur, but not even specify which Asians he's slurring?
Derpbat
I mean.
It is specific.
It's specific to the Vietnamese.
Brexdan McMoran
It's a great book if you go back in time to 1977 then forward to the dystopian 2000 then back to the 1977 that could have birthed it. You have to Zag where our reality Zbigniews
FancyShark in a White Suit
Asians. From the country of Asia.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"HEY CHERYL! Whats a good word for those guys who live over in Asia?"
gellaho
Wizard!
Derpbat
Federal Enforcement Assistance Administration
Brexdan McMoran
All Asians. It was the Asian-war. Look, this really isn't complicated, 33% of the planet deserves to live in squalor for being slightly less than human.
Like what do i have to explain to you?
Derpbat
In the 1970s. Invented Dick Tracy watches.
I love it.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Fuck you, Mack. Nobody will ever yell "WIZARD!" to mean "Cool!"
FancyShark in a White Suit
"Yeah, I know how the technology works, asshole. You don't have to Jim-splain it."
Derpbat
Mack, you won me back.
More Dick Tracy watches.
Less of whatever that was.
Fatamatician: The Curator
WIZARD!
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Jim Kelly might be slightly racist himself to his Polish-German partner.
Unless Tad gets to do some exposition dumping.
gellaho
She was afraid, but like afeared of being afraid
FancyShark in a White Suit
"You mean piss?"
gellaho
I don't think the Irish monkey would do that
FancyShark in a White Suit
"I think she had cats. I smelled piss. Maybe that's the fear you smelled."
Derpbat
This is a version of the year 2000 where cops are genuinely confused when people fear them.
gellaho
But nevermind all that, we're about to spend a lot of time with small time criminal Red Moran
FancyShark in a White Suit
Complicated clocks. THE FUTURE!
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Living-cum-bedroom.
LyraV Galavador Dali Lama
There's a room I'd hesitate to sleep in.
Derpbat
Wow, he almost got the way we use our phone screens right.
That's pretty impressive.
gellaho
Cash and credit are two separate concepts
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Is the bedroom or the cum the living part?
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Rex Moran, Living Cum!
Derpbat
One pseudo dollar.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Depends on how long since he cleaned
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Also do they have two different welfare currencies?
Fatamatician: The Curator
Tiny houses think they get so much in, but never offer the full living-cum-bedroom experience
gellaho
Mack Reynolds is really going to try and make shares, dividends, cash, and credit all one thing
He will not succeed
FancyShark in a White Suit
Just say Euro, Mack. We'll know what you mean.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Oh fuck, they have free-to-play monetisation with multiple currencies!
Derpbat
BUT IF YOU DIE IN THE FREE TO PLAY GAME OF THE FUTURE, YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE.
gellaho
I'd like some credit bucks from my dividend debit, please
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"Goddammit Rex, if you dont put more time in at the dick sucking factory category, you'll never afford that horse armor DLC."
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
a pseudo-dollar is just a bit coin.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Dividends..........
gellaho
I'd like to know what congressman decided he needed to futurize "dollar"
Fatamatician: The Curator
He is gonna make it Pseudo-rain
Space Action Flippant Sausage
And skipped over Neo-Dollar.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Do you need to own electro-stocks to get dividends?
Derpbat
I assume this means the US collapsed hard.
You never add an adjective to your country's currency for good reasons.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Fun Bucks are the work of the devil
gellaho
Your credit dividend loans
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Also we wont even stop making pennies even tho they cost 5x more than they are worth.
FancyShark in a White Suit
"Same to you! Oh, wait, that's my name."
Derpbat
You mean pseudo-pennies.
gellaho
No insurance though
Brexdan McMoran
It's cool how much of this he absolutely lands while also making all the characters like a B&W episode of dragnet.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
To be fair this is still an improvement over the current welfare state.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Bitch, if he's being charged interest, the fuck do you care?
Derpbat
I think he's paid to pretend to care.
Brexdan McMoran
He's got tap to pay phone tech but also a twitchy irishman has the goods on Norm Schmidt: GERMAN, see?
Space Action Flippant Sausage
fuck you, give Rex Moran his goddam money.
Derpbat
That's how you know this is optimistic science fiction.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Who cares what he wants it for!
Derpbat
Or Mack wants it to be.
LyraV Galavador Dali Lama
I mean yeah, someone actually spoke to him instead of being locked behind hours of paperwork
Brexdan McMoran
Just NFTs man
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Obviously its for funking.
LyraV Galavador Dali Lama
It all comes back to funking doesn't it?
Derpbat
Yeah, Rex Moran should be allowed to get Rex Moran into as much debt as Rex Moran wants.
FancyShark in a White Suit
You can't stop the funk
Derpbat
He's got a Rex Moran lifestyle to uphold.
gellaho
Ye old ultra-market
FancyShark in a White Suit
Thank god he squared his shoulders or he could have hurt something
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Mack is really into these backhanded descriptions like "Not unpleasant to look at"
Derpbat
Thank God his broken nose doesn't make his face unpleasant.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Mack is so non-commital on these appearances
gellaho
Rex's next brilliant plan: a stick up with a $0.77 toy
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Although I guess the government fucking you around and being patronising about welfare payments is pretty realistic.
Derpbat
Rex Moran's face is how he gets the funk to happen.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Also how often in future war do you get into hand to hand combat to break your nose?
Derpbat
Wait.
That escalated quickly.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Hahhhhh Rex Moran is gonna rob an ultra-liquor store with a fake gun.
gellaho
The fuck is a library booster
FancyShark in a White Suit
Because this plan works out great for little kids with squirt guns
Derpbat
He didn't get another advance on his credit and his next move is pretend armed robbery?
FancyShark in a White Suit
Someone who fucking loves libraries
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
I dunno, future microfilm viewer?
Derpbat
What does he do if he doesn't get the right sauce with his mcnuggets?
Brexdan McMoran
I'm a fan of UBI because it does a way with a fuckton of bureaucracy and also doesn't displace the bureaucrats into the gutter to starve. But interest-based advancements sounds exactly like how we'd immediately screw it up.
FancyShark in a White Suit
They stand outside and scream themselves hoarse whenever they see someone check out a novel
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Jihad.
gellaho
Time to rob an old man with a recently deceased relative
Brexdan McMoran
I'm not anti-book I'm pro-screen. Pray the rosary to end reading
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Yells "I'm pickle Riiiick!"
FancyShark in a White Suit
"Jerry Jerome? The porn director?"
Derpbat
I don't know if it's practical because inflationary pressures would eventually render it nonsensical, but I agree that it's worth exploring.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Oh Mr. Vassilis runs a gyro stand, I can feel Mack struggling to find a way to tell us.
Brexdan McMoran
Only Greeks can be aristocrats.
Derpbat
And I am impressed that Mack thought about it as much as he did.
In the 1970s.
gellaho
The john-fuzz
FancyShark in a White Suit
<throws garbage>
"Get lost, techie! Books for liiiiiiiiiife!"
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Vassilis, Space Aristocrat, with Cyber Monocle, Turbo Top Hat and Jet Cane!
Brexdan McMoran
Well, that's why you need to pair it with modern monetary theory and just delete the excess. The bonus is no more taxes.
Brexdan McMoran
Gyro-JET rocket stand
Derpbat
Worth an exploration but ideally before we roll it out full-scale.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Shitter cops are the worst cops.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Luxury Hover Yacht and Poor Pit sold separately
Brexdan McMoran
He's rich, but he's not like...owns a rancor rich.
Derpbat
Rex, don't do it, you have so much funk to give.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
He has a time-share rancor.
FancyShark in a White Suit
The guys at the club always remind him of that
Derpbat
You'll never be able to funk it up in prison.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Youll never take Rex Moran alive, shitter police!
Derpbat
This universe is way, way too white for that.
gellaho
The plan was a cropper
FancyShark in a White Suit
"Well, Vassilis. Are these real blood diamonds or did you just use them to shave? Ahahaha"
Brexdan McMoran
https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/come+a+cropper
TheFreeDictionary.com
Brexdan McMoran
This is some paleofuture for sure.
gellaho
Maybe I should have thought this plan through more
Derpbat
I'm not sure you can read between the lines correctly, buddy, you're planning a robbery with a toy gun you brought with your own credit card on a monitored line.
You ain't Moriarty.
FancyShark in a White Suit
"This worthy was a stiffish type"
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Rex Moran gets denied a loan, robs Greek Dracula.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Escape sanctum?
gellaho
A butler and stamps!? What luxury
FancyShark in a White Suit
That feels like an oxymoron
Derpbat
Sounds vaguely metabaronish.
Brexdan McMoran
Rex Moran is hijacking this book and sailing it to Panama.
Derpbat
Also, I like how this plan didn't even have a chance to get implemented because he immediately hit the fail clause.
Brexdan McMoran
I laughed for a solid half-minute.
FancyShark in a White Suit
A philatelist? You can tell that by-
oh, stamps. Right
Derpbat
It's like the last time I went on a date.
gellaho
Goggling at the romp
Brexdan McMoran
In the year 2000, people mailed letters.
gellaho
You don't say
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"You LIED TO MY BUTLER?! DASTARD!"
FancyShark in a White Suit
You Don't Know Jerome was an early first draft of You Don't Know Jack
Brexdan McMoran
I want the stamp, see?
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
It's the British version, like Where's Wally / Waldo.
gellaho
Rex Moran seductively rattles a gun
Derpbat
I admire his insistence on trying the plan anyway, even though there is another person there, the one thing that would cause his plan to fail.
That's determination.
FancyShark in a White Suit
"Here's a hint: I'm NOT happy to see you"
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"Is that a cock in your pocket or are you robbing me?"
Brexdan McMoran
It's actually called "Oi! You Lot, Where's Jerry, Eh? Wot? Come Off It, Then!"
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
it's his penis-cum-pistol
Derpbat
Also you broke into his house and the only way he will have access to his wealth is by using the secured line to communicate with the authorities.
Rex, you idiot.
gellaho
I have to take the vacuum tube to the lobby, like a peasant
FancyShark in a White Suit
Which means another phone call to get the old man's dividends
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"Ahura Mazdas Mighty Mullet you are a rich motherfucker."
Brexdan McMoran
"Phone up the government and instruct them to transfer pseudo-$15m to Rex--uh, I mean RALPH O'Moran"
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
That's the chav version. The posh version is "I say, are you acquainted with my dear chum Jerome?"
Brexdan McMoran
hol up
gellaho
$42,000, a kingly sum
Derpbat
He's buying a real gun.
This
Brexdan McMoran
The city only got built so large because it's a series of pneumatic Prime tubes?
Derpbat
I don't.
FancyShark in a White Suit
Yeah, @Derpbat . This way, they can't trace the gun to him.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
"Amesha Spentai's Shapely Shivs! You shall deposit this money to my accounts forthwith!"
gellaho
Might as well do this up brown
gellaho
With some film, the most expensive thing in all the land
FancyShark in a White Suit
That implies it could be said in a way that isn't conversational
LyraV Galavador Dali Lama
Yeah I mean you don't want to be all down lavender.
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
A Polaroid camera, the photography tool of the gods.
Brexdan McMoran
I would like to amend my vote to one of confidence.
Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
'do this up brown' means he got the sepia-toned film.
Brexdan McMoran
He committed no crime until he reached the nucleus, then he ordered up the means to victory.
Derpbat
I mean, at this point sheer chutzpah should pull him through.
gellaho
And some sports rope
Brexdan McMoran
That sounds like a sexual threat.
Space Action Flippant Sausage
Sports rope is just regular rope with taurine and salt.
Brexdan McMoran
GO REX GO
FancyShark in a White Suit
"Operator, I want to talk to a length of rope"
Manyxe, Snow Wizard
Yeah I mean, this is like John Dillinger using a soap gun to escape from prison.
Derpbat
I don't like where this is heading. I love it.
Brexdan McMoran
The people's hero, the dillinger of 2000AD
gellaho
Derpbat
Rex, you are my hero.