Shark Puke Fetishist GDC
Being distracted from mortal danger by tits is a running theme here.
Being distracted from mortal danger by tits is a running theme here.
I'd certainly rather think about tits than dying
Miller doubts the authenticity of a warding amulet, despite everything
Fuck you Miller, she has done ACTUAL MAGIC to YOU!
It's some of Adam West's shark repellant
After anime week I don't like 'young' used as a description of a sex object
She's very excited to meet this shark
Off theme for Egyptian shit, but sharks ARE cooler.
It's monocle glistening in the light.
Yeah. Smart and sexy ladies are always eager to meet sharks, according to the ads I get
She's gonna end up riding that fucker.
Seems legit
Don't tell the samurai about the sharks moustache, they'll try to decapitate it.
oh man, one of my ancestors fucked an orca?
NEW FRIEND GET!
Mara rolled a natural 20 on Soothe Beast
Someone let the dolphins mate with the sharks
HOW DID YOU FIND THAT FOLDER, DORN?!
I mean, uh...
That's weird
It was just going to happen, the feud between shark and dolphin would have to produce a pair of star crossed lovers at some point.
I'm pretty sure something that large can't do that trick
Romeo and CHOMPCHOMP is one of my favorite plays
And the guards were watching the whole fucking time.
Thanks for explaining, Miller
Cos like.........the fuck do you do when your guard whale decides it has a new best friend?
They didn't attack because they didn't want to get caught in the blood spray, Miller!
God......Miller you dipshit, they KNOW SHES THE MONSTERS NEW BUDDY!
So, did Osiris get lost or what
I love how Miller assumed they were getting out of his way and not mara's
It doesnt HAVE to be divinity, it can just be fear of pissing off the critter with gnashing teeth.
OSIRIS WILL HAVE VENGEANCE ONCE THIS DOOR HANDLE COOPERATES!
dammit, do you have to push or...?
And so.........does the 1997 anthropology professor or the bronze age witch know how to drive a submarine?
Well, he flew in Desert Storm
So, no
Fuck it tho, give the wheel to Mara, shes already doing great.
Probably should have expected that
Miller starts up the sub and immediately obliterates a group of kids.
She is entirely correct to treat Miller like he's a baby.
I hope this hellish future is all because he never informed Cook's son about his father's death
"WHERE WERE THEY KEEPING THEM?!"
Squidsub, sure
Sweet.
In the hands of a competent writer some of this book would be amazing.
Now it's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
I'm very pro squid sub.
I feel like if the chair is breaking, you'd have much bigger problems before then
It reminds me of Dreadfleet and its little mini what is literally a steel squid ship.
Osiris, well known for his fleet of submarines.
For exploring the oceans of...Egypt
I like how Mara has picked up more English than Miller has......lets say Gaelic or whatever.
And I am a moron
Mara is speaking English, she just had a really thick Scottish accent.
It's a Fisher-Price driving wheel. The actual controls are over by Mara
Mara is doing the thing where you give your younger sibling the second controller while playing a single player game
Sure, why not
This is her book now.
Fuck yeah, flying submarine!
But they're underwater...
NOW FLYING SQUIDMARINE!
Miller, did you kill us?
Wait, I think I've got it
This is one of Brockway's CYADFAs
How much experimentation do you need to find the non-lethal speed?
He ran over so many dolphins before he found cruising speed
Or eagles, the dolphins of the sky
Miller confident that he knows where he is
Miller, you have to pilot a hoversub like you live the rest of your life, full throttle and break the handle the fuck off.
Sure, California or Mexico. They're right next to Tahiti
And Northern Europe.
All in approximately the same area.
Miller did it as he did all things, effortlessly, perfectly and without any thought or reason.
And moistly.
And without Cook
How big could the west coast of the Americas be?
Safely covered the Pacific Ocean but still had enough time to notice the Golden Gate Bridge was missing before plowing into a mountain
Back for seconds
Everything he's seen definitely indicates normal earth geography
I'm glad he's figured out where he's going because I forgot that he had someplace to be.
joke's on him he overshot it and landed in the Sacramento Delta
crashed his sub in a rice paddy
One, Mara fucks who Mara likes. Two, it ain't you Miller.
"He'd become used to her face"
Dorn, you hopeless romantic
Yet.
What!? A ship in the Time Blender? Impossible!
My dude when you wanna end a relationship with a woman on a submarine, all you have to do is push.
Time Pirates!
What happened after stabbing?
Apparently Egypt?
That's what you should do when encountering a whaling ship. Dive.
He was confounded by the trickery of Osiris!
They stole a submarine from an Egyptian god
They successfully escaped Osiris and his fleet of air subs.
They stole the Nautilus and befriended an orca/shark hybrid
Mara continues to be rad.
What? A harpoon? Who could have foreseen!
Oh shit, Liddy's after them!
Man we need to send Liddy some kind of gift basket or edible arrangement after this week.
I think she's going to get so much revenge on Brockway at some point
The water stopped after they reached the surface? Weird
Sounds like witchcraft
Its almost like they were in some kind of.....UNDERWATER BOAT!?
They got a sub!?
Fuck yeah they did!
From Osiris!
And it turns into a hovercraft!
Was it the real Osiris?
Lord of Submarines.
NO!
They got his head wrong!
An Australian computer voice tells him where the slurp button is
It was a double fake Osiris!
With an australian accent.
Aussiris.
Osiris lived in the city from Flushed Away for some reason
Wasn't the Moon Knight hippo goddess Australian too?
Osiris was an Australian hologram with the wrong animal head
Wakka wakka
I'm still really mad they fucked up the head!
OSIRIS HAS A HUMAN HEAD! MICHAEL DORN!
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
Miller do you think they weren't trying to catch whales but maybe sky subs?
"Speaking of thick cables..."
"We're about to die."
Also fuck Miller for assuming Mara is going to panic at some point.
When all you have is a harpoon gun, everything looks like a whale.
Well, sharks round two
YES!
SAVE MARA! KILL MILLER!
Sweet!
I have no idea why this is in this book
Also this went from "Subs and harpoons" to "EXPLOSION" so quickly!
Miller then realizes all the pirates were children
Miller really needs to learn the principle of "Fuck that guy, they harpooned my flying submarine."
Well, now he's got a bunch of sailors
You harpoon my sub, killing you is morally and karmically neutral.
Feeding a shark redeems you enough to avoid ball torture in hell
Also Mara is a shark whisperer so I'm sure if you ask her she can save them.
Make sure to introduce new redheads late in your book
"BOO HOO I BLEW UP YOUR SHIT IN A RAD FIREBALL!"
I read that as "Captain Grover" and got very excited
Oops, there go more sailors
Aw that would have been rad.
And there goes Miller
The murder tally is getting up there.
"Oooh, right, the wave of teeth and screams"
Woop!
Fair enough
hahaha, scooped you, Dorn!
Mara ๐ Has ๐ it ๐ Covered ๐
Good thing there were more morons to pilot the sub
Tho maybe she will take up with Captain Grover and make lovely ginger babies with a stalwart man of the sea?
Ah, Zeus
Just......anyone but Miller.
Fuck you, Zeus!
Time to jump to some conclusions
How dare you, Miller
Mara knows what a Hitler is
STOP HIS DUMB ASS HEART WITH WITCHCRAFT!
The world's most unnecessarily complicated plan
Yeah threaten the shark lady at open sea, you fucknut.
Miller finds time traveling alien more believable than competent woman
She fucking stabbed that dude in front of you, you think she cant take you?
Seems like a weird detail, but fine
Oh, she's Gal Gadot
๐คจ Thats a hell of a jump from Gaelic.
Okay. Maybe she does look Druish.
It's that Irish part of Israel
MICHAEL DORN TONY MILLER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN HISTORY
"We need you to kill a bunch of children."
"I was made for this."
"Certain things?"
"Mouth stuff, mostly."
"The authors haven't written why yet"
"Well, that's fine by-"
"On the sharks."
TIME BLENDER
"Why do yall want time fucked?"
"It's complicated."
I mean it seems pretty rad to me.
Some sort of Hour Mingling
That's the name of the book!
HE SAID THE THING!
See?! It's a good story!
Give us a sequel, publisher!
Just like in Star Wars.
You know, natural things. Like, MEGACRYSTALS
THIS IS PHOTON!
Crystals are rad.
Number one mystical material for 2000 years running.
THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO
Actually, this sounds more like Final Fantasy
I wonder where Michael Dorn might have gotten this idea for these
Ive been watching that for the last couple days!
Some kind of people combined with technology and computers
๐ค Like some kind of.....science machine man.....a sci-borg.
A machinaman
Or a...Steele
TM Michael Dorn LTD.
Gellaho didn't want to be part of Anime Week, but it turns out Book Club had other plans.
Goddamned future hippies
"they glued a bunch of laser pointers to their heads for some reason."
"There are only 'police actions' and 'military interventions'."
I like how Miller got told that a group of people with a name like "Bodhis" are the bad guys and just rolled with it.
And the Time Blender fixes the planet... that's already been saved by future hippies?
Why do the future hippies want to time blend if they already saved the planet in the future?
The Moment Amalgamate
"Hello. I'm beloved TV and film star Michael Dorn, and I've read most of Ender's Game."
No dorn, those are daleks. You're stealing from the wrong franchise!
So they can fuck across all time and space.
Without having to go so goddam far.
This is one of those stories that was unfilmable in 1997 and would be so rad now.
Living an idyllic life in a community inside a rad crystal leaves you a lot of time for fucking.
I can't shake the feeling it would look like Ready Player One
Future possession
Then again maybe they have some kind of internet crystals.
God Miller is real slow on the uptake.
"Wait, Cook was possessed? Why didn't he say so?"
"Yeah, but when we do it it's like, organic possession, man"
Like he hadn't yet cottoned on to the fact Cook was housing a psychic projection.
scooped by the Shark
This book is starting to lose its center.
Its becoming............BLENDED!
You...really want to use that word, Dorn?
"It's like a spiritual co-op, maaaaaan"
Starting to?
That implies there was one
"No the result isnt.......ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!"
God Miller you just...you're so dense.
"We can't make someone do anything he wouldn't normally do. Like neglect an open head wound or forget about his family."
No wonder it's not centered. When's the last time Miller did any tai chi?
"MILLER! My eyes are up here! Pay attention, this is the goddam time future stream we are trying to save!"
"I feel like I should still unblend time, you didn't really give me a good reason not to"
Miller wondered. What were the boobs trying to tell him?
"Im not going to try and persuade you, because I've already told you all the things that will happen if you fuck up. That by itself should have done the trick."
That's how animals behave, sure
HIS CHANCE OF SUCCESS WAS ONE IN SEVEN!
Impossible odds
How many pages of plot explanation was that?
Two? Maybe?
Future robot men never did understand probability, because past writer men dont.
it was like ten, but I still don't really understand the time blending
Time blending means it was technically no pages and all pages.
It kind of sounds like they already solved the future, so the time blending plot seems pointless
If Miller doesnt do the ..........thing..... then the book has to be reread out of order.
It's the only way.,
Wait what the fuck is Miller doing? I forgot.
Friendly reminder that there's a random sailor hanging out now for no reason
These nudists seem cool.
Future bikinis, sure
Probably like tinfoil patterned and shiny.
The MEGACRYSTAL causes many cases of blindness
Like science man jumpsuits in a Godzilla movie.
So much Windex has to be used on the Megacrystal each day
Fucking what?
"Blinding onlookers for miles around is basically our main mode of defense from the robots."
Birds are constantly smashing into it.
Bats too, because the psychic emanations confuse echolocation.
Some nude janitor has to go over parts of it with a toothbrush.
Sure, buildings are psychic agreements. This all is very accurate.
If you think about it, alot of things are psychic agreements.
Their experiments with the glintstone crystals went awry.
Like pissing in the bathroom and not your bosses desk.
Frank's my favorite
Joe is the crystal
Man imagine being the Frank in that place.
Yeshiva, Arno, Isolte,and...Frank
Everyone else is a Yeshiva or a Chandrasekhar or a Moonflower and you're fucking Frank.
Frank son of Incense and Myrrh
Everyone is real nice about it and that makes it worse.
that would be invasive
"Hey, you guys are laughing at me."
"Shut up, Frank."
"No, I won't tell you why it's important"
Page 238 of 257, and we're still just laying down track.
Man he is really pissed about all this people being nice and clean air and free nudity.
It's called "plausible deniability". It holds up in court!
I'm reaching my tolerance for hippie nonsense
He noticed all the butthole pucker marks on the megacrystal benches
hahaha, they have a Thinking Spot
Limit surpassed
Fuck yeah I was just about to say they were gonna plant ass on them blobs.
Hey, remember when you were being chased by a bastardized version of the Egyptian god of life?