I got you Rachel for Christmas
He should AND he's great at it
81: Godslayer Mickey Zucker Reichert
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The gods had claimed him for a quest that would lead from the hell of human war to the very gates of Hel!
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Badgerman
Like, there's no way this scheme works
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Or win? I dont really know what the stakes are anymore.
I got you Rachel for Christmas
"You fool, Loki! You've just given me another reason to sob like a baby!"
Badgerman
You're not even in the right zip code to Snap all Christians out of existence
gellaho
His given a vision of a happy life, but that doesn't last because
FancyShark
His blubbering is over 9000!
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
VIETNAM INTENSIFIES
gellaho
You know, only tragedy allowed
FancyShark
Saved by Viet Fucking Nam
Badgerman
I can't fucking believe she decided this was about Christendom this whole time.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Yeah I also love remembering how I danced with my boyfriend Terry and I left sweat stains on his dress.
FancyShark
There you go, veterans. You suffered so Norse Mythology would lose
Badgerman
I wanted to make the observation that this was every bit the novel that a white Republican housewife would write but I thought it was too mean. But then it came true.
gellaho
Comes out of that and kills Loki anyway
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Oh shit is Larson John McCain?!
1000 Space GDCs
Thanks to their sacrifice, Odin was not powerful enough to defeat jesus
Brendan
Jacob's Ladder, but it's the Yggdrasil
I got you Rachel for Christmas
The original draft of american gods sucked
Badgerman
I can't believe I'm saying this but don't insult McCain by comparing him to this goober
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
To be fair they have things in common, like a fondness for using a certain slur to describe Vietnamese people.
And are both dead as hell.
gellaho
Gaelinar kills Helblindi, who isn't a sword any more
Badgerman
You have no flaws and that's what doesn't make you a hero???
Whaaaaaaaa
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Im no hero, so I'm not a little bitch."
gellaho
I guess there was a time delay?
FancyShark
"I'm no hero. I'm awesome."
I got you Rachel for Christmas
Yeah Gaelinar is th perfect being i guess, whatever
Badgerman
You ever get the feeling that sometimes a story is about the wrong character
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
More evidence that maybe they should have given Larson just a bread knife or something.
gellaho
Vidarr magically fixes Al's PTSD
gellaho
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
"Oh hey you used that soul devouring sword to kill your girlfriend. Should have picked up the dagger on level 3."
FancyShark
See, veterans? Just befriend a god and it can all go away
Badgerman
Brainwashing for the troops!
These epigraphs have meant fucking nothing by the way
I got you Rachel for Christmas
CBT hasn't got shit on Vidaar
1000 Space GDCs
Just rewiring up Al's brain like he's Data
FancyShark
Depressed? Ask your doctor if Vidarr is right for you
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Just in time for the guilt of murdering his own girlfriend to set in.
1000 Space GDCs
Vidarr had to do a really intense hacking minigame on Larson's brain.
gellaho
Gaelinar spends a long time messing with his weapons. Al has some issues with that
FancyShark
No Nam flashbacks to compete with THOSE nightmares!
I got you Rachel for Christmas
"I also gave you a fetish for women wearing bowler hats. Just for fun."
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
At least give him an immortal regenerating goat, Vidarr. Hook a dude up.
gellaho
Time to go steal some souls
👽 Trash from the Mo-Bot War
I love that I just popped into this channel randomly and - from my few attendances in previous readalongs - there is genuinely no telling which CBT you mean
Brendan
I missed when Silme died but I also missed when she decided Larson didn't suck.
I got you Rachel for Christmas
"I can't cry," said Gaelinar, "because you've apparently got a patent on it, you little bitch."
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Could just be a shortening of Cibatta, could be Cognitive Behavorial Therapy.
FancyShark
I hope Larson and Silme end up like Orpheus and Eurydice. Dead and in hell
I got you Rachel for Christmas
There are no bad options
Brendan
Bramin could have brought his princess back anytime.
1000 Space GDCs
Also that brain rewiring seems like it didn't take. Maybe double check your work, Vidarr
gellaho
And we end with Al finally remembering that kid he promised to raise
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
And its like they are in the game Hades so Silme is Totally Over It.
Brendan
GF is a CBT psych, I'll let her know all her hard work could have been replaced by an apathetic sword.
Badgerman
All of this could have been avoided if Bramin had made a sex golem and Henry Kissinger had been hit by a speeding Fort Mustang
FancyShark
Larson: Volatile Victor, Virulent Bigot, Vidarr Vehicle, Vapid/Vanilla Victimizer, Vacillating Vendor, Vicarious Veteran and Vomiting Virgin of Vietnam will not be back in Thunderball.
gellaho
We have defeated Godslayer
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Holy alliteration, Batshark.
I got you Rachel for Christmas
I love that your girlfriend and I are both CBT pros, sort of.
Brendan
So souls are like rings down the drain? You can still save 'em by removing the S-pipe?
FancyShark
We did it!
gellaho
You may be surprised to learn there were actually sequels to this
I sure as hell was
Badgerman
May it never find an uncondemning world nor a god who believes in it
FancyShark
It took some effort, Flippant Chum
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Hahahah what? Miriam thought this was a saga, huh?
Brendan
Well met, fellow book travelers!
I got you Rachel for Christmas
Oh no
Brendan
So you can only die once but you can come back, and then I guess what, you're undead?
gellaho
Thus concludes the 81st edition of The Book Cage
1000 Space GDCs
does he go get his war criminal buddies out of hel, too?
Badgerman
Sadbois Die Twice
gellaho
And may Miriam Zucker never dedicate a book to you
FancyShark
I think it's like how Kratos keeps leaving the underworld?
Thank you, @gellaho !
Brendan
Nicaragua, Iraq, Afghanistan, Iraq again...
FancyShark
Thank you for all the great jokes, everyone!
1000 Space GDCs
Good job, everyone.
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Thanks, @gellaho! This one was pretty..........exceptional.
Badgerman
Good cage, everyone!
I got you Rachel for Christmas
Thanks for being a bright spot in a shitty day, everybody.
Brendan
Boy, this one was a pip.
FancyShark
You too, Rachel
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Thanks for coming!
Brendan
Rex Moran wouldn't visit this place with a ten-foot staff.
FancyShark
And he's the man
Brendan
My vote is @Badgerman for MVP.
I got you Rachel for Christmas
And always remember to SHAVE!
FancyShark
Fuck yeah. Go, @Badgerman !
Badgerman
Aww, thanks! From a Hotdog alum that means a lot 🙂
gellaho
It is unbelievable she had the gall to put that dedication there
And I'm pretty sure dad wasn't pretending, he was trying to help Miriam out
Badgerman
It would have been less offensive if she'd gone to Arlington and actually pissed on soldiers' graves
FancyShark
Sheila Gilbert told her all the slurs
Badgerman
Oh my god you're right
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Raymond Feist...........YOU FUCKER!
Badgerman
Joel, I was harsh on you before, but maybe your failing was you didn't go far enough
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Raymond Feist! YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!
FancyShark
Janny Wurts must've drained a box of wine after this
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Joel Rosenberg: You should have slapped harder.
Maybe teamed up with her dad.
gellaho
Wikipedia weirdly vague
Badgerman
Parts Unknown, Iowa
EvilJ(Naboo had it coming)
she's from, somewhere
Horse Boxing Flippant Sausage
Look, nobody from Iowa will tell you what town they are from unless they are from Iowa City or Des Moines. Otherwise you just get a blank look like "Where?", cos its all shit like Cumming or Muscatine.
Brendan
That usually means there was a 40-year-old fanzine interview where she just says "I grew up in Iowa."