gellaho
Make sure to keep extensive records of your duplicitous activities
122: The Hybrid John Jakes
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He was a hybrid - half human, half Omqu - with the strange mental power to wipe out the universe
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PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
Certainly, this will not enter into future actions
Velo, Electric Ghost
Certainly not. Why would it?
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
"We call it "Chekov's Recording System""
Velo, Electric Ghost
It's just several bros plotting treason
As bros do
FancyShark
Sark is getting so annoyed that Law won't take the hint and steal the tapes to bring down Baron
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Hahahahhaha people love keeping records of how they systematically planned to overthrow part of the government and sabotage diplomatic efforts.
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
"Tapes? What are these tapes you speak of, Sol man? On Holoz we yell at a parrot when we want to record things."
"For some reason we only ever record "Wanna pistache!"
gellaho
Condition Mob
FancyShark
So far, it's only Condition Star Wars Opening Night
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
The successor to Hot Topic
Velo, Electric Ghost
Possibly escalating to Condition Mardi Gras
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Eventually it will become Condition Sports Win\Loss
Condition Mob is when they have guns AND cannoli.
gellaho
Eggs squirting gas
FancyShark
So far, this sounds like a normal family reunion
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
The Baron: "Ok, so I need to be imprisoned for a political crime in order to collect a very specific inheritance, and so far all I;ve done is got very rich and on the verge of overthrowing the government"
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Like the eggs from Alien but instead of a face fucking spider demon its full of farts.
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
There's only so many shapes with short names, old sci fi messed me up
gellaho
The Sky Inny
Brendo
THIS IS AMERIKKKA
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
everything is blocky or round or eggy
Brendo
Is it actually 2m or is this like Trump needing a bigger inauguration?
FancyShark
I don't think saying you're there on a date is going to impress him, emergency or not
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
But its a Man Date!
gellaho
This tunnel is filled with people making out
FancyShark
That last sentence was Jakes thinking out loud
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
God I hate it when a couple making out is blocking the entrance to the foyer.
Like make out in the hall or make out in the foyer, but not in the doorway!
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
Unless you want company
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Its like fucking in a theater, its in public and you are inviting people to watch.
gellaho
Wheeeeee!
Brendo
And I'm getting paid $500.
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Dont get mad at me, Couple Two Rows Down, I can see you, you could just go home.
Brendo
The wildest shit I saw online last year was some adult baby / little found his exhibitionist nursing momma and they decided to ride the 7 and then get irate at everyone else, screaming "Mind your business!"
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND IT'S MAKING THIS OUR BUSINESS.
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
I mean you have to do some wild shit to even get a weird look on a train.
gellaho
Law considers giving up his tribe to stop the war. Luckily, people start shooting Sark's men for him
Velo, Electric Ghost
Oh that is lucky
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
SAVED BY THE SECRET SERVICE!?
FancyShark
"Jockeying your freezo"
It's the new trend among teens. Is your child one of them? Find out tonight, at 10
Velo, Electric Ghost
The never before mentioned or present secret service save the day
gellaho
The swarthy friends
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Its always good to have friends, but you should never describe a friend as "swarthy"
Velo, Electric Ghost
But what if they're pirates?
We have no indication that these men are not pirates
gellaho
Sark grabs on as the tube stops levitating people
FancyShark
This system seems unsafe
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Kick him! Kick him in the face!
Velo, Electric Ghost
KICK OR KISS
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
What Would Bubba King Do?
Brendo
Oh now you sound like my latte-colored Arab Berber Moor friends from somewhere in Africa. I think it's north? Hon? Is there a north Africa?
gellaho
Sark decides to fight
gellaho
Brendo
Okay, my cousin-wife says my friends are actually Albanian Mohammedians.
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Little late for that Sark.
Velo, Electric Ghost
This
THis is what Bubba King would do
Brendo
These dudes been brawling for 400 pages
gellaho
One on one. For some reason
FancyShark
So the conditioning wore off?
Velo, Electric Ghost
Birdfucker decides to do something for once
gellaho
Three murdering punches, followed by slap
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
I mean even if Law loses the fistfight Sark is still in a ring of black clad operators who will probably stomp him out. Might as well get your licks in.
Brendo
I'm not used to young Mick Foley, it's weird.
Mick Foley has always been our rad uncle.
Not our crazy college friend.
gellaho
The conditioning never wore on
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Literally a Sifu combo. Punch, punch, punch, slap.
FancyShark
lol
Velo, Electric Ghost
Sark is bad at stuff and things
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
He cant even sissy hypno ONE psychic birdman.
gellaho
Law pulls out an eye
Velo, Electric Ghost
Fuck
FancyShark
Fuck yes
Velo, Electric Ghost
"Go get your eye, bitch!" Birdfucker shouts
as he chucks a mans eye
Brendo
Why did you attach pain receptors to his optic nerve?
FancyShark
Of course a bird would go for the eyes
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Eye gouging in the foyer?! Good heavens.
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
"You fools! don't just watch! drop some beats!"
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Everyone knows the foyer is for dick biting and testicle rending ONLY!
gellaho
Law stops before total murder
Velo, Electric Ghost
Hod damn it Birdfucker
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
You do eye gouging and fishhooking in the parlor.
FancyShark
Now Sark rears up with a knife and Law kills him but it's okay
gellaho
gasp
FancyShark
:shockshark:
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
SECRET DOUBLE AGENT BET!
Congrats Law, she didnt betray you for money! She did it as a job!
gellaho
Felix Macadoo
FancyShark
How could the lady who immediately betrayed her husband be a traitor?!
Velo, Electric Ghost
The ignorant slut is back!
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Its totally okay you spiritually cheated on your bird girlfriend with her.
FancyShark
Felix Macadoo is a macaw sitting on a perch in the next room
gellaho
Let me taste your tang
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
hahahahhahaha they're not even with the government, she hired the Space Pinkertons with Sir Bobs own money.
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
During this, Sark got into a mechahitler suit and is winding up the chainguns
Velo, Electric Ghost
I like to imagine Sark is screaming and rolling around in a puddle of his own eye blood about five feet away from this
gellaho
I might have told them, who knows?
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Because they obviously killed everyone, Law. Law. Obviously.
Law. Why did you think they wouldnt?
gellaho
That's why you always tape your conversations
Velo, Electric Ghost
Super dead, Birdfucker.
The deadest fucking village.
Brendo
OH MY GOD
It's finally happening
She's Rex Moran!
The femme fatale was the private dick!
FancyShark
haha, holy shit, she is
Brendo
HE'S BEEN REBORN
GO REX GO
gellaho
MOISTEN! THOSE! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPSSSSS!
Velo, Electric Ghost
KISS
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
BRAIN! MELT! THE OLIGARCH!
DOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
Velo, Electric Ghost
ALSO THAT
BOTH ARE GOOD
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Stop being a wuuuuuuuuss!
Velo, Electric Ghost
BURN DOWN SPACE
Brendo
EAT THE RICH AS PUDDING
gellaho
Well, that's not good
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
KISS THE OLIGARCH
Brendo
Come over here and watch your people die.
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
"This part is pretty funny"
gellaho
Chlorgamma-5
FancyShark
"Please don't think about how convenient it is that you can't see the people who did the killing and we have a large enough group to easily have two of ours use their uniforms"
Brendo
On the plus side, they abandoned him for fighting back and now he doesn't have to explain the loss of the bone chest.
Velo, Electric Ghost
"Just so you know, they died in pain."
"And fear."
Brendo
Like did we ever see him have a positive interaction outside of his two friends and family members?
gellaho
Back up the tube!
Velo, Electric Ghost
"It was, frankly, impossible for them to understand what was happening to them."
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
And their own mayonaise-y poop
Velo, Electric Ghost
"Which only added to the fear, which, in turn, increased their pain."
"Every single victim shat themselves."
FancyShark
Do it, Law
Velo, Electric Ghost
"Anyways. Glad you're alright."
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
MELT THE FAT MANS BRAIN!
Do it so hard he bursts into flame and runs out the window.
gellaho
Melty brains
FancyShark
Make his brain quake like a bowlful of jelly!
Velo, Electric Ghost
Well that guy did nothing wrong
FancyShark
haha, he melted a guy's brain with memories of his girlfriend
Velo, Electric Ghost
We're just killing mall cops now
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
All P.C.s are bastards.
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
can relate
gellaho
ROOOOOOOBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRTTT
gellaho
FancyShark
Bet is wondering if she said something wrong
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
BOOOOOOBBB
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
"WHATS MASSACREING MY TRIBE?! ITS BEHIND THE SPACE BASTARDS!"
gellaho
The stylus of security
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Its just to make him feel better, its the rich guy version of a blanket.
The clicky noise is soothing.
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
This guy must drink a lot to stay hydrated
with all the sweating
gellaho
Sir Robert flaps
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
"No seriously, that guy was just as racist as me."
FancyShark
"Before I kill you, I would like to know if that payment you offered is still on the table"
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
The number of zeroes will help me decide how many thousand years to take in killing you
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
"If you give all your money away to poor people I'll let you live."
"Kill me."
gellaho
Three-headed dog attack!
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Like Law cant melt a three headed dog brain.
FancyShark
"I don't want the dog either"
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
I kind of hope Robert gets eaten by his own three headed dog.
gellaho
This revenge plan is going swimmingly
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Also three headed borzoi is still the funniest three headed guard dog imaginable.
Velo, Electric Ghost
Birdfucker is so bad at this
gellaho
Hi, Bet
Velo, Electric Ghost
Quick, kill him
FancyShark
Wow, Baron. You're even dumber than Law
Velo, Electric Ghost
Kill him with your mind
gellaho
Bet Law
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
MELT HIS FUCKING BRAIN!
FancyShark
Baron, he kills with his brain. You can't outdraw him
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
"She's addicted to betrayal, see"
gellaho
And what, is her secret?
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
"Betrayal and Hyper Opium!"
gellaho
gellaho
That's right, bird tits
FancyShark
"No, she's just half Polish. But still, you get the idea"
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Hell yeah some bird tiddies.
Jakes changed some peoples lives with this.
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
"Law saw her breasts."
Prize-winning writing
Wins a prize because it was one-handed
gellaho
And she's actually the Baron's daughter
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Jakes, you should have included a tasteful line drawing so your editor could understand how rockin those feathery tits were.
FancyShark
"Behold my wife's rocking tits" is not the devastating move you thought it was, Baron
Velo, Electric Ghost
The real Birdfucker is revealed!
FancyShark
Okay, daughter
Velo, Electric Ghost
I refuse to admit I wasn't planning this
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Its birdfuckers all the way down!
gellaho
"It would have been the end of me, of Baron Starships!"
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Now reveal that Baron Bob is also Laws father.
Velo, Electric Ghost
SO! MANY! BIRDFUCKERS!
FancyShark
"Then I found out that law was overruled decades prior and didn't feel so good"
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
I mean, i get it. The first thing we do as a species after first contact is going to be to try and fuck the new space friends.
Velo, Electric Ghost
"Turns out they thought I was paying them to kill her. 'Oopsies!' I remember saying."
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
The Kirk maneuver
gellaho
I'm sure you can untangle this, Law
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
If you let go of your prejudices you can fuck the aliens GUILT FREE!
FancyShark
"Dammit, Law! I can't walk past an aviary without getting aroused! YOU DON'T KNOW MY PAIN!"
Velo, Electric Ghost
Law it's fine just kill him
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
You know what solves most complexities, Law? Brain melting violence!
Velo, Electric Ghost
Your two options are Kill or Not Kill, and he did a genocide, so just
Kill
This isn't a quandry
gellaho
Alright, bye
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Hes a shitty father, melt his brain!
Velo, Electric Ghost
In fact he's only admitted to more awful things since you orginally planned on killing him
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
BOOOOOOOOOOO what is this bullshit!?
gellaho
Yeah, probably
Velo, Electric Ghost
Not really no
FancyShark
IMMEDIATE regret over not killing
Velo, Electric Ghost
Birdfucker was defeated by himself
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
Andreas Law = Captain Hindsight
gellaho
Velo, Electric Ghost
confronted with the moral dilema of the guy having comitted another, equally bad crime
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
HE IS THO!
HES SUCH A BAD BARGAIN!
Velo, Electric Ghost
HE'S THE WORST
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
He's not even an interesting person!
Velo, Electric Ghost
THIS MAN IS AWFUL
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
You literally dont know him!
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
"Prove you're a bad boy and kill my dad"
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Miss, you dont need a man, this is the space future! Women can have lives of their own.
Velo, Electric Ghost
HE LOOKED EVIL IN THE FACE AND DECIDED, AFTER DELIBERATION, TO DO NOTHING
THIS IS NOT A WIN
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
Law is just gonna impregnate a bunch of human women and kill them after giving birth, to even the score
gellaho
"They stepped into the down tube," said noone
Velo, Electric Ghost
This is the most pathetic anyone has ever been
FancyShark
"The down tube" is just an out of service elevator
Velo, Electric Ghost
George Swell was more heroic than this
And he did nothing but get terrorized by the Hardy boys in the woods for no reason
Most of our villains are more heroic than this
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Fuck you Law, i hope she gives you bird clap.
Velo, Electric Ghost
Law, I'm glad your village is dead
gellaho
Ladies be Doolittling
Velo, Electric Ghost
At least they don't have to live with you
FancyShark
"I should have mentioned that ability before now, but I'm not sure why"
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Goddammit Bet you couold have had that fucking dog eat your dad at ANY TIME?!
Velo, Electric Ghost
These two suck so much
I hope the tube breaks
I hope Sark comes back
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
They are gonna get married, but then not
Velo, Electric Ghost
and kills them both
gellaho
Probably should have killed him
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Are you at least going to send the tapes to the government?
Velo, Electric Ghost
YOU KILLED THE DOORMAN, YOU FUCK
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
Are her boobs still out?
Velo, Electric Ghost
ALL HE DID WAS GUARD THE FUCKING DOOR
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Yes.
FancyShark
Felix answers
"RAWWWRK PRETTY BIRD PRETTY BIRD RAWWWRK"
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Man getting pin feathers on your nipples would suck ass.
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
I don't know which way you mean either part of that sentence
gellaho
Damn your bird arms!
Brendo
Twencen pulp is wild because you can make a year's income writing a book about a deeply personal vendetta that suddenly veers into Antagonist We've Never/Barely Met
Anyway, this is a Mel Gibson vehicle, argue with me.
Velo, Electric Ghost
Fuck you Law I hope you die
I've joined the other side these idiots need to be wiped out
gellaho
Hey, look who's back
Velo, Electric Ghost
FUCK YES
Brendo
Bet, you are the only woman I want to regurgitate bugs into my 'breed young's maws from your Avian Tittays
Velo, Electric Ghost
GET EM
Butt Wizard Flippant Sausage
Goddammit Law cant you do anything right?
gellaho
Mmmmm, time slices
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
Law isa beginner of projects, not a finisher
Velo, Electric Ghost
Law can only kill minimum wage employees
FancyShark
Oh hey, "dived"
Velo, Electric Ghost
He is the fucking worst
Brendo
Okay I'm caught up.
Velo, Electric Ghost
Time Hitler was better than him
gellaho
It's a plight on all books
PhysWiz vs Diamond Fondler
" Sark giggled" I can only think of that as a little girl giggle
Brendo
We have four, which one do you mean?
Velo, Electric Ghost
Hitlarr was better than him
gellaho
Loops-no, a hurricane-no, two hurricanes!
FancyShark
hahahahaha
gellaho
ONE
THOUSAND
HURRICANES
FancyShark
The amount of modifiers he's adding on to this attack
Velo, Electric Ghost
The guy from Bicycling Through Space And Time who did nothing but make puns and meet a singer he really liked and then cried about his dad was better than Law
FancyShark
Sark is going to disintegrate