Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
"by the hoary hosts of Hoggoth..."
125: Time Riders: Day of the Predator Alex Scarrow
#2 Time Riders
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But all three have been given a second chance - to work for an agency that no one knows exists. Its purpose: to prevent time travel destroying history...
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gellaho
Such a password only bodes well
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Oh right, the poison they made Socrates drink for being the most annoying man in Athens.
gellaho
This series is so fucking weird
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
>.> Maddy.........do not coo at the vat men.
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Let's go guys, mission accomplished
gellaho
Not at all ominous
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
"next time memorise the code word, idiot"
gellaho
"Watch out, they make internet radio based on artists you like!"
VernoWhitney
"You'll get to listen to music, but the artists will hardly make any money."
gellaho
@FancyShark one more to the pile
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
"like how they were willing to leave you to die in a concentration camp, remember?"
gellaho
I'm not sure how to count this
VernoWhitney
Of course it doesn't seem right. Everyone else pronounces it "Jeez".
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Liam's slang is evolving
Velo
I don't think we can count that
gellaho
Wakka wakka
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
It's becoming the perfect organism
Popsicles? What is this, a curved blade for fathers?
Nailed it
gellaho
That's not how that abbreviation works
gellaho
Called the Obama reelection though
Velo
Scarrow is bad at words
And stories
gellaho
High school kids fucking love orange juice
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
So if McCain wins, no time travel? Is that what we're doing?
Or was McCain 2008
gellaho
If these are Americans talking, can we please spell the words sensibly?
frumpybadger
Billions of dollars on a reception room and some OJ slurping.
I smell graft.
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Yeah 2012 was like Mitt Romney and shit.
gellaho
Romney
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Oh yeah him
Velo
Oh right
gellaho
✅ Redhead
gellaho
"Franklyn"
Velo
god damn it scarrow
gellaho
Franklyn W Dyxon
frumpybadger
What, me worry?
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
See a Texan kid in 2015 named Franklyn? No, hed be named like Brayden or something.
VernoWhitney
Edward must be well-traveled, to think he looks like a UK brand of ice cream.
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Hahaha
VernoWhitney
Maybe it's on one of his manga posters. Who knows?
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Scarrow has met his match, trying to write in contemporary America in front of you guys
gellaho
Somebody must have translated that last book into American
This is like those Hardy Boys books clearly written by old British people
These are all well known scientific principles
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Alex should know if he wants to keep the American attention span engaged he needs to have dinosaurs in the first hour and a half of the book.
gellaho
What
Velo
Alex is hungry
gellaho
That's probably more on my pacing than his
GDC
He just copied that from some perpetual motion weirdo's manifesto.
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
"In summary, Fuck your stupid goddam dad, Franklyn. He doesnt work at TERI!"
gellaho
HOW BIG'S YOUR HOLE
Velo
"Pretty big, next question."
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
"Good Lord! How could you say such a thing?"
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
"Bigger than yours."
Velo
"Are you kids familliar with goatse?"
gellaho
Knuckle your forehead
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
I don't know how, but somehow Liam is gonna get shoved into that vacuum
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Chapter 8: Further Conspicuous Absence of Dinosaurs.
Velo
Someone throw Maddy into the sea
gellaho
Yeah, it's pretty fucked up, Maddy
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Its 1906 and not a single sailor has yelled "SHOW US YER TEATS YA DOCKSIDE STRUMPET!"
gellaho
There are only 81 chapters in this one
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
George R R Martin?! When did you get here?
VernoWhitney
Recruit the teller, Maddy. You feel bad about him dying, so give him time cancer instead.
gellaho
"I've never seen The Terminator, why do you ask?" - Alex Scarrow
gellaho
Close personal friend of Simon Hawke
Velo
Glad Sal didn't get eaten alive while they were away this time
gellaho
Fuck me
Velo
Velo
We all agree this is a sex thing, right? Somehow this entire book series is a sex thing.
gellaho
Whyyyyy
frumpybadger
HOW ARE WE STILL ON 9/11.
Velo
INFINITE 9/11S
gellaho
Alex! Stop it!
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Maddy..........youre describing stabbing someone.
gellaho
Fuck!
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
This is a stabbing.
Velo
Maddy you fucking do it
Why are you delegating this
frumpybadger
You know, for kids!
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Yeah Sal, most organisms dont like to be stabbed.
Feeder pipe or no.
gellaho
This is so fucking weird, man
Velo
This book is so joyless
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
I hate this
Velo
I mean I'm having a great time but imagine actually reading this book
frumpybadger
"out on to its belly" is the part that really sticks in my tooth.
Velo
Imagine trying to read this book for entertainment
frumpybadger
it's 'onto', you joyless fuck.
gellaho
Liam has passed out in his own vomit
gellaho
I don't have to imagine
Velo
You take so many bullets for us
frumpybadger
choking to death on his own vomit in his sleep is the best fate Liam could have right now
gellaho
Look at this fucking transition
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
"Leftover fetus slurry."
Velo
I think if we fed this book to an AI we could teach the robots what hate means
gellaho
One for Dr P
Velo
FINALLY A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Jesus fucking Christ I thought Liam was eating his own vomit. Why would you cut those two scenes together like that. Fuck
gellaho
Indeed
VernoWhitney
"Yes, Maddy, but would a terrorist organization stab a foetus?"
gellaho
That's only two 9/11s away!
gellaho
Maddy might be a moron
Velo
Oh hey a new sponsor
gellaho
Big Brother has also always been on CBS, but whatever
Velo
Our sponsor is going to be angry about the show being wrong
Damn it Alex
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
God all of media from literally across time but especially before 2001, and shes watching the same episode of Big Brother.
frumpybadger
The surest sign that they are in hell
gellaho
Looks like the Enterprise is trying to communicate
frumpybadger
God, please. Someone has to save these kids, it might as well be Starfleet.
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
"No, i mean down-time. You moron."
VernoWhitney
"I'm in down-time already. The only time it makes sense to rewatch Big Brother."
Velo
"Maddy that would be up-time."
"Sideways-time is the present"
gellaho
Really need to decide if "the Chinese guy" invented it or this guy did
frumpybadger
meh. "who invented it" is really just a question of who made it to the patent office first anyway
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Hahahahah yeah an agency that recruits dead children to be time agents is sure to have a stringent check in and oversight policy.
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
"attention, brave time heroes. One of you will need to feed yourself to the time wasps immediately. Happy holidays!"
gellaho
Are they going to be printing the personal ads on 9/12/2001?
FancyShark
🫡
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
"aside from lonely perverts no one cares about, anyway. We dont have to worry about erasing a dozen or so of them."
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
lol why would a new York newspaper print the lonely hearts section on September 12th 2001
frumpybadger
"It's the same principle, Liam, that you used actually"
what the fuck is that sentence construction
Velo
Hi @FancyShark !
gellaho
Oh, no! Time travel might not have been invented... which is bad?
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
So people can forget the national tragedy by getting their fuck on.
gellaho
We also have had the most disgusting thing I've ever read, so that's fun
frumpybadger
Only in the Scarrowverse can "Partial" still be a whole ass paragraph
gellaho
Oh, good. More cancer for Liam!
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Hm, he was killed while visiting the instit. What is that, some kind of sleazy hotel?
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
I feel like a handful of teens stopping a low stakes murder of a Chinese American kid in Texas is still too much for these goobers.
VernoWhitney
Not going for brevity, I guess. Had to point out that he couldn't write his thesis if he's dead.
FancyShark
Pandora's Dude. Got it
FancyShark
You have my attention
frumpybadger
gellaho
Start here book-nerds
FancyShark
Also, hi, @gellaho ! Hi, @frumpybadger ! Hi, @VernoWhitney ! Hi, @Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion ! Hi, @Tom Owns Diebel's Grave ! Hi, @Velo ! HELLO, @Brendo !
VernoWhitney
Or, like, don't.
gellaho
Remember how much death you saw?
FancyShark
hahaha, what the fuck
frumpybadger
Oh strap the fuck in, Shark.
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
An appeteaser for the misery to come
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Liam somehow managing to be the most reasonable one.
gellaho
"Bring me my cyborg slave"
gellaho
"My teen cyborg slave"
VernoWhitney
You can cook at twice the temperature for half the time.
FancyShark
Okay, I've added "Feeding tube trial runs" to the list because there's no way they got those right on the first try
Velo
They've dropped a lot of corpses into the sewers of new york city at this point
gellaho
They died in the last book
frumpybadger
jesus, some publisher okayed this instead of a Brockway joint.
that's the world we live in.
Velo
Some publisher okayed eight of these
gellaho
KFC still serving during the 9/11 smoke
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Ok so just to make it extra weird, the next Bob is gonna look 14. Another choice that Scarrow didn't have to make
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
If KFC closes then the terrorists win.
Brendo
Missed connections: we made eye contact under Tower 1. When it fell, my hopes for the future I imagined for us fell with it...
gellaho
It's legal, don't worry about it
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Oh he's 18, great no worries then
Velo
More worries. Exponentially more worries.
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Whats the point of having a cyborg slave you grow in a vat if you dont cook him long enough?!
Brendo
Lot of places were open. We went to a diner because WTF else are you going to do.
FancyShark
You can't rush Bob-yeast. The Great British Baking Show demonstrated that.
gellaho
Theoretical mumbo... jumbo
Velo
I can and I will! Begin forging my child army!
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
"Wait.........what the fuck......do you not know either?"
FancyShark
Velo's going to beat Bobby Flay with violence
gellaho
He also died of cancer at 27?
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
"mumbo... Gumbo? Dumbo? Think, Maddy, think!"
gellaho
Alex Scarrow obsessed with that 27 club thing
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Haha Maddy is such a catty lil bitch
gellaho
Makes sense
FancyShark
Tonight on Dateline: Leaky Dimensions and Infinite 9/11s. Could Your Children Be Involved?
Velo
Maddy maybe stop being so awful for like five minutes
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Seems like this is a real important piece of information.
FancyShark
Now all they have to do is find a guy named Chan in the entire run of human history. How hard could that be?
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
As long as they dont delete Jackie Im cool with it.
gellaho
Looks like we got a fetus oopsie
VernoWhitney
"Maybe Foster just forgot to tell us to kill one specific guy. He just told us about a different guy to kill."
Velo
I knew we stabbed that foetus too much
FancyShark
Gellaho's version of Roe v. Wade is more fun
gellaho
This is a great organization
Velo
Why are they keeping those?!
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
GARGOYLE BOB!
gellaho
I wonder what the problem is
frumpybadger
It's like potions in RPGs, we might need them later!
Brendo
NO NO HE WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE THIS SEXY
FancyShark
Recycling day is 9/12
Velo
oh no
oh no
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
She plugged the tube into his dick
gellaho
Wakka wakka
frumpybadger
THE BOBTER IS A WOMAN?!?!
Velo
3
Brendo
We recruit teens to stab fetuses. We harvest the good ones and drown the freaks in their own feces.
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Oh no
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Oh..........well its not that big of a deal.
Brendo
or foetesus in their faeces, to hear this book tell it
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
There's gonna be so much more teen nudity isn't there
gellaho
I feel like you should know this Sal
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Women can be cyborg kill beasts too.
Brendo
Liam is lucky to be able to read, when would he learn chromosomes
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Sal should know what xx means, Scarrow
FancyShark
It means moonshine
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Why the fuck would you even put that on the label for your fucking vat grown tube slave? Who cares?
gellaho
Velo
I don't like what Scarrow is going to do with this
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Sal was from the future at time of writing, Scarrow. Hey Scarrow India has schools, Scarrow
VernoWhitney
It's pronounced "Cronenberg", Liam.
FancyShark
Scarrow can't hear you. He's too busy Britishing
gellaho
Roberta
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Too busy polishing his brass doorknob
FancyShark
Really stretched yourself with that name, didn't you, Scarrow
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
chases onion britishly
gellaho
"As long as you promise no concentration camps"
frumpybadger
fucking--
Bobbie was right there
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Call her Barbie, that'd be fun
Brendo
And Liam--
gellaho
No looking at the naked cyborg slave teen
Brendo
Don't fuck the fleshbot
Velo
"Pinky swear I won't witness the deaths of thousands?"
Velo
God damn it scarrow
gellaho
Her rancid meat stench is so alluring
Velo
GOD DAMN IT SCARROW
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Yeah because the 1900s irish guy will fit right in on a 2015 texas university campus.
FancyShark
The fact you're referring to her as "it" makes me think you don't actually care about modesty, Scarrow
gellaho
Hot
frumpybadger
this is uniquely rancid even by book cage standards
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Did you skip the part where they put some clothes on her?
gellaho
You spent most of that time alone in a concentration camp, but sure
FancyShark
Now she unhinges her jaw and reveals multiple rows of steel teeth
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
yeah just let her sit on the chair all wet with tube goo and naked, that wont cause a weird smell.
gellaho
Hot
FancyShark
These Hallmark movies have the dumbest meet-cute scenes
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Liam's gonna fuck that clone
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
A meat robot you could fuck if you wanted and gained consent from, Liam.
gellaho
Ah, the future
Velo
Liam deserves his suffering
gellaho
The fe-male
Velo
Why the fuck is it bluetooth
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
"Bluetooth? What is this, a Viking who eats too many blueberries?"
FancyShark
"Or she'll be paired with a wireless mouse we forgot to shut off and will have a seizure every time we try to open a document. It could go either way."
Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion
Man I do not think bluetooth should be used to upload an AI, it doesnt even always work for my headphones and my phone.
gellaho
Nobody deserves what Liam has gone through
Add another to the count
Velo
4
Velo
Liam's earning it now
gellaho
Liam's going through some stuff
FancyShark
Scarrow, if you think a woman needs an upper-register voice, I will fight you
gellaho
Let's get these teens half naked and wet again
Velo
Solid sentiment but if you aren't already fighting Scarrow I will fight you
Tom Owns Diebel's Grave
Only half? What is this, a school play?
Velo
We all need to kill Scarrow
frumpybadger
"beneath the sheets of her bunk"???????????
gellaho
Looks like this new baby brain is going to change Bob's AI
FancyShark
Maddy, who are you hiding underwear from besides obviously Liam?
Velo
Yeah that's weird
gellaho
Which is kind of killing Bob, but let's not worry about that
FancyShark
Adding to the list
Velo
Killed a Bob