125: Time Riders: Day of the Predator Alex Scarrow

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

This is very philosophical

Brendo

And sharing undergarments!

gellaho

Throw a wig on there for fun

Velo

The glistening wet goo is a metaphor

why

who is this for

FancyShark

Scarrow. It's only for Scarrow.

gellaho

"I got a name for you"

Drowns Liam

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Bald women covered in goo is for a lot of people, just maybe not for the intended audience.

Brendo

Drowned by Bob. How ironic.

gellaho

Meanwhile, some guy named Howard is planning to kill a kid

FancyShark

Scarrow watched the first Star Trek movie and got ideas

Howard Goodall is an ice cream brand, not an assassin

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Hahahahha "rucksack"

FancyShark

I use that mantra whenever I watch Young Sheldon

gellaho

Joke's on you, Scarrow, it was only a trilogy

Velo

You can't keep stabbing your TVs like that

Brendo

"Hey! Asshole! Remember me, from THE FUTURE?"

FancyShark

They chose to show me something unforgiveable

Velo

Harrold is trying to blend in with teens. This is a literal 'how do you do, fellow kids?' moment.

gellaho

How's it going, fellow kids?

FancyShark

You can pick up miniature carbon fiber projectiles from Wal-mart?

gellaho

That's fine

FancyShark

lol

Velo

None of Lenny's classmates recognized him on site

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Just..........shoot the child, Howard.

Velo

Not a single teacher knows what Lenny looks like

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Dome him with your little space gun and let us get some fucking DINOSAURS!

gellaho

FancyShark

To be clear, Howard and Lenny have never met. Lenny and his mom just pissed off the wrong scout troop

Velo

That's a bus.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Scarrows too smart for us

gellaho

Killing kids

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

He's got more brains in his rucksack than we have in our whole trunks

gellaho

Add one to the count

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Dude its 2015, you can shoot so many children before the cops arrive!

Practically an unlimited amount! Let alone just one.

gellaho

And she's naked

VernoWhitney

And they might not even come in after they show up!

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Execute him Moon Style and run away, you will probably get away with it.

Velo

Just thought of the location for our next timeloop base

FancyShark

"And your hog is still bigger than mine!"

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

More! Teen! Nudity!

Velo

VernoWhitney

"I hear you've got experience with growth tubes now."

gellaho

And he's naked

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

"Boobs"

"I mean norks."

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Liam has a boaner! Liam has a boaner!

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

"I mean Nora." Saved it, he thought.

gellaho

"What if I name you after my cousin? That's not weird, right?"

gellaho

Deploy your garments

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

"they'd be more correctly deployed on my floor"

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Normal in Alabama and County Cork.

Velo

I used the Scarrow picture too early

FancyShark

She somehow turned the clothes into nineteen shoes

gellaho

Already had the redhead check, but Scarrow showing his whole self here

FancyShark

Goddammit, Scarrow

gellaho

That's a look someone from the Titanic would be into, right?

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Good Lord, Scarrow

FancyShark

I think that look is pretty universal

frumpybadger

Liam would have a heart attack and die at the sight of this

Velo

Scarrow got one book into this series before becoming uncontrollably horny for his own characters

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Big tiddy goth girlfriend is universal I guess

gellaho

Add another to the count

FancyShark

"Girl suit"

Velo

5

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

This is basically Altered Carbon

gellaho

My man is hard up

frumpybadger

depending on how strict you are with definitions that is either a teenager or an infant. either way: super not ocay, Scarrow.

FancyShark

Reminder: she's less than a day old

frumpybadger

Bex.

again: right there.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Liam, you don't have to keep telling us it's strange

VernoWhitney

But she's got an old soul

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

We actually might be more on board with that than you

Velo

That soul is five months old

gellaho

Nailed it

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Jesus Liam fuckin control yourself. You have to wait until your clone is at least 24 hours out of the tube before you fuck it. Thats just ethics.

Velo

All the math is so upsetting

gellaho

Good lord

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Liam ahs a boaner! Liam has a boaner!

Everyone point and laugh!

Velo

No, because he likes that

gellaho

He's been living with Maddy for a while. Not a great look for her

Jesus dude, keep it in your pants

Velo

Yes but Maddy is awful

frumpybadger

a literal "saints preserve us" from the irish stereotype.

gellaho

Time travel and magic energy is full of magnets

frumpybadger

what a time to be alive.

Velo

We were promised dinosaurs, Alex

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

More! Hot! Redheads!

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Redheads and dinosaurs!

FancyShark

This is the most circuitous way to erase save data

frumpybadger

And yet I still think it's easier than doing finger yoga with Pokémon games.

gellaho

Witch's brew makes infinite energy

Velo

If the magnet is that powerful you probably shouldn't walk through it

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

But also the most effective. The FBI will never know.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

"this is where the hag brews her potion of eternal youth"

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

hahahahah billions of dollars? In energy investment?

Velo

God i hope the magnet kills Bob

gellaho

Dr Brohm sounds like an asshole

Velo

What a great twist it would be

gellaho

That's what I said before my MRIs

Velo

oh god i just spotted the dumbest possible thing scarrow could do. Let's see if he does it

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

What is it with scientists and the second they get more than X amoutn of funding they start talking like "WE ARE CREEPIN ON GOD!"

gellaho

That's how science works, sure

FancyShark

Scientists feel invincible when they get the amount they asked for

gellaho

Meanwhile: teen drama

frumpybadger

This is why you never give nerds confidence. They immediately go straight to delusions of grandeur. It's like starting a teetotaler off on absinthe.

Velo

Maddy is so awful

frumpybadger

Who in this book isn't

FancyShark

Maddy acting like no one has ever had sex with a mannequin

Brendo

He magicked himself a Ragged Robin.

gellaho

Alex understands women

frumpybadger

Not while being directly observed, anyway

Brendo

Yeah, otherwise their bones don't congeal.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

I've never seen such understanding of women

gellaho

Yeah, that is a bit of a bring down

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

lol oh yeah the time cancer

FancyShark

"I'm just upset that Liam might have found a reason to live"

gellaho

He's sixteen and was working on the Titanic, I don't think he had "a couple of girlfriends"

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Let him have some fun with Becks while he can, I guess

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Yeah maybe you should throw Liam a pity fuck or let him and the meat robot bone down, before hes too geriatric to get any.

gellaho

And if you were wondering what she saw in the "junk store"

Velo

I've only just noticed that he's using ' instead of " and i dislike him more

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

I hope its a Sega Genesis.

Ooooh or a Neo Geo!

gellaho

It was a titanic uniform

VernoWhitney

"Zero-point energy is a lot like Blast Processing"

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

A model titanic? An Edwardian dress?

Hey I was close

gellaho

Which I'm sure Liam would love, considering he was supposed to die there

Velo

Jesus don't give that to Liam

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Liam isnt going to find this fucked up at all. Put it on and do like a sexy dance for him.

Velo

Don't give Scarrow ideas!

gellaho

Great chapter

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Make Becks wear it to kill his distracting sex drive

FancyShark

Do it. Give it to him as a present. Put it on a mannequin and hide it in his bed

Velo

Well at least it's over

FancyShark

Make him think he's already dead

Velo

Put it on one of the foetuses!

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

hahahahahha a whole two pages.

gellaho

Welp

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Put it on and wake him up from a deep sleep saying "ah come on Liam, toime tah go ter werrk"

Velo

Liam's got that old timey racism

Brendo

Found my family crest

gellaho

She's like a big dog

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

All the school kids dive for cover and grip their bulletproof ring binders in the approved chest protection position.

gellaho

BEEP boop explosion

FancyShark

Scarrow, this is America. She would have been tazed for doing that in 2001

gellaho

2015, but sure

Velo

Howard agrees with her. DANGER indeed, Howard thinks

FancyShark

Even moreso

gellaho

Not the best assassin

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Those flaky goth girls and their... Protesting zero point energy by talking like robots...

Brendo

He wrote this in 2012 and he still thought goths protested things.

The large tachyon collider, for example.

Velo

I'm glad we're at least hesitating before gunning down the child

FancyShark

Kill the child. He's clearly sexist.

gellaho

This is probably fine

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

"I thought Chan would just have like knees on his head or something. This whole face situation is really humanizing him."

FancyShark

Jelly ripples?

gellaho

Hahahaha hahaaaaaaaaaahAAAAAAAAA

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Ah so the explosion is gonna send Liam and Becks into dinosaur times

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

The Animorphs did that once

Velo

6

VernoWhitney

Man, I usually have to mangle my laundry by hand, instead of having some fancy laundry mangler for it.

gellaho

Oopsie

Velo

I hope you're right

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

They gained the ability to morph T-rexes and then never used that power again

gellaho

Oh, I guess Bob is also still in the computer

gellaho

That's... weird

VernoWhitney

They made a copy, right?

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Yeah it's the weirder more uncomfortable option so of course Scarrow picked

frumpybadger

Bob 2

VernoWhitney

They forked Bob.

Velo

Yeah they've got two Bobs now, and one is Becks

frumpybadger

Bob 2: This Time it's Personal

gellaho

Looks like these two dummies caused the witch's brew to explode

gellaho

Good job

Velo

Liam will also have sex with that bob

Probably already has

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

In the book of altered carbon there was a bit where the hero made a copy of himself, and even though they were only separate people for a short time, they began to develop seperate personalities and goals

This is like that except Liam and Becks are gonna fuck

frumpybadger

well yeah, but consider: Altered Carbon is good.

gellaho

You are a real dummy, Maddy

Velo

I hate Maddy so much

gellaho

Of course, Simon Hawke did that first in Steele

frumpybadger

It's fine, tomorrow is another 9/11

Velo

Maddy it's been like an hour

frumpybadger

they've got all the 9/11s in the world

gellaho

Because Simon Hawke is the greatest writer of our times

frumpybadger

truly the Allfather of sci-fi

gellaho

Good job, dumbass

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

So Maddy caused the explosion which caused them to miss the window which caused Maddy to send the message which caused the explosion

gellaho

Meanwhile: in milk

Velo

Drown Liam!

Drown him in milk!

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

This is really going to fuck up Liams time cancer.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

"thick milk world" is somehow also a sex thing for Scarrow

frumpybadger

he saw that one episode of Enterprise and was like "ooh"

gellaho

They call me the seeker, I've been searching low and high

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

I don't remember seekers. Whats going on?

FancyShark

Someone say blood?

gellaho

It's just like Raiders of the Lost Ark

gellaho

These are the electric time specters

FancyShark

Fuck yeah. Time Ghosts

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Oh those

gellaho

Stop touching his legs

FancyShark

Only one row of fangs? I called it better, Scarrow

gellaho

One more

Velo

7

He's really frontloading the Jayzus this time

gellaho

Chaos space

Velo

Only had 17 for the entire last book

FancyShark

Warhammer 20K

gellaho

Hmmmmmmm

frumpybadger

Scarrow, you can't just steal the Eye of Terror and expect UK teens to not notice.

FancyShark

Of course black children only have cornrows

Velo

They just did a little Event Horizon and now it's dinosaur times

maybe

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

"corn-rows? What is this..." Liam began before being quickly shushed.

gellaho

I'm sure whatever it is is fine

FancyShark

"It's a squirrel."

gellaho

Fuck.

frumpybadger

he's really into this irish kid puking, isn't he.

gellaho

@FancyShark One child

FancyShark

hahahaha

hell yes

Velo

Hahahahaha

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

hahahahah now its getting fun.,

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Weve gibbed a teen.

VernoWhitney

Maybe the other half stayed in 2015. You don't know!

gellaho

I know, Liam. It's a book for kids

Velo

8

FancyShark

Nice job, Maddy

Brendo

Oh JAYZIS that lump of screaming, twisted meat is an attractive g-g-girrrrrl so she is OOOHHHHHH WISHA I FEAR I SHALL SPEND

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

"Very rarely. Barely one time in 15."

gellaho

@FancyShark Fifteen more mutilated children

frumpybadger

hilariously mean-spirited but somehow not in a fun way is an interesting tightrope to walk but he's doing it

Velo

It's happened like three times now

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Fuck you Alex. Unplosion?!

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Jesus Christ Scarrow

Brendo

He Hadroned a Sandy Hook in 2015!

frumpybadger

it's like a fucking I Think You Should Leave sketch.

gellaho

I don't know how 35 - 16 = 16, but here we are

VernoWhitney

To be clear, I think the mutilated ones also arrived in one piece. Not the right way at all, but still one piece.

Tom Owns Diebel's Grave

Several others died of grief

frumpybadger

a couple kids fused together. or got lost in the timestream

Brendo

We're all looking for the tachyon that did this!

Flippant Sausage Beyond Oblivion

Saxon Math.

Brendo

Well when they're meatloaf you count intact feet.

Velo

Come on dinosaurs

gellaho

Not suspicious

Brendo

VernoWhitney

(Arms + legs + heads) / 5

gellaho

Hi, Frank

Brendo

Woah, this Hot Dog warcrimes.

Velo

In that case only 3 are dead, but we have a lot that will be missing indefinitely

gellaho

This is probably fine

frumpybadger

okay charlie brown. relax

gellaho

Dundundun

Velo

Fuck yes dinosaurs

Brendo

HERE COMES a T REEEEEEX

FancyShark

One Up Danny says "psshh, I saw one last week"

Brendo

Trampling the undergrowth