FancyShark
Roxy, you can do way better
141: Gen¹³: Time and Chance Jeff Mariotte and Scott Ciencin
#2 Gen¹³
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America's hottest supergroup in an all-new novel!
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Brendan
Grunge, what is below a fuckboy?
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tremulous
adjective
shaking or quivering slightly.
"Barbara's voice was tremulous"
Hm, I'll allow it. But watch yourself, counselor
gellaho
Am I supposed to be keeping up with comics continuity with this shit? If so, you can fuck off
Areze
sex pervert?
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
I feel like expecting someone to have read a Gen13 comic should get you tried in the Hague.
gellaho
Grunge, I hate you
Areze
So this is just teen titans but Worse And Somehow Hornier
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Ugh
PhysWiz vs The New Year
At least he didn't just watch them die
Areze
Teen Titan As Written By Brooke McEldownie (or w/e)
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I hate that "horny to be of service, ma'am" trope
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Except they arent teens, theyre vaguely college aged, but yeah.
gellaho
That fight ends as pointlessly as it began
Brendan
That's just mean.
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You're breathing in brick dust, Grunge. Fucking focus
gellaho
Everyone is still incredibly horny and angsty
Areze
I'm not sorry
gellaho
Really expecting me to care about Grunge getting his feelings hurt after he just excitedly dry humped three women
FancyShark
So the x-axis on Roxy's eyes is 150%?
Brendan
Reminder that Nightwing lost his virginity to either Batgirl or alien SISI royalty, depending on your continuity.
Why should I care about Dickhead Grunge?
YVONNE CRAIG
or Therese
Ska Slut noiretoon
Not fair to just drop the nuclear option like that
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
90s girls love a questionably Asian sex pest obsessed with kung fu movies.
Ska Slut noiretoon
What if Amadeus Cho didn't have a shirt, or a personality besides 'boner'
FancyShark
That explains Seagal
Areze
this is sadly probably accurate
gellaho
Sarah's rally was sparsely attended. Skipping it
Now she randomly runs across a teen gang
Ska Slut noiretoon
"not even the readers showed up" XD
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I don't know how any of you guys could have been confused that Grunge is Asian. Look at this flawless integration of his heritage
Areze
the fuck is that art
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Haha no idea
Areze
it took me a minute to figure out what his arms were doing
Ska Slut noiretoon
Rob Liefield's Moe Howard
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
In the first five issues or so he just looked like a regular white surf bro.
FancyShark
Being drawn by Rob Liefeld does not make you Asian
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Just googled gen 13 grunge and saved the funniest pic
Areze
his hands are fucking enormous
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Like his head was a fuckin rectangle.
Areze
was he spliced with a gorilla
Ska Slut noiretoon
The ninja bodies are to hide his lil feet
gellaho
One of the gang members got accidentally shot by a scienx and gun
PhysWiz vs The New Year
I spilled soy sauce on my pants today, and I, too, covered the embarrasment with ninja corpses
gellaho
Moving on
Seems like there are better things to do with this technology
Brendan
I mean, not to sound racist, but his fists are the size of his head, what nationality does that sound like to you and also I don't know what nationality he descends from oh god don't cancel me I just learned this tonight
PhysWiz vs The New Year
"Shit! I thought that was a really tall guy t-posing at me"
Brendan
You're not turned on by quad??
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So what is a stinger? I'm guessing not the missile, because they aren't sweeping her up with a broom
Ska Slut noiretoon
Baxter Stockman looks on as his new streetlight-generating beam is tested by the Mob
Brendan
Baxter Stockman got done dirty.
PhysWiz vs The New Year
Taking a note from the Yakuza and helping the neighborhood out
Ska Slut noiretoon
"no! My device was meant to generate streetlights for all mankind!!!"
gellaho
A mob boss buys some ray guns
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
The fuck is this interaction?
FancyShark
"I bet I know what criminals sound like"
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The point would be to steal obviously
gellaho
It's an unnecessarily long part of the book
Brendan
SUDDENLY HAWKE
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
oooh an Atomizer.
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So that's an Atomizer, not a Stinger?
gellaho
You think that's stupid, they spend quite a bit of time figuring out how best to park their cars
gellaho
PhysWiz vs The New Year
(Early spray bottles were called atomizers)
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Oh yeah
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Who the fuck wrote Carlo Provolone like this?
Brendan
chili time. Good luck in the '90s...DUDES! to the x-TREME!!!!
gellaho
Meanwhile, the presumed villain from 50 pages ago has returned in an adorable helicopter
FancyShark
Later, @Brendan !
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Same guys who wrote a paragraph of Frank saying to himself that he knows what bodyguards do
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Save some for later and make chili dogs if possible.
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Oh and speak of the devil...
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck ooooooooooofffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
BlindMonkey DARK
If only I could absorb Chili from the sun like Vitamin D
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Woo Dennard's here
BlindMonkey DARK
I need to know what prose Gen13 holds
gellaho
Frank's going to try to steal the laser gun
BlindMonkey DARK
Oh it holds gold
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Aw quaint, he had an AK-47 in a world where every third dipshit has a laser gun he stole from the Devil.
gellaho
Good news for Carlo, he has the magic science gun
FancyShark
Hi, @BlindMonkey DARK !
BlindMonkey DARK
Ahoy!
gellaho
The nerd who was selling the weapons hired a NASCAR driver for the getaway, which are not applicable skills
PhysWiz vs The New Year
He is very, very good at turning in one direction
BlindMonkey DARK
Threading a Land Rover is the wildest spec fic element
Ska Slut noiretoon
They just sang instead. Carlo cursed, the Atomizer had been set to "musical theater"
gellaho
Luckily, he also still has a magic science gun
gellaho
And that's that chapter. Pretty pointless
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Yeah, street racer would make a lot more sense for this
Ska Slut noiretoon
I hope the gun just moves things to elsewhere in the world
Velo, Juice Criminal
Can't be pointless if there's a magic science gun
gellaho
Fuck, what?
Velo, Juice Criminal
Uh
Ska Slut noiretoon
So a helicopter and a streetlight just ported into Schloss Reitberger or w/e
BlindMonkey DARK
Her glee in the bottom right corner is gold
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Sure, this is lines and curves arranged in a way that creates a picture to the human eye.
gellaho
Roxy is very upset the dirtbag drummer she was dating turned out to be a dirtbag
FancyShark
There's a lawn somewhere overflowing with garbage
Ska Slut noiretoon
I know Grunge is probably stopping a purse snatching, but the man's pose makes it look like it's his
gellaho
Oh, also Grunge gave her a horny t-shirt
Velo, Juice Criminal
Good job, Grunge
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Many years ago seanbaby did an article on cracked about those insane iq test ads with bizarre photoshops and "is this image REAL or FAKE? 90% get it wrong!" Type banners. And there was one with a boy whose lips were stretched out like a beak and this mindless blank rage behind his eyes
This pic just reminded me of that for some reason
PhysWiz vs The New Year
The science guy is so lonely, with enough atomized/teleported goons he can get a D&D game going
gellaho
Meanwhile, Grunge gets so mad he turns into glass
FancyShark
Whomst
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gellaho
I guess his organs don't turn, which raises some questions
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
lol
FancyShark
Seems like the key to success is to carry a diamond with you at all times, Grunge
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
This indicates you could see the inner workings of his dick and balls.
BlindMonkey DARK
"Get that bit checked out."
gellaho
Fuck me, JeffScott, you guys got anything but the most cliched shit you can think of?
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
"Huh my liver looks a little weird today........... Eh probably nothing."
gellaho
Define "working"
Ska Slut noiretoon
BlindMonkey DARK
Heheh
FancyShark
Grunge, if you're going to morph into whatever substance you touch when you get excited, you should not be dating
gellaho
Meanwhile meanwhile, Burnout is still trying to get something going with his lesbian friend
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Also the metaphor doesn't work because you CAN'T see what he is most of the time. That's why Therese was surprised
gellaho
Then he could literally be what he metaphorically is: a giant pussy
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Fuckin GOTTIM
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
If your soyburger tastes bad, its because you didnt use enough spices. Also throw some doritos on that bad boy.
FancyShark
He tries to do the popcorn bucket trick and turns into butter
gellaho
Just call him butterfingers from how much he jerks it
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Oh I forgot he was chasing a lesbian, as well as ditching her to go to a concert
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Also Bobby, trust me, I get it. Its tough finding out the girl you like is an Omega Lesbian but you have to let it go. Quickly.
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Can't we just pick one way he's a bad boyfriend? Do we need a whole potluck?
FancyShark
Staying on that path leads to MRA, Bobby
Velo, Juice Criminal
No add a fourth
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Also bud shes a sex predator, shes not worth being interested in.
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Fuck me it's hard to catch up with a superhero ensemble story
gellaho
Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile, Fairchild is still upset about how perfect she is
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Keep listing ages and milestones
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
God I hate her the most somehow. Shes a genius with a superhuman body and all she does is biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch about it.
Fucking cure cancer.
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What are you going to put on your tombstone Caitlin? You need to decide! Now!
gellaho
Oh, their primary villains exploded between the last book and this one
Velo, Juice Criminal
Oh
gellaho
Weird thing not to actually put in a book
Velo, Juice Criminal
Well that's good
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Also I cannot stress enough how much it is your choice what you wear as a battlesuit
Get some cargo pants and a puffy jacket
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Oh are we doing a "What do we do about youth gang violence?!" psa with this one? Let me get my special DARE shirt.
Ska Slut noiretoon
...were the people who attacked them children?
gellaho
Why write this
BlindMonkey DARK
So humanized
Very grounded
gellaho
Nah, when Sarah went to her rally she randomly found a teen gang that had future weapons
Ska Slut noiretoon
WOW THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH
GRUNGE IS A TEST PATTERN OF A PERSON
FancyShark
Grunge, go back to counting paste on the wall
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
To be fair this is what Grunge hears when anyone is talking.
PhysWiz vs The New Year
he used to be, but now he is just static
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We never got confirmation on what a Stinger is, so I'm forced to assume it's a gun that shoots bees
gellaho
Pretty sure Belushi died when Grunge was like 2 years old
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Which was a power my latest dnd character had so yeah, good choice gen 13
FancyShark
"You know the one, kids! John Belushi! He died when you all were learning what sound a duck makes!"
PhysWiz vs The New Year
Yeah but we all grow up watching our dad's favorite movies
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How did that happen immediately after I mentioned bees
gellaho
Now I have to remember if we were previously told Roxy and Caitlin were related
gellaho
FancyShark
Not that I recall
gellaho
Anyway, a purse snatcher randomly appears
Ska Slut noiretoon
Love it when characters want to quit their own book
This worked when Spidey and the Titans did it because they didn't have Wikipedia summaries for personalities
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Wow I guess maybe we do make a difference after all
gellaho
That chapter was also of little note
Velo, Juice Criminal
Did you miss the purse snatching?
How could something be more exciting!
gellaho
Chapter 5
Ska Slut noiretoon
Roxy knew what to do. Immediately changing herself into a purse,
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Hahahahah
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Being economical with their lines for Science Man.
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These characters are having a broad shoulders competition
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
It was the fashion at the time.
gellaho
Looks like Burnout's homeless father figure is getting experimentee on
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Hell yeah, this is the kind of depravity the 90s kids loved, medical experiments on the homeless!
FancyShark
I too feel like I've won the lottery when I donate blood
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"woo my body has value! Wait you need me alive right? Nah I won't question it woo champagne!"
gellaho
The mailman?
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There's a Roald Dahl short story about a homeless man with a huge incredible tattoo on his back that was done by a famous dead artist
People start bidding on his skin
gellaho
Extremely weird name choice, JeffScott
Ska Slut noiretoon
"he just hoped he wouldn't see something so unbelievable he'd comically throw the bottle away"
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Delicious Thunderbird.
gellaho
Jeff's got a type
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
I mean..........
Whomst amongst us?
gellaho
Just really wants to get crushed by the ladies
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5 feet tall with arms thicker than most men's thighs, I think puts her in fantasy dwarf proportions
Ska Slut noiretoon
"Get another shipment of cranberry juice in here. These monitors won't watch themselves."
FancyShark
...
I'm listening
gellaho
I have no idea if any of this stream of proper nouns is going to actually matter at all
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You'll have to sign up for my patreon to get the rest of that one
gellaho
Reminder that the bad guy exists
Ska Slut noiretoon
🤣 and I just mentioned cranberry juice
FancyShark
A profit of $28K is only impressive if you're doing a single day of trading, Wager. That's not a lot for a global upset
gellaho
Ahuh, that qualifies as an origin. I guess
Ska Slut noiretoon
If laundered through Bangkok Knockout, twenty eight thousand dollars gets ya fifty thousand dollars
gellaho
Well, yeah
FancyShark
That's what Reno's for, Wager
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We know you beat the odds, Wager, this was the same way you were described last time
Ska Slut noiretoon
Born Thomas Carlisle, he was exposed to radioactive gambling debts in the Nevada desert!
gellaho
He wins a $1 million poker tournament, then immediately gets caught trying hire a prostitute
gellaho
This is the worst origin story I've ever seen
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Shouldn't he have known the odds of that?
Ska Slut noiretoon
That was before his Wagering
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Or did he only know gambling odds until after that terrible day
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Yeah you got it
gellaho
This is nothing! What
PhysWiz vs The New Year
This mob makes me miss the horny teens
Ska Slut noiretoon
THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S A LEPRECHAUN????
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This is garbage
gellaho
This is the least impressive villain
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You can't figure out the lottery numbers
Pick anything else for that moment
FancyShark
This is Akagi, but boring and terrible
PhysWiz vs The New Year
This is just an average nerd
Areze
Wouldn't calculating odds be better for the stock market rather than lottery shit
Ska Slut noiretoon
His origin story's literally 'he fucked up so bad he got powers'
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YES
Ska Slut noiretoon
Real missed opportunity not making his two henchwomen Faith and Begorrah
gellaho
Now one of the many muscle women decides to drug the homeless man with the same name as a 2 time NBA MVP
FancyShark
I'm getting inconsistent info here. Is she evil?
Because the writing's very ambiguous
Velo, Juice Criminal
You know I think she might be evil
FancyShark
Huh
Velo, Juice Criminal
She is, at the very least, rude
gellaho
Wager offers to buy Joe
FancyShark
"It's slavery. It's not weird."
gellaho
I don't think that's actually all that close
Areze
That's less related than chimps IIRC
FancyShark
Mice have that same level of similarity
Ska Slut noiretoon
Joe pulls off a mask and takes off his jacket to reveal the same undercover cop from Reno
WAGNER: No! ::choke:: NOOOO
Areze
Hell cabbage is like 40% IIRC
gellaho
Joe agrees
Ska Slut noiretoon
" I love percentages. I use them"
Simply incredible writing
gellaho
Meanwhile, the NBA all star gets more thunderbird
gellaho
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Hell yeah, more Thunderbird.
Its very affordable.
gellaho
gellaho
Ska Slut noiretoon
"sorry, I was assembled in a hurry"
gellaho
Sarah's back at the shelter, let's see if this goes anywhere
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gellaho
I guess the homeless people don't recognize her, implying they've gotten the thunderbird treatment
Ska Slut noiretoon
The look of a man who was put together despite the instructions accidentally getting thrown out with the box
Ska Slut noiretoon
PLEASE tell me they each get a bottle of Thunderbird regardless 🤣
gellaho
Let the homeless people eat their meat, Sarah
FancyShark
Yep, that common meat
Ska Slut noiretoon
Rain forest beef is what the rest of the team calls Sarah when she gets like this
gellaho
I'm sure all this Tyrone backstory is vitally important
FancyShark
"Hi. I'm Jerry Springer, Every Season Combined"
Velo, Juice Criminal
He dies in three pages doesn't he
gellaho
That's the only reason a homeless guy would have that, sure
FancyShark
That one's going in the collage
gellaho
Guess they completely skipped the Keys adventures in the books
gellaho
Jeff's erection came back
FancyShark
Just a reminder: Her powers made her hot
Ska Slut noiretoon
Powered by painkillers, Tyrone became OP8, Wager's archenemy
gellaho
This was not in the books, so I do not
FlippantSausage Bullies The Dead
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck oooooooooooffffffffffff